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Sometimes, the words we hear hurt more than the stones and sticks that break our bones.
A collaboration with Midnight Dancer and myself. Mainly Midnight Dancer. Go love her. Give her your loves. All of them.
Inspired by this beautiful thing.
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<3 Thank you for letting me write this with you. We shall have to do this again, sometime. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png
This was really good.
Not to lesson the value, I kind of want to write a spoof called "Dictionary"
2195839 i'll be honest, I cried a little when we were writing it. It's been an emotional evening
2195852
Tis definitely that kind of fic. So many sad feels, but good ones too...
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMhMhmYm9qkkGBby_h2HbIXfm50fHfOkGid7ExFfu6YMZhTIZl
I know this is in poor taste, but it helps to laugh:
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/29865549.jpg
That said, a beautiful story. It's a bit short, but it does hit home.
Damn you wrote that fast.
Also, beautiful. You did the original justice, my friend. This is featured worthy.
This needs to be featured.
2195941 2195944 Too short, IIRC, featured stories have to have 4k words.
But you're awesome for saying so ^_^
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m46p33Bez71qkqsfb.gif
That was brilliant! Beautiful writing.
2195952 I knew that, but screw it, let's break the system and do it anyways.
2195952
Damnit. Perhaps you should do something from the other CMC's PoVs, have three chapters, each focusing on different fillies and colts. Twist could be one, and perhaps a chapter that involved either Snips or Snails (or both, if you're so inclined). If each is as long as this one, it should be enough to pass the 4k mark.
2195963 Thanks! Can't wait til Axel wakes up and sees that people like it so much <3
2195967 ah, if I could
2195969 see my skype reply for that
2196304 Congrats on making it through-I am glad you have friends around you to support you (and of course, this wonderful fandom). Check out the To This Day Project, you might like it (even if it gives you a bout of tea-I mean, liquid pride)
2196885 thanks I will
I cried. Beautiful. 10/10
's
God damn it, why must I listen to To This Day while reading this, just feels, ok? No other words, just feels.
I shed a lot of liquid pride.
Damn. That was beautiful. Well played, you two.
*sniff*
Them damn feels. Them damn feels.
Excellent work on this, guys. Short, sweet, and a real heart-wrencher.
THEM DAMN FEELS!
2195613 'Course! And we really should do more of this "Collaboration" stuff. Seems to be working.
2195693 ... That might've been in the works for a possible "Continuation"
2195839 ... Not sure if good thing that I made people cry... Here, have a heart.
2195862 ... Again, gonna assume this is a good thing.
2195883 ... They're doing anything and everything.
2195941 ... I'm happy someone as cynical and assholish as you says that. That really does me wonders.
2195971 I'm afraid that these are all alts created simply to troll people like this.
2195944 ... Thank you, truly.
2195953 Poor Captain Canada...
2195963 ... Thanks.
2196304 ... Sir, I hope you know that I support you fully. I'm glad you're still here, and I hope you know that you've made me happier in knowing I've touched with someone through these words.
2196992 Well, thanks!~
2197637 Dude, try forgetting that you downloaded To This Day on your phone and have it set on repeat. I spent the entire day depressed. In a good way. I think... Not sure how that'd work.
2198230 th08.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/053/a/e/liquid_pride_by_xtailsdudex-d5vwdvn.jpg Just an image I found that helps.
2198695 Well, coming from you, that means a lot. Thanks.
2198795 You're too modest. *hugs up her Axel*
2198804 I'm realistic! Although I am getting better at this "Writing" and "Story-Telling" thing. *Hugs back*
Axel, Dancer, this...
This is fucking gorgeous.
2198951 ... Thank you.
2198769 'Gain, thank ya.
I cried.
2199771 ... I'll take that as a good sign. Thanks!~
2199788 It's only a good thing.
This made it to Popular Stories, it needs to get higher!
The video was brilliant, and this story does it justice. Good job, you two.
The saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break my heart isn't true. Sometimes the can hurt you, harshly.
*sniffs* that was beautiful.
That was beautiful.
This was just excellent!! As a tribute, it works, as a one-shot, it's to the point and doesn't overstay its welcome, and is just a great spin on Scootaloo as a whole. She's one of my favorite ponies, and you and Midnight both deserve credit for doing ol' Scoots sad, beautiful justice. Kudos. Many, many kudos.
Keep doin' wat'cha doin', kid!
Always and forever a writer and reader,
-Ghost
2237013 Thank you <3
i am crying right now..........
now post the real chapter
2353696 FINE
For realz yo!
I've finally gotten my lazy bum in gear and I'm looking over your story now. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about that review you asked me to do, considering your nice work reviewing Racer And The Geek.
2398050
>Inb4 I never asked for a review.
Much appreciated, though. I look forward to your thoughts on this small achievement of mine and Dancer's.
I'm now reviewing Chicken.
My initial impressions of the story were quite strong. This is a story that definitely deserves the sad tag and several times more attention than it has seen.
