An Eque$trian Payday

by The card holder

BONUS: Preview

Author's Note:

;)

"Sir, Mr. Anderson is here to see you."

The man took a break from the piles of paperwork on his desk to lean back and sigh, before pressing a button on his phone. "Send him in."

A moment later, another man entered the office, looking very similar to a child preparing to be scolded by their parent.

Not even waiting for Anderson to start, the man at the desk began talking. "Now, we both know exactly why you're here, so I'm not gonna mince any words." Suddenly, the man stood up, and glared daggers at Anderson. "What the everliving FUCK were you thinking?!"

Anderson flinched. "Sir, I-"

"Don't give me that 'Sir, I' bullshit! Tell me what the hell you were doing!"

Anderson hesitated. "Well, sir, my team had several leads saying that the princess had some highly wanted criminals in her custody, so-"

"So you fucking send out a squad of heavily armored and armed units to snatch them? With the princess right there? Without telling her anything about your plans?!"

"Sir-"

"It's fucking foreign policy 101, Anderson! Don't send armed units anywhere near another country's leader without getting their okay with it first!" The man fell back in his chair, temporarily exhausted. He gestured to the mountains of papers on his desk. "Look at all the shit I have to do now, thanks to your little adventure. The FBI fucks up, so of course the CIA has to clean up what could technically be seen as an act of fucking war. Christ..."

"Sir, if I may?" Anderson spoke up, gaining a small amount of confidence. "In my defense, those criminals were none other than those clown bastards, the Payday gang."

Slowly, the man looked at Anderson, before jumping back out of his seat, his face red with rage. "I don't care if it was fucking Hitler back from the dead and stealing candy from blind orphans! You fucking tell the country's leader, first! It's that fucking simple!"

The man calmed down again. "Hell of a shitstorm you caused, Anderson. Equestrians are calling foul, rightly so, I may add, and our people aren't feeling very keen on what happened, either. So I gotta help set up dates for the big man himself, so this can all be sorted out."

Anderson looked to the ground. "I'm sorry sir, I won't make the same mistake next-"

"Next time?" The man suddenly began to laugh. "Oh- Oh, that's fucking rich. There won't be a next time, Anderson. You're fucking done."

"What-?"

"You heard me. Get your shit, get the hell out of your office, and I suggest you move very, very far away. I hear Alaska's nice this time of year."

Anderson stepped forward. "Sir, you can't-"

"Like hell I can't!" The man stood up again. "You fucked up big time, Anderson, simple as that. If I let you stay in your cushy position on top of the FBI, what's gonna happen next, huh? Gonna end up poking Russia too far? Or maybe you'll have your men storm Parliament. It's a simple fix, Anderson. Someone, you, fucked up tremendously, and to prevent it from happening again, that person, again, you, has to go."

"You can't do that. You have no authority over-!"

"You're right. I don't. That's why the President himself told me to break the news to you. You don't believe me, here." The man threw one of the papers toward Anderson. "You know how soft-spoken he is, coming from him, it wouldn't hold the same weight. Or maybe he'd completely blow his top and strangle you. Either way, it's a good thing he's the one patching up relations with Equestria, and not me. Now, get the fuck out of my office."

Looking at the ground, Anderson wordlessly did so. The man leaned back again, holding his face in his hands as his anger gave way to exhaustion.

Soon after, his phone beeped again. "Sir?"

"What is it, Judy?"

"The President wants your input on where peace talks with Equestria should take place."

Looking at a map of the US on one of his walls, the man paused to think. Eventually, he came up with an answer. "How about Miami? It's a pretty nice place."

"Alright, sir, I'll tell him."

The man once again leaned back in his chair, looking at the papers cluttering his desk. He wasn't even halfway through yet.

"Shit..."

---

"You have- One- New- Message."

*BEEP*

"Hey, it's 'Don' from Hotel Blue. Some urgent business came up, and our receptionist went home due to stomach problems... And we have some VIP's who are staying with us today! Make sure you give them a great stay... That will be your top priority this evening! And remember, be sure to wear something classy!"

*click*

EQUESTRIAN PAYDAY 2: HOTLINE

COMING SOONISH

Comments

[La Barata]

YES! JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST YES! HOTLIIIIIINE!

[SomeRandomTwat]

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes YES!

