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Ponies in Your Bed11 stories ·22 members
I'd come home from work to discover my Strawberry Fanta gone, and a pony princess in my bed. She offered to share the bed with me, and after some mental deliberation, I'd agreed.
After all, an opportunity like that only comes along once in a lifetime. How bad could it be?
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Well.
This is a story that I read.
The diving board part, that hit me right in the feels.
This overall was... different. Not the typical "cuddle and fall asleep with magical horse princess". But I liked the story just because of that. :D I give it a perfect 5/7
She's a countess?
6796230
Do you now regret that decision?
6796275
I think we've all been there.
Yes! A perfect score!
6796296
For better or worse . . . probably worse. I forsee a lot of downvotes.
What wouldn't you do for a bottle of Strawberry Fanta?
At this point, I would have, in revenge, stuffed her head under the blanket to revel in her emissions' putrid glory, damn the consequences. I might even have the presence of mind to yell "DUTCH OVEN!!!" as I did so.
I would likely die in short order, but it would be totally worth it.
It's the little things.
I bet Luna doesn't fart.
Someone needs to build a pillow wall.
6796356
Hard to say; I've never had the stuff.
6796388
That's actually how Luna got banished to the moon.
Just so.
6796429
I bet Luna farts in ROYAL CANTERLOT.
6796230 Indeed.
I don't recall your blog post making any mention of the farting issue.
6796509
Odd that I left that out. Almost as if I wanted it to be a surprise to my readers
(especially since the blog post was up for 43 hours before the story was approved)
I've heard that one of the reasons horses are pretty good swimmers is because of all the gas in their guts. I've also watched enough YouTube videos to learn that horses have a biological weapon under their tail.
6796473
Seriously, getting kicked would suck. And the horn . . . it's no wonder Pinkie Pie keeps eyepatches stashed everywhere.
6796531
On re-read, it's there, but rather easy to overlook.
6796307 Okay, now I'm thinking about Anon You finally getting a chance to sleep with a pony (and even one who doesn't keep snakes in her bed!). The first part of the night seems to go all right, but then it's time to actually sleep, and...
6796474 And just like that, the flugelhorn aquires an origin story.
6796545
I thought I had included it, but then I was wondering if it was just a discussion I'd had with pre-readers on a different story.
6796546
I kind of feel bad that pretty much every "pony and human in bed" story I've ever written ends badly for the human. I mean, besides those, all of FimFic Authors are in Your Bed was essentially a tragedy. Not that I can take credit for all of it, of course. But I did set the tone. . . .
6796549
I used to play the flugelhorn. It's a very plausible origin.
I love it. it goes so good with the first story exultant work.
Why?
6796755
Thank you!
6796831
Because ocalhoun never submitted a story for FimFic Authors. And then started a contest on the one-year anniversary of Fimfic Authors. So it's all his fault.
6796474
Would that be very loudly, or very odoriferously?
Nice to know the "...in your bed" meme hasn't died yet.
6797034
Nope. And I'll make sure it keeps coming back.
Oh, biscuit
6797437
I had to do it.
6796474
I just imagined royal guards standing at stoic attention and then having something akin to a cruise ship's horn rock the castle.
They promptly lose their shit.
6797532
That's a great mental image. Probably the older guards are used to it, and they don't warn the newbies.
6797538 "You got the earplugs?"
"Mhmm. Good thing too. I heard it was quesadilla night."
"Isn't Princess Luna lactose intolerant?"
"Yep"
"Oh boy, the rookies are in for it tonight."
6797565
Maybe that's why Twilight fears quesadillas.
6797574 Now I just imagined Twilight running through the castle at full tilt, screaming bloody murder in an attempt to stop the chefs from serving the dreaded dish.
Farting Celestia. Welp, someone had to do it I guess
(someone probably already did anyway, but this is the first time I myself read it in a story)
That brushable Celestia cover art is so cute.
As for the fic itself, wouldn't First Person Protagonist Dude have bitten the bullet and bought another bed by now? Think of all the bribes he'd save!
6797674 Poor Twilight XD
I just wanted to establish that this one is no way, shape, form, or legally acceptable testimony, my fault.
This is a great thing to see in the featured box of FIM Fic at the start of the year.
Actually it's not.
6798977
It's in the feature box? Oh God, what have I done?
how to bribe a Princess? Buy her fanta
6798962
Nope, it's 100% ocalhoun's fault.
6798987
It's bad form to act surprised that clickbait made it to the box.
One of the best sequels I've ever read
You're not the first to write about this.
6798213
Yeah, apparently it's been done before: 6799831 threw in a link. Oh well, I regret nothing.
6798241
Unfortunately, I think it only comes with EqG Principal Celestia.
6798999
I think that would work.
What would ponies make of carbonated beverages, I wonder?
6799152
Heh, thanks!
6799066
People weren't supposed to read it. They were supposed to roll their eyes and say "Dammit, Biscuit it at it again."
6800307
You should know by now that we're just going to read it anyway.
Huh?
6800573
I should have known that people would read it. I should have known that some people would like it.
6800630
That sums it up nicely.
6800300
As well you shouldn't.
Well, that was disappointing. I was expecting some stupidity to crack jokes at given the story, but this really collapses under the weight of its stupidity. Some points that stuck out were him apparently having a problem with sleeping with an animal in a non-sexual way despite the fact that pets sleep with people all the time, especially in colder climates where sleeping together for warmth is important. The issue with the limbs was also silly because while the body parts you mentioned would be potential issues (a number of large birds do use their wings as weapons after all), they would almost certainly not be moving fast enough to actually hurt and all of them are easily defeated by moving in close to her belly to get inside the range of motion of the limbs. Another one that might have worked if I wasn't already annoyed was the farting which didn't make sense given the twin facts that most of the methane cows give off is burped up, not farted out, and the fact that ponies very clearly do not eat grass in the show. All in all, I expected a lot better from you.
Is this actually something that bothers people? I mean, unless you mean the other kind of sleeping. My dog used to sleep in my bed all the time and I can't say I ever felt particularly bothered by it. They're fuzzy and warm. Well, I suppose some people find it annoying, but I don't think I've ever heard of anyone caring about it beyond that.
OK, doggy farts. Those I can live without.
6805196
I could offer a worthy counterpoint, I suppose, but the truth is I was drunk when I wrote it. It was never meant to be good.
I will point out, though, that IRL horses cannot belch. Any gas that builds up in their digestive system has only one way out.
If you sleep with a horse, keep the windows open
6806536
I've always figured that in the case of MLP ponies, it's the dichotomy between the animal side and the human side. You're dealing with something that you've been told is an animal, yet at the same time it's having a conversation with you.
6807510 Well, we have seen ponies burp in the show so that clearly does not apply, but there is really no point arguing because this line fully explains the problems with the story:
6807743
That's true, and it's been implied that they can vomit, as well (which is another thing IRL horses can't do).
I do often try to lean more towards the 'actual horse' side of the spectrum for my stories, since I think it adds an extra bit of reality to stories, but of course we could both make a very long list of things that real horses can't do that MLP ponies can. Stuff like talk and fly and use magic and so forth.
I could probably do a heavy edit and make this story suck less ('suck less', by the way, is a proper literary term; I should know: I have an English minor
), but I'd rather spend my energy on a project I actually care about, like Sam and Rose.