Source

I Rant, Therefore I Am: A portrait of a verbose opinionated bastard

ghostofheraclitus@gmail.com http://ghostofheraclitus.tumblr.com/
User ID: 34,244
Registered: 18th May 2012
Last Seen: 6h, 12m ago
Story views: 19,303

Age: 26

Gender: Male

Occupation: Teacher by day, grad student by night.

Interests: Best described by the Borges quote: "There is a kind of lazy pleasure in useless and out-of-the-way erudition." That's me all over. When forced, kicking and screaming, into something useful I deal in applied computer science.

Origin of username: I tend to lurk at the background of threads popping in with obscure, obtuse comments decrying human nature. So I named myself after a lurking, obscure and obtuse philosopher. Who frequently decried human nature. It was that or 'Ho Skoteinós,' but I figured there is such a thing as too obscure.

Best pony: Twilight Sparkle

Amusing comments about me:

"...horrifyingly entertaining..." --Blue_Paladin42

"There is much in your last letter worth stealing." --Bad Horse

"I came for the story, but I'm staying for the Ghost." --Tast

"Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea is the showiest of showing stories and a wonderful study in how not to tell the reader anything.  (Yes, that's a recommendation.)"  --Causal Quill, née PrettyPartyPony

Required Pony Reading, Short Form

[Sad] [Slice of Life]
Twilight composes a letter about a terrible Hearth's Warming gift.
126552
[Sad] [Slice of Life]
A different view on the origins of Lyra and Bon-bon's friendship.
70614
[Random] [Adventure]
Nightmare Moon visits Twilight in the night, and things get biblical.
118028
[Slice of Life]
Sometimes, fiction matters.
4707
[Slice of Life]
The tale of two princesses and a song that changes things between them for the better. Plus, kebabs.
2584

Required Pony Reading, Long Form

[Sad] [Adventure]
Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle's bond is tested by miscommunication and guilt.
184142
[Romance]
What could be revealed when the mask called composure slips? Twilight and Celestia romance
158027
[Adventure]
Celestia and Twilight Sparkle go through some issues because of the latter's new diet.
33013
[Romance] [Adventure]
Luna takes the Elements of Harmony on a journey in more ways than one.
77913
[Romance] [Adventure]
Twilight and Luna explore a land that appears on no map
146723

Hello my readers, witty, wonderful, and wise!

So, I hope you all enjoyed the Skywriter story -- I certainly did. Now I can offer up as a suggestion yet another one: A Filly's Guide to Not Making Headlines by the inimitable Bradel. The fic is short and sweet and reminds me, a bit, of my own Civil Service stuff with a very strong dash of Original Flavor. I swear this could very well be a (very very good) episode of the show itself.

So. A Filly's Guide to Not Making Headlines. Read it. You won't be sorry. Promise.

GhostOfHeraclitus · 167 views

Latest Stories


A Canterlot Carol

The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

More Less
6,461 words · 2,028 views  ·  382  ·  3  · 

Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea

Early one morning, Twilight Sparkle gets up to make some tea.

Sometimes, a cup of tea is just a cup of tea. This is not one of those times.

More Less
1,671 words · 4,697 views  ·  747  ·  15  · 

Whom the Princesses Would Destroy...

To Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?

More Less
19,758 words ( 5 chapters ) · 12,578 views  ·  1,318  ·  18  · 

Comments

#481956 · 1w, 6d ago · · ·
Reply 

-A man in a white suit, red tie, and blank white mask wearing white gloves walks in.-

Well hello there! I saw what you did to Bad Horse after he destroyed that universe. Impressive work I must say.

-Glances down at wrist.-

I do apologise, I still have a lot of work to do for Master Zel, but I will say one thing before I go. . . I'll be watching and documenting your progress from now on.

-Snaps fingers and creates a crackling emerald green portal of Magic.-

TTFN.

-Exits through it, the portal closes with a 'Pop!'-

#469958 · 2w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>469949 Aww, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I just figured I needed to post something that'd show up on Poptard's feed to explain why I just followed him too.

:raritywink:

#469949 · 2w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>469909

I apologize. I did not want to complicate matters, but, yes, you are of course correct. You told me Skywriter followed someone who had very few followers, but I do believe I found out about the troping myself.

I did not mean to slight you by eliding your involvement.

#469909 · 2w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>464896 >>464912

Ahem. <cough> This isn't exactly true. You were told about Skywriter following this upstanding individual by someone who occasionally mines watchlists to find interesting people.

When you have someone like Skywriter who only follows fifteen people, and one of those people has no stories and only five... oh wait, six... followers; well, it's bound to attract a little notice from, shall we say, interested parties.

#469839 · 2w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>469748

Bad Horse did! :pinkiehappy:

But thanks for linking it anyway. :twilightsmile:

It's amusing to know footnotes make a lot people instantly think of me. Hah! Insanity does pay off. :pinkiecrazy:

#469748 · 2w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

Has anyone linked you to this yet? Because you were my first thought.

#469291 · 2w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

I Rant, Therefore I Am: A portrait of a verbose opinionated bastard
I think a Rainbow Laugh is appropriate in this case! :rainbowlaugh: Carry on you portrait of a verbose opinionated bastard! Thanks for the follow.

#464912 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>464896

Well, I saw Skywriter followed you, see, and clicked through to see why. Then I saw you were a prolific troper and decided to follow to see when you tropify your next story. I'm a massive TvTropes fan -- it's how I found out about FiMFiction and ponies, for that matter.

#464896 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·
Reply 

Thanks for the watch, although I mustache :moustache: you why. Surely it can't be because people read my TVTropes page, no?

Still, 5 followers is still 500% more than I expected. Thanks again!

#463908 · 3w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
Reply 

Today I caught myself daydreaming about Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea while in the kitchen this morning, after having read it forever ago. I still get enjoyment out of that fic.

I wanted you to know.

:twilightsmile:

5 34244