Exactly what it sounds like. You have a ship, and I'll write a little story about it for you. Simple, eh?
So here's how it works. All of the stories in here will be short one-shots, usually between 100-500 words. If you want me to write one involving one of your ships, comment with details. Please provide the ship name as well as a one or two word prompt such as 'book' or 'cookie'. Then I'll write the story, post it, and, er... hopefully provide some entertainment. You guys are allowed up to three ships per new batch of chapters I post. ;) UPDATE: Please see my author note from Chapter 4 BEFORE you give me any prompts. Thank you! Enjoy! (Oh, and no mature requests, please.)
CURRENTLY NOT TAKING ANY PROMPTS WHILE I WORK ON FINISHING THE PROMPTS I ALREADY HAVE. This will be updated when I am free to take prompts again.
Um.... not going to select a cast of main characters for this one because... impossible.
Trenderhoof cleared his throat. "I'm moving to Ponyville! Being the most interesting pony in Equestria is exhausting. I want to leave my exotic, exciting life behind and live on a farm!"
"WHAT?!" Applejack and Rarity exclaimed simultaneously.
Trying to appear calm, Applejack let out a forced chuckle. "Well, that's real nice, but Ah sure hope ya weren't thinkin' o' Sweet Apple Acres."
The tall stallion deflated in an instant. "Oh," he muttered, crestfallen.
Great. Ah made him sad. Applejack's eyes darted shiftily as she attempted to find a way out of this situation. "Uh, look, yore a fine pony, but, uh, well, Ah'm, uh..." She took a deep breath. There was nothing for it but to tell the truth and hope that he understood. "Ah'm taken."
Trenderhoof's pupils dilated. "Buh..."
"Meanin', Ah got a super-hot marefriend who's gonna come in here an' kick yore flank if she sees ya droolin' after me," Applejack finished with a tiny smile as Rarity smirked next to her.
Rainbow Dash suddenly popped out of nowhere. "You got THAT right, babe!"
Thud. A rain of apples and a screaming pegasus crashed to the ground from the branches of the second-to-last apple tree in the second-to-last row of the East Orchard.
Applejack didn't even blink. This was a daily occurrence. "Nappin' in mah trees again, huh?" she asked, attempting to look ferocious but failing to hold back her grin.
Rainbow Dash wistfully eyed the mound of fuzzy blankets and pillows that was still perched in the tree. "Well, I was tired," she grumbled, trying to look pitiful and simultaneously distract Applejack from the lame excuse she'd just given by foalishly rubbing her eyes.
Applejack huffed a laugh and bent down to give her marefriend a quick kiss on the cheek, her choppy blonde bangs tickling Rainbow's muzzle. "Aww, sugarcube, if yore tired y'all can jus' go on up t' mah bedroom an' take a nap. Ah won't mind. What's so great 'bout sleepin' in a tree, anywho?"
Rainbow flushed. "It's great because you're the one who comes to wake me up," she muttered sullenly, embarrassed to be getting all mushy. "I never get to see you during the day otherwise. You're too busy working."
Her forehead creased in a worried frown, Applejack sank to the ground and placed a tentative hoof on Rainbow's withers. "Is that really how ya feel? That ya never see me?"
She sighed. "Yeah. I know you have to run the whole farm, but... I don't even remember how long ago it was that we got to spend more than an hour together."
Applejack swept off her hat and clasped it to her chest, looking apologetic. "Dash, Ah'm awful sorry. Ah didn't realize it had been that long. Ah guess Ah did get a bit carried away with mah work." Her eyes lit up. "But Ah know jus' how t' make it up t' ya." With a loving smile, she reached out and turned Dash's chin towards her. "Ah got two hours with yore name on 'em."
The prismatic pegasus perked up at once. "Really? Two whole hours? You don't have any work to do?"
"Of course Ah have work to do. But... Ah think yore more important," Applejack whispered, capturing her marefriend's lips in a tender kiss. "So c'mon. Whatcha wanna do with me?"
"Oh, I think you know exactly what I wanna do with you," Rainbow purred seductively, tracing her wingtip along Applejack's flank as the cowpony blushed profusely. "But, um... we'll try to keep it PG in case Apple Bloom turns up. We'll reschedule this for tonight instead."
Applejack gave up on regaining any of her dignity and instead responded to the pegasus' advances with a gentle nip on Rainbow's most sensitive feathers. "Sounds good t' me, darlin'. So, uh, what do ya wanna do right now, then?"
A devilish glint twinkled in Rainbow Dash's eyes. "I want to get back to my nap. But this time, I want you to be there."
Applejack thought for a while as her marefriend watched her anxiously, her tail flicking back and forth over Rainbow's rump. It would feel strange to nap during a workday, and her family would tease her to no end if they found out, but... "Ya know what?" she finally decided. "Ah'm in. Ah reckon Ah already promised ya mah time an' Ah can't go back on it."
"Yes!" Rainbow whooped gleefully, pumping her hoof in the air thrilled that Applejack would finally get to experience one of her favorite pastimes. She swooped forwards and gave the grinning farmpony a sloppy kiss. "You're the best, AJ!" Still crowing with joy, the pegasus flared her wings and shot into the sky, performing a few casual loop-de-loops before settling back into her nest of blankets. "Come on come on come on! Naptime awaits!"
"Hold yore horseshoes, sugarcube," Applejack chuckled patiently. "Ah'm a-comin'." She stood up and clambered easily up the tree, her powerful hooves making quick work of the climb. With a grunt of exertion, she scaled the final branch and slid into the blankets next to Rainbow, peering down at her ground below. "Whew. Feels weird bein' so high."
