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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Chapter Updates!!! They occur!
So I'm terribly excited for these two chapters. Both were pretty fun to write, and Chap 8 was a blast (and my biggest chapter yet).
I am so appreciative of the support I've been given by you all in this. You have no idea how much it means to me to soldier on and keep this thing going!
624032
Heh. Is that a good or a bad "oh my" ?
That bit of closure needed to take place. KKats version with the giant twilight after the bomb went off with littlepip was nice, but it didn't feel right....or I should say it felt like if that was Twilight it may have been remembered as a dream if at all.
But this, we see is something that even though it's so sad, it feels much more emotional and if you will visceral. I felt for both Sparks and Star and how Star was crying for Sparks. In fact I couldn't tell if Sparks was taking over Star's body and said the words or not. But I figure Star didn't mind if it did, I bet she would let her have that moment for a long lost friend.
Still, I hope we see another memory orb with Pinkie Pie in it and her going about that moment. Knowing her she'd be all then for the forgiveness, then and want to throw a party and talk to both Sparks and Star in the porcess, which would make everyone think Pinkie went again.
Well, that's the hope anyways. Oh will we see anything about Rainbow Dash and if she's alive or dead? Because I know Gilda couldn't have beaten her and Dash had to have done something to keep loyal to her promise to meet little pip. How epic would that be and the conversation she'd have with everyone over how she did it and how so random she is.
Oh, and Vol? " Violet had let me be by myself after she began to I stared at the charred skeleton at the other side of the room and then back to the terminal, which had now popped up a message." You forgot something, at "she began to" you cut off and put I and it sort of make the whole thing stumble.
You could fix it by saying "She began to understand as I stared at the charred skeleton"
it would fix the stumble and help the flow of the story. Sorry if I have to point it out but if I didn't I'd let something that is holding back the emotional punch of this moment ruin the whole story. At least that what I think.
625005
This was totally a mental slip, totally fixed now. Thanks! And don't worry about pointing it out, pointing out mistakes and stuff is how we grow and how we make ourselves better!
Thank you so much for your comments. I've been working this scene out in my head now for a long time, and it just seemed to click with this chapter. So your feedback is much appreciated.
Yay More Helping.
"A faint clicking sound indicated that the weapon was running out ammo soon." Yup
Start Of The Rarity Orb, "And do take the rest of the day OF dearie," -- Needs More F's :P
I Didn't See Any Others, Loving This Series, Keep It Up!
625380
Hey, thanks for the comment. Much appreciated! I fixed the f's. Hehe.
626316
Thanks! I will look at those sentences when I get home this evening. Yea just slight messups in editing, pretty much my fault really. And yea thoughts were supposed to be italic, I just missed them during formatting.
Thanks again for the comments!
626959
Highly amusing good sir. Yes, the duet was a ton of fun to write.
Oh nice they visit the place where Littlepip found the Twilight statue.
But i also remember that Littlepip said something about going back to the hub and bury Pinkies remains but i don't know if they actually did it.
But i have to say the part where Littlepip found pinkie was one of the parts in FO:E where i really went after reading it and you continued it brilliant because it was more personal than the conversation Littlepip had with the giant Alicorn after Maripony!
And now i totally want to know what the heck Twi was doing secretly in her basement that had to do with necromancy and changelings and that nopony knew about. It sounds a lot like PH there with all the secret projects that died with the few ponies that knew about them in the war.
627243
Thanks i will reread those parts to check that.
627243
Based on my rereads, I can't see any place where it was said that, and I was reasonably sure of this when I conceived the scene in the first place, so yeah. I'm good.
Thanks for your comments though!!!
627598
Oh well thats good then maybe it was about one of the other dead ponies they found and there are quite a few dead ponies to be found and it has been a while since i finished FO:E perhaps im going to reread it sometime
yay new chapter cant wait for the next
628470
Thanks! It's being worked on. Hopefully going to be fun. I am personally excited to get it done, as it's shaping up nicely so far.
639171
Thanks :)
Character closure instead of 200 year old mysteries GASSSSSSSSSSSSSP
Hmm, a locked safe in an area that Littlepip, the master of unlocking, and Calamity, Kleptomaniac Hero, explored that wasn't open? Sounds fishy.
Heh, Steeljack and Patch. Totally saw that coming. Silly main characters thinking they're the only ones that can have a night of fun
Welp, been reading this on the train from/to work, so I guess I'll finally be catching up
And now...
The Introspection Reflection Correction Section!
