After another failed attempt to get Rarity to notice him, Spike is left with no other choice but to call in a favor from one of his old friends Wishful Thinking and wish himself a way to her heart. Unfortunately, Wishful's magic has a price, usually on Wishful himself.
Can Spike deal with what his wish has caused to happen to his friend? Can Wishful Thinking even survive two days without a mare trying to beat the snot out of him? Read on and find out.
A/N: This was my first Fanfic in a long time and my first pony fanfic in general. So issues and continuity may have shown up and your free to point them out for me to fix.
Image by
*DJSeras
Chapters (15)
Good for a test fic. And for once a spike-to-pony fic makes sense
Keep it going! I quite enjoy the set up. So far it hasnt been a straight up "Spike gets in with Rarity with the help of ect." I enjoy the character Wishful, and maybe if you'd like, I can even pre- read for you if it becomes a bother. Id like to see this prosper.
Oh dear...
So, the all-important question:
What went wrong?
699004 I thought I left enough of a clue but if it didn't fix as I edited it in later then you'll see when I do come back to this.
data.whicdn.com/images/3022561/tumblr_l5mkv1LRdG1qzdyklo1_500_thumb.png
I like how I was reading a comment that explains what was happing and then poof its gone and now im like why does everone hate WT and Spike?
721331 Like I said I think it's explained enough without a spell out. Think carefully and you could see it. Or just wait about 5 days to a week when I return to this since Wishful will explain it to Spike as small details need to be addressed.
721371 Ill wait besides its really good so waiting wont hurt me.
It's magic, I aint gotta 'splain shi*.
Moar!!!
looks legit
Okay now I'm going back to Cog in the machine for a few more chapters. I'm sorry for people who want more updates here but I seem to keep finding great places to stop at each chapter here instead of to keep writing. I only hope that isn't true for you readers or else there is little point to continuing at all since if this chapter wasn't a hint we are going on an adventure soon enough. And by soon I mean 4 or so chapters from now.
Also I'm moving and going on Vacation soon with most of my free time I had to writing going to traveling to work after I move. So don't expect any more chapters of this for about a month. Hopefully less since I will try to write some stuff on my Vacation but it has no internet and I'll be out for two weeks then if I even bring my lap top.
Sorry the Chapter sucks more than usual. Had to set up everything for:
This story is AWESOME
So... he plans to kill himself? It wasn't really clear.
1531925
Backup plan.
Adventure to avoid but if he dies trying spike is still good.
1532622 Ah, but, although it's possible I missed it, why the adventure would solve the problem wasn't really explained.
1533260 It was hinted but I never made clear which I will when I get around to the next chapter.
For now if you look back Wishful is still unsure how much power the spell needs because Spike would sill have a issue with magic and he'd need to wait a full month without using any of his own to even attempt things.
So whatever it is I'm sending them to get it is needed to bolster magic power.
1533813 Makes sense.
Backfire by: Deadsteeledwardelric I made you an updated cover picture like you asked :) took me a while to get around to it, sorry :/, but here ya go!
1616853 Thank you
Technically speaking, the correct way to spell it is 'doughnut'.
Spike sat there taking one donut after another. Donut Joe had decided to give him a huge batch this time so that he could handle the other customer’s orders without having a fight with Spike about having that much sugar in his system that would be in vain. He had long since given up after the last time the little guy had stormed in during the Grand Galloping Gala and only Twilight seemed to stop him by way of undoing the depression.
This paragraph is very awkwardly written, I would suggest changing it as follows:
Spike was sitting at the bar inhaling one doughnut after another. Pony Joe had decided it would save time to simply give him an extra large batch. That way, he would have time to attend to the other customers without having to get into their usual fight about Spike getting too much sugar. Unlike when spike had stormed in during the Grand Galloping Gala, Twilight was not going to be there to stop him.
If you do make the above recommended changes, also remove the first sentence of the second paragraph.
Also this sentence has a grammatical error and a little awkward phrasing:
So Joe was forced called for a different friend both he and Spike shared to come pick him up after he passed out halfway through a 40th crispy cream and lay flat on his back covered in jelly from a few that fell from the pile.
Suggestion:
So Joe was forced to call upon a mutual friend to pick up spike after he passed out during his 40th one.
move the "covered in jelly" part to here:
Wishful looked down at Spike, who was covered in jelly from a few that rolled off the plate when he passed out. The sugar coma was clear to him so he just looked back up to Joe.
His baggy eyes blinked a lot to stay awake with the sky blue of them and his light brown mane and tail were shaggy from not brushing before heading over.
I had to read through that sentence a couple of times to get what was being said. The following would flow a bit better:
He was blinking his drooping, sky blue eyes trying to stay awake as he tussled his brown mane, which was shaggy for a lack of brushing.
“I can help, you know.”
There needs to be a comma in this sentence (added to show).
The place was packed for some reason. He didn’t know why so he asked Joe.
I think you should actually have him ask, instead of making it assumed. It would also help to show his personality if you did. Also, this could be one sentence (example altered to allow for the above suggestion):
The place was packed for some reason, not knowing why he decided to ask Joe.
Two them began cleaning up Spike’s mess quickly and the others went to table to get orders so Joe could focus on making the right donuts.
Two them quickly began cleaning up Spike’s mess while the others went from table to table getting orders and collecting dishes so Joe could focus on making the right doughnuts.
“That’s your second favor SD.
Where are you getting 'SD' from?
I didn't intend to do that much when I started this comment...
Edit: I left out some stuff, but you get the idea (I hope).
1636989 I do and the funny part is I've actually both rewritten the chapter before posting it and edited it twice since and it still this shitty. Beware the rest of the story.
1636989 as for where I got SD, early on I thought something Wishful would do was just use initials instead of names when he could SD for Spike the dragon. TS for Twilight excrete
1636989 finally made some of those changes. I still need to re-read this but I figure I'll do that next year when it comes time to make another chapter. Thanks for the input.
Spike and Twilight's sibling behavior felt very genuine, and Spike's sarcasm was spot on and amusing. Nicely done.
Not the Bumble! Nooooooooooo!
2069743 Don't feel too bad, from the ashes of this, Like Peewee, I will do what I did to my other cancelled works after "Cog in the Machine is done"
Updated rewrites.
The main issue I had here was nothing really explained I tried but I personally don't like a single chapter since "Twilight's Feelings" till the Bumble chapter. Dirt was a decent scene, but wasn't even really a chapter and could be skipped. so I'm just going to need to fix this from the ground up if I come back to it at all. It will be a new story of a sort, one with more thought put into it. But I can't guarentee it will come out which is why I had to put it out for now. Only time will tell if it will raise from the ashes better than ever.
2069894 I'll see. Problem is that in all seriousness there are Far too many hurdles for it to be realistic. so I enjoy stories that touch on the fact Rarity knows about the crush and could like him back, but realizes said hurdles and doesn't use them and having Spike grow up seeing them as well.
If you notice it was partly why Wishful was okay with this all. He thought Spike would do just a simple pony wish and he'd be a foal but could grow up and yadda yadda. and thus that got screwed up.
Oh I should probably state I changed my DA name from Deadsteeledwardelric to DJSeras, much easier and original :)
Brilliant.Simply brilliant.
I would have preferred an ending,but I guess I can go with a re-write to.
Until then,i'm waiting!
He hated owning favors anyway
That's funny, most people like owning favors, but hate owing them
There aren't too many ways to word that wish, in this case even taking the WAS literally wouldn't necessarily mean the relationship was in the past.
Now if he'd said 'Make me a sandwich', hilarity would ensue XD
I'm waiting for you, you know.
Ah I get it since Spike was never a dragon he never went with the dragons during the migration. Therefore he never went with them to the Phoenix nest. So therefore he never got Peewee. Very smart
What's Twi's problem??
Guess she really gave him lip didn't she?