"To an Earth pony, maybe. To a pegasus, this ain't nothin'," Rainbow bragged, preening her feathers. Clearly, some of Applejack's language was rubbing off on her. "Now goodnight." She dropped her head onto AJ's shoulder, wrapped all four of her hooves around her supple body, and started snoring loudly, inadvertently producing some adorable whistling sounds that she would never admit to making if somepony asked her.
Always astounded by her marefriend's ability to fall asleep whenever and wherever she pleased, Applejack shook her head fondly and gently brushed her muzzle along the pegasus's polychromatic mane. "Nighty night, sugarcube," she murmured warmly, tipping her hat over her eyes to block the daylight. Lulled by the gentle whisper of the wind in her ears and Rainbow's warm body pressed against her own without an inch of space left between them, Applejack was asleep and snoring softly within minutes.
***
Big Mac frowned as he beheld the second-to-last apple tree in the second-to-last row of the East Orchard, which Applejack had left half unbucked. His sister was usually more thorough than that.
Speaking of Applejack, where was the gal? Mac hadn't seen her in a couple of hours. She was probably off gallivanting with that lazy pegasus she had for a marefriend again.
Mac shrugged resignedly, his muscles rippling. She'd come back eventually. In the meantime, he'd just have to buck the other half of the tree himself. He turned around and shot out his enormous hind legs, bucking the tree with a resounding crack.
"Gaaaaaaaah!" An orange Earth pony and a blue pegasus fell out of the tree, flailing madly, and impacted with the grass, a horde of apples bouncing on their heads and rolling away.
So Mac's theory had been right.
The big stallion shook his head and raised an eyebrow, sighing heavily. "Do Ah really wanna know what y'all were doin' up there?"
"Uh..." From her comprising position on the ground underneath a deeply shamefaced Rainbow, Applejack gulped and awkwardly ran a hoof through her mussed, leaf and twig-covered mane and tail, doing her best to hide a suspicious-looking bite mark on her neck that Rainbow later swore up and down she'd done in her sleep. Which nopony, including Rainbow herself, believed. "Nope?"
"Hi Twi-Twi!" A pair of pink hooves slipped over Twilight Sparkle's eyes, as the pony they belonged to planted a smacking kiss on the alicorn's forehead. "Guess who?"
"I have absolutely no idea," Twilight answered dryly. However, she was unable to maintain her stern facade for long, and turned around to give her marefriend a kiss. "Hi, Pinks."
The party pony plopped to the ground and stared expectantly at Twilight. "Hi! So what's the answer?"
"Um... you haven't asked me a question yet?"
Pinkie smacked her forehead. "Oh, right! I forgot. Okay, here's the question: Pretend that you’re stuck in a magical room with only two exits. Through the first exit is a room made from a big magnifying glass, and the blazing hot sun will fry you into a melted gooey puddle. Through the second door is a room with a big meany scary fire-breathing dragon. Which door do you go through?"
Twilight frowned. "I would just use my magic to teleport out."
Pinkie gasped dramatically and threw herself across Twilight's body, knocking them both to the floor. "Noooooo! That's cheating! You have to pick a door!"
Twilight's eyes crinkled as she stared into her marefriend's pleading blue eyes. "Fine." She thought for a while, running through various mental scenarios and calculating probabilities at lightning speed. "Well, I guess I would pick the door with the dragon. That way I'd have a chance of overpowering him with my magic or convincing him to leave me alone."
Pinkie shook her head fondly. "Silly Twi-Twi. You should pick the door with the magnifying glass - all you have to do is wait for the sun to set!" She squeezed the alicorn into a tight hug that left her gasping for breath and then shot to her hooves. "Well, I gotta go! Mrs. Cake wants me. I'll see you tonight!" She winked mischievously and darted away.
Twilight stared after Pinkie Pie with her mouth open. Somehow, she hadn't thought of that possibility. "Well, I guess that's lateral thinking if I ever heard it," she murmured with a rueful chuckle. "Maybe I should ask Pinkie for help with my book of logic puzzles more often
Sweetie jumped and turned to stare hard at her innocent-faced pegasus friend. "Where did you hear that word?"
Scootaloo shrugged innocently. "Apple Bloom mentioned it when she was talking about Applejack the other day."
Sweetie Belle's eyes widened. "Whoa. Applejack's a fillyfooler?"
"I guess. But what is it?"
"Well," the unicorn filly hedged, flushing, "it's, um... well, Rarity says it's a 'derogatory term', whatever that means..."
"That's not helpful," Scootaloo complained. "I mean, what is it?"
"It's, um - oh, look, why don't I just show you..." Without warning, Sweetie Belle leaned forwards and gave Scoots a quick peck on the lips.
She'd intended it to be a mere demonstration, but on second thought, it felt kinda good... Her heart thumping out of her chest, the unicorn wrapped her hooves around her friend and pressed their lips deeper, only bothering to come up for air several seconds later. "T-there," she stammered, still in shock at her own audacity. "D-does that answer your question?"
Scootaloo stared at her in open-mouthed awe and then broke into a grin, her wings flaring open slightly. "Can we try that again?"
Big Mac x Tank - 'Strong, Silent Type' - The Hybrid Changeling
Big Mac sat on top of Sweet Apple Acres' tallest hill, staring into the gleaming summer sunset. Perched rather comically atop his hulking red figure was a placid young tortoise with helicopter blades attached to his shell. As per usual whenever she went on a date with Applejack, Rainbow Dash had left Tank behind in the care of her marefriend's big brother.
Mac sighed contentedly, his thick jaw working on a blade of wheat, and reached around to give Tank a gentle pat. "Enjoyin' th' view, little buddy?"
