• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

darf


pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here

Comments ( 79 )

Ohhh boy, here we go. I feel it in mah bones this ones gonna be a goodin'
EDIT: I like the contrast between "Feathers" and this story. The dissatisfaction of the character and his negative Point of View in comparison with his rather happy, optimistic attitude in "Feathers" really adds to the depth of the story I'd say. While I can't say that this is perhaps "my kind of thing" I actually enjoyed the story, but not the clop. I don't think I've ever read a story where the main character is displeased with Fluttershy, and I commend you on a good job with how you dealt with it.

Let's see if my feels can handle this, shall we?

darf #3 · Apr 3rd, 2013 · · 1 ·

i apologize in advance

Get out the bomb shelter, we're in for a tactical feels attack.

Straight to the feature box.

2368641
i dunno about this one, man
it's uh
yeah
we'll see

also inb4 obligatory nostalgia schmaltz downvote and comment of the same ilk
also if you wanted to post it around now that would be rad

2368644 You made me and Fluttershy break up? :fluttershyouch:

2368653
not quite...

Commence read.


Not quite apart, but can't really say together...

I... don’t know how I feel about this. On the one hand, it was really weird... but also kind of good?

Hmm.. speaking as a fan of the Fluttershy this really is quite bold.

I like the approach, really. Though I am a fan of the happy romance, a bit of dark romance goes a long way too. Enjoyed and Liked.

I'm a Fluttershy white-knight, fanboy, you can probably spell that "boy" with an "i", that's how much of a cutsie-wutsie person I am. And this made me terribly sad to read... you write it as a second person fic but I can't see myself doing this, not even a little, I'd go the extra 15 miles for Fluttershy and build a smaller house, with heating and plumming, for the animals if it bothered me so much, all to make her happy O.o
You're an amazing writer, Darf, but whao, this just makes me want to headbutt you.
I have to upvote this because of how good the writing is, but I really cried a little at the story... :fluttercry:

2368902
that all said, i appreciate you voting based on quality of delivery rather than subject matter
i think a lot of people on the site (or on the internet in general) see a story that doesn't leave them with a pleasant taste in their mouth, and downvote based on that interpretation - like, a story isn't worth enjoying if it doesn't have a happy ending
so, with all that in mind, thanks for expressing your opinion and considering the story as a body of work rather than a personal letter to your sensibilities
keep fighting the good fight

2368938
You shut your mouth, I'm still headbutting you if I meet you
I need to cry some more.. ... .. There we go... crying more.

Well, it's pretty obvious that "I" vented my frustration regarding the whole situation with what "I" just did to her.

You’re not sure how much you mean it. But, for tonight, it’s enough.

Things are just hanging by a thread, but, as much as I don't like it, more sessions like this, where "I" get to release my frustration, might help in cooling down things as a whole.


I really don't know what to feel after reading this.

P.S. - Although I do have to commend you on the total 180° from Feathers regarding tone and whatnot.

Beautifully decadent.

Gah. Another depressing story >.< I gotta stop reading these, couple stories like these just leave me in a funk all day.
That said, astoundingly written as always. Is a upsetting story, but its a GOOD upsetting story. Tch...poor shy. I really can't see how 'I' let her fall into such a state.

The Alternate Universe tag seems appropriate here.

Jake is probably going to hate me for this

*reads*
eeyup.

Honestly, it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I was expecting some kind of hardcore marital rape. Technically, it could be considered that, but it felt more awkward than hostile, like it made me want to change the channel, not for the quality, but because it made me feel... awkward. Still, poor Fluttershy is in a bad way, and this asshole takes advantage of her weakness and submissive personality.

And it's very well-written and effective.


Goddamnit.


Upvote.

I like what Uve done here in dissecting the happily ever after theory lol guys become dicks....girls gain weight...sex becomes unsatisfying And everything u found cute and endearing becomes annoying...poor flutters...I want to give her a hug...but then I remembered she is fat and stinky lol :)

This more than anything is just a sad story, but I'm glad it went up, I do enjoy a good deconstruction/reality ensued story, like yours with Shining and Twilight. It keeps things in perspective :3

Dude. This story brought me the worst worst feels. Well done, and well played, good sir.

wow wasn't expecting to say this at all but powerful theme, and you create a dark sense of place despite sparse description

really like your characterization of broken fluttershy, especially the drunk one-shot from your earlier story

Wow, I am a complete asshole in this story. Why do I still live in this house if I seem to hate everything about it and its occupants?