[Harbinger Vas Qwib-Qwib]

So Hotline Miami... well it's time to put on my richard mask and a wooden baseball bat.

[jmlop0]

Damit! I don't have that dlc "yet"!

[xluferx]

How could thishappen?!!!

[Hatty_Hattington]

EQUESTRIAN PAYDAY 2: HOTLINE
COMING SOONISH

i1.ytimg.com/vi/Dgosi8Mp41Q/hqdefault.jpg

[Kilobytes]

YESYESYES OMG YES

[Softwaresam]

aw yiss

[Gherkin]

;)

Channeling your inner Almir there, I see.

[light snow]

I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year XD can't wait for the sequel!

[Argo Invid]

Hoxton Breakout, when?
I just want to see Old Hoxton reaction for little cute pastel colored ponies as intimidating law enforcers.

[Wolf The Heister]

I wonder if John Wick is coming...

[MaskofLimbo]

First a dlc to payday 2 who was about Hotline Miami.
and now a entirely fanfiction about my 2 favorite games?
HOW CAN I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE MAN.THANK YOU SO MOTHER FUCKING MUCH.

[kyle131996]

A hotline miami payday mlp crossover i..i want this to happen now.

[Chrys]

This story was pure genius, can't wait for the sequel.

[Kilobytes]

5255236 I'm hoping for clover as well as jacket.

[Sky Breeze]

5230648

Holy shit... No...

Especially not an unicorn.

[Registered Anonymous]

"Yeah Miami sounds like a nice place,"

...Well I know who's gonna be on the chopping block next. Also if the Princess and the Payday Gang meet up again I wouldn't mind it being a little awkward for both sides.

Hoxton: Hey Princess! Long time no see! *puts a bullet in a random tazer's head* Sorry about making a mess at this Peace Conference thing.

Princess Celestia: ...Me fucking dammit! I thought I was done with you lot back in Equestria!!!

[Chad]

5229682
Old Hoxton has been in the story the whole time. New Hoxton (Houston) Showed up for a chapter or two. Unless something happens before or during the upcoming sequel, there will be no Hoxton breakout...

But what do I know? Payday on my computer stopped working a month ago. I'm currently dead from the lack of awesome.

[Ud the Imp]

HOLY SHIT. Things are SERIOUSLY gonna be freakin' AWESOME!!!!

The only potential complaint here is how are you gonna incorporate the Hotline Miami verse into the crossover? Especially considering that, in canon, THAT series takes place during the late 80s - early 90s, and you already established this story takes place during a period that is around 2015-2017.

[Warhawk]

5577143 Well she did actually nuke a barn. Then walked out completely unscathed.

[Nightcall]

Bonnie, Clover, Wick, Dragan and Jacket anyone?

[Hugnotfug]

5942613 yeah but their fake names still correlate with the faces that they showed to those who they told their names to before the heists.
If their code names are directly linked to a face, then they're fucked if anyone they talked to who they told their names uses their brain...

[Paraderp]

5230648 Why not have a literal BULLdozer, in the form of a minotaur?

[josue]

You beautiful magnificent bastard

[Lumindia]

well this fic went places... good places.

[crimson velvet]

8562745
Of you get payday the Hiest DONT PLAY MERCY IT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO DEINK THE BLEACH BECAUSE YOU WIL GET RA**D BY DOZERS at least my experience

[ChaseIsOnTheCase]

So, uh... how's progress on the sequel coming along?

[SilverDiamond]

Man, I hope IF the sequel is written that Celly will want to contact them herself, because of some trouble she can't resolve by herself/legally. As much as they stole - their "work ethics" can't be denied. Also, that bonus chapter. Liked it very much. Celly had REALLY GOOD reasons to raise a stink. The four had been jumped on a peaceful exchange. And they don't take kindly to betrayals. Also, as it stands, I THINK that Celly belives that Payday gang feels betrayed by her and will be coming for her or her ponies. Would have loved this little thing resolved. Here's hoping for contuniation.

[FireMaker125]

That sequel ever happening?

[josue]

10620751
Maybe

[jimerjam]

BAIN

[demondude123]

9737705

10244854

Unfortunately, as confirmed by this blog of theirs, we won't be getting a sequel. Right crying shame, really.

[PapaChanka]

We never did get our sequel :(

[Janefilly]

The sequel might not exist but this was a great read nonetheless