I think it’s a pretty well-established fact that when nice people get angry, it’s one of the scariest things imaginable. That was how it felt at that moment, seeing Cornelius giving Lightwing the mother of all stink-eyes. Lightwing, however, did not look intimidated, and settled back on his hooves.
“I’m sorry to have disturbed you, sir,” he said. “If you wish, we’ll take this somewhere else so you can get back to your nap.”
Wow. It was strange how he could go from aggressive and accusing one second to civil and cordial the next.
“Do you have any idea who you’re threatening, you impertinent colt?” Cornelius asked.
“Yes, I do, but don’t worry. I have him where I want him,” replied Lightwing. “He’s a dangerous criminal seeking to destabilize the Equestrian way of life!”
“This here is Councilstallion David,” Cornelius went on, icily, “a member of the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council, employed by the princesses themselves.”
Lightwing blinked. For once, he didn’t look so smug and superior.
“Is he?” he asked. “Well, that’s-”
“I have personally reviewed several of his essays dealing with significant events in Equestria’s past,” Cornelius went on, “and found them to both be concise and considerate for the subject. Does that sound like the sort of pony who would try to take over Equestria and enslave us all?”
“Well, no,” conceded Lightwing, clearly losing his steam. “But-”
“I don’t know what science-fiction book you’ve been reading, but you are going to have to learn to distinguish between fantasy and reality,” Cornelius said, with amazing composure, while keeping his gaze firmly and sternly locked with Lightwing’s. “Princess Celestia trusts this stallion, and that should be good enough for anypony. If it still somehow isn’t satisfactory for you, we can take you to the courts and have the Princesses themselves vouch for him.”
Lightwing looked taken aback. The haughty, smug, superior attitude he had been wearing while grilling me was long gone. He looked from Cornelius to me, then back again, then drew in a deep breath, obviously trying to maintain his composure.
“This isn’t the end of it,” he told me, stiffly. “I still intend to keep my eye on you. One false step, and you’re mine.”
And with that, he turned around and went off to take another car, the note tucked back under his wing. Cornelius stood there, calm and impassive, though still glaring after Lightwing. I, for my part, was full of awe and gratitude.
“Cornelius…” I muttered. “I...thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, David,” said Cornelius, in a mollified tone. “You’re a good boy. I couldn’t sit there and let you be abused like that. The nerve of that young scoundrel!”
He settled back down to go back to sleep, but I still felt troubled. That pegasus accused me of writing that letter, for having disdain and disgust for the way Equestria was run, for seeking to take it over. How could he think I would be like that? I was still baffled by the fact that a television show based on Equestria’s life, specifically Twilight and her friends, existed. If I’d ever seen anything like that, I would definitely have remembered.
The whole thing was ridiculous. The missing page from my notebook must have been something else. I don’t know who wrote that letter, but I would rather dive face-first into a patch of poison joke than overthrow the Princesses. Comforted by this, I finally drifted back off to sleep as the train rolled on.
***
I was deep in a dream full of pieces of torn paper flying around me like a swarm of aggressive birds, when I was shaken awake by a hoof on my shoulder. With a snort, I sat up, readjusting my skewed glasses.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Just after 1,” said Cornelius. “The food trolley came by, so I got you this, in case you were hungry when you woke up.”
He handed me a bagel.
“Thanks,” I said, taking a bite out of it. “Are we there yet?”
“Nearly. You should take a look.”
I looked out the window, swallowed hard, and felt my jaw fall open.
The plains around us were still covered in snow, but up ahead, there was no snow at all. A hilly, grassy valley stretched out before us. Sticking out of the ground like stalagmites were great spires of red, blue, and purple crystal. Standing tall amongst a midst of these was an enormous, blue tower-like building, reminding me of the Eiffel Tower. Even from this distance, the whole area seemed to be effused with a crystalline glow.
“Sparklerrific indeed,” was all I could muster.
“What’s that?” Cornelius asked.
“Er, just a word a friend told me,” I said, shaking my head to regain my focus. “I’ve never seen anyplace like it.”
“Neither have I,” said the old donkey. “And I’ve seen many things in my travels.”
The train finally pulled to a stop at a station about half a mile from the Empire. Cornelius and I got up and followed the few ponies stepping out, my bagel long finished. Lightwing was nowhere to be seen. Thank goodness.
