Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

Demesne For Sale (MrNumbers' "The Demesne Of The Reluctant Twilight Sparkle")

Author's Note:

[Comedy] [Sex]

This is a continuation of MrNumbers' The Demesne Of The Reluctant Twilight Sparkle (25,000+ words, [Romance] [Comedy] [Slice of Life]). It offers an alternate approach to Chapter 3 (making the assumption that Twilight could solve the problem by selling the residents to themselves), so you don't need to read the entire story.

"DEMESNE" SPOILERS: As a reward for her ascension and her heroic deeds, Princess Luna grants Princess Twilight Sparkle demesne over Ponyville. Meaning: She now literally owns both the town and everypony in it. Twilight stumbles through a series of misadventures in damage control once she discovers that refusing or transferring the gift could lead to even greater problems.

"Hello, Fluttershy," Twilight Sparkle said. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

Fluttershy stared past the edge of the cracked-open door. All Twilight could see of her was an unblinking sliver of eye in a tiny stripe of yellow. "Oh. Hi, Twilight. Yes, yes, it is."

Twilight waited. Fluttershy stared. Two squirrels chased each other through Twilight's hooves.

Twilight cleared her throat. "Uh, I was hoping you could maybe help me clear something up?"

"Anything for you, Twilight." The door didn't move.

"Yes. Well." Twilight coughed quietly into a hoof. "Do you remember that contract I drew up to put this whole ridiculous demesne thing behind us, transferring ownership of everyone in Ponyville to themselves for the sale price of one bit, to be subsequently donated to charity? Do you remember my announcement that I just needed everypony's signature as a party to the transaction in order to make the transfer legal and official?"

"Of course."

"It … err … appears to be one signature short."

Through the tiny crack, Fluttershy's cheek grew pink highlights. "That must be very. Um. Upsetting," she whispered. "I know how hard you worked on that."

"Fluttershy," Twilight said, feeling a migraine coming on, "it's YOUR signature."

Silence.

For a moment, Twilight thought the door was going to slam shut, but Fluttershy's eye slowly blinked, and the flush on her cheek deepened. "Well, um," she said faintly, "I must have forgotten."

"That's alright. I brought the contract."

"Okay."

A cock crowed from the coop around back of the cottage. A raccoon squirmed through a tight hole in the building's foundations, hind legs flailing and scrambling. A bluejay wheedelee'd in a nearby tree.

"Fluttershy," Twilight said, voice getting strained, "please open the door and let me in so we can get the contract signed."

Fluttershy mumbled something Twilight couldn't hear.

"What?"

Mumble.

"Maybe … um … you could say that louder?"

Mumble.

"Fluttershy," Twilight said, her temper slipping, "SPEAK UP!"

"Order me!" she squeaked.

Twilight stood there, mouth hanging open. "… What."

"Ord…" Fluttershy's voice locked up. Then Twilight saw her eye narrow in resolve. The door slammed open. Fluttershy stepped forward, standing in her doorway in something that looked like a maid's outfit but revealed far more than it covered. "Order me!" she shouted breathlessly. "Oh, Twilight, I've been such a bad pony, I haven't done what my owner wanted AT ALL. I've been so willful! MAKE me sign, Twilight! ORDER ME!"

* * *

Heart fluttering, Twilight glanced around the throne room. At the tapestries. At the stained glass. At the guards. At anything at all, just so long as it wasn't Celestia's eyes.

She reached behind her with a hoof, awkwardly, and tried to shove her wings back into their proper folded position.

"Twilight," Celestia said with strained maternal cheer, "this contract appears to be one signature short."

Comments

[Jordanis]

I think they call that topping from the bottom.

Incidentally, PFFFFFFTBAHAHAHA.

[Blue_Paladin42]

.__.

Heh,
Heheh.
Haaaaaaaaa.
Haahaaaaa.
Hahahaaaa.
HAHAHAHA~

[Ebonysdagger]

So Fluttershy behaves as expected eh? Works for me.

[horizon]

4317492 4317584 4317647

[Titanium Dragon]

That's wrong on so many, many levels.

Poor Twilight. Or maybe not so poor, given the ending.

[MrNumbers]

[MrNumbers]

REBOOTING

REBOOTING

REBOOT COMPLETE

Well, I remember you discussing this with me. It was certainly a memorable idea. It appears you remembered too. I laughed, and I shouldn't have, but I did. Fantastic.

[SPark]

Well, this story alone was worth reading the whole collection for. (Or most of the collection, I still need to read one or two of the original fics first.)

[horizon]

4361859
Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me, but it makes for some great reading sometimes.

[Spectrumancer]

It's always the quiet ones, huh?

[bitshoptyler]

I came here from 'The Writing on the Wall' (I don't think this version was written when I first read it, I managed to find the story again recently and saw a link.)

This made me want to read the rest of these mini-fics. Too bad I haven't read all of the original stories, I guess I'm going to have to add more to my 'read' list.

[Titanium Dragon]

This still amuses me far more than it should.

[horizon]

7833581
That makes two of us!

[Malandy]

Came here from

"Badass Waterwheels"

later in anthology! Hilarious!

Great time skip! And it works even if Twilight tried to prepare herself for Celestia's questioning, it was just too hawt for that to work!

[horizon]

11708368
Glad you enjoyed!

It brought a smile to my own face on a reread, too.