Tank's face slowly creased in a smile, but he said nothing. Which was expected, because he was a tortoise.
Mac chuckled deep in his throat. He sometimes felt more comfortable around the tortoise than he did other ponies. "You an' me, we're both th' strong, silent type, eh?"
Tank rubbed his nose against Mac's mane in an obviously pleased manner.
Smiling, the powerful stallion scooped Tank into his hooves and brought him up to his muzzle to give him what was, in his mind, no more than a brotherly kiss on the forehead. Unfortunately, his hooves slipped and the tortoise's face grazed against his lips.
Mac froze, panicked.
Even more unfortunately, he had picked the worst time possible to make such a mistake.
"YO!" a raspy voice shouted, accompanied by a blur of rainbow and the screeching sound of somepony sliding to a very abrupt stop. Rainbow Dash had come back to the farmhouse to pick up a bow tie and was now finding herself facing a very different scene than what she had expected. "What the hell are you doing to my tortoise?!"
Discord x Starlight Glimmer - 'Primordials' - AkumaKami64
"Discord? How old are you?" Starlight Glimmer asked from her comfortable position wrapped inside Discord's coiled tail.
"Old enough to all the ways to make you scream in pleasure," he murmured in a sultry tone, caressing her spine with his lion paw.
A smile graced her face as she leaned up to give him a kiss. "Very romantic. But seriously, how old are you?"
Discord sighed as he prepared to answer her question. He held up his paw and began counting his claws. "One, two, three, four." He stopped and stared expectantly at his marefriend.
"Four... years?" She scratched her head.
Discord rolled his eyes. "No, silly. Four billennia! And yes, that is a word! Look it up in the dictionary." He snapped his claws, and a musty tome entitled 'Discord's Dictionary' dropped onto the ground from nowhere. "Now, why did you want to know?"
Starlight chewed her lip, looking nervous. "Well... what if I told you that I was secretly an immortal being from another planet who came to Equestria six eons ago while it was still developing to learn more about different types of magic?"
Discord's face split in a toothy grin as he zeroed in on the one part of her monologue that had proven surprising to him. "You mean, you're almost as old as I am?"
"Um... yes?" She shifted guiltily. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just kind of thought you wouldn't like it."
"Are you kidding?" Discord whooped. "This is great! We can be primordial beings together! What fun! And, may I add, you are looking simply stunning for your age," he finished with a roguish grin.
Starlight blushed. "Oh, stop it."
"Make me," he purred.
"Happily." Starlight leaned forward and [the following content was deleted due to its explicit nature
Twilight Sparkle x Nightmare Moon - 'Spoils of Victory' - AkumaKami64
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE! WHERE ART THOU?" Nightmare Moon's imposing regal voice boomed throughout the shrouded halls of her great palace, built upon the ruins of Celestia's old castle.
"Coming, coming!" The alicorn, who ruled as princess alongside the Princess of the Night, burst into the throne room. "I was just taking stock of our spoils of victory from our takeover of Saddle Arabia."
"And?" Nightmare Moon promoted.
"And we raided enough gold to build three more palaces," Twilight crowded jubilantly, trotting over to the throne where her marefriend reclined lazily.
Nightmare Moon cackled with glee. "Verily, thy hast done well, my loyal marefriend. Bequeath upon me a kiss before thy retirest to thy chambers, for I expect thou art tired from thy money-counting."
"With pleasure," Twilight purred, wrapping her hooves around Nightmare Moon's neck and capturing her lips in a slow, passionate kiss, groaning with happiness as the tall alicorn reciprocated. "Oh, betraying Celestia and all of my friends to be with you was so worth it."
"Chryssy, I have a gift for you," Discord murmured in a singsong voice, appearing out of nowhere and wrapping his mismatched arms around the changeling queen's neck.
"Is that so, Dissy?" she murmured back, her hole-filled hooves sliding around his neck as she embraced him.
He pouted. "But I won't give it to you if you keep calling me that."
Chrysalis's eyes crackled with annoyance. "Fine." In an instant, her tone changed to sultry sweetness. "So what did you get me?"
Beaming, Discord snapped his claws and a crown made of some kind of swirling black metal dropped onto his lover's head. "I got you a crown that has all the souls of your enemies absorbed into it!" he declared cheerfully. "Aren't I wonderful?"
Chrysalis sighed with contentment. "Awwww, that's so sweet. You really do know how to make a girl feel royal."
Twilight Sparkle x Adagio - 'Co-empresses' - tinmanbrony
Applejack groaned and placed her hands over her eyes. This game of team checkers was almost certainly going to end in miserable defeat for her. "Dash, darlin', Ah told ya not t' make that move! Now they can take three of our pieces!"
"What's life without a little risk?" the athletic girl countered, trying to pretend that she'd known what she was doing the whole time. "This checkers game was getting boring. I had to do something to liven things up!"
"Yes, but at the expense of three of your pieces?" Twilight Sparkle asked, somewhat rhetorically, from the other end of the table as she scooped up one of her checkers pieces and hopped it across the board. "Look, now you let us make our first -"
"QUEEN!" Adagio shrieked, almost dancing with glee. "WE HAVE OUR FIRST QUEEN! TWILIGHT, WE'RE GONNA BE CO-EMPRESSES OF THE CHECKERS BOARD TOGETHER!"
Twilight sighed and shook her head amusedly as she regarded her teammate and girlfriend. "For the last time, Dagi. It's called a king."
"Mhmmm..." Soarin brushed his muzzle against Rainbow's from his position beneath the polychromatic pegasus's outstretched body. "I love you, babe." The cloud they were lying on shifted beneath him as he wrapped his strong arms around her lithe figure.
