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Comments ( 669 )
What would you have done? Would you have executed the changeling? Would you send her to the Everfree Forest? Let me know in the comments.
I think you might be the one person who posts more random crap than me. ![]()
I'd have done exactly what Celestia ended up doing. And oh btw, this is amazing. I'm so following this one. <3
Awww, how cute. ![]()
It's just a child, and it's not Sin's fault that changelings tried to invade Canterlot.
Besides that i wonder how one just pops up in the dungeon (the guards were very eager to just kill it so they probably would have done so where they found it
).
If you ever find yourself without any good writing ideas, or are looking for something fresh, feel free to hit me up. I have a pretty large cache of things I've deemed tossed-aside or unwritable that I'd be willing to lend you. I usually share this information with people I've decided are capable enough writers that won't mess up my ideas or execute them poorly. Though idea-sharing might not be your cup of tea, you can at least be flattered that I offered.
>>1307828 Oh, highly flattered, believe me. I'd be more than delighted to hear some ideas. As an idealist, my main enjoyment in life is to speculate thoughts, opinions, and possibilities, which led me to the interest of the multiverse theory. (Here we go again... No, I won't.) Any who, this was just a rough thought and a quick, random, simple fiction that has yet to be fully thought out.![]()
Little do they know, there's another changeling in Ponyville who's absolutely h armless. Unless provoked, that is.
It is indeed a hard decision to make. Executing the changeling would be committing an act of murder because, the aforementioned has not done anything wrong. But it is changeling nature to be a scourge to those who show and express love, and of course that may be seen as a reason for execution. Banishing the changeling, to me, would be committing the sin of omission. because you aren't doing anything to improve the situation in anyway.
Personally though, I'd still have done what Princess Celestia did, as I feel that violence is often not justified.
Celestia for sure will kill any other changelings if it wasn't cute hohoho
In real life, I'm pro death penalty but I don't think I could execute a little changeling barely past the grub stage.
I will not criticize this story for its internal content. The moral contained within is just. However, I will say that this story is the epitome of the assumption concerning the changelings that the fanbase as a whole accepts as truth. I have for some time been piecing together a story of my own, and I have been debating whether or not to write it. Yet this has now compelled me to make a decision. I needs must produce my own assumption of the nature of the changelings, and counter this dogma which has been almost unanimously accepted.
Given that I have meditated on this story night and day, and have a partially completed outline for it (it being the size of an epic), I do not want to be too explicit, lest someone else take the idea and write a story story about it in a few days and make all of my hard work be in vain. Though I will say this: In war, the demonization of the opposing side is inevitable, but such conceptions are not always true.
My compliments to you on a story well written though despite my disagreement with part of its base. You might have been able to draw it out a bit more. I'm not sure if you were going for a logos or a pathos approach, but it seems to me like you intended to take the latter. If my assumption is correct, you did well, but a little more detail would have furthered your point.
I would have killed it. Changelings are manipulative little bastards, and being an innocent little filly is one of the best ways to garner sympathy from the soft little ponies. What could be a more perfect disguise? Change into a pony, let yourself get caught, then turn yourself into a changeling nymph and act sweet and innocent. The ponies will fall for it hook, line and sinker, and then wake up one night with slit throats and the kingdom taken over.
Unless, of course, you purge every changeling that dares enter your realm. Including the 'baby' ones, because it's a race of fething shapeshifters and master manipulators and you have no idea if you're looking at their true form or not.
>>1308078 Ah, but the changeling filly has yet to commit any serious crime, and who's to say that once she is grown with the guidance if the princess that she will still be a evil, blood sucking monster? We don't know, and this is extraordinarily debatable! It's an interesting concept to think about, and your opinion might change later on in the story.
it kind of the same question in the hell boy series. Hell boy is a demon , but he fights against them.
Who's to say she isn't a monster right now? The life of a single filly is hardly worth the risk involved with taking her in. I'm just talking about first impressions, of course; if Celestia risks taking in a changeling and it works out in the end, great, but it's irresponsible to take that risk in the first place. If she's right, that's an ally for Equestria, but if she's wrong about the changeling then she or other important ponies could die. It isn't worth the risk.
This is, indeed, a lot of fun ;p
Very pretty cover image.
Will watch and see where it goes![]()
You know, truthfully, i would want to take care of a Changeling.