As the two of us got closer (Cornelius was surprisingly quick-hoofed for an old donkey), the crystals sticking out of the ground seemed to get shinier and shinier. Two red ones stood as a kind of gate, with three diamond-shaped gems floating between the tips. A path wound its way from them straight to the Empire itself, so that was what we followed.
Finally, we came within the boundaries themselves. Every building seemed to be made of crystal, and even the streets seemed to have a glass-like sheen. But what was most striking of all were the ponies. They all looked like Earth ponies, but their coats gleamed like polished gemstones, so that they all seemed to glow, and, unless my eyes were mistaken, they were semi-transparent as well. So these were the Crystal Ponies.
“Magnificent,” breathed Cornelius, looking about. “Simply magnificent!”
Soon enough, we found ourselves heading toward the blue tower-like building, which I now saw must be the castle of the Empire. Doors leading into it were made in the ‘legs’ of it. What looked like a snowflake formed an emblem just beneath it. Above this, floating between two vertical spikes, one of which extended from the castle’s underside and the other from the ground, was a blue, heart-shaped gem. If the naming of things continued to follow the same pattern, that must be the Crystal Heart.
“Welcome, Dave, Cornelius!”
I looked up. A pony was galloping right towards us. I soon recognized her as Cadence as she came to a halt right in front of us, beaming.
“It’s so good to see you again!” she said.
“It’s good to see you too, Cadence,” I said, bowing just to be safe.
Cornelius bowed as low as his old legs would allow.
“Your servant, princess,” he said, humbly.
Cadence smiled, if possible, even wider. From behind her, I could see three more ponies approaching. Two were Princess Luna and Minister Ironmane (Celestia was nowhere to be seen), and the third was a unicorn stallion who I assumed was Twilight’s brother and Cadence’s husband, Shining Armor.
He was a tall, strongly-built stallion, almost as big as Big Macintosh. His coat was pure white, with a mane and tail striped with two different shades of blue, and even his eyes were blue. His cutie mark resembled a shield with what looked like the same six-pointed star in Twilight’s mark in the middle. He had a genial, benevolent face, the kind you’d like to see in a good friend.
“Princess Luna, where’s Princess Celestia?” I asked.
“She decided to remain in Canterlot to watch the castle,” said Luna. “She has handled the duties of two princesses before, after all.”
“Oh. Well, I suppose that makes sense.”
I bowed to Luna, but wasn’t sure how to show the correct amount of respect to Shining Armor, as he was a prince and Captain of the Royal Guard. So first, I bowed to him, saying ‘Your Highness’, and then saluted, saying ‘Captain’. However, he merely chuckled.
“No need to be so formal,” he said, in a very mellow voice that wasn’t quite like a surfer-dude, but pretty close. “Just Shining Armor is fine. And you’re Dave, I take it? Twilie’s told me a lot about you.”
‘Twilie’? Was that seriously his nickname for her? That...that was just adorable.
“Has she?” I asked, trying not to laugh, lest he take it the wrong way.
“She says you’re a good friend, and a hard worker,” said Shining Armor. “Pulling all-nighters for the council. She’s sucked you into her way of doing homework, huh?”
“Ah, well,” I said, modestly. “She’s said nothing but good things about you, too.”
Shining grinned.
“Well, now that you both have arrived,” said Minister Ironmane, “we can get down to business.”
“But first,” said Cadence, “why don’t we show you to your rooms?”
“That’d be wonderful, Princess,” said Cornelius.
With that, with the princesses, prince, and minister leading the way, the six of us made for the castle itself, while I used every ounce of willpower I had to keep myself from looking up and making myself dizzy.
***
The architecture within the castle was quite beautiful, and remarkably pristine after 1,000 years. I didn’t want to contradict Sure Shot, but, based on what I’d seen when we arrived, the Crystal Empire could qualify as the ‘crown jewel’ of Equestria. It was shiny all over, and practically made of jewel-material, after all.
The rooms where Cornelius and I would be staying were very cozy. They had large beds, velvet hangings, and crystal-sculpted ornamentations. Not a speck of dust anywhere, either. I really hated to admit it, but King Sombra’s curse had at least preserved everything within the Empire.
After that, as part of our official business, we were given a tour of the Empire itself. I fell into talk with Shining Armor as we went. He talked about some of the fun times he and Twilight shared when they were younger, stuff that warmed my heart like a heated oven, like them tracking down imaginary monsters together for Twilight to study. He talked about how he’d always wanted to be part of the royal guard ever since he was a colt, and had distinguished himself so well that his superior, Sergeant Thunderous, had recommended him to be promoted to the rank of captain.
