Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

Frozen Prison Blues (Benman's "The King's Lament")

Author's Note:

[Comedy] [Lyrics]

This is a continuation of Benman's The King's Lament (364 words, [Lyrics]).

THE KING'S LAMENT SPOILERS: It's a filk of Steve Earle's "The Devil's Right Hand," recrafted into tongue-in-cheek backstory: Sombra descended into villainy based on a crystal addiction. I responded in kind with a mashup of Johnny Cash and the "Crystal Empire" episode.

I hear that train a'comin. Its engine's runnin' warm.
Six ponies step on out and I send them a storm.
I'm stuck in Frozen Prison, and time keeps draggin' on…
But I'll retake the Empire soon as that bubble's gone.

When I was just a young colt, my momma told me, "Lad,
Don't ever touch a crystal, they're the devil's right hand"
I learned the darkest magic for a tiger's eye
Then my momma started crying. (I still do not know why.)

I see them weaving baskets, and watching jousting brawls
That unicorn is looking for my heart inside my halls
I just need to delay them, and then I can break free!
Now I've got you, little dragon —
— Excuse me, sir, did you just throw your WIFE at me?

AAAAAGHHHH!

Well, it's back into my prison,
With its fancy walls of ice
Some curtains or a crystal or a crossword would be nice
Here in Frozen Prison, where I am forced to stay
But some day, some day, some day … yes, I'll get out some day.

Comments

[Lurks-no-More]

Oh, nice! That's a good bit of filking.

[howard035]

Momma says the crystal is Tirek's right hand.