> Like I said, we’d have been right there after you, but without knowing where you went off to, and it getting so late the guards wouldn’t let us even leave the hotel.
Odd sentence. I'd expect a comma after "and it getting so late", but that'd mean the guards were aware of the fact she didn't know where they went off to as part of what makes them decide not to let her leave the hotel, which seems kinda odd.
Without the comma, though, the guard only cares about the time (as I'd kinda expect in this case), but then you got a sentence of the structure "given factor X, and factor Y, then conclusion Z". And in that case, your "then conclusion Z" part is missing.
> as well as the possibility of a draqonequus in the area.
Nothing wrong with this one, but, I'd really think Homage would file a sighting of Discord under trippy rumours
Also, pretty sure she'd just say Discord, seeing as he's the only draconequus ponykind really knows of, as far as we know.
> sticking me into pegasi bodies?
"Pegasus bodies". If it were about unicorns, you wouldn't say "unicorns bodies" either. It's about the type of body, and that type is singular.
> This I gathered as much from my host’s thoughts and feelings towards the two mares in her office.
Um... memory orbs kinda don't record those. I'd replace "thoughts and feelings towards" by "reaction to", personally.
> Why wouldn’t it be easy?
Should be either "why would it be easy" (sarcasm) or "why couldn't it be easy" (lamenting). As it is, it seems like a comment on something that IS easy.
D-damn it.......reading about Pinkie Pie's final message not getting to Twi always makes me blubber....it just so...so sad and T^T ...anypony got a tissue?
I'm pretty sure Homage never revealed her identity, but I dunno. Not sure if mistake or... anyway, I saw it a couple other times. Fix if need be.
I absolutely loved the entire Daring Do and her stable section, but it felt a little rushed towards the end when the ghouls attacked. Then again after Project Horizons every scene seems rushed to me. Regardless, the end was really touching. Well done.
3012413
The message was a part of DJ Pon3's broadcast, but she specifically said that Homage, her assistant had a message for the Ministry Mare.
EDIT: Yeah, I know I'm replying to an old message, but whatever.
I was under the impression Radiant Star and the Giant Alicorn that saved LittlePip were one and the same, hence why Twilight's Spirit was inhabiting her. I guess that's just my headcannon until I read the real reason.
Also, I'm having trouble placing the timing of this story. Various clues point out that this takes place AFTER the final chapter of LittlePip's story (sunlight is mentioned, FotA has been formed, etc), but other details between this story and Khat's feel inconsistent. The main one is that Radiation is still plaguing the Wasteland. That means This is before the Gardens of Equestria haven't been activated yet (and possibly the other Element Bearers haven't been found yet). I recall LittlePip saying to his companions that they would have one year to find the other bearers before there wouldn't be enough food for the Pegasus still living above the cloud curtain, but I recall Violet mentioning that they were working on a way to turn Alicorns Male for a few years. This implies that...
ah screw it! I'm over thinking this!
Nice, a baulders gate reference.
1239211 Remember how discord resets everything or something like that? Ya know, empty containers mysteriously having a few caps inside?
>>jardex22
That is explained by Somber in Project Horizons actually. Quite a good read even if it isn't finished yet. It is also a very emotional time in that story. All in all, I recommend reading it after this.
Oh goddess, you predicted that Daring Do was real! Are you psychic?!
Okay, been to long since I got back to this, sorry, stuff kept coming up.
Well, that's a rather harsh take on things Star. Yeah the ponies back then messed up, but it was while trying to do the right thing. Trying to make the worl dbetter and end the war. That said, again, it's consistent with her entire view on this that's already been established. And yeah she has a rather harsh view on the ponies from back then, but it makes sense and is understandable why. But still, always nice to get these looks at her thoughts and fears and hopes. She's so confused about what is going on, where she is going, but is still trying to make the most of it.
I should have noted this earlier but, a church? That seems rather odd for Ponies. The only real even close to deity they had were The Sisters, who I really don't see being alright with this kind of worship. And the whole venerating them as deity's wasn't even that large a concept at the time, but was more something that grew in the Stables. That said, as the war got worse, ponies started losing it, couldn't deal with the war, needed something to cling to.... I could see something like that maybe happening.