It was interesting to hear about the kinds of things he faced as a member of the royal guard, let alone as the captain. It seemed that, despite Equestria’s normally peaceable atmosphere, there were still forces that threatened the country’s way of life, such as the Changelings who attacked en masse at his and Cadence’s own wedding. He deeply regretted being duped by the queen so easily, and even more so that he had exploded at Twilight when she tried to warn him about her suspicions, but it seemed like they’d made amends since then, which was good.
Speaking of the wedding, I asked how he and Cadence had met, if it wasn’t too personal. Here, Shining Armor looked a bit sheepish and just said they’d met in high school, when Cadence was already working as Twilight’s go-to foalsitter. I couldn’t imagine what was embarrassing about that, but Cadence had a sly smile on her face, which seemed to say she knew something Shining Armor wasn’t about to disclose. All she said was that if I saw him back then, I wouldn’t believe it was the same stallion. What, was she implying he was a geek or something when he was a teenager? This guy? Puh-lease.
After the castle, our tour took us out into the streets, and past many buildings, structures, and landmarks. The sun dazzled against the surfaces of the buildings. It was amazing how much one could make and mold out of pure crystal. Plus, we could see more Crystal Ponies milling about, and some Crystal Foals playing with Crystal Sheep. As we went, Cadence and Shining Armor filled us in on what little empirical history they had learned from their time safeguarding the place and being around the Crystal Ponies, though there was still much to catch up on.
“And speaking of,” said Cadence, as we reached the door of an official-looking building made of brownish crystal.
She opened the door, and what should meet my eyes?
Papers.
Just stacks and stacks of official-looking papers sitting on dusty-looking tables.
“1,000 years of being off the face of the map leaves quite a backlog,” said Shining Armor.
I already knew where this was heading. My writing hand was beginning to tingle unpleasantly.
***
When I imagined coming to see the Crystal Empire, this was definitely not part of what I had in mind. Then again, this was what most of my position as a delegate amounted to: lots of documents and bureaucratic busywork. The only consolation I had was that Cornelius, Ironmane, and the princesses were just as swamped as I was, but then again, they had several years’ more experience in this field than I did, so this was less of an unpleasant surprise to them, and more of an expected routine.
The papers included lists of imports and exports sent to and from the Empire (such as crystal berries and a special mineral used for therapeutic mud baths), needs for financial aid, benefits of remaining close friends, and so on. To be fair, it was mostly informational mumbo-jumbo to keep on file for future reference, not necessitating essay-level writing, though I did need a dictionary to understand some of the jargon it threw at me, and a lot of it required signatures. As my hand was already tender from spending so many hours working on my speech, and copying notes for Ironmane, this was not a pleasant experience. If I didn’t develop carpal tunnel syndrome by the end of this, I would be very much surprised…
However, I started to draw a blank when it came to documents about trade and export. It was asking for my signature and input as though I were the potentate of an Equestrian settlement. I was in no position of authority back home, and my only Equestrian territory was Ponyville. What was I supposed to say about opening trade between the Empire and ‘my’ territory?
“Something wrong, Dave?” Cadence asked, as she came up to me.
“Er, sort of,” I said. “I don’t have a connection with home right now, so I can’t really negotiate trade agreements between the Empire and Earth right now. And I don’t mean this Earth, I mean the Earth I come from. Know what I mean?”
Cadence nodded, though I couldn’t help wondering if she actually understood what I’d just said.
“Ponyville’s the only ‘turf’ I have, so to speak,” I went on. “I guess I could arrange something with Mayor Mare.”
“That’d be just fine,” said Cadence. “In the meantime, we can help you draw up some contracts for future review.”
“Thanks, Cadence. Having Twilight help me with this stuff has been really beneficial, but without her, I feel kinda lost. I’ve never had to deal with this stuff before.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” said Cadence, as she levitated a quill and started writing on a fresh piece of paper. “Some of the best of us feel a bit lost without a helping hoof guiding us along.”
I saw her cast a look in Shining Armor’s direction. He caught it, smiled, and turned back to his own work. From there, the rest of the afternoon passed in silence, save for rustling papers, the scratching of quills and pens, and the occasional unconscious sigh.
***
“Hand...pain...ow…”
It was evening. The last signature had been signed. The last paper was whisked away. We were finished. I was tired, hungry, and aching. Just twitching my fingers was an effort. This was why I preferred keyboards to pencil and paper.