"Ditto," she murmured sleepily into his neck, breathing in the tangy, electric scent of his dark mane. "But, um..." her stomach rumbled, and she huffed a sheepish chuckle. "I'm kinda lovin' the idea of some food a little more right now."
Soarin smirked. "You know, I'd take offense at that if I weren't so hungry myself."
"And that's why I love you," Rainbow grinned, raising her head to give him a kiss. "You wanna go bug AJ for some apple pie until she gets so annoyed she starts throwing them at us?"
"You read my mind." Soarin rolled over and got to his hooves, ruffling his wings. "Let's -"
"Race ya there!" Whooping with devilish glee, Rainbow zipped into the air and spiraled away, flying almost faster than the eye could see.
Soarin grinned and darted after her although he knew that she would beat him due to her self-granted head start. "Cheater."
Rainbow Dash raised a cocky eyebrow at her reflection in the hotel bathroom mirror and nodded in satisfaction. She still looked as awesome as she had when she'd first joined the Wonderbolts eight years ago.
Grinning fondly as memories of receiving her acceptance letter in the mail permeated her thoughts, Rainbow left the bathroom and trotted back to her bed. Her smile fading, she plopped down onto her bed and crossed her hooves with a grumpy sigh. She had absolutely nothing to do until her Wonderbolts show tomorrow, and she'd already explored all the parts of Manehattan near her hotel yesterday. Maybe she could just call in some pizza and binge watch television until she fell asleep.
All of a sudden, a timid knock sounded on the door. Frowning, Rainbow perked up her ears; she hadn't been expecting any company. "Who is it?"
"Um, w-well, I heard you were nearby and thought I could come see you, it's been so many years..." a slightly raspy voice responded nervously from the other side of the door. "I-it's Scootaloo."
Dash gasped. "Scoots?" Without hesitation, she leaped off the bed and practically threw herself on the door, fumbling with the lock until she was able to throw it open.
There, lurking shyly in the shadows, stood the young orange pegasus that Rainbow had once called 'kiddo'. Only she wasn't so young anymore. Scootaloo was taller than Rainbow Dash now, and she'd let her vibrant purple mane grow out in jagged spikes over her eyes. She regarded Rainbow with a bashful gaze, scuffing her tall, graceful hooves back and forth over the carpet.
Rainbow gaped back at her, astonished by the mare's transformation. A wave of nostalgia rolled over her, but it was quickly suppressed by some blushworthy thoughts that Dash had never thought she'd be having. You know, she turned out kinda... hot.
Dash's pupils shrank. Ohhhhh, no. I did not just think that. Attempting to conceal her shock beneath a forced grin, she leaned forwards and wrapped Scootaloo in a tight hug. "I-it's good to see you, Scoots," she stammered. "It's, um, been way too long."
"Yeah..." Scootaloo breathed fervently as she was embraced by her idol. "Way too long..." Slowly but surely, she reached up and slid her own hooves around Rainbow's back, unobtrusively sniffing in the crackly scent of her mane.
As Scootaloo's hooves brushed against her wings, Dash came to a sudden decision. You know what? Screw it. This feels too good to ignore. Stepping back, Rainbow shot Scootaloo a roguish smile - a real one this time. "So. You? Me? Dinner tonight?"
Scootaloo blushed profusely, but was able to return the smile. "I'd like that
"Starshine, baby, can you please give Mommy her magic book back? She really doesn't want that one ripped, it has a lot of powerful spells in it - oooh, too late..." Starlight Glimmer cringed as the sound of pages being ripped out emanated from her foals' bedroom. The sound of two young foals giggling mischievously followed it, and the overworked unicorn sighed and facehoofed. "Ugh, why did I ever think having children was a good idea?"
"Because they're cute and cuddly little bundles of joy when they're not destroying Mommy and Daddy's magic books?" Sunburst suggested, coming up behind her and wrapping a fond hoof around his wife's back, his scruffy goatee tickling her cheeks
Starlight had to smile at that. "Okay, you might have a point there."
Prince Blueblood groaned and flicked a bead of sweat off of his stately forehead. It had no business being there - royalty weren't supposed to sweat. It was just so ridiculously hot here. He ground his teeth in annoyance, cursing his however-many-times-great aunt Celestia for sending him on this diplomatic mission to the dragon's territory. If he hadn't been so firmly convinced of his own superiority he might have suspected that she was trying to find an excuse to get rid of him for a while.
All of a sudden, Dragon Lord Ember strode majestically out from behind a curtain of rock in order to began their meeting, and the Prince found himself feeling warm for a very different reason. "Whoa," he muttered, blushing. "That is one smokin' hot dragon."
"Cheeeeeeeese! I finished the cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie called in a singsong voice, her hooves sheathed beneath protective mitts as she carefully pulled the goodies out of the oven. "Come and get 'em!"
With a whoop of joy, Cheese Sandwich burst out of the next room and skidded to a stop in front of his marefriend, his eyes huge with excitement. "These look delicious!"
"I sure hope so!" she giggled. "I made them just the way you like them - sweet and cheesy!" As she spoke, her hooves drizzled pre-made frosting over the cupcakes at lightning speed. "Here you go! All for you!" She held out a cupcake, trying to conceal the flicker of sadness in her eyes as she resigned herself to not eating any cupcakes from the batch. She'd already Pinkie promised Cheese that she would make a batch just for him, and there was no way she was going to break it.
