Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

GhostOfHeraclitus' "Who We Are, The Princesses Would Destroy" (kits' "Who We Are")

Author's Note:

[Slice of Life]

This chapter is written by GhostOfHeraclitus. It is an alternate ending to kits' Who We Are (18,828 words, [Slice of Life]), as resolved by the Civil Service protagonists of Whom The Princesses Would Destroy….

WHO WE ARE SPOILERS: The Mane Six receive a letter from Princess Celestia sharing the discovery that one of them has been a changeling since before they all became friends and saved Equestria together. After two days of fear, mistrust, guilt, and agonizing, when the moment of truth arrives and Twilight casts a spell to force the changeling to take her true form, all five of the other ponies decide that their bonds of friendship transcend the changeling's secret, and keep their eyes closed until the spell wears off.

Eventually they found me.

I don't know how. They just showed up one day. The little gray unicorn with an expression like a mournful dog, and the white pegasus, with a slick-looking mane, and tenseness around his eyes. They asked around and, of course, ponies told them where I was. Why wouldn't they?

I didn't try to run. There wasn't anywhere I could run to.

"How did you know? That it was me, I mean," I ask. I'm cold. Colder than I've ever been. Colder for knowing a touch of warmth, a warm hug of friends — true friends — before this. I won't fight. I won't dishonor them by doing that. I hope it doesn't hurt.

They've cornered me on a dusty trail leading out of town. I wasn't trying to run, I really wasn't. I just wanted to see as much of Ponyville as I could before they ... before it happens.

The short one regards me for a second, not unkindly, his deep-set eyes of faded gold looking tired. Then he speaks.

"We are the Civil Service, " he says. "Well, not just us, obviously. We know everything. Or try to. Once we thought to look it wasn't difficult."

"And you found out that I am a —"

"Was."

"What?"

"You were a changeling."

"What," I say again, shocked. What ... what does he mean? Is this some sort of cruel joke?

"You were a changeling. Past tense. But as of," he says, checking his pocket-watch with exaggerated care, "08:13 this morning you are a pony."

"What?" I sit onto the ground suddenly as my hind legs just give up. It's too much to even … I was expecting to die, not … not whatever is happening. Noticing my distress, he helpfully proffers a thick sheaf of papers.

"See? All nicely official. Signed by — ooh, a whole bunch of ponies. That's the princess. That's another princess. That one's me. I'm not a princess, granted, but still."

"What?"

"We can't have a changeling as an element of harmony. The House would have a fit. The national security implications would be catastrophic."

"Wh—"

"Please stop saying 'what,' miss."

I try to think of other words but they won't come. "I — I'm sorry. But —"

"Well, you can't be a changeling, so we made you a pony. All official-like. And tomorrow morning Princess Celestia can address the joint session of the House of Commons and the Council of Lords, with the whole government lined up in front of her and with Princess Luna — way past her bedtime — beside her, and tell ponykind in general that all the Elements of Harmony are ponies and not lie."

"But —"

"The Princess doesn't lie. Neither of them."

"But I — I'm not a —"

"Ever, miss. Ever. But if you disagree about being a pony, you are free to complain. Right of petition. Comes free with your shiny new Equestrian citizenship. I'd do it around eleven or so in the morning. Her best mood. If she offers you tea, accept. Best tea in Equestria."

I sit in silence for a while with the gray one still holding out the papers patiently and the white one flying above in lazy spirals, keeping watch. I try to think of something to say, something that isn't 'what,' something a smart ... pony might say, something right, but all I can think of is a simple question.

"Why?"

"Why, miss? Political expediency and intricate intrigue, in part, but mostly because you are one of her little ponies, species be damned."

Comments

[Meridian Prime]

This is awesome. Nothing else needs to be said.

[FanOfMostEverything]

I remember this one. One of the more delightfully heartwarming codas on the site.

[devas]

This fits well.

And that's actually high praise.

[Themaskedferret]

*Grins* This is perfect.

[Georg]

Celestia's wing extends over all, the great and the small.

[Lurks-no-More]

Ah, the Civil Service. True to the spirit of Equestria, and so civil about it.

[Spectrumancer]

Oh, i just love this.

[Misplaced Mage]

If the paperwork is order, it must be true!

Now, then, Mr. Buttle, the colts in Information Retrieval would like to have a word with you…

[Blackbriar]

Dat last line tho, take my upvote sir!

[PresentPerfect]

Beautiful, in more ways than one.

[horizon]

6297004
Well, of course, it's Ghost.

[Ryvaken]

"Why, miss? Political expediency and intricate intrigue, in part, but mostly because you are one of her little ponies, species be damned."

Upvote earned.

[horizon]

6428263
Yeah, GhostOfHeraclitus tends to have that effect on people.

(This particular chapter was written by him. Only about 1/3 of the stories here are mine.)

[djthomp]

This really is such a wonderful, heartwarming addition to the original.

[kits]

Sold

The last line in particular is everything I could have ever wanted from this

[Magenta Cat]

"[...] because you are one of her little ponies, species be damned."

That's the best line of this entire chapter. Hands down, full stop.

[ClockworkMage]

Objectively and ethically correct.

[arancaytar]

I love everything about this.

[horizon]

8557920
I'm thrilled that I played some part, however small, in this discovery.

Ghost is indeed a treasure.

[Teraunce]

this was nice.