• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

beirirangu


lived in Germany until i was 8, then moved to Russia until i was 17 where i was moved to Florida of the USA for these last few years. So sorry if Gramatically I not very good

E

Upon receiving a new shipment of books, Spike learns that he is aging at a surprisingly slow rate, a rate so slow that by the time he would no longer be considered a young dragon, not only would all of the mane six be long gone, but so would their grandchildren... so in order to answer his long daunting question, he asks Rarity out...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

Seize the day, huh?

wow, this is good:coolphoto:

Interesting :moustache:

I sense potential. Though, I won't lie to you, it's not the greatest it could possibly be. Try and find yourself a proof-reader, friend. It will do you wonders. :pinkiesmile:

This is just the critical nature I tend to have, but you could stand to slow down a bit and explain the scene more. While the dialogue is mostly fine (save some spelling errors) the settings must be explained in such detail that the reader can paint the picture in his/her head. A writer is an artist and he makes his pictures with words, as I like to say.

Try explaining what the scene looks like, smells like, what sort of vibe it has, and even what the character thinks of it.

Just a little advice. I hope to see more of this, friend. :twilightsmile:

1613678 I know... it's just an idea I had while writing The Changeling's Dragon (TCD) that I had the opportunity to write during the waits between writer's blocks for TCD and I just wanted to let people read it as I won't ben writing any more fics until I get a job (no idea how long that will be)

i like this, i would like to read more

Well well well I was wondering where this fic was going to be posted, there are a lot of questions left at the end that truly need answering I know you may not continue this fic for a while and I'm about to go into a very dark place, (Winter does that to me) and I don't want to be around any fic given m tendencies when I get that way. Anyways no need to explain further, but I wished you would have let me help.:pinkiesad2: but that's cool it came out great and there was defiantly improvement from the raw work I've seen. Chow Bennet out.

1616380 Sorry, I was mostly just wanting to put the story out... if anything, it's still an almost first-draft that's still being re-made...

But I did make a promise to my parents that I would give up the thing I love to do the best in order to give me inspiration to get a job... so no more writing until I get employed

I insist that you continue this story.:raritystarry:

1616435
That is horrible.:raritycry: My mom just leaves me to my devices, but the worst she does is keep me out of my room. But I'll give it to them that's great incentive.:rainbowwild: Hopefully you get back soon, I say maybe next year.:pinkiehappy:

i think that you have to continue this story (please :pinkiehappy:)

I love what you've written here so far, and whenever you get around to updating I'll be ready to read it. :twilightsmile:

Well, this is interesting.

where are all these people coming from? the view count has gone from about 3 a day to 30! and it's not even noon!

you, yes, you, right there? yes? CONTINUE THIS NOW!

1980304

Probably has to do with the story being added to the "Sparity" group. At least that's what got me here.

And, well, not that I can really criticise since my writing days have long since passed - but you could work on your characters showing a steady build-up of emotion. As an example, Spike first learning how he will mature goes confusion, anger and instant sobbing. A more introspective style might be nice to be able to better follow the mindsets of the protagonists.

Still, the overall plot idea written in a more serious context is novel. Points for creativity :twilightsmile:

Also, hope your job search was fruitful.

1981077
that makes sense...

as for the characterizations, I can only say that this was literally a first draft I made the day before making a agreement that I would not write any more stories until I get myself a job... so I still consider it a rough draft that just has the basics of the story

and unfortunately not yet... I am job-shadowing for a billing job at a hospital, trying to learn the tricks of the trade, but I have no idea when I will actually have one

1981863

Good luck with your job, then.

I will look forward to read your next draft when the time comes.

This is a really good story, I dare say that this has the potential to be epic.:moustache:
Good bye Spike the assistant, hello Spike the Royal Diplomat!

Continue deine shisse, if you would

I look forward to the next chapter whenever that is because this could be the best spike novel yet, and ive read tens if not hundreds of them.

this brought tears to my eyes :fluttercry: cant wait to read more :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Aura Zero deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by beirirangu deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by Aura Zero deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by beirirangu deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by Aura Zero deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by beirirangu deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by beirirangu deleted Jan 26th, 2015
Comment posted by Aura Zero deleted Jan 26th, 2015

Please continue, facing a eternal sun. Would love to read more. I look forward to it abd can't wait

good story so far :pinkiesmile: but I did get a bit confused at the end :unsuresweetie: is Spike secretly rich or like royalty or something

Hi first off liking the story so far, i was just wondering if this is droped or if you have any idea when theres gonna be an update as i really want to see the girls faces when they find out how important/great spike really is & heres hoping spike & rarity end up happy together :) thanks for the hard work & taking the time to read this :)

9162026
I hate to disappoint you, but I've basically stopped writing anything quite a while ago, but the concept of their abuse of him wasn't the intention of the story, it was in other project plans I had, but this story was supposed to be about Spike coming to terms with his body's aging process and the fact that he'll not only watch every pony he loves die, but that he can't be with any pony without facing their death long before even a fraction of his life passes, and with this being LONG before the other dragons were introduced, the only practical option for this was Celestia

9162193
well its a shame to know youve stoped writting & thank you for the information, its a shame as i really liked spikes & cels conversation. liked how he was this amazing guy that nobody knew about cuz he was keeping it secret lol sorry i really like spike stories :) turns out ive red nost of your other stories aswell lol but all the same thanks for what i was able to read, i enjoyd it :)

9163323
I'm glad you liked it, and yeah, as you might've noticed, I love the little guy as well... almost every story I read is about him :P

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