After Twilight became an alicorn, it seemed as though her entire personality was a bit off. Twilights behavior towards him was really weighing down on Spike, and his growth spurt just a few years ago didn't help with his romance/social life. With so little time to himself, and finding that his life wasn't going to go anywhere in Ponyville, Spike flew off towards the badlands to find his future. Though he left without saying a word, he did leave a note promising he would be back in a few years. While living out his life in the badlands, somedragon ends up opening his life to a whole new world...
First fanfiction ever, and this is just a Spike scenario that has been bugging me for the past month or two. And if you can't tell by what the description and title give you, then let it be known that this is a spike x dragoness fic.
As the story progresses, many other of the spike fiction authors might find tiny references to their stories... one of which is in the prologue.
So yea, big thanks for the inspiration from the multitude of spike fan fic writers.
Hope you guys will give it a shot. Oh, and Spike has wings and magic, but hides the magic from Twilight for obvious personal reasons. Also, didn't know whether or not to add alternate universe tag because there is a dragon civilization, but Equestria has just never known about it.
great story so far, even if it does need a little bit of an editor's touch
yeah i'm gonna put this on my watch list. keep up the good work
Not bad. I'm interested in where this might end up. Continue, please.
I didn't really spot the references (apart from slave driver twilight (down with the 'princess of friendship' bringer of hypocrisy) but everyone loves it when Spike rebels against slaver sparkle) but who cares, me want MOAR!!!
Yea, I don't fancy myself to be a writer, but I'm trying my best to get what is in my head into a story... I already made a plotline of everything that should happen, but I'm tweaking it a little bit as I go along. And yes, I do need to find an editor, because I sometimes wander from what I'm talking about as I write, and it can make the story hard to understand. Also had to go through and alter a bunch of stuff when I first pulled it over from Word, it doesn't really like punctuation, word positioning, italics... stuff like that. Oh, and the first reference pertains to the grey soup type thing. comes from a popular Spike fic where spike is older, huge, and twilight works to make him small again. But yes, I was going for both slave driver Twilight and the overly dedicated to the royal role Twilight. thanks for the support, I plan on getting out the next chapter by the end of the week, and might end up making a side fic to explain the events of Ponyville after he leaves. (this will make more sense in the first 5 chapters)
Thanks for the comments so far!
Actually, the next chapter should be out this weekend. I'm 1.5k into it already so it shouldn't be too much longer. oh, and story chapters will be ranging from 2k -6k in length to separate events.
Ahh... The fresh scent of a new story from a new author cramming their ideas into a work of art for the enjoyment of all. Reminds me of something that happened to me a little over two years ago (by Luna's flank, has it really been that long? I need to get to work on my cobweb infested thing I call a story) though you seem to be off to a better start than I was. I wish you the best of luck, and I shall be watching!
Ok, I got this one out as fast as I could. I didn't have much time to work on this chapter, but the next chapter will have little plot filler, which means it will be more straightforward with events. No jumping back and forth between ideas and stuff like that. Also, please report any grammar problems. I miss things from time to time, so just tell me so I can fix them.
will have the next chapter out sometime this week.
Looks like Spike can hold his own in a fight. That will probably come in handy later.
Even I feel bad for Spike, given what's going to happen next chapter...
I always love Spike being a badass... but he could've at least attempted to say that he wasn't a spy, just a lone dragon trying to live his own life...
as for grammar: "an easy sail to ocean and back," was the only mistake I saw
5410806 if I could make a guess: the clan that assumed he was spying on him, attacked him because he didn't make it clear (or even at all) that he wasn't a spy
5410764
Grammar is mostly fine, though you frequently forget to spell Spike's name with a capital letter.
Can't wait to see what's next though.
I've never been sure about spikes name as to whether capitalize it or not. And the fic is a tad more reliant that other Badland dragons are more impulsive and irrational than on the actual show. It's just how they are. :/
5410959 yea... I think I'm going to revise that section so that it's more realistic. It was late when I typed that and it even seems lacking to me. Outcome will stay the same. Just like a sentence added for spikes dialog.. I honestly just wanted to be done with the main plot setup and get onto the better parts that will be in the next chapter. And thanks for pointing out that error. I was expecting to see someone post something about like ten errors...
5411590 yeah, realistic dialogue is pretty hard to write when you're rushing through it... I would've had Spike explain the situation, that their "teritory" was just in his way, and then after the guy tries to attack him, go all out and say that even if he was a spy, he wouldn't even bother with those losers and their "pitiful excuse for a hoard"... and that error was just the only one I saw, because I wasn't looking for any
PS you know that you can put author's notes in the chapters now: you don't have to put it in a comment
5411634 yea, I added an author's note, but the how spike dealt with the dragon is key to what happens next. It all has a purpose. Oh, and I added a little bit to it, and fixed like 10 errors I found while re-reading it. Capitalization, the occasional wrong word, and editing to make sure I didn't overuse certain words. and geez, I'm not going for 'complete badass' spike, just 'Really doesn't take crap from people, but is still a kind person at heart' spike. sorry if that is how he is coming off. I'll add dialogue at the beginning of next chapter to ease up on that view.
And I'm still contemplating whether to include a certain event in the distant future... should there be a war in the future? Could add a lot of content, but really change the end outcome of the story.
5406718
this
5412126 I figured as much, and aw... I like badass Spike...
but as for the future, it's your story; as long as you can make it all work
This is supposed to be the first fic where the spotlight is on spike, and he actually has kids with a dragoness. The reason why I started this is because I was angry that no one has truly written about it. Something I am still confused about. Seriously? Why has no one tried this?? Any stories that were headed in this direction have been either abandoned or had some crazy turn of events that led away from it.
5412540 Goes from distant spike to all warm and fuzzy in like 3 chapters. And if there is a war, then it could go to badass spike. I will be attempting to play with your heart strings in the near future, so be prepared!!!
More please
About a third done with the next chapter. Hoping to get it out by the end of the day as a 'Jinglemas' present to the lot of you who are following this story. 1.2k words as of right now, and I'm aiming for 3-4k words for this chapter, and I've only had like and hour and a half to type. I'm sure that you will like what happens in the next chapter.
Yea I couldn't get it done in time, but it will be up tonight.
Is she referring to Spike with that last bit? If she is than she is way late. I wonder how she would take it once she hears that Spike has found someone else and why is she dating if that is the case? Though this does raise the question on how the others are doing with Spike gone.
Well done, just a few capitalization errors, but nothing that really damaged the story. Keep it up!
Or else
5430883 yes, it is a direct reference to spike. and that is part of the grand plot when the story reaches the end.
And I think it is time that this could be added to other spike groups. It actually has romance in it now so... it could go in a few different ones.
A good initial plot setup I think. I always felt like Spike was neglected, and he needs to realize that he can't just be an assistant forever. I actually think that bit with Rarity was accurate, at the current time I can't see how Spike still has a crush on Rarity, considering she outright uses his crush to her benefit at times despite knowing it.
Ohh, that was impressive. I like seeing a hardened Spike who doesn't need to take crap from anyone. As long as he stays reasonable about it.
Why would a bowl hurt so much? He takes being stabbed like it's a casual thing when he was a baby, and now a bowl thrown at him can hurt him? That's an iffy spot for me in this story, the fact that Spike was pretty much indestructible in the show, gags not withstanding, and in this he can't even take something falling on him without being in pain. Very jarring, especially after that last chapter.
And, really? She comes into his home, vandalizes it, attacks Spike and generally intrudes, and Spike already accepts a kiss? That last bit makes Rarity think of herself as desperate, but honestly, Spike is the one who comes off as that for me. Might be because he's lived alone for a while, but still.
Sorry about all that, but my brother is an author, and he says that stories need criticism, personal or not, and that's mine.
5431053 it was more so that he wasn't expecting it, and it was another dragon freeking chucking it at him. plus, it is solid marble. its more of the impact momentum that hurt. and also, I saw that part about vandalism and took it out, I hadn't meant to put that in. oh, and nothing ever fell on him.
Overall, things hurt more when you aren't expecting it.
But I'll keep that more in mind when something like that happens in the future.
Oh and as for your first comment, he mostly grew out of it. he still think's she is beautiful and helps her sometimes, but like I stated in the prologue itself, he really isn't in love with her anymore. And he knows that nopony actually loves him, which is why he leaves, along with the "overly distant twilight part".
and yes, spike is extremely lonely, wants to be loved, wants a new home away from the one he is in, and just for you, the reason that happens so quickly is because they are both really lonely/desperate, and besides, that night was more of 'the moment'. Also going to go more into the reasons why Azura is lonely in the next chapter when they get back to the Republics. She has had hard stuff happen to her. I cant tell anyone just what stuff happened to her yet. and things between them slow down in next chapter, like he actually gets to know her, talks more, gets a job, life things.
some things are just saved for later, and make more sense in the end.
but either way, If you have some criticism, at least give some advice to make improvements.
Very good can't wait for more!
Good so far. Do continue please
Ok! Let's continue reading this!
5451436 next chapter will be out most likely tomorrow.
I've been working on three other things, one of which kinda flopped, one that is doing fairly good, and another that I might just commission someone else to end up writing.
This is going to be a story that I have to keep a track on, and you deserve a kudos Spike--you finally got to meet a new dragon (a dragonness even greater!!!) and has shown that she may have some affection for you.
And way to go Spike!!! You just met Azura for the first time, and you got laid---obviously the first time being laid with anyone, whether equine or otherwise. Makes me wonder if it was just a one-time-introduction leading to a extended implied love-making session, and it definitely looks like the two of them grow closer as the story goes. I just hope that it was a throes of passion thing and not of the mating instinct variety for now; there will be plenty of time to think about hatchlings well down the line.
Also, since there is defintely a Dragon empire/nation out there, I have to wonder if any of the ponies have the balls to try to journey there, even if it to try to find Spike. I doubt it though, but the story's just young at the moment. I'm glad that he finally getting some things that he should have been recieved decades ago.
5474275 first off, their night was not based on instinct, just so you know.
And it's a republic, not an empire, so no dragon king and junk like that. I just feel it is way overused to have the dragons run by a king. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
But I'm glad you like it! I'm adding in minor culture things in the next chapter, and most of what you said will be clarified soon. Can't just tell you guys everything right away, right? You wouldn't have to read it if I did!
And there is a lot more about Azura that you will find out next chapter, seeing as it focusses on answering small questions, building Azura's character, and things about the republics.
Well after power reading through the first posted chapters I gladly say this moved from "read it later" to a solid "tracking"...do I dare say, "favorites" soon? So far I think this story is headed in a good direction and I will definitely be looking forward to it. I DID notice some grammar errors but would be hard pressed to go back and find them all...I'm pretty used to just mentally fixing them and moving on. One thing I noticed that irked me just a little (although I could very well be imagining this) but it did seem like you referred to Spike as "Spike" at some odd times i.e... "Spike did this..." Then "Spike did that..." when he was the only character present in the scene or when a full first name just could of sounded better with a simple "he" or "him"...not really a complaint, could just be imagining it since it's super late. But this story does seem to be moving a little...fast. Although I AM a fan of long...long...long stories and chapters! I can tell you have good ideas and a good story to tell, don't be afraid to slow it down and make the readers wait and want the juicy and meaty bits of the story instead of just feeding it to them. I mean just with what's already happened you could of at least gotten an extra chapter or two and added some quality legnth,story building, and character development. I also hope there will some more interaction with the rest of the pony gang if only for a few segments and chapters. But enough of ME telling YOU how to write YOUR story! I shall eagerly await the next chapter!!
5499336 Yea, I do need to revise a few grammar errors and things like that.
A lot of character development happens in the next chapter too. Also, yes, after the next chapter, it jumps back to ponyville to explain their situation. I'm almost done with the next chapter (which is going to end up being like 5k words long), but I'm a bit off track with where I want to be. My schedule has been hard to work with recently so it's difficult to get anything done.
this Rocks!
sorry canterlot voice.
5431285 But it's your story, I don't feel right telling someone how to write their story. Your actual writing is fine apart from those spots, and that's just my opinion for those.
5431161 Errr, nothing fell on him? Here's the words from chapter 2: "As he started to walk away, the bowl, heavily laden with gems, fell on his head, nearly knocking him unconscious."
5598336 when I made that post I didn't realize that that was what he was referring to. Guess I never considered that seeing as it was more of a flashback...
Ok, so I got a new computer, and haven't been able to get Word on it for the past two months... (I don't like using the site's typing platform because it doesn't help too much with grammar) but I'm getting it sometime this week so I can actually keep typing and get this story going again. There is literally 3k words typed that have just been sitting there for all this time because I just haven't been able to type. (my internet also sucks, but it may just be my computer, because it disconnects around every 5 minutes and I cant seem to fix it no matter what I do) and if I could actually type on my phone, I would. Whatever, it's going to get going again soon, so just hold out.
This is really good, but needs editing.
I can't wait for the next chapter. And I'm sorry, but I can't find it in my heart to feel pity for Rarity.
5691793 yea, I need to go back and edit the chapters to fix formatting issues and paragraph spacing. Wasn't exactly sure when I first started how it should look because I only ever read off of my phone.
5691829 I used to have a :P at the end of the last authors note, so it was actually supposed to be sarcastic.
also, I went through and edited the chapters, fixing a few grammar errors, repeat words, and line spacing. so yea. it's a little bit better now, but I still need to find an editor.
PLEASE FINISH THIS I LOVE THIS STORY AND WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FINISH THIS
5749848 I finally got Word for my computer, so I can actually get somewhere. It should be out tomorrow. Story takes a bit of a turn, so be prepared. It's at like 4 k words right now and should end at like 6k.
5750200 THANK YOU