Relationship failure is always something that peaks a reader's attention.
When done correctly, it can bring despair and sadness to a person.
I'm slightly displeased to say that this one was done extremely well.

This story is certainly very realistic. However, I indulge in ponies to ESCAPE from depressing, shitty realism.

EDIT: And yes, I admit I downvoted it even though I think it's well-written. My logic is very simple: regardless of the reason why, I still didn't like it. So far as I'm concerned, that's the metric the voting system is there for.

Gee Darf that was depressing.

This is one of those situations when I'm not sure if I'm supposed to down vote; I certainly didn't enjoy this story, but it was quite well-written. Hmm. Guess I'll leave the voting tool alone for now whilst I contemplate it's purpose.

Get the feeling Fluttershy is your least favorite pony, hahaha. Guess her cute and shyness can only keep your attention for so long before you start to look at the things you might have overlooked when you two started the relationship:fluttercry:.

Noc

The story description makes it sound like both parties carry some of the blame, but that’s only true in this case in the sense that it’s maybe 10–90% Fluttershy and “You”, respectively. It feels like she bends herself over backwards (if not literally) to try and appease him, and he just acts like an uncaring douchebag throughout. I understand that being in an emotionally dark place can screw with someone’s perspective, but at this point, it just feels like he’s an ass without any good reason for having become one, while ’Shy’s as sweet and devoted as ever.

But that’s just my view of their interactions. The story itself was good, if not entirely enjoyable (it’s kind of a pet peeve of mine when second-person-perspective stories have inexplicably mean lead characters), the writing is excellent as always, and the smut was kinda good, too (I like how ’Shy got into cleaning him off at the end, or so it seemed to me). Upvoted, though I hope if you make a third installment, these two will be in a less depressing place by then.

This....

This is a gem. One of those rare gems that brings reality to those that want to escape it. One of those gems that you see in movies, the bittersweet ones where the woman wants to run away from her husband but can't. One of those gems that brings true emotion over that blanket people put over their eyes to filter the bad from the good.

One of tjose gems that makes me wish I could write this well.

In the end, a good story makes you want to escape reality to visit another.
But a great story makes you feel, even if you want to forget it.

I was confused with what the OC was saying. Some quotation marks would've worked wonders here.

So Darf, this story...

There's not many fics I can think of where the first sentence of the story tells the reader everything they need to know, including the tone and theme. As soon as I read that sentence I knew what to expect, and the more I read, the more I got a little concerned. This is a certainly a very real way of looking at a human relationship with a pony, more so when that pony is Fluttershy. Everything is believable. :fluttershyouch:

The use of second person in this story has convinced me to try it out myself next time I work up the energy to write. All the emotion of this story would not have been so well received I think if you have gone with first or third POV. There is something very haunting about being told in the story 'you' feel this way, 'you' are this unhappy in this sexless and loveless relationship you are trapped in.

I think a reader who has been this human will enjoy this story more, and I say 'enjoy' loosely. There is very little to enjoy in terms of pleasure - this is a sad, dark illusion of a relationship between two people who, for their own personal reasons, won't leave each other despite being unhappy. I've been this human, I've been in a relationship where it's all one-word responses, eye rolling, wanting the other person to shut up and not talk to me, and so when I started reading this, I got honestly scared. I almost stopped reading once Fluttershy offered to make things better with sex. I know that kind of person, and I didn't think I could handle reading this, but I pushed through and was a little surprised by the ending.

This is really rough though. You did a great job with this, as always. Somehow the sex in this story was still arousing, if only because taking out frustrations through sex can be... distracting I guess? I can't put that into words properly, but I understood it very well. I understood this whole story very well. Thank you for writing something that I hope educates others who might be in this relationship to reflect and make some changes.

:fluttershbad:

I'm not really sure how you did it, but I feel physically sick to my stomach after reading this :applecry:.... I want moar :flutterrage:

When I saw darf wrote it I got scared... due to his.... past stories.