You did a nice job on reviewing for Racer And The Geek, so I'm returning the favor by looking at your piece. I am truthfully struggling to find meaningful criticism for your story. The mechanics are at least sound. I could give it a thorough combing like a college English professor who moonlights as an Equestria Daily prereader, but that wouldn't be productive or help you out in any real way. It's not that your story is insubstantial. Rather, the problem is with me. There were no glaring faults to this piece. To be honest, changing it would in any noticeable way would pervert the narrative and ruin the effect. Sure, this story could have gone on longer, but then it would have just been flabbier. Sure, the story could have gone into greater detail, but then it would gotten bogged down. This is the single most infuriating type of story to review. It's not infuriating because it is long and awful. It's infuriating because it's difficult to criticize. The story and characterization are extremely well done. All the characters act like themselves. The story is relateable, but removed just far enough to make it interesting. The pacing is close to perfect. The technical aspects are excellent; it ought to be great, but it just isn't. It's a seriously damn good fic, but I simply cannot figure out why it's only damn good and not great instead. I like your story a lot. I'm going to definitely recommend it to others. However, I'm here to give it a review instead of just simply gush mindless, although well-deserved praise. It would be extremely easy to just label it as being really good and just giving out hollow praise. I've had to give it a lot of thought before I could think up any real criticism for it. There isn't too much I can really complain about. I'll explain what I can with some degree of detail. This one is seriously not at all an easy review to write.
If I can find anything to complain about, then it has to be some of the exchanges. There is too little action and too much summarization. I looked at the exchange between Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. All I can really say about that one is that just a bit of it reads like a bad fanfic. As much as it fits with the story to narrate things as if they were events that occurred in the past, However, I found it annoying that I saw the formulaic "W happened, but X said that it was Y because Z" a few times, such as when you were talking about Apple Bloom. I do wish that you had used more dialogue. Even just a few more conversational snippets could have drawn me more effectively into the story. Oh, and that reminds me, do a little less stating and a bit more implying.
That brings me to another point, reading your fic is a flat emotional experience. There aren't any ups or downs in emotion. All we get is gloom, gloom, and more gloom. While that works well for establishing a decisive overall tone, it feels vaguely cheap, as if the story was cynically designed around the principle that the audience will feel sad if you keep reminding them that they're supposed to feel sad because unhappy things happen to the main character. Trying too hard to force emotions onto your audience can make them apathetic, and that's what I have to point out: you're layering on the dysphoria just a tad too thickly. Some happy or bittersweet moments would counteract some of the gloomy and bitter, which would make those parts stand out more strongly. I also think that you should make the age of Scootaloo and her time of life more ambiguous. Making her a teenager works well as a time between child and adult, but leaving her age completely untouched upon would remove an unnecessary distraction from the story as well as make it possible to envision her at any time of her life looking back upon her childhood.
Now, you did a lot of things very well. As I said earlier, the characterization was excellent. From almost the beginning, all the characters were very well established. They all acted exactly as one would think. You did a very good job of getting into the mind of Scootaloo and showing a different aspect to the character best known for being Rainbow Dash's fangirl and not being able to fly. All the other characters were done quite well. I really cannot find much to complain about. This is easily the single best part of your story. The whole thing hinges around the psyche of your central protagonist, and it works beautifully. The combination of youthful immaturity combined with a precocious bitterness combines for a very interesting, introspective, story.
The mechanics and such were fantastic. There were a few instances of grammatical errors, but they were minor and it would be jerky to point them out. They are present, but they did not detract from the story in any noticeable way. You could go back through it one more time if you really want to.
The storytelling was nearly perfect. The pacing was amazing. The story never felt like it dragged on. However, it did feel rushed a few times when you were dealing with conflicts, but it is a forgivable fault. You came, told a story, spent just enough time to develop an idea, and then you moved on. I have to congratulate you on how you interspersed introspection and narration. This is a style I seldom see, and I really like it. The balance between the two is simply stellar. Both of them are equally important to the story, which is a mark of true skill. It is extremely difficult to integrate introspection and narration. The plot was good. Scootaloo is a victim of bullying. It's far from adventurous, but the way in which you handled it with so much thought, nuance, and subtlety really makes it stand out from scootabuse or grimdark. It's a dark tale but it makes perfect sense. It's sad, although that is slightly oversold.
Your story has a strong emotional impact. I had been bullied quite badly throughout most of my childhood. I knew exactly how Scootaloo felt. The way in which she handles it is extremely realistic. I was vividly reminded as to what all that feels like, and I genuinely felt sorry for her. I also felt her hatred for her tormentors. Most stories on this sight make me either wish for booze, or just get a blank stare from me. While I didn't cry, you still got the honest emotional responses from me that you intended. I am definitely going to remember this story for a long time to come and will almost certainly revisit it in the future.
Overall, this story is really damn good. It's not perfect, but is it definitely fantastic. I'm slightly hesitant to call it great, but I'm just stalling. You win 9/10 flutteryays.
2401078 Welp. That certainly was quite a read. Now then, to address a few points.
Normally, I'd agree with this and would have given some more happy undertones, but to be honest, I wrote this feeling extremely sad. Everything both me and Dancer wrote here was meant to be sad. If we had included happy moments, I think it would've detracted from the main tone of the story. But that's just my thoughts.
Anyway.... Well, that's it, really. Thank you for the review that was never asked for, I appreciate it immensely.
I legitly cried.
Just beautiful.
Why is this so beautiful?
Maybe because I can relate.... 
2774319
Ohey. People are still liking this?
Well, glad I can still reach out to folks with this story!