I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
Twilestia is Bestia956 stories ·3,265 members
Twilight is Best Pony6,371 stories ·3,071 members
Twilight Sparkle12,269 stories ·4,753 members
Spike Fanfictions5,587 stories ·2,954 members
Princess Celestia sends Twilight Sparkle a letter, asking the same question she always does. Maybe a visit from Spike will prompt her to give an answer at last.
Lengthened version of the 6th-place finisher in the /fic/ mini write-off "One Little Mistake."
Thanks to The Descendant for reading over this for me and making sure it had something useful to say.
Featured on Equestria Daily!
Page generated in 0.295 seconds
Total duration
959 users online
482,552 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wonderful story, though how'd you get it in EQD so quickly?
4867332
I submitted it unpublished a while ago. When I saw it got accepted and wouldn't require any changes, I published it.
4867343 you can do that? I'm probably not, still working on even getting one of my stories featured. Don't suppose you could help? But either, great job as always
As a great man once said: a real man doesn't die until he's forgotten. And one of the benefits of immortality is you can make sure nobody you love is forgotten.
Well, unless you run out of memory space and start forgetting things yourself. But, details.
I've got to say, I love it.
You really know how to capture their emotions very well.
Whoa, an immortality-positive story?
Color me impressed; it's a well-written, refreshing change from all the usual woe-be-immortality fare around here.
Thumbs up!
I'm beginning to think you have it out for me. Every time I get my reading list down, you just have to go and write another story. So inconsiderate
Soooo sad
4867565
Hey, at least this one's short. Your bribe will be delivered at the usual place and time.
4867352
I do some private reviewing on the side, but my plate's full for the near future. There are good groups around here that serve that purpose, though. I can personally recommend WRITE.
It really was worth it to read this.
I liked how you addressed "the issue" without actually coming out and saying what it was.
Also, everyone always ends up marrying their parent, didn't you know that?
I love this story. So many people have such a grey outlook on immortality. Yes, it is sad. But this story shows the good in it. How even if your friends pass before you do, you can still help them live on forever..... Fucking feels, man. Fucking feels.
Really wonderful! This is exactly the kind of story I love. It's very heart-felt, and doesn't face the immortality issue with so much angst, doom, and gloom. Indeed, yours is the first "immortality based" story that I've actually enjoyed.
Dear lord this was amazing.... I cant even.... Bravo man, bravo.
You really tugged at the feels here. I applaud you for that. The ending really got me and made me have to read that part twice.
Finally, a story that doesn't go on about doom and misery just because Twilight's immortal. She's going to see ponies die whether she's immortal or not, it makes no difference. I really love how you portrayed the good part of it, to put it simple.
wait... fanfic writer who actually understands why eternity is a price worth paying?
I'm not hallucinating or something am i?
4868337 its a shame if you have immortality that you have to watch those who you love and care about age and die and only you and the next generation who were born from those who you held so close to your heart and many more generations can tell the story of the generation before and keep their names and memories alive.One can only imagine what pain an immortal being is going through after watching so many loved ones die of old age or other natural causes or tragedies.
Sweet!
This story was very well conceived and executed. Given my father's own failing health, it covered an idea which strikes a chord with me. Even if they die, you have the power to keep those you love alive just as long as you tell others about them, about who they were and what they did, what they meant to you. In this way, they will never truly die.
Oh.
Somehow I knew there'd be feels despite the lack of the Sad tag. But I love the fresh take on immortality. 
4868512
...because, of course, ordinary mortal people don't have to suffer through seeing their own friends and families die.
Because of course, it is completely impossible to eventually get on with one's life, and if you mourn someone you will never, ever, stop mourning them, never mind that they also would tell you to continue living.
Why, I'm still mourning the death of my pet turtle ten years ago, and of course it will lead me in a spiral of depression which will make my life unlivable.
Same goes for the deaths of my grandfather, or my uncle, or so on and so forth.
This story was excellent. I particularly liked the fact that Twilight kept putting off the decision; it's a very believable act, and it serves to humanize (ponynize her?) a lot.
Well, that certainly was a refreshing change in tone from most "Twilight the Immortal"-type stories. I enjoyed it.
I wonder, though, if "Romance" as a tag isn't more than a bit misleading here. Combined with the title image, you might attract or repel readers who expect this to be a Spilight story, and while the romance triggers Twilight's decision, it doesn't involve her and isn't really a part of her story. (Am I the only one who feels the need for a "Friendship" tag sometimes? Though that might be covered by "Slice of Life", considering what the show is about.)
4869065 There are other reasons why not to be immortal - I'd probably take it anyway, but I completely understand anyone who believes that death is preferable to eternal life while most everyone else dies.