Well, saw that coming from the start. Too bizarre not to be a dream with that opening narration but, just all in her mind? Just her dealing with the stress of the last few days? Or, subtle hints from her subconscious and foreshadowing? A mix of both? I'm guessing most likely just her own fears manifesting. As that, nothing to special that you didn't already figure she was feeling. Concern for Iris, worry over Greed and Discord. So the dream made sense. For a dream anyway and, not to bad. No massive revelations but, a bnice bit of character to it and something she would logically be dealing with.
Granted having a nightmare like that right after what she did to wear herself out... might make iris a bit concerned about her skills.
True, a bit heavy hooved in making the point, but a true point nonetheless, and one she does eem to be getting.
I really like that about Star, sure she isn't the brightest pony, makes stupid mistakes, doesn't think things through. But she's not an idiot, just... impulsive. Actually reminds me a lot more of RD then Twilight in that respect. More then able to understand things when she tries, but more then likely to just dismiss things if they don't immediately hold her interest, and not one for thinking things through all the way before leaping into action. But she can and does learn quickly when she needs to.
Chocolate covered marefriend not a filling meal?
Yeah, humping each others brain's out is a pretty strong hint for how you feel about each other. Granted that's been clear for awhile now.
You know, I was going to add a bit above about how it does'nt quite work to show how you feel if being drunk off your flank is involved first. Really wish I had now. But, so double dating in the Wastes? Or just a couple, and two horny ponies that happen to have matching tab A and slot B?
Or, given they went to bed together.. after hitting up the bar.. they are simply so passed out you need to bang louder on the door.
I like him, he's not an idiot, and knows better then to assume anything unless he's got a corpse in front of him. Good for him.
Only the back of your mind? Like you don't know there isn't any way in Tartarus he isn't going to bug you for this entire trip.
Yes, let's just either A. ignore that fucking atrocity to everything FOE is about. or B. go there and make clear, this isn't that abominations idea of that place.
Well, saw those to bucking each other coming, did not expect it to still be going on. Still, Littlepip's reaction to walking in on this thing was much more hilarious. Now the best response, just ignore it, tell them not to stop on their account as the other two just start packing up. That would have been the best.
You know.. I'm not sure but... that could be taken as Violet giving Steeljack a pretty sick burn.
Star.... "Wow I didn't know you were that flexible Patch."
1. So, you walk in on that... and all you actually notice is a chance to check out Steeljack's cutie mark, while completely ignoring what was going on? And yet, I am not in the least surprised.
2. Hammer cutie mark, on the team guy and early companion with a kind of loner, roving do gooder vibe to him. This seems familiar.
What's to be sorry about? I'm sure Star would be glad to tell you about her and Violet's night. Like I said, not the least surprised by that. Just that it was still going on since that night. Or, they just wake up and figure might as well have a bit more fun?"
So.. does Star just not get what they were doing in there, which is a stretch, or just not see fucking as anything to be at all upset over of embarrassed/private about? Which, I could see being possible for her.
Awwwww, should have left that part in.
Hmmmm, you know, this seems rather quick for any type of serious relationship. And, neither of them really seems the type to do something like this. Fall in love that quick. Still, possible it's just Star not quite getting casual sex is just casual sex and doesn't mean there's any type of relationship.
Listening to the radio the whole time just for the music, and eventually getting to the news.. I like this, much much better then tuning in JUST in time for the plot important broadcast. Me like.
Given all the shit homage has seen, especially since she has the Wild Wasteland perk, I could totally buy her just casually reporting something like this and find it possible.
Why would she do that? By this point, even though somehow nopony in the party has read it, The Book of Littelpip should be out, meaning everypony would know Homage and DJ were the same pony. But beyond that, why do it like this? With Littlepip it made sense to say they were messages from Homage because it was a way to be personal, to slip in far more detailed, messages then she could pretending to be DJ, make clear her feelings, it meant something. Here... why? There's nothing special about saying it's from homage instead of DJ. As to the messages itself, eh, nothing bad but, rather generic.
You are in the single digit chapters of an FOE story, yeah you got a lot of shit to get through.
Maybe nothing. "Awareness, it was under E" doesn't exactly flow well with the rest of them. But, sure there is some reason that's actually a secret message.
Okay, the smart bit sure but, sounds really weird someone like that calling her an 'egghead'. Somepony with Dash's personality, sure. Violet? Doesn't quite feel right.
So... whatever happened to the telepathy spell?
So, why haven't you watched all of them then yet?
Whaaaaa? How do you.. get from "Something about Pinkie Pie" to "Check out this one specific building that is several days journey from us, back the way we came."? There's also an MoM hub in Filly you know. And who knows how many others between the two.