Since Celestia really isn't affected by any time constraints, I'd say spare the filly, raise it, and find out whether or not you can co-exist with them eventually.
If not, exterminating the entire race is still a perfectly viable option.
you want my honest opinion. i would have had either rainbow dash or twilight charged with taking care of the changeling nymph.
cheers![]()
Good Celestia. You may live another day.![]()
(Never take me seriously when I threaten the solar princess)
I would of course be welcoming and see if she would respond in kind.
Then I would either confine her somewhere or take care of her. And that is not the thug slang.
And another fic gets added to the list.![]()
To answer the question posed, without reading the chapter, I would spare it. What I would do with it beyond that would vary greatly depending on far more factors than I'm willing to list at the moment.![]()
>>1308658 This one, much like When You Were Young will change your perspective of the originally though and assumed villain.
still your #1 fan, and still LOVE THE HELL OUT OF EVERYTHING YOU WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>1308017 But from what I've seen of most fanfics with Changelings, nearly every story has some changelings that are good. Many feature Chrysalis as the primary driving force behind the invasion, and after the failure the others abandon her, and blame her for the grab for control when they would have been happy gaining love by merely pretending to be ponies, using stealth and cunning.
And also, as far as the show canon, we are seeing it as impartial third-party observers. We must assume invasion happened exactly as shown; given that, I can accept the many stories that show Chrysalis as the instigator. From her own words, she openly admits orchestrating the entire invasion. How intelligent the other changelings are is currently unknown. They are clearly sapient to some degree as they are capable of undertsanding speech and acting in something of an independent manner (the Changeling that Pinkie toyed with), but the extent of that intellect and freedom of will is still left for debate.
Now, as for the moral, I don't see any difficulty here at all. The ponies have no true idea of the nature of changelings, and this one has as yet done no harm. The just thing to do would be to attempt to raise it and instill pony values. If it still ends up turning to the ways of wickedness and cruelty, then one can assume evil is simply genetically ingrained into their very essence.
I love the concept, but the chapter is far too rushed. Not to mention, the beginning of the chapter is incredibly coincidental.
Celestia declares her death penalty and then, coincidentally, there's a changeling in the dungeon. This convenience of plot ruins immersion. The opening could be a lot better if, perhaps, it started in the dungeon, and described the situation without directly saying what is in there, creating a minor sense of mystery. Then a flashback would tell us what Celestia had declared to the press (without stating exactly when she said that, leaving it up to the viewer to decide). A non linear opening is more interesting and, more importantly, avoids that coincidental plot point. But what to take away from this, is to consider how your plot points connect with each other, from one to the next, as well as the pacing of the chapter and story as a whole.
Your descriptive language lacks depth too, for example "...and let the very tip slide in..." this tells us only the basic information, but makes no mention of the 'how', nor the emotion of the scene or action. That whole paragraph is far too uninvolved, and not emotional enough. You could write it so much better, really get us to feel something with this scene, but you haven't. It's cold, and shows us very little. Celestia is actively hurting a baby, and considering murdering it. Emphasize it!. Yes, you mention she is baffled, and that her morals and conscience stop her from going through with it, but it's just so...basic. I know you describe the changeling as crying before and after, but lack any description of it as Celestia pokes it with a sword, enough to draw blood. A baby can really cry when it's hurt. It's a poor omission.
A minor complaint, but something that irked me: the guard talks to her with an odd familiarity and a startling lack of respect, and doesn't particularly feel believable. Why does he seem to know more than Celestia does? While it's possible to have a Guard OC that is familiar with the princess and can talk to her like that, it feels abrupt and inelegant here. Again, if it all weren't so rushed, you could set up such a guard OC with some more fleshing out of their interactions.
This is important: you state the dungeon floor as 'concrete', when flagstones would be more correct. Concrete really is a little too modern. While concrete mixing isn't strictly a modern invention, it's the word that's important. What do people think of when they hear 'concrete' as opposed to 'flagstones'? Flagstones are old and convey images of castles etc. Concrete doesn't. Words and their connotations are very important.
If you want the floor to be modern and concrete, do so for a good reason. Otherwise, there is very little description of the 'dungeon'. All we have to go in is the word 'dungeon', so we are forced to use the stereotype of a medieval dungeon. That's fine, but now 'concrete' is anachronistic too, as well thematically confusing.