One such reason is that almost (not quite, but it's more likely than not) inevitably, you'll become an anachronism. Either you'll be out of place in the future, with memories of the past that, while not necessarily overwhelming the present, at least heavily influence them such that you have a hard time fitting in; or you'll be keeping the world around you on your level. You'll have to be very good at adapting to the new present, and while you'd certainly be powerful and likely a revered member of pony society, you'll never truly be a part of the society. Unless you hide and never reveal your status as immortal. Which might be alright, I guess.
And yeah, there's the death thing. Deaths in a lifetime are probably difficult to deal with, but yeah we overcome them. But as the years fly by, and more and more people die, how many will it take for them to really weigh down on you? Will there be one final straw to break the camel's back? Which one will do the trick, if any? How many deaths can we experience (wrong word, experience implies that you're the one dying, but I don't know the right one so...) before we begin devaluing life, if we do? Do we, as humans (or ponies, as the case may be) wish to take the risk that we may someday stop seeing fellow people as people because of our status as immortals?
It's not a deal-breaker for me - I'd still pick immortality anyway, if only because immortality means more chances to do good and potentially find a more widespread form of immortality, as well as bring forward memories of the past - but it's certainly something I placed onto consideration.
(made multiple small edits, but nothing major. I didn't rewrite the entire thing while you weren't looking)
THANK YOU.
We see far, FAR too few stories that present a sensible view of immortality... They're all about how terrible it would be to see everyone you know age and die... And missing the point that without immortality YOU WILL ANYWAY - if you don't die young yourself. (I personal speculate (with only the knowledge the modal age of fanfic writers tends to be a bit younger than me) that the authors of such stories are possibly younger folks who haven't had to start to watch their loved ones die off. )
A fact that resonates especially with me at the moment, as my maternal grandfather died last week, after a steady deterioration (fortunately only seriously over the last year or so, and with his faculties intact).
Losing people to old age is a thing that will happen no matter WHAT you do, you will experience it: so unless you plan on taking the easy way out and dying young to preserve your precious feelings (easy because that just puts all the pain and pressure of dealing with loss on your family instead) then you're going to have to learn to deal with it.
So, yes, THANK YOU for a story that is council for the other side. (And for the fortuitous timing.)
Her immortality was a choice? A choice came to after careful consideration, weighing pros and cons, and eventually coming to a logical decision?
What heresy is this?!
Nice story, brother.
4869065 I agree with you I've lost alot of family members and pets over the years as well as some friends but I can't forget who they are.
I was expecting this to be a typical "Twilight is secretly Spike's mother" stories. But it turned out to be something much better.
I dunno. This was very well-written, but at this point I kinda feel like there are actually fairly many immortality-positive stories, and quite few immortality-negative ones. Maybe I just don't see them.
Maybe the immortality-negative ideas just tend to be more obvious, and so written in less thoughtful fashion. But I do think the idea of immortal Twilight is completely at odds with all the ideas of the show. It just doesn't work for me. Twilight is the Princess of Friendship. Friendships grow, and change, and even fall apart over time. They are dynamic. Immortal Princess Twilight, on the other hand, is static. She won't grow with her friends anymore, she won't share in any of their experiences. You can't really be friends with ponies who only know you as a goddess, and so Twilight might never form any real friendships ever again, except with a tiny number of other powerful immortals who might not be very friendly.
Then of course there's the bit where eventually the universe burns out and Twilight is fossilized within the heart of a dead star, still immortal, and the billions of years of her life before that point eventually shrinks down to only an infinitesimal fraction of her existence after. People don't really think 'eternity' through.
We must band together and showcase the skill it took to craft this. And hope--to every manifestation of God--weary authors understand that THIS is what writing is. THIS is how it's done. Thank you so much for sharing, you've made my morning.
Craine...
Nicely done, and a good take on the choice of immortality. It's been done before, of course, but most good ideas have.
The Romance tag, groups, and cover art threw me. I agree with 4869179 that it looks for all the world like a SpiLight story. I don't care for those, and almost skipped reading this because of that. The story isn't about romance and it plays only a minor role in Twilight's narrative. I'd call Romance a mis-tag here, which might be the only misfire in an otherwise fine piece.
Also:
Should the opening "What?" be in quotes? Or was it an internal thought?
Well, that was a pretty enjoyable read. I'd probably change the tags and the picture though, because they don't really fit the story at all.
4869362 I don't see Celestia's immortality as "no event in the universe can end her life".
And I don't think "not aging" necessarily implies the inability to connect with people that do*, and even if so it's to less extent IMO than being a freaking princess in a crystal castle tree thing, so I really don't see how the objection that it's out of step with the friendship theme of the show holds water.
*For one thing, this implies that the relationship between Twilight and Celestia is shallow. Hero worship has certainly colored their friendship but they are clearly very close.
Yes, there definitely is something to say here. I've seen good arguments for both mortality and immortality; this story presents a good one for the latter. And it's very enjoyable read, which is even more important!
That was a beautiful story.
You really strike the feels in this one.
-Spirit
It seems like cheap, fatalistic nonsense to believe Spike will have to move out of the society that brought him up just to "be with his own kind", but if he has a job to do over there and returns home often enough, I guess that changes things.