That... sounds rather pretentious the way you said it Star.
But... you've been gone like what, three, four days? So, is the real end of the world threat Star is going to have to defeat the total collapse and warping of the entire space-time continuum causing events to rapidly rush along faster then they should, distances to be compressed from a few days travel by air, to a few hours on hoof, and all the other bizarre things going on?
Better question, why wasn't that door open the first time if the statue was sitting there? Okay okay, to be fair.. could be some way of closing the door after that, which requires the statue to be taken off and put back before it opens again.
Bad choice of words... Star might just take that literally.
Yes, truly few ponies have quite the grasp of how to creatively swear in the most blasphemous wys possible as Littlepip. Sorry Star but, the Stable Dweller you ain't.
Ah, the old fall back for trap detection and/or disarming. Send the meatshield in first. Well, the idol already felt like something out of a Daring Do novel so, guess this fits.
How.... okay the clicking means irradiated, but the black spots? the whole reason radiation is so dangerous, and the PipBuck has a detector built in for it, is that you can't see it. So, the black stuff is some other contamination and not just a sign of irradiation?
Again, EFS functions in a 360 degree arc around the pony, but only along a single vertical plane. It can tell direction along an X, Y graph with the user in the middle, and a vague sense of distance. It can't detect if something is above or below. And right below, would be completely out of it's sensor range.
At least when Frosty talks to herself, she can multitask on killing stuff at the same time.
...
Well that was an.. alright action scene. Start was great, opponent was cool, and then the reveal, well done. The ending was a bit anti-climatic though.
Why not? Gold is relatively soft, shouldn't be too hard to brute force out a few chunks.
I could reply but, well...
Pretty well sums it up.
Okay... when even Littlepip, aka the most powerful telekinetic in over two hundred years, if not ever, can't do that, and needs to hack the doors to open them........ yeah not buying it. Unless this is some kind of stable knockoff and not a real one.....
Why? The other three, yes, but Star? She's an alicorn, they are not only healed by radiation, but with enough of it, get superpowers.
Wait.....
Oh, the door wasn't sealed, just, kind of sitting there.. okay, ignore the above nitpick.
Wait.. so they gave Daring Do her own Stable?
You know...... that is just too awesome a concept to complain about or try to nitpick.
That actually being her... not so much.
No, it doesn't. Just because Daring Do was one, is no reason to include it. Stables were made for long term survival, they wouldn't include stuff like this because one current pony was a pegasus, they would make sure anypony that became overmare could use it. Baring the all pegasi stables, there should be no cloud based tech in any of the other stables.
Unless it was Daring own personal terminal she had brought in, and there is a spare, non-cloud based one that could have been swapped out if needed.
Ugh... bad story.. bad.
You know before, the odd insight's Star got in these, things that felt like she was reading her host's thoughts, could have just been picking up tiny, subtle physical cues others might just not catch. This... this is just... no, BAD story. It was made very very explicit that viewing a memory orb allowed sensory information only, no insight into the host's thoughts, just what their sense were recording.
1. Nice typo. 2. Why the hell would RD call her 'professor'? Or, this kind of a jab at how Daring's being all lecture mode?
They were a convoy of Zebra's, showing up at night at a Pony school, with neither side having any idea what was going on. Caution was rather well called for. Keeping them back while sorting out what was going on. Granted what exactly set things off isn't clear. We know the automatic defense systems kicked in and killed the Zebra's but not the full reason why. Glitch in their programing? one of the guards getting twitchy and activating them? The leader of the school? one of the Zebra do something that caused them to appear aggressive in the systems judgement and cuased it to take action?
Also, Kindess? how do you show Kindess?
The orb as a whole. I like the take on Daring, just wanting to explore for it's own sake. Wanting to stay out. knowing enough about the Zebra's to know things are being handled wrong, but not enough, or being active enough to do much about it.
Twilight.. not so much. Exploring how the war effected Twi, great idea. But this, seems to be pushing her a bit to far al together. I get the grief, the pain, wanting to find a way to end it. But, this just feels like it's pushing that a bit to far, making her go further then even those circumstances would lead to. Even at the end, she still felt like herself. Just look at the Star Orb, her conversation with Trixie, that happened at most a few weeks before The End. She didn't feel anywhere near this on edge, this direct, this... over done.
I do get what the story is going for, and do think it's a great thing to explore, but feels like it's pushing Twi's issues a little to far.
How does she know who Daring was now? Or, is she just acting like she knows more then she does simply from stuff she pieced together from the Orb?