“Excellent, everypony,” said Cadence. “I realize how exhausting this must have been for all of you, so please, join us in the banquet hall for a well-deserved feast.”
She, Shining Armor, Luna, and Ironmane looked none the worse for wear. Even Cornelius looked less tired than I did, and he did most of the writing by mouth. They were all much more used to this than I was. I envied them for it. Stiffly, I followed everyone out of the office building. It was already night, and the moon was hanging high above. Darn it, I missed Luna turning the day to night.
Dinner was excellent that night. We were waited on by Crystal Ponies who brought rich-smelling, wonderful-tasting dishes from the castle’s kitchens. The ponies really seemed to have recovered the full use of their respective talents after being put into limbo for 1,000 years. Then again, it probably didn’t even feel like that to them. For all I knew, it might have felt like it was just yesterday to them. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.
After dinner, Cornelius and I were shown back to our suites, where we’d spend the night before heading home again tomorrow. A warm wave went through my body at the thought of returning to Ponyville and my pony friends. It would feel so good to be back.
I was stopped at the door by a familiar regal voice.
“Sir Dave?”
I turned. Princess Luna was standing right behind me.
“I forgot to mention earlier that Celestia and I received your speech,” she said. “Once we’ve looked over it properly, we will send it back with our feedback. Does that sound agreeable?”
“Of course, Your Highness,” I said.
I made a short bow to her, and she smiled.
“By the by, I felt I should tell you: I’ve seen my fair share of junk food dreams, but yours from last night was...something.”
Oh, she saw that one, too? Must have been quite the show for her.
“Good night, then, Sir Dave.”
“Good night, Princess.”
She walked off, and I went into my suite, ready for a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, I’d be Ponyville-bound at last.
When I received the notice that this had updated, I was a little scared to be perfectly honest, considering what happened in the previous chapter. But when I saw the title and read the chewing out Cornelius gave, I relaxed.
Dave finally got to meet Shining Armor. Yay!
more?
I have a feeling that his slumber is gonna include a slow restoration of his memories, that paper being the starting point to it.^^
Lightwing got put in his place! Muahaha. . . . Of course, he'll be back.
Such a heartwarming chapter. I loved it. Just a few things I took away from this chapter: Cornelius is awesome, Twilie (lol), and junk food dreams. . .
~Melly~
I'm glad to see the continuation of the 'main conflict' in the story. As great as Dave's Equestrian Adventures are, it is important for every story to have an end... lest you end up with something like SpongeBob. I'm not implying it'd ever get that bad, but I'm happy that Dave's past is starting to catch up.
Another lovely chapter, by the way! I loved seeing Cornelius put that featherbrain in his place, and Shining's always good to have around! I also like how you had the couple interact! It's all so well put together. Tie in a moment of Luna lightening the mood, and it's a wrap.
For all I like to gripe about how long the story's been going on, it's still a wonderful read, and I'll be happily awaiting the next chapter!
Cornelius for best mule of the series!!!
Dear princesses... so much paperwork to do. I do not envy him for having all that.
As for the chewing out, that was brilliant. Cornelius is not someone you want to cross, nor can you refute. Of course Suspicions would be right about how Lightwing will probably show up again to stir things up. In what ways however? I do not know... but it will be interesting to see how it goes.
I bet all that paperwork they got through, was the application forms to request the actual forms to start requesting the information they need to actually start filling out the forms they have yet to request.
How bad are things going to get for Dave, as in puppetmaster? Such as, he signs a trade agreement for Ponyville, which turns out to mean a Minimum number of bushels of apples a year, but then someone starts altering Dashs workload and crew manifestos so as to restrict Sweet Apple Acres ability to grow the needed crops?
TL:DR Is someone hitting Dave with Economic Warfare?
Would that letter be Information Warfare?
Poor Dave, all that paperwork! But at least that uppity swine Lightwing got put in his place.
Also, I wasn't aware that Sergeants could promote a soldier to anything above their own rank. In fact, I always thought that promotion and demotion was the job of an officer. *thinks* Meh, what do I know?
6222363 The military isn't my speciality I changed it so that his sarge recommended him to be promoted. Would that make more sense?
6222685
That sounds a lot better.
(Sorry if it sounded like I was having a dig at you.)
6222847 Nah, it's all good.
Suck a fat one, Lightwing! Also, Dave in the Empire!
Best bit o' en'rtainment I seen this side o' 'Questria... an' I know Doc Whooves pers'n'ly! Can't wait t' see wot ye go' in store fer us next, Lad.