Oh, and Twilight's thing there was good, too. Yeah.
It would be quite depressing to watch almost everyone you know die off, so it's natural that that's the thing everyone jumps on when crushing an alicorn's or dragon's optimism with extended or eternal life. Acknowledging that death is part of life—and therefore part of the cycle of their relationships—seems like a simple enough solution. It's all about perspective.
*they
**their
4869856
Well, I don't think living in a big and impressive house is nearly as distancing as being a centuries- or even millenia-old force of colossal magic who might, every time she looks at you, actually be thinking of your great-great-great-great-grandmother and the fun they used to have together
Of course Twilight and Celestia's relationship isn't shallow. But it's not a friendship either. From Twilight's side, it's a relationship of abject hero worship and borderline religious devotion, and from Celestia's side it's like motherhood, with Celestia trying to raise Twilight to be the best person she can be*. In a friendship, this dynamic would be... disturbing
Thing is though, nothing we have seen anywhere in the show suggests that Celestia has any friends whatsoever, and there's plenty to suggest that everyone around her treats her with the same kind of idolization that makes a friendship impossible. The closest Celestia has to a friend is Luna, and when your best friend tried to kill you and forced you to banish her for a thousand years, you know friendship isn't your strong suit. I can't help but feel that immortal Twilight would just be walking down that same road.
*: Or, less charitably, a master manipulator directing someone else's entire life for her own private purposes, which she never actually discusses with her target.
4869362
4870135
You, my kind brony, deserve a cookie, and not a "simple cookie", but a chocolate cookie!
And you also got an awesome avatar, I'm jealous now
You are the first person in this fandom to have almost given me one reason to not consider Mortal Princess Twilight senseless!
You just have to fix those things:
Following your reasoning then Discord can't exist, because he's immortal, but he's also the
PrincesSpirit of Disharmony, and if friendship is dynamic, also is hate.Well, Lauren stated specifically that the princesses aren't goddessYes but, unlike Celestia and Luna, Twilight insists to be treated as a normal pony, and that's probably because of the "Princess of Friendship" thing.Yes, but the show is not only about friendship, just take Twilight for example: she also represents hard working, responsibility and finally self sacrifice.
Also Celestia did a pretty good job spreading harmony through Equestria for over a millennia, even if she had no friends. (well, we are assuming that last thing)
....and Twilight was supposed to become Celestia heir from the beginning, in Lauren mind!
I love this story! Not so much because it's an immortality - positive story, I've seen plenty of those. What sets it apart is that Twilight makes the choice based on her relationship with Spike, rather than her 5 pony friends. Rather than basing her decision on her friends who have lives of their own, she's not forgetting about the creature she raised from an egg, who has literally devoted his life to serving her, and who would be mostly alone without her.
Assuming Twilight doesn't become indestructible, she can always kill herself after Spike dies.
4869516 Even if it is, it should be marked in some way (I usually use italics for thoughts, and I've seen it in a lot of other people's stories).
Huh. I don't read a lot of fics like this, but this was expertly done to the point that it could possibly have been it's own episode in the show. I for one enjoyed it and found it good.
Most impressive.
4870159
Thanks, although considering your avatar, I'm not entirely sure I shouldn't read these lines in tones of withering sarcasm
My avatar is from issue 19 of the comics. Star Swirl the Bearded is best Princess.
Hmmm, not sure how I feel about this one. The story seemed to meander a bit, which I suppose fits the whole slice of life concept. The problem is, conversations happened that seemed to serve no real purpose. The stuff with Spike, while endearing, seemed... rushed, and ultimately pointless. The mane six were briefly mentioned, but not seen beyond a post card. I feel like they would be told about such an important decision as well, not instead of Spike, but certainly not left out of the discussion. Then again, this Twilight seems content to avoid things that make her uncomfortable, so maybe she'll just let her friends assume she'll die just like them. The romance tag is unneeded, and only serves to distract from the focus of the story, which is the decision.
Not a bad story, but it seemed to want to go in other directions and then just stopped before branching off into those paths.
4870135 Twilight's power in the show isn't contingent on agelessness, and as for the other thing, I guess you'd also argue that you can't be friends with people in your grandparents' age bracket?
Excellent. A story with a good and positive outlook on that choice. There aren't enough of them around here. Good job.
This was a short, but very interesting way of bringing the subject of immortality to the story. You've treated the character's personality with respect and creativity and that's what makes it a great fanfic. Great job!
4870949 That kinda rules out Celestia as one of Twilight's friends
After all Celestia is the same age as Twilight's Great I don't know how many times grandparents
No kidding.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this one. I always love a timeskip fic with a nicely developed future, and the ending message was right up my alley.
Is the Romance tag there for a very subtly hinted Twilestia? I can't quite decide if Twilight's conversation with Spike is suggesting the same for her and Celestia.