Oh for the love of Celestia story... are you even trying?
I could buy Daring Do having her own Stable. I could buy Stable Tec making a Stable devoted to preserving this type of thing. Archeological treasures, the discoveries Daring made... that is actaully a pretty damn aweome idea.
I can even buy them placing it in such a ridiculously over done manor. Granted I'm assuming it was something that already existed, daring found, and they just placed the Stable inside it.
BUT, the numbering is just plain impossible. It was outright made perfectly clear that Stable 101 was the last one built. And it doesn't even have the utterly hilarious hindsight bonus it would given the reveal today if it had been stable 111.
So, no massive accident, no issues in the Stable, no bizarre monster, no.. anything odd. Just, they opened up the Stable to soon, and died from the radiation still being to high? that... You know I can't say I 'Like' it but, that is really well done. The Stable was likely so deep underground, with the caverns and all, it didn't have good sensors to monitor the outside world. And we already know Ponies massively underestimated how long it would take for the surface to be habitable again. It.. is a rather interesting, and very believable end and... yeah well done.
Though still a nagging feeling that it's.... just... a bad way for Daring Do of all ponies to die. So, simple, basic... with the exception of her being there, that is, one amazing sad, but well done way to have a Stable end badly. But as an end point for Daring Do.. it just.. doesn't feel right.
Love the idea of her being in charge of a Stable. Really like the idea for how the Stable failed. Just, don't like her involvement in the second part of that.
That would be most ponies. And Star, your biases are showing again.
But, yeah do not like that last line... but does work as it's Star's own thoughts, not the story saying only they cared. And we've seen how Star views the past and how overall pessimistic she is about ponies back then.
And now changing that? though still works but.. okay let's see where you are going story.
no you aren't. Just, somehow the IMP also gives you the ability to absorb it. unless, something in IMP is related to balefire Radiation. Also, that's something else you might be forgetting, what is called "radiation" in FOE isn't true radiation like we know it. It's not a natural effect, it can't come from multiple sources. It's a remnant of Balefire.
Hmmmmmm..... The Stars.... emitting radiation like Balefire, something that Zebra's spread across the globe while trying to fight The Stars' harbinger. And we now The Star prefer to just give ponies/zebras the means to their own end, and sit back and watch as we destroy ourselves... hmmm, this has some interesting implications.
Also, this would make sense. Good job so far Story.
Ohh I like this. And it makes sense. Yes we know Stable 3 was the stable specifically set up for Zebras. But it wasn't a "you can only go to this one" type deal. It was made to show that ponies and zebras CAN live together peacefully. And it wasn't an all or nothing deal for Zebra's. Go here or nowhere. it's just there was only one spot in Equestria that had a large enough Zebra population to be worth setting up a Stable like this. Canterlot. And given Zebras were rare enough in Equestria before the war, and most of those that were there moved to Zebratown. I can see almost no other Zebra's being in Stables. Not because Stable Tec would exclude them, but simply, none near Stables to get in. but at the same time, could have gone in some. And Daring having some in her Stable... makes perfect sense. She clearly had no racism at all about them, and would want their own unique culture and ideas about artifacts. So, good job on that tidbit story. Got the numbering of the Stable all messed up, but kudos on the Zebra bit.
See, I knew she'd find a way to knock herself out.
..... you know.... I am legitimately surprised at the lack of that as well.
So close, yet so far story. I complement you, and you let it go to your head. As I said, no, there weren't. there was one Stable 3, and that was it. Because there simply were not enough Zebra's, in high enough concentration, to support more then one.
This makes sense. the rest were all secret, meant only to be known after the Stable sealed. This one, they likely developed it in league with Daring, had her help design it, pick the ponies/Zebras to go in, all of it being decided on before hoof, so no need for a secret message.
Will you ponies please stop telling her this? it only encourages her.
Twi... you have no idea just how perfect a question this is, and... this is going to be a really good reaction...
Yup.
*Cue music* "It's not. Cree-py!"
Yeah I get her grief and all but, unless this is like, right after it still and she's till coming to terms with it, it's pushing things a little far.
That better be a StealthBuck and not the story trying to say he can turn invisible. Again something not even the best unicorns in the MAS, or Twilight herself could work out how to make a spell out of. Until Trixie managed to find a way, and even then only able to do so with great concentration and for a few seconds at a time.
Second, so, Rarity secretly keeping tabs on Twilight, knowing more then she let son, and how bad this can go, but not telling her because, well, then she'd have to admit to the Black Book. I like it. The complexity.
And just what went on with Star is looking more clear. The experiment she was trying to use to bring back Shiny, instead being used to try and bring her back. Now the question is, why now? How was it kicked into motion? Why Star? And more details but, the overall shape is looking good.
That's another thing, story seems to have a bad case of overstating how long an Orb takes. Per canon, it takes as long as the memory itself. And it hardly seems like some of the memories she been in took as long as it's been while she was in it.
*Exasperated sigh* yeah we've already been over how badly this story mangles distances.
That said, it doesn't help when the story keeps pointing out how odd it's sense of distance is.
That... makes so little sense. Granted, it does lead to some fun thoughts. Either it working so so damn nonsensical and impossible, Littlepip's group just completely ignored the possibility and never bother to check them. Or, they realized even if they did work, trusting them was to stupid an idea... even more mid-Mint-al addiction Littlepip. but not for Star's group.
Not sure which is funnier.
Wow that stauette get was.... impressivly contrived and.. did not like.
First, this whole hint to go there all that.... why? the hint was rather contrived and made little sense how they figured it out. Why couldn't homage tell them clearer? Why would she guide her to that? How could a locked anything still exist in a building after Littlepip had been there? Just the entire thing feels, really forced and meh and contrive and just, not natural. Everytime Littlepip found one, it felt natural for her to find it when and where she did, and how. The first two,. were still pretty well done, this one? not even close.
And the biggest issue, it's impossible. That note means it's Pinkie's own statue of herself. BUT, it was already established the one Littlepip got, came from Pinkie's set. Pinkie having given it to the original DJ-PON-3, and it being passed down to Homage.
The computer stays logged in even after months of inactivity? Given what we've seen of Equestria lack of tech security... I can buy it.
Hmmm, that message... a reason for Star to be the one etting hit with this... was she the Alicorn twilight temporarily possessed to save Littlepip?
As much as I nitpick about little continuity errors, or Star being an idiot at times or, just find thing to snark at.... I do really love this story.
So yeah another good chapter. Some bits felt off. The Stable number, Daring Do's death in that way... though it being the artifact instead.. that has some irony to it I do kind of like. Patch and Steeljack hooking up to that extent feels WAY to quick and forced. Them hooking up for some fun, gradually getting closer, that could work. But one night of drunk sex and suddenly a couple? Pushes it. Twi feels.... odd. Like i said, a bit to overdone in how nuts she's going. I get what the story is going for, but this feels like it's going to hard on that idea. But only a little.
Star continues to be awesome. Good mix of lazy, impulsive, and tending to not think things through. While not being an idiot, able to rise to the occasion when she has to. Brave, selfless. Really love her overall.
Again sorry this took so long, and still... so much left to do.....
Well, I think I see what you're going for here. They cleaned up a mall, ponies can open stores; they clean up a museum, ponies can open a tourist spot. Not sure anyone would actually want to go there, but it's a good first step.
I think I like Patch. She's no Calamity, but I think I like her. This is important, because I've had no one to latch on to until now. I was also amazed by Snips and Snails, the latter especially. I'm surprised they didn't appear in the original, or at least I don't remember them. "Tossing through the list like it was a fresh salad" is probably the best writing I've heard from this so far.
But once again, they cross paths with Littlepip's legacy, and there's just no emotional impact from seeing Pinkie.
6607120 They were in the original. They worked for Rarity and were the ones that actually performed the soul splitting ritual she used to create the Ministry Mare figurines.
Great story, my only complaint is the portrayal so far as Twilight as a bad Pony, war Twilight I mean. I think I get the reasoning though throughout the story so far, we all know how she acts when she's stressed, and that it's her friends and family that calm her down, whereas here depicted is the cause of the stress being the loss of her Brother, (still don't know why he wasn't inside the shield at the time.) but also the factor that she abnd her friends are often separated and in high stress jobs, however I still think Necromancy is a bit of a far jump.
Still a great story though.
Reading on.
Honora Imperator
This story was pretty rough starting out. I'll admit a few times I almost put it down to find another story to read. But the story kept me just hooked enough and by this point (I'm writing this after reading chapter 8) most of my complaints are pretty much fixed. You've really improved your writing.
That last part was amazing it brought tears to my eyes.
6052587
I juat took like 10 or 20 minutes just ro read through this one commwnt....holy crap how do you have this much time to write these