I'm glad I gave it a read though, Fluttershy was always too submissive, too timic, too SHY and to see how that backfired on her once she got a coltfriend really threw down a blanket of despair and depression onto you.
Well... not so much depression considering I hate fluttershy with a burning passion

This is a very interesting story, Darf... It really shows how a relationship with a human and pony would play out. Other fanfics play it off as a more happy go lucky style but this is real. I found this deserving of the dark tag and I thought this was a great fanfic. Keep up the good work :)

For the first part of the fic I hated myself.:pinkiesick:

“Why... why don’t you want me anymore?” She howls the last word like she’s been shot, letting it spill out of her in an anguish of tears.

yup, right here.
Then, how Fluttershy jumped straight to sex for a relationship cure-all, and how she was trying soooo desperately to kept me there, I developed mixed feelings about the whole thing. Darf you wrote another good fic. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go feel some type of way about this.
:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::raritycry::fluttercry::raritydespair:

Well...

This killed the happiness from Feathers for me.

But I guess that's life. Reminds me of a very large portion of real couples. The first few years they love and care for each other, but eventually they get sick of it when it becomes a routine and everything falls apart.

Life is cruel.

Feathers was a sweet story that almost gave me diabetes.

And this... This... A complete, feels-laden 180° turn that left me speechless (and somewhat depressed).

The most value I received from this story was that it made me think critically about the purpose of FiMFiction's rating system.

This would be incredibly valueable as a chapter that sets a tone for a longer, more meaningful story.

As a stand-alone it's disgusting, terrifying (but not thrilling), and, alternate universe or no, Fluttershy is distressingly out of character.

This, I think, is the kind of story one can appreciate if one values authorial intent. It's certainly successful in it's attempts to make me feel self-loathing, shame, and revulsion, but since I, like many people, -don't- value authorial intent I just can't appreciate that.

I can't bring myself to read it.
I disregarded my better judgement before (on this site) and was stuck with a head that was all WRONG.
I can't downvote it either, no matter how I would like to - I've read your other stories and I believe I am safe to assume it doesn't deserve it, objectively.

Subjectively I want to *redacted* you, just for the cover art. Personally I have this http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/154/6/0/fluttershy__s_spirit_by_anadukune-d526gs9.jpg
as my phone wallpaper. Crying Fluttershy is just wrong.

I guess I will read it some day, when I will be mentally prepared.
It's just when I asked (or hoped) for a sequel it surely wasn't like that:(

Edit: Or I will steer clear of it, maybe.
I ignored my better judgement about Pinkie Pie sucks 100 dicks
*shudder*

Darf, you are brilliant. This story felt amazingly real, which is fantastic considering most of what we see are happy-go-lucky soulmates-who-never-fight stories. This story... This masterpiece brought to light a realistic failing relationship that was a goddamn kick in the face of about five typed of emotions. Keep up the amazing work, Darf. I know that I'll keep reading.

It was despairing, but that's what made it hot. I don't know if I'd say I felt anything from this, in part because the protagonist doesn't seem to feel anything. Just floating in a sea of grey apathy, punctuated with periodic waves of anger that come and go back to nothing in an instant.

Reminded me of Arab Strap

That was depressing. Extremely well written. A complete contrast to Feathers. The disgust "I" felt towards her was... Different. Its not every day you see a fic where you don't love Fluttershy's company.

Bravo Zulu

2368631It wasn't enough.:raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair:

Oh man, thank you darf. Thank you for writing that which no other fan wants to right; a true slice of life. I liked feathers, it felt like the honey-moon phase of any relationship. But this feels more like what happens when life falls into a routine. The 'animals' were like children, always making messes and dirtying up the house. Flutters offering to do anything to save her relationship and the guy's general apathy; christ man. Deep feels. I now have to read your other works (SO MUCH BACKLOG) because I feel like I have discovered another favorite writer.

This was rough for me, because my last relationship had a pretty similar feel to this towards the end. You hit the emotion spot on, and get an upvote from me for capturing it so well.

After reading this i feel like i got hit in the stomach with a metal criket bat

So many feels:raritycry::fluttercry::fluttershysad::applecry::pinkiecrazy: Mainly saddness but a good read none the less

It started so happy so joyful then it did a bloody one eighty

Very depressing. I thought it was still a good read, but good god, I can only take so much feels! I'd love to see this continue. Preferably where they try to patch up their relationship then kiss and makeup. Please tell me you got more coming after this.

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