"Mmmmm..." Licking his lips, Cheese scooped the proffered cupcake into his hoof and took an enormous bite, leaving half of it behind. "Mmm. Thish ish d'lishioush!" he slurred in ecstasy, rolling the desert around on his tongue. "But..." he swallowed and frowned at Pinkie. "You forgot something."
"WHAT?!" Pinkie grabbed him by the shoulders and jammed their foreheads together. "What did I forget? Tell me! Tell me! I'm pretty sure I got all the important ingredients in there... did I not put enough cheese? Does the frosting need more sugar? Does -"
Cheese Sandwich shoved the other half of the cupcake in her mouth and wrapped her in a warm, gooey hug. "No, silly. Did you really think that I was going to let you watch me eating those yummy cupcakes? You forgot that the best part of eating cupcakes is sharing!"
"Dashie? I made us hot chocolate..." Fluttershy trundled out of her cottage kitchen with her hooves wrapped around two mugs of steaming cocoa. The sight of her marefriend's polychromatic mane splayed carelessly over the top of the couch in front of the crackling fireplace almost made Fluttershy's heart ache with joy. It was their very first Hearth's Warming Eve as a couple, and Fluttershy still couldn't believe that Rainbow has chosen to spend it quietly and peacefully at her little cottage on the edge of the forest. 'Peaceful' and 'Rainbow Dash' usually didn't belong in the same sentence.
Not that Fluttershy was complaining. This was the best night of her life.
Rainbow tore her gaze away from the fireplace and smiled crookedly up at Fluttershy. "Thanks, 'Shy. You're the best." She accepted a mug of hot chocolate and recklessly tipped half of it down her throat. "YEESH! It's boiling! Are you trying to kill me?!"
Fluttershy laughed softly. "You're not supposed to drink it right away..."
Still coughing a little, Rainbow turned her head to hide her blush. "Um, I knew that." Attempting to stave off her embarrassment, she patted the cushion next to her with the tip of her wing. "Come on, I saved a nice warm spot just for you."
The butter yellow pegasus didn't need to be told twice. She sank into the sofa and rested her head against Dash's powerful shoulder, blowing gently on her hot chocolate. Rainbow grinned down at her and slipped her wing around her back, brushing her feathers along her chest. "You know what, 'Shy?" Settling aside her cocoa, Dash lowered her head and pressed a gentle kiss to Fluttershy's forehead. "You're the only Hearth's Warming present I need."
"Twilight, you're such a nerd," Rainbow Dash smirked, her gaze darting around the table at the piles of calculus books that Twilight had been poring over before Rainbow had burst through the open library window and jumped on her back. "You really need to get out more!"
"Excuse me, but there is nothing wrong with being a nerd," Twilight protested, futilely attempting to shake her marefriend off her back. "Learning for learning's sake is a pastime that - ugh, can you please get off my back?!"
"Fine." Rainbow licked her ear, ignoring her squeal of disgust, and rolled off. "So. Are you ready?"
Twilight stared at her blankly. "... for what..."
Dash rolled her eyes and facepalmed. "You were too busy doing math-y stuff again to remember, huh? You said you'd come watch my flight practice today!"
The alicorn's face twisted with guilt. "Oh. Oh! Sorry! Um, yeah! I'm ready! I can't wait to watch your, um... barrel rules and stuff..."
"WHAT?!" Rainbow's eyes bugged out. "Did you just call a barrel roll, only one of the coolest flight maneuvers of all time, invented by Daniel Mareloney, only one of the coolest ponies of all time, a barrel rule?"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry! But..." a sly smile came to Twilight's face. "Looks like there are two nerds in this room. Somepony's interested in aviation history, huh?"
Rainbow blushed. "Touché."
StarTrix - 'Rabbit from a Hat' - Butterscotch Moonglow
"I have a present for you!" Discord sang, coiling himself around Rainbow Dash, who was passed out, fast asleep, on a cloud.
"Ehmmm? Wuzzat?" She cracked an eyelid open and blinked sleepily, her muzzle creased with annoyance (and drool). She hated being woken up from a nap.
"A present," Discord repeated slowly, his eyes dancing with glee.
Rainbow came fully awake at once. "Oooh, a present? What is it?"
Discord snapped his claws and a rolled-up scroll dropped out of the sky, bonking Dash on the forehead. Notably less enthused, she raised an eyebrow at it and then glanced back up at Discord. "Um... you got me a piece of paper."
"No, silly. Open it!" He bent down and spoke to the map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
Frowning at Discord's rather odd statement, she reluctantly complied, grabbing the scroll and stretching it out. The pegasus's eyes widened as she stared at the parchment. It appeared to be an enormous map of some sort... but it was no ordinary map. Small sets of four hoofprints each dotted it, each set labeled with the name of a pony. "What is this?" she breathed in awe as the hoofprints cantered slowly around on the page.
"It's the Marerauders' Map!" Discord crowed, suddenly decked out in black robes with a green and silver scarf. "I thought it was just a legend, but I found it! Er, well, I may have stolen it. But semantics are pointless, so let's move on! The map can tell you where anypony in Ponyville is. It calibrates itself to your location, so if you were in Canterlot, it would tell you the locations of everypony in Canterlot. To activate it, you just have to say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.' To wipe it blank, say 'Mischief Managed'."
"Whoa," Rainbow murmured. "This is so awesome! Thanks!" She leaned up to give Discord a quick peck on the cheek and then stared back down at the map, rapt with attention. "I can see everypony... wow, Applejack, what the hay are you doing in the barn with Rarity?" A devilish gleam shone in her eye. "Discord, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That we should go spy on Applejack and Rarity and get them to kiss, and then proceed to go spy on everypony else and play pranks on the whole town and generally be a couple of mischief-making nuisances?" Discord answered, idly inspecting his claws.