The power of a single word.
And I mention all this because it, again, ruined my immersion. In all forms of good entertainment, immersion is key.
"The only reason other changelings turned out like fiends was because of Chrysalis always torturing their minds with lies and propaganda" I kind of have to contend this. While you certainly have artistic license in your fic, the changelings are, by nature and mythology, evil because they feed on the love one has for the person the changeling has replaced and killed. It is written into their nature. The interesting concept in this fic is how 'Sin' would have to deal with this, a story of Nature vs Nurture. It has little to do with lies and propaganda. It's a matter of surviving or starving.
It's more a preference on my part, but 'Sin'? For a name? Celestia doesn't strike me as the type to give a name that laden with negative connotation. At best it lacks subtlety and at worst it borders on Mary Sue. But considering it's the name of the fic too, it's not really something you could work on without an overhaul. Though I would strongly suggest coming up with a different name.
That last paragraph is not only a laden with assumption, but it's a huge amount of 'Telling' instead of 'Showing'. The rule is 'Show, Don't Tell'. You give us a lot of information without any evidence. You could, instead, end the chapter before that paragraph, or write something else, and in the next chapter show us the time skip, and then show us how different ponies treat her, and explain to us through character interaction how Canterlot reacts to her.
Like I said, the concept is great. It's basically The Jungle Book, except Mowgli is a Changeling. Bagheera/Baloo is Celestia. And MLP flavoured, which is great. But right now, it's not reaching the potential greatness it could have. From a literary standpoint, you need to work on your descriptions of scenes and your word choices and the emotional connotations they have for the reader, Pacing, and the rule of 'Show Don't Tell'.
I say all of this as constructive criticism, and mean no offense, even if anything I wrote sounds like it. I know most fanfic authors write for fun, but if you want to continue writing and getting better, I hope my points have some merit to them for you.
I would do as Princess Celestia had done. The logic behind this is simple.
1) Though Changelings can change themselves into another pony they cannot change their size. This falls under a minor rule of size to mass. If something is four hundred pounds and you make it ten pounds where does the extra three hundred and nine pounds go? It has to go someplace so a Changeling turning into a younger version of itself be impossible meaning if this looks like a changeling foal it is a changeling foal.
2) Since it is a foal it has not committed any crimes to the kingdom so a death penalty be pointless and seen by the princess as willful murder. Also since Changelings can make themselves into other ponies, who is not to say that this too would cause issues for the kingdom as well. There would be a very possible Salem Witch Hunt, changeling style, resulting in many innocent ponies losing their lives. This is not what the Princess would want. Sending it to the Everfree Forest is also unneeded and would be seen as cruel in the Princess' eyes if one thinks on it. This is a foal and sending it to a place where it can barely survive is also not what the Princess would want. Also as stated by the guard, if it does survive it would possibly return in anger with an army of it's own. It would be best to prevent this now than later.
3) The most important by far of my logic is this. Influence. This Changeling is a foal so it can grow and learn to be good and friendly under Celestia's teachings and care unlike with Chrysalis who teach the changeling foal hate and anger and that love is the only food they can have.
I am unsure if Changelings can actually eat the same food as Ponies, though this is kind of up in the air for me personally, it is worth a shot.
Again I would do as Celestia did and take the foal in.
I really like this story , its well writen and makes you want to cry
.
and Harry potter reference?
Your highness,” he said in shock. “There’s… a changeling! In the dungeon… Hurry!”
I will personally inter-slap anyone who would kill a child of any race simply because of what it could do. Think about what you do in your day to day life, if you were insane, or had no morals, how many opportunities to you have in one day to kill people. But you don't, because you were brought up better than that.
as for the changeling I'd burn it with fire I SAID LOVE AND TOLERATE!
Truely the greatest casualty in war is the innocent. ![]()
I would've done the same thing Celestia end up doing.![]()
>>1309186 I'm glad you can appreciate constructive criticism!
One thing I just remembered, be careful of being an Omniscient Narrator. Using the same example I cited above "The only reason other changelings turned out like fiends was because of Chrysalis always torturing their minds with lies and propaganda" In this paragraph we are reading Celestia's thoughts, but how would Celestia know that about Chrysalis? Celestia only met her once. You know, as the author, but the character doesn't. Don't let your omniscience seep into the characters' thoughts, words or knowledge, you need to really get into the characters mind, and write them as the character not as the author.
I'd be happy to leave some criticism on future chapters, although I may not always be expedient about it.
I would've pretty much done the same... raised it as my own. It won't be accepted in the community, but they can go buck themselves and leave me and my Changeling alone
Yeesh. You spew fanfics faster than Twilight writes letters when she learns that the more letters she sends, the more "credit" she gets. If you get the metaphor ![]()
At least they're bloody well done and not just "Let's go slam my face against my keaybo-I mean write a fanfic!"
I don't normally watch people due to erm... personal thingies and morals and other jargon I don't feel like going into, but you deserve it (as if my watch matters in the first place! Woohoo being insignificant in comparison to everypony else!) ![]()
Hope you like panda's and cheese :3
You need to pat yourself on the back ![]()
The needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few, although just because a country invades another country doesn't mean should then kill everyone from country for what their goverment did, same goes for the changlings that most were either brought up to be vicious and evil and didn't really have a choice.
Is this a one-shot or will their be more?
Kill them all?
A bit overreactive and out of character for Celestia, but still a great story idea ![]()
I would have forced Twilight Sparkle to adopt her, because making Twilight's life miserable is my main job as Princess. ![]()
Also, that way she could be accidentally killed during one of Twilight's experiments without any blood on my hooves.
anyone who answers "kill it" should seriously reexamine their ethics.
Its clear from this story that its unknown whether changelings are always/inherently evil. Even if that is the case, if they are always evil and have to hurt ponies to survive, killing a child is a very shaky thing in any sane moral system.
As soon as even one of these two things might not be true, its murder of an innocent and nothing else.
Killing somepony just because they are gonna have a from you differing moral outlook when they grow up is still wrong, and even a completly cold/emotionless being can live in a society productively because they can recognize the mutual benefits.
On the other hand one who can be moral/sane by pony standards, even if they have to drain liffeforce from ponies to survive, can live there, assuming noone has to be maimed or killed. They could survive on willing/bought "donations", as long as noone is drained to the point they take serious damage (also i would assume that as a sun (demi(?))goddess celestia can easily weather the drain of a single foal without being affected much)
Within this story, its unknown, and the exact nature of changelings might be far more potentially benign than that. (Also i would think an inherently evil race fits in no way with the underlying theme of Mlp:fim)
I seriously hope those who advocate murder or even genocide on base of incomplete information and assumptions think for a minute.
EDIT: i just realized that this sounds like im accusing the author because its responding to him, didnt mean that just answering his questions. he/celestia made a right choice.
Would I spare the changeling, or kill it...
...
...
...
Good question. But, here's a better one. What's the obvious answer that most people want to hear? And an even BETTER question than that one is this,
Why should I honestly give a fuck?
As for your story itself you can have these 3 things. A fav, a thumbs up, and this super unique emote.
This is a very interesting story. It states that the story is "incomplete". I wonder, will there be more of Sin?
One can only wonder...
So... Is this basically Past Sins, but with Celestia instead of Twilight? ![]()
Well, if it means meaningful and realistic character exposition for Celestia, I'm game.
I'm arguing that we don't know it's a child. One of the best ways for a con man to do his magic is to make the person he's conning accept basic premises that aren't true. The classic three-cup trick, where the con man palms the ball at the right time, is an example; the person getting conned thinks there's a ball there and that there's a chance to win. Here, we're presented with a dilemma: a changeling baby, innocent and free of the taint the rest of its kind has. With a race of shapeshifters, who's to say that this little baby is what it seems? We're all assuming we're talking about a child, but there's always the chance that the changelings have conned us into assuming that we're looking at the truth. When your enemy can assume any form it wants, you can't take risks and you can't let your guard down. Crush any chance the changelings have to infiltrate you, and for the love of the Sun don't adopt one as your surrogate daughter.
Are you seriously arguing for murdering a child because it "might" be evil?
Asuming changelings are as dangerous as you claim (ok, the damaged canterlot enough to make that true). ok, shapeshifters = dangerous, i get that. even assuming there is absolutely no way to determine such things (and given that twilight sparkle was able to dispel the transformation of one that is very shaky) the moment you start murdering innocents and children because they might be shapshifted evils, the moment start genociding a species because of the actions of their leader and some of their mebers, the moment you start the witchhunt your effectively proposing, the chnagelings have to do nothing, because you already destroyed equestria in every way that matters.
I can see an argument for something suspicious not being in the palace /right next to the princess, but killing someone because of what they might become or because you just "suspect" them of being enemies... NO. just no.
Also if changelings are so uber dangerous, why the hell that form? why not a pony foal?n a changeling foal at anything stands out, and would be under total suspicion, not the place you want to be as an infiltrator. Also there was no way they could have forseen ending up next to the princess.
If the changelings are really that dangerous (can take form of anyone, cannot be detected, could be anyone, all the time) your probably doomed anyway.
Even at ones most paranoid, nad under threat from insanely dangerous demonic shapeshifters, id argue that anything worse than locking it up and keeping it away from critical things and other children falls between needless cruelty and active evil.
I'll be frank, when it comes to a crime I am 100% pro "Reap what you sow". If you perform a crime, equal and FAIR punisment must be dealt.
However, to place that punishment on the hands- er... hooves of one who has done nothing, simply on the basis of that he/she's the same species and therefore will perform the same way as the others, goes against that very belief intirely!
Plus to take the life of a child, and one that is still a BABY, unspoiled and untouched by a corrupted upbringing no less, is to destroy life ITSELF, and that is a crime that will NEVER be forgiven!
Thus, I truly beleive that Celestia did the right thing, and for good or for bad, she can take pride in that.
I can say that I would've done the same thing... well, not really, I rather would've found a better home for it instead, but it's close enough.![]()
I'm shocked that Celestia would even entertain the suggestion of slaughtering a wailing, harmless little filly. Everything we've seen about her character leads me to believe she's nothing if not kindness and forgiveness incarnate. While that benevolence would never extend so far as to risk the safety of her subjects, I certainly cannot see her preemptively murdering an admittedly harmless creature who just happens to be of the same tribe as a current enemy.
As for what I would do; I would raise the filly as my own, being sure to let her know what she is and the precise circumstances regarding her adoption. I would love her and try to raise her to the best of my ability, wishing nothing more than for my daughter to grow up happy and healthy. ![]()
...Just gonna say... I don't think naming any child Sin is a good move, especially a young changeling. It sends the wrong message to everyone(pony) else, as well as to the foal(?) itself.
>.>
In other words, Celestia is doing terrible at this parenting business so far. ![]()
The majority seemed to believe she could possibly grow up to be a good, well behaved pony. I thank each of you for your personal opinions.
So, if you ended up on an alien planet, would you think they should "snuff" you "out", because its safer?
What exactly is "your own kind" and are you sure you dont stumble into something aproaching racism at this point?
In case the other side is so dangerous, do you think killing a child is the "safest" decision, and not just likely to spark more conflict?
Does it occur to anyone here that there are things and courses of action in between "leave our guard down completly" and "murder it on the spot?
Are you really aware that you are arguing for murdering children as the right thing to do?
You're quoting this argument, but it doesn't make much sense when you really look at it.
1) Changelings can change thier size. A single changeling assumed the forms of every one of the Mane Six, and don't you tell me that they all have the same spacial dimensions and mass. The most reasonable conclusion is magic; perhaps it changes their physical body, although it would obviously be limited by the ability of the changeling in question. The more skilled the changeling, the larger the array of transformation; a random drone has the power to change slightly to assume different body types, while Chrysalis might be able to manage much more dramatic transformations. In any case this is speculation; you're wrong, at least slightly, because a single changeling can assume the form of multiple different ponies.
2) I've already argued that, as a changeling, there's no guarantee that it is a child, and there's nothing that has proved otherwise.
3) Again, assuming this is a child, and one not already influenced by its changeling parents.
In order for Equestria to exist, somewhere along the line, there has to be a pony who puts her hoof down and does the unpleasant so that this utopia can continue to function. The changelings are the only thing that has ever damaged Canterlot in the show, and show excellent infiltration and deceit tactics. The only reason they didn't take Canterlot is through Chrysalis' stupidity; if she had an ounce of sense, Cadence would have died in those caves, she would have married Shining, then the invasion would happen, after Celly and Luna were removed by a decent amount of backstabbing. Equestria needs something to counter them or they're all going to die; mind probing, secret passphrases, something other than praying that the changelings continue to be led by an incompetent idiot.
If this changeling is an agent and not an innocent, I'm assuming it was hoping to get in the good graces of the first gullable pony to come along, get an easy meal, and continue on, but got an amzing stroke of luck when Celly found it and managed to guile her with its innocent act. A real foal would have had parents, an orphanage, or something to identify its life, details that a changeling would have had to come up with and backed up with details, a dangerous prospect indeed.
Wait this is like a pick your own adventure story where the most commented one wins? (hence the adventure tag when there isnt much of a grand journey into unknown parts involved?
)
Another update? On the same day?
What madness is this?
BTW, good chapter! Hope to see more soon!
Don't put words in my mouth, but yes. I would expect an alien planet to snuff me out if I was a threat, heck even if I wasn't one I'd expect it. Now I'm not racist, but I would say I'm species-ist. Part of my existence is to assist with prolonging the species, a duty that requires I eliminate anything that threatens it.
I will admit this though: morally, I must not kill it or anything for that matter. Morally, I'm obligated to just let it be the master of its own fate. Morally, I do have to turn my back and simply trust it won't stab me in the back; however, I'm not a perfect person. I know what I'd do because I know who I am. I'd be glad if I could honestly say I'd make the honest to goodness moral decision, but the stronger part of me would rather end this before it potentially starts.
Yes, a perfect utopia is unlikely to work without some points were you have to be somewhat less idealistic for a bit, but there are degrees and limits. Apart from the point were i would argue that discord certaily caused some damage (even when because of his reality warping or the elements of harmony it fixes itself).
But theres a difference. What we need isnt a police state witchunt or a climate comparabke to robespierre in the french revolution "off with his head". What we need is a way of identifing changelings. And, im pretty sure we have that. Twilight was able to dispel the transformation of one, so why not throw that spell at the foal, set up a bunch of chekpoints with a unicorn that can cast it?
If the changelings are as much a active threat as you claim, then, to be honest, equestria as we know it is lost. the amount of paranoia, control, etc required to counter them aproaches 1984 or WH40k levels, and in that situation you cannot go on to pretend you are an utopia. However, since changeling invasions apparently dont happen daily, they were gotten rid of without too much damage, they barely managed to take one city for a few minutes, were really lucky that luna wasnt there, can probably identified with some spell/method etc. i would say you vastly exaggerate the threat they pose, in order to transform equestria into a child murdering, witchunting, ultra paranoid dystopia.
If that is was necessary for ponykind to survive, if things are that bad, one might start to argue for releasing discord because he will likely improve the world overall. Forgoing the argument that authorial intent etc this is a more idealistic setting, celestia would never allow that to happen. So in your "setting", equestria in any recognizable form is completly doomed, and i dont think that is true. But even then, murdering children is still morally wrong.
>>1307757 I probably wouldn't have, but if I know anything about Celestia... SHE WOULND"T HAVE SAID SHE WOULD EXECUTE A CHANGELING IN THE FIRST PLACE... I like the premise of the story, but the celestia being presented is so out of character from how I imagine her. That's IMO though, and you can do whatever you want with it.
Honest, at least. And admitting you are morally wrong. However, i would argue that even logial, you course is not the best. Also, i would say that sometimes, people like you are exactly whats wrong with the world. But, if you admit that your actions are not morally sound, theres little use, or rather little necessity, arguing morality. What i would say is that in this specific case, equestria exists in a world with at least 5, possibly much more, different sentient species. They have existed semi peacefully ina somewhat harmonius state for a while, so here within the context of equestria you actions might not only be morally wrong, but also against the best interests of both yourself and your species. If the others (gryphons, dragons, Zebras and so on) see equestria become xenophobic/specicist, you pretty much invite them to team up against you.
So again, the action would be wrong both morally, and from a ruthlessly specicist perspective.
Also, again, whats wrong with the middle (cautious but not child-murderingly evil) approach?
Also, i find it somewhat disturbing that you jump directly from "potential threat" to "exterminate it". Seems to me, as i said, in an enviroment with many alien species to just lead to you being eliminated for being a danger to everyone else who would coexist peacefully.







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