Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

by horizon

Shaggy Dog Story (Skywriter's "Shipping Sickness")

Author's Note:

[Comedy] [I Am Not Even Sorry]

This chapter is a continuation of Skywriter's Shipping Sickness (2286 words, [Romance] [Comedy] [Random]).

SHIPPING SICKNESS SPOILERS: Twilight abuses a Come-To-Life spell in order to play out romantic relationships between her furniture. The story is one long excuse for glorious-slash-horrible puns like "Shining Armoire" and "Mi Amore Credenza" (you can tell how consummate the punnery is, because it's been a year since I read the story and I still remember those).

The two princesses walked in. Or, at least, a radiant white princess and some giant rust-red ball of fur wearing Luna's crown. Here it was: the lecture.

"Celestia! I'm so sorry," Twilight cringed. "And ... er ..." She stared at the four-legged dust trap. "What is that, I don't even."

A canine muzzle peeked through the layers of thick fur. "We are not amused, Twilight Sparkle."

Celestia's helpful attempt to look stern wasn't even in the same room as sincere.

"Alright ... perhaps with the benefit of hindsight we shall find this amusing," Luna allowed.

"But you still ought to be more careful," Celestia added, finally managing a mild maternalism.

"Or at least target her next time," Luna muttered under her breath.

"Wait, what do you mean? Did I do that?" Twilight cast frantically through her memory. There were the wards, and the Bring-To-Life spells ... but to turn Luna into some sort of ... wolf-thing ...?

Celestia coughed and discreetly hornpointed at the lush, imported sofa Twilight had animated the previous night. There, draped over the arm, was the Easily Forgettable Pun-Based Magical Feedback Device that Celestia had predictably forgotten after her visit last week.[1]

[1] Only eight bits! Available now from MacGuffin industries.

"Oh." Twilight gave the princesses her best sheepish look. That explained it.

Wait. No it didn't. "Er ... I don't get it. Why is Luna a shaggy dog?"

Luna sighed and shook her head, then removed the feedback device from the Irish settee.

Comments

[Titanium Dragon]

Stories like this is why the internet was invented: so people can't punch you when you're done telling them.

[pterrorgrine]

What's up with that nifty new footnote style?

[nemryn]

5563407
The right_insert tag, that's what's up!

[horizon]

5563407 5563977
AWESOME is what's up. Also right_insert.

5563291
I PUT "I AM NOT EVEN SORRY" RIGHT IN THE STORY TAGS

WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT

[Titanium Dragon]

5564563
Did I ever mention that my dad once told me a feghoot that he managed to drag out the telling of to nearly 45 minutes?

[Themaskedferret]

Oh my god that is sodding brilliant.

[pterrorgrine]

5563977
5564563
Hi from the future. I've learned that:

The right_insert tag doesn't seem to work with comments.

Neither does the vanilla right tag.

5564726
Your dad sounds very... dad-like.

[Lurks-no-More]

That's some awesome and groan-inducing meta-punnery. *groan*

[Ninelives]

I understand the connection between Luna's fuzzyness and the name of the furniture...
and yet I feel like I'm still missing the joke. :/

I.e. what is the logical connection between the spells Twilight cast and the, er, present side-effects?
Certainly, there was a 'feedback device' present... but I feel like I'm missing a step.

[horizon]

5760571
An Irish setter is a red shaggy dog. [link]

So when Twilight left the pun-based feedback device on the Irish settee, it turned Luna into an Irish setter — both because of the wordplay involved, and also because it literally turned this narrative into a shaggy dog story. [link]

[arancaytar]

Irish settee

...

...

...

[horizon]

6129572
To quote Skywriter's original story:

Somewhere below, in the common room, a weary and inexplicably Failsafe spell-resistant drum kit looked up in the direction of the library loft.

"Ba dum pum," it said to itself. "Tish."

[PresentPerfect]

This was bad and you should feel bad.

[horizon]

6307324

6307332
I look forward to that being the entirety of your review of the story.

[SPark]

...ah. Well, that answers the question in my previous comment! He he hehe.