A Changeling Named Sin
Running from the Living and Chasing the Dead
Through thick branches and twigs, Sin ran with sweat and justly escaping tears slipping down her face. The guards chased her like hounds from hell, trying their best to catch the pony and return her to the place she mustn’t ever lay eyes upon again. Mud splashed as she quickened her pace to the best of her abilities. Things became foggy with smoke rising from the rough terrain her hoof kicked up with every trot.
Her vision blurred as trees became seemingly repetitive, vertical lines that passed by her sight, making the changeling become confused towards where she was going, and how she became lost in the forest to begin with. What started out as a seemingly well-lit trail she followed somehow became a circled death trap, and all she could do was continue galloping for not only her life, but her pursuer's as well.
Just when she thought safety had been reached, seeing a clearing that might give her some flying room, she slid to a halt, and stared at the immensely large boulder that blocked the remainder of her path. The treetops shaded the surrounding area, making small holes in the soil. Her teeth gritted, “No! Not now…”
Turning to see all the scouters approach from the small patches of moss, spears at the ready, and expressing somewhat relieved but still annoyed gestures, she gulped in terror of the possible outcomes. No room and no time to prepare for fly meant she was completely cornered. There was no escaping this, it seemed. Her only thought was the death of her friend. The way he blatantly committed suicide forced her to think all these ponies were going to eventually do the same thing he did.
The leader, a helmeted pony with jade eyes approached, and asked, “Are you alright, your highness?” No answer, just her backing up into the rock that shielded her way. “Please, we need you to return to the palace. Princess Celestia is worried about you… Why did you run? Where were you planning on going?”
The mare looked around and began to see it; the aura of energy she required to live, but hated to consume. Slowly, purple haze of shimmering, smoky energy left the stallion's bodies. Some were blue, which meant not all loved her, but still enjoyed her existence. Either the heat was getting to her, or the spirit of her friend, Silver Blade, was calling out to her. Behind the parade of royal Canterlot soldiers was a translucent being, young and well.
Silver looked at her, inflicting pain in her chest. Her woozy head felt light, almost as if she couldn’t focus on the actual world, but instead, just her mind. Inside, images raced, the thought of killing all those ponies, forcing them into committing suicide, all of them, giving their energy to her without her approval, destruction, madness, eternal pain; it all relapsed inside her head, and just when things became too much to handle, everything went yellow.
Her eyes opened, something that scared everypony as she did. Beaming radiance of unimaginably golden luminosity bursted from her eyes, and soon, the shimmering phenomenon was seen pouring from her hooves. Light, the kind that could blind a poor soul shined from the changeling’s vision, holes and mane. Some guards tried to shield their eyes while bafflement overcame each of them.
Soon, the mare’s wings hummed and lifted her entire being up from the ground. Her mane looked like it was underneath water while levitating strands hovered like seaweed, and in one moment, her horn flashed once, but it was enough to send a dense orb expanding outward towards the crowd. The moment it touched each guard, they fell.
Thuds of impacts sounded like a drum roll, and once all were lying in the grass, all motionless, Sin lowered herself. She landed with grace, opened her eyes, and stared at the sight of thirty or forty of her friends, all seemingly asleep. Her hoof rose to the mouth of the leader, waited, and felt his breath upon her fur. Relieved by this, she looked around, pondering what had happened.
Never had energy like this emerged from her heart. The feeling of power and aptitude was unreal. The overflow brought chills through her spine, and after she looked around, her saw Silver again, still staring at her from behind the shrubs of trees. She chased him, following the ghost as if she wasn’t going to survive without it. She felt stronger, more agile than before, but why? She was exhausted not ten minutes prior to now. Where did that burst of power come from, and why did she get an immense energy boost from it?
She asked herself questions like the answers were to rise up from Silver's grave. Soon, he was too far despite her amazing speed. Coming to a small, hasted trot, her vision observed the woods. The wildlife was nothing more than the same lines of bark that surrounded her. Things fell into the void of speculation once again. The power she felt was undeniably amazing, and random... Or, maybe not.
Her mind thought about how it came to pass, and the feelings she felt just before the incident occurred. Fear for her friends, a longing to somehow protect them from her, and how much she just wished for them all too… fall asleep. It was as if her mind crafted what she wanted, and given the situation she was in, power, dormant and secret released itself when she needed it most.
“Absurd!” she told herself. Madness is sometimes a good thing, for it keeps many on edge during harsh times. The first stages are talking to yourself, but if your intentions are good, why worry much about your conscious status? “I’m not magically skilled the way my mother is, nor her sister… How did this strength come to be? It doesn’t make sense… I’m a changeling, that means I live on love… but I haven’t feasted for a while. How can I possibly still feel energetic? This isn’t adding up… I need answers.”
The walk through the shades of leaves above head became an unruly stress for her, all because answers weren’t presented. Revelations would clear her mind of the headache for sure, