Monster attacks. Crime. Illegal hallucinogens made from electric fruit.

They say things didn't use to be like this. They say things were different, before Luna came back 60 years ago, but Detective Hard "Hardy" Boiled of the Detrot Police Department has never known any world other than that demarcated by the seedy streets of his beloved decaying metropolis; a world in which the coroners sing and dance, surveillance bugs have personality disorders, and the Chief of Police is a scarier entity than most of the eldritch things the city attracts.

The grey unicorn who turned up dead outside the posh High Step Hotel seemed like just another case, but her missing horn is the pointy tip of a very large and nasty iceberg. It's up to Hardy and his friends - a rejected monster hunter, a psychic cab driver, and an underground antiques heir - to find out what’s going on in an investigation that promises to stick more than a cupcake into the very eye of Detrot.

Especially if Hardy has anything to say about it.

By Popular Demand, there is now a Patreon

Additional editing by coandco Sig_Awesome, Hinds, Clint, and Raccoon!
Featured on EQD - 5 Stars!
Cover art by MisterMech (http://mistermech.deviantart.com/)
Now with TVTropes page here!

The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide they need to expand their numbers, but things quickly go awry when their first target begins sobbing on the spot. Sweetie Belle soon finds herself roped into hanging out with the young colt.

Can Sweetie Belle see past the young colts weirdness and allow friendship to bloom? Can Button Mash fake enough normal behavior to make at least one friend? Will these two hit it off, or are Button’s only friends destined to be the ones in his video games, forever?

Cover art by users Vallis and Novel-Idea

Something terrible is summoned to Equestria and now Princess Celestia has her toughest friendship project yet.

Meet Beelzeboob. Nopony is quite certain what he is. Nopony is quite certain if they like him. Almost everypony wants to kill him at some point. To help him fit in, Princess Celestia gave him a puppy and sent him to Ponyville, to learn if a minor spirit of disharmony can learn the magic of friendship.

Edit: Somehow featured on the fifth of September, 2014. It is a mad, mad, mad world.

Princess Celestia is in your bed, and you don't know why: what do?

Cute, funny, and short. Have fun reading!

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Now with audio reading by CaptainBron3y
Second audio reading by MeloncholyIguana.

Based on this story:
Princess Celestia is (still) in your Bed
Princess Celestia Has Stolen All Your Bed Sheets
Drunk CelestAI Is In Your Bed
Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed
Princess Celestia is in Your Washing Machine

Trixie just wants a little attention. Male attention, in particular. However, considering her winning personality, unique charm, and social grace... physical appeal is really the only option she has left. And Trixie wouldn't be Trixie if she didn't try to fudge things a little bit in her favor.

And it wouldn't be Trixie's life if the universe didn't inexplicably conspire to ensure all of her efforts ended in failure and great personal embarrassment.

Warning: Contains breast expansion for comedic effect; humanized ponies; pervy Rainbow Dash; Twixie; an extremely juvenile sense of humor; and Trixie's endless misfortune, also for comedic effect.

Sweetie Belle is torn between crusading with her friends and finally being allowed to help Rarity in her boutique.

Not wanting to disappoint either, Sweetie Belle decides to make a copy of herself. But it all goes horribly wrong as Sweetie Belle copies multiply exponentially and everypony in town claims one as their own.

Spoilers in the comments.

Love Tap experiences another morning of the joys of parenthood with her son Button Mash.

Anon has a mare problem. A big mare problem. During the day, they treat him just fine. However, when night falls... that's where their inner desires rise to the surface and attempt to take Anon by force.

Note: A parody many horror games, including Five Nights at Freddies and SCP Containment Breach.

Hello dear readers and fellow lovers of ponies. This story is probably the most horrible thing you will ever read. It is crazy and disturbing and downright random. I PROMISE. I ABSOLUTELY PROMISE THAT THIS COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOU GO INSANE BY THE SHEER STUPIDITY. Still here? You are a brave soul....*evil laugh here* This is the tale of the ugly alicorn Princess Peter and his many adventures in an above average day in Ponyville. Hilarity promised.

Princess Celestia sends Twilight Sparkle a letter, asking the same question she always does. Maybe a visit from Spike will prompt her to give an answer at last.

Lengthened version of the 6th-place finisher in the /fic/ mini write-off "One Little Mistake."

Thanks to The Descendant for reading over this for me and making sure it had something useful to say.

Featured on Equestria Daily!