A quick resolution to what may have escalated to a serous problem. But still the suspense remains, and, as your dialogue stated, I have a feeling this isn't over. Lightwing still has the journal page, and we still don't know who he really is (or even what he looks like for that matter). What sort of trouble can he bring for our good human?
Once again, the chapter you bring is a detailed and thought-provoking addition to a wonderful growing story. The description used for the Crystal Empire was spot on, Cornelius showed profound spirit and character in his defense of Dave, and Shining Armor was introduced well. Your mention of him and Cadence meeting in High School was a lovely reference; I read the comic too.
Dave finds out that being a council member isn't all meetings or visiting exotic locations. He's gotten a taste of the paperwork, and I wouldn't be surprised if he does feel a writer's cramp by next chapter. Good job on expanding the duties of Dave's position; it helps us, the readers, gain a fuller idea of his job and his new responsibilities. So far, I say he's handling it reasonably well.
But there's still that one thing that's now hanging over Dave's head like a sword of Damocles. . . . That journal page and its words will play a crucial role later, I think. Now that Dave knows about the "Show", will his memories begin to reawaken? Will it conflict with his new personality and his experience? Will he continue having dreams full of flying pages, and will they expand to other strange images, like people gathering to celebrate multicolored ponies?
And Lightwing is still a potential problem.
In the past, Dave has always had somepony there to cause him a little stress during his stay in Equestria. (Good job with that conflict! ) First was Minister Ironmane and his suspicions of who Dave was and what he was doing in Equestria in the first place. Being the first human to appear after over a thousand years isn't likely to go unnoticed, or without at least one pony thinking something's amiss. Over time, however, Ironmane's character was revealed to be simply professional and with concern to Celestia. He isn't coldhearted, just careful, serious, and vigilant, and he's come to see Dave as someone respectable, even capable of contributing to Equestria and its people.
Then came Dolly Tribune and her slanderous stories, perhaps not done out of hate or suspicion, but they were still troublesome. Thankfully Dave, Derpy, and their other friends were able to put a stop to it before things got out of hand, and there was a good chance they might have if Dolly continued in her Rita Skeeter-like fashion. Again, she wasn't an evil villain to Dave, just somepony who made the wrong choices when it came to her profession.
Then we got a glimpse of Professor Highbrow. He only had a few paragraphs, but still had a lasting impact as he influenced Dave to find out about humans in Equestria's past. Not much to say about him, but there may be in future chapters.
And now there's Lightwing. Something tells me there may be more to this resentful pegasus than mere blustering accusation. Does he or other pegasus ponies have a more detailed knowledge of humans in Equestria's past? Where has Lightwing gone, and will he spread word of Dave's supposed plot to overthrow Equestria? What will happen if he preaches this in Ponyville?
Oooh...conflict can be so enticing....
Thanks for the update! Something tells me things are about to get interesting. I can hardly wait to hear Dave's speech, as well as what Lightwing may stir up. Whatever happens, though, I know Pinkie and all the friends Dave has made will be there for him. Or...will they and Dave question everything they ever knew?
Again, thanks and see you next time!
Sincerely
~Scholar57
6221026
Welp. That guy got shut down.
As a famous game defense lawyer keep saying: "Take that!" Lightwing is going to be trouble down the road, but for now, that was a nice scolding he got. Unfortunately, what came afterward is pretty much everyone worse nightmare: paperwork. Ouch... At least he got to meet Shining Armor and a little bit of the Crystal Empire.
C&Cs:
“She’s said nothing but good about you, too.”
> I think it is okay as is, but it might be better if you add 'things' after 'good'.
“Hand...pain...Ow…”
> Unless 'Ow' is a new sentence, which require the appropriate space before it, you may want to lower the casing on said word.
*high pitched* Cornelioooooo~
Light Wing is going to be a problem. A big one. He still has the paper. Dave actually did write that stuff. Just before he'd actually been in Equestria for any period of time. All Light Wing needs is a sample of Dave's other writing (considering what happened in this chapter with all the paperwork, and just overall the amount of writing Dave does, there are plenty of samples to choose from) and have an expert compare them. Or publish the letter in a newspaper. Or both.
That guy's gonna cause trouble.
With that, with the princesses, prince, and minister leading the way, the six of us made for the castle itself, while I used every ounce of willpower I had to keep myself from looking up and making myself dizzy.
Why?
"Pinkie, you said it was 'sparkler-ific', but it doesn't look much like her..."