Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

Splinter Cell (FanOfMostEverything's "Aftershock")

Author's Note:

[Comedy]

This chapter is a continuation of FanOfMostEverything's Aftershock (1809 words, [Human] [Crossover] [Slice of Life]). NOTE: That story and the spoilertext below contain "Rainbow Rocks" spoilers.

AFTERSHOCK SPOILERS: Twilight takes Equestria's Rainbow Dash through the portal to the Equestria Girls universe to meet her human counterpart. Pony!Dash punches Human!Dash in the face and lectures her on how her grandstanding in the group's rock band threatened two worlds by going against the spirit of Loyalty. The story below is based on a throwaway line about the spell-check capabilities of a smartphone Twilight received as a gift in the human world.

"Twilight?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be mad."

"… What did you do, Rainbow?"

"You know how you told me not to use that cellulose phone to spell-check my Daring Do fanfic?"

"(Sigh.) I'd been wondering where it went. You did, didn't you?"

"Yyyyyyyeah."

"Look, I understand how addictive the other world's technology can be, but we really need to keep all of its artifacts secret. Just give it back before anything happens to it, and we can pretend this never happened."

"I, uh … kinda can't."

"Dash, what do you me—AAAAAAAAH! What HAPPENED to this?!"

"I, uh … kinda might have gotten mad and thrown it."

"At what, a running wood chipper?"

"No. Off the edge of Cloudsdale."

"For the love of Sun, why?"

"Did you SEE what it did to my story?! Listen to this! 'Darling Do top-hoods through the mushy horrid ores of the subtle raining Templar, hooding her breach as she snakes past the zebra can wart ions.' It's word salad!"

"… Dash, let me introduce you to a little concept called 'autocorrect' …"

Comments

[Themaskedferret]

Pfft, clearly the proper way to express displeasure witha smartphone

[Titanium Dragon]

FYI, this links to Left Shaken instead of Aftershock.

Good thing Left Shaken is a good story.

But it has nothing to do with this.

[horizon]

5272476
So it does. Apparently the chapter numbering there changed when FoME added a table of contents.

Fixed, and thanks for the heads-up!

[PresentPerfect]

Y'know, "cellulose phone" is a great joke, but Rainbow Dash wouldn't make it. Also, I don't think she'd know the phrase "word salad".

0/10, game of the year -IGN

[Titanium Dragon]

I reviewed Splinter Cell from this story collection.

My review can be found here.

Also, that title is a truly terrible pun.

[Lancerlot]

Cellulose phone for cell phone?

Oh, come on! Everyone knows the correct term has always been "Self-Phone!"
It's a device that allows the insane to talk to themselves without anyone else having to recognize their madness. Brilliant, really. Simply hold a block of plastic to your head while raving, and the world assumes you to be an important and respectable person!

[DarthSonic66]

... Why does the tech have to be kept secret, though?

[horizon]

9494445
For Plot Reasons™.

But really, I'd imagine it's the magical-world equivalent of "The Masquerade". Don't want to panic ponies with news of alternate dimensions whose first-contact scenario was very nearly a zombie invasion.