Rainbow Dash allowed herself a wicked grin. "Yeah. That."
Applejack stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing her eyes, her sleep-mussed flaxen mane tumbling over her shoulders. "Mornin', Rainbow," she slurred, automatically pressing a sloppy kiss to the polychromatic pegasus's cheeks as she walked by. Then she did a double take. "Wait - Rainbow? What're y'all doin' up so early?"
Rainbow smirked as she returned her marefriend's bewildered muzzle. "Well, first of all, it's not early. It's almost noon."
"WHAT?!" Applejack yelped, suddenly wide awake. "Sakes alive, Ah gotta get t' work, Granny's gonna kill me -"
"Shhh!" Rainbow shoved a hoof in her mouth to stop her protests, thereby making the 'shhh' pointless, as Applejack had no choice in the matter. "It's your day off, remember? Granny and everypony else is out in the fields already. They told me to tell you not to worry about it. They're gonna take care of all your chores."
"B-but what about th' plow, are they gonna -"
"Mac told me to tell you he'd fix it today."
"An' th' -"
"Yes, the cider making equipment is going to be set up. Apple Bloom said you were gonna ask about that. She and Granny are taking care of it, so can you please chillax?" Rainbow rolled her eyes fondly. "It's your day off. Geez."
Relieved, Applejack relaxed her shoulders and sighed. "Whew. That takes a load off my mind..." her voice trailed away. "Um, what're ya doin'?"
"Making you pancakes to start your day off with a bang," Dash replied. "What does it look like?"
The blackened lumps in the pan on the stovetop looked like they might have pancakes in some past life, but now they were unrecognizably charred and burned. Applejack's mouth fell open. Rainbow, apparently, had not yet noticed that anything was wrong.
"Here," Rainbow continued, still oblivious. "Try one!" She deftly flipped one out of the pan and into Applejack's mouth.
"Blech!" Her intention to congratulate her marefriend for her effort did not stop Applejack from recoiling and making a face. She instinctively spat the pancake into the trash can and swiped her tongue around her mouth, trying futilely to get rid of the taste of carbon.
Rainbow's grin faded. "Are they horrible?" she asked in a small voice.
"Uh, well, no, it wasn't that," Applejack stammered, trying to save her Rainbow's feelings. "Ah was just, uh, a bit shocked by the strong taste, an', uh... they were awful," she lamely concluded, her honest nature finally forcing her to voice her opinion.
Rainbow groaned and switched off the stove, slumping into a chair at the dining table and burying her head in her hooves. "Great. I'm a failure."
Applejack gingerly scraped the rest of the blackened, half-formed pancakes into the trash and then came over to console her marefriend. "Now, honey, don' feel bad. It ain't yore fault, Ah shoulda taught ya how t' cook as soon as ya moved in. It was mah mistake. An' ya know what else? Ah don' give a flyin' feather how they turned out. Ya tried, an' that's all that mattered. An' Ah love ya fer that."
The pegasus lifted her head up and turned her watery-eyed gaze on Applejack. "Do you mean that?"
"As sure as shootin'." Applejack wrapped her hooves around the pegasus's warm neck and planted a kiss on her muzzle. "'Sides, Ah got backup." She pointed to the far end of the table, where there sat a basket of peaches. "Picked 'em yesterday. They're gonna be delicious."
Rainbow blinked at them. "What are those?"
Applejack eyed her incredulously. "Don' tell me y'all have never seen a peach before!"
"Well, no, I mean, yes, I have. I meant, what are those doing here? At Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Oh, darlin', didja think we only grew apples here?" She burst out laughing. "That's th' funniest thing Ah ever did hear! Why, haven't ya ever been t' the east orchard? We grow all sorts o' fruit there." She scooped up two peaches and hoofed one of them to Rainbow. "Here. Try one."
The pegasus bit into her peach and moaned with pleasure. "Mmmmmm. Tashty," she drawled. She glanced up at Applejack, her eyes softening as she took in the Earth pony's disheveled mane and ruffled chest fur. "Did I ev'r tell you how byootiful you look in the morningsh?"
"Only about ten thousand times," Applejack replied fondly. "An' Ah'll excuse ya talkin' with yore mouth full 'cause it was a compliment." She sat down in the chair next to Rainbow and rested her golden head against the pegasus's shoulder.
Rainbow swallowed her peach and wrapped her wing around Applejack's back, enfolding her into a warm embrace. "I love you, Applejack," she murmured into her mane.
Applejack hummed with contentment and entwined their hooves together. "Ah love ya too, sugarcube."
"Oh, hello, Discord. Please do come in." Fluttershy directed a shy smile at the draconequus and stood aside to let him in. "I've just finished setting the table."
Discord tramped into the house, ducking his head so that he didn't hit the top of the doorframe, and glanced around the entryway. "Sorry, is there somewhere I can put my coat?" he asked, his eyebrows raised mischievously."
"You don't have a..." Fluttershy's voice trailed away as a collared trench coat appeared on his body, preceded by a snap of his claws. "Oh. Um, of course." She used her teeth to tug the coat off and nudged it into a nearby closet. "There."
"Perfect. Thank you." With another snap of his fingers, Discord teleported into one of the chairs at the kitchen table and gave his marefriend a toothy smile. "So what's for tea?"
Fluttershy skittered into the kitchen and returned a minute later bearing a tray upon which there sat a teapot, two cups, and two plates of cookies.
"Excellent!" Rubbing his paws together merrily, Discord took a cookie, bit into it, and promptly spat it out, obliviously spewing crumbs halfway across the table. "Bleurgh! Eurgh! Fluttershy, my dear, are you trying to poison me? These cookies are filled with SALT!" Wincing with disgust, he reached out to pour himself a cup of tea in order to wash the taste of salt away. To his surprise, the teapot turned out to be empty. "What -?" He blinked at it in bewilderment. "Fluttershy, this teapot doesn't have any tea in it!"
"Oh, I know," she giggled, bringing a dainty hoof to her mouth to stifle her laughter. "Rainbow Dash dared me to play a chaotic prank on somepony, and I thought there was no one better to play it on than the Lord of Chaos himself." She gave him a loving nuzzle.
Discord arched a wry eyebrow. Clearly, the pegasus was proud of her pranking ingenuity, but part of him just couldn't believe that she thought this - some missing tea and salty cookies - was chaos. "Well, it was a good prank, Fluttershy," he conceded, chucking. "I'll admit you had me confused for a while. But do you want to see a real chaotic tea party?" He snapped his claws yet again, and the room turned upside down. Jaguar print wallpaper blossomed on the walls, rippling and pulsating, and the furniture started to dance the Can-Can. "There. Much better," he announced, satisfied.
"Um, Discord?" Fluttershy's meek voice piped up from her new position on the ceiling, where Discord had inadvertently turned her into a talking pink and yellow chandelier. "Could you please change me back?"
"Spiiiiike? Would you be a dear and bring me the large purple gem I have on my dresser?" Rarity called.
The dragon gulped. "Um... you mean the one I just ate?"
A loud, disgruntled sigh emanated from Rarity's workroom. "Oh, Spike, I told you I was saving that one!"
"I'm sorry!" he protested. "I'm a growing dragon! I was hungry."
Rarity took a moment to compose herself before responding. "Well, that's a valid excuse, I suppose. I guess I'll just have to finish this without."
"Finish what?" Spike shouted back.
The alabaster unicorn's lips curled in a smile. "Why don't you come and see, darling."
The dragon slipped out his chair and padded into the workroom, massaging his stomach. Perhaps that purple jewel had been one too many. "I don't see any- thing..." His voice trailed away and his jaw fell open. Right before him in the center of the room there stood a dragon-shaped mannequin decked out in a classy black suit that was tastefully decorated with sparkling gems of all hues. "Whoa..." he breathed.
"I made it just for you, my little Spikey-Wikey," Rarity cooed, trotting to his side and wrapping her hooves around his shoulders. "Although... I suppose you're not so little anymore..." Indeed, Spike was a head taller than she was now. "Anyway. What do you think?"
"I... I... I love it!" He flashed her a toothy smile and returned her embrace. "You know, gem fashion is the best fashion, but when it's your gem fashion?" He drew back and looked Rarity right in the eye, borrowing one of her favorite phrases. "It's simply divine."
"Hey, Doctor? I made you something!" Derpy trotted into the TARDIS's console room, her voice muffled by the tray she was holding in her mouth. On the tray was a single, perfectly shaped lemon poppyseed muffin decorated with a mini edible fez and bow tie.
The Doctor trotted over, his eyes brightening. "Why, thank you! It looks delicious!" Tucking his sonic screwdriver into his coat pocket, he bent down and scarfed the cupcake down in one bite. "Mmmm. Tasty. Say, where did you find the kitchen? It keeps moving around."
Derry giggled. "Right between the library and the pool."
He nodded. "Right. Erm, sorry, I just have to finish fixing the circuits; they're acting up again..." he waved vaguely at the console behind him. "Come back in half an hour? I'll take you to that muffin planet you were asking to see."
"Yay!" She planted a kiss on his muzzle and darted away, chanting, "Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!" as the Doctor shot her a fond smile and turned back to his work.
Applejack x Carrot Top - 'Food Fight' - Solemn Vigil
"NO! My farmland, my rules!" Carrot Top sharply turned her head away from Applejack and crossed her arms.
"Awww, come on, honey," Applejack wheedled. "Ah jus' need a teeny, tiny bit more land. Ah got a few seedlin's that need plantin' real quick, an' yore farm has th' only available fertile land in town! Ah don' have any more space in mah orchards. Y'all can take a few apples from th' trees when they're full-grown if ya want payment. 'Sides, we're datin' now. What's yores is mine, what's mine is yores, ya know?"
Carrot Top sniffed. "Applejack, you may be my marefriend, and I may love you dearly, but I am not letting you grow apples on a carrot farm. What would you do if I tried to plant a foreign crop - say, pears - on your farm?"
Applejack shuddered at the very thought. "Awww, shoot. Yore right. Guess Ah'll jus' have to sell those seedlin's..." Her voice trailed away. "Say. Ah think Ah know how we can settle this."
"How's that?" Intrigued despite herself, Carrot Top spun around to face her marefriend. "And don't think you can try to bribe me into giving you the land by kissing me. It won't work."
"Worked th' last ten times Ah tried it," the sturdy farmpony grinned. "But no, Ah was thinking of a food fight. We can use all th' apples an' carrots that ain't fit fer sellin'. Winner gets th' land."
"Hmmm." Carrot Top mulled it over, her forehead creased in a thoughtful frown.
"So? Food fight?" AJ prompted.
The decision was made. "Food fight," Carrot Top agreed with a sly grin.
***
An hour later, Carrot Top and Applejack lay under one of the Apple trees in Applejack's orchard, panting, covered in apple and carrot mush. Applejack knew she had won, but she decided to be gracious. "Sugarcube? Y'all can keep yore land... if'n ya let me come over an' get some nice carrots from time t' time. Then Ah can bake 'em into a nice carrot cake an' have ya over for dessert. We have a deal?" She leaned closer to Carrot Top and gave her a friendly nuzzle.
Carrot Top nuzzled back, smiling softly. "It's a deal."
"Gaaaaah!" Vinyl Scratch burst through the doors of her home and trotted into the living room, where she proceeded to pace nervously around the couch while chewing anxiously on her hoof.
Lyra glanced at her marefriend in surprise. "Whoa. What's got you so high-strung?"
"Ponyville and Appleoosa are facing off in buckball today and -"
Lyra sighed and flopped back down on the couch once more. "Oh. Sports again."
Minuette blinked as Pinkie finished her odd rendition. "Okay. Is party time, like, an innuendo? Also, you rhymed 'you' with ' you'. And did you just serenade me in front of the entire town?"
Pinkie stared around at the crowd of dumbstruck ponies that surrounded them. "Maybe?"
Sunset Shimmer x Sonata Dusk - 'Forgiveness' - BestinDworld
"I just feel like I was being a bit of a jerk," Sonata confessed, lowering her head abashedly.
Sunset Shimmer arched an eyebrow at her girlfriend. "Really? Just a bit? Trying to hypnotize everyone into loving you is just a bit?"
The reminder seemed to sting. Sonata dropped her head even more and bit her lip. At this pitiful sight, Sunset couldn't keep up her stern charade any longer and she burst out laughing. "Oh, Sonata, I'm just kidding. Trying to hypnotize everyone into loving you is... well... it's nothing new for me," she sighed, memories of her own foray into villainy flashing before her eyes. "I know what you were going through, and I know how horrible it felt for you when you finally realized how wrong you were. I felt awful too. But my friends saved me, and now we've saved you. We know you've changed."
"So... you forgive me?" She looked up with a hopeful smile.
Sunset sat down next to the former Siren and wrapped a reassuring arm around her shoulders. "Dusky, we forgave you half a year ago, the very day all of that happened. Forgiveness is friendship, after all, as my friends taught me. And sometimes it's even a little more," she added with a blush, thinking of the relationship that had bloomed slowly but surely afterwards. "But part of forgiveness is forgetting. It happened more than half a year ago, Sonata. Why do you think I'm still mad?"
"Um, I don't," she grinned. "I just wanted to make you feel bad so you'd hug me and I would get cuddles." She indicated Sunset's arm, still slung over her shoulder. "And apparently, it worked."
Sunset rolled her eyes, but she couldn't keep a tiny grin off her face as she leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to Sonata's cheek. "You sly devil, you."
Adagio Dazzle x Sunset Shimmer - 'Silk Stockings' - BestinDworld
Spike did it. He did it. He had finally asked Pinkie Pie out to dinner. Albeit at a speed faster than a freight train, but Pinkie spoke even faster than that, so she would surely understand.
Pinkie giggled. "Oh, that's really sweet of you, Spike, but I already have some other plans tonight!"
The little dragon's heart sank, and he had to struggle to maintain his smile. "Y-you do?"
"Yep!" I have a 'Sweet Treats' date with one of my very best friends tonight! He's one of the nicest, funniest, sweetest friends I have! And I've baked him some of my favorite goodies, to show him how much he means to me!"
Spike swallowed hard. "Oh." Feeling tears well up, he turned out and awkwardly wiped his eyes. "Well. I guess I should get going, then."
Pinkie stared after him in bewilderment. "What? Why?"
"Because it sounds like I was too late," he muttered dejectedly.
"Huh?" Pinkie widened her eyes. "What do you - oh. Ohhhh." Much to Spike's surprise, the pink party pony burst into a fit of giggles. "Sorry, I guess I should have explained! It's you, Spike! I want you to be my very special somedragon! You're the pony I want to give my goodies to!"
Spike beamed and whooped with joy, crushing her in a hug. "Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so happy!" Then he drew back and frowned a little. "But wow, that last sentence was phrased really weird."
"So what are you going to be for Nightmare Night?" Fluttershy asked Spike gently, nuzzling his shoulder.
"Hmm... I think I'll be a vampire," he answered. "Rarity can give me some scary makeup and a costume, and Pinkie can teach me how to do the cool scary voice. What about you?"
Fluttershy smiled, a hint of fangs protruding from her jaw, her eyes flashing red for the briefest instant. "Oh, I think I'll go one better."
"Did you know that bananas are naturally radioactive? This property comes from the Potassium-40, which is a radioactive isotope of potassium." Twilight glanced over at her regal marefriend. "Celly? Did you hear me?"
This question was prompted by Celestia's rather vacant expression. She was staring off into the distance with her eyes wide and dreamy. "Twilight?" she said after a while in a thoughtful tone of voice.
"Yes?"
"... I think I'm a banana."
Cue the music, the flashing strobe lights, and the oversized banana costume.
Discord turned to Pinkie Pie with a raised eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I heard Twilight say it when she was talking about me the other day," she was explained. "Actually, I was kind of eavesdropping."
Discord took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Well, er, it's a term often used to describe those who are half-draconequus and half something else. Although I'm sure Twilight was just using it as a figure of speech..." His mind flashed back to all of the weird things she had done over the years. "Or, haha, perhaps not."
“Hey, Pinks? Remember that time we painted the whole town pink and blue as prank?” Rainbow snorted with laughter. “Good memories…”
“Yeah! And hey, do you remember that time I threw a fake spider in your face and you screamed like a little filly and ran away?”
Rainbow stared at her marefriend in confusion.
Pinkie blinked. “Oh, wait. That hasn't happened yet.” She reached into her mane and threw a fake spider in Rainbow’s face. The pegasus screamed like a little filly and ran away. “Hee hee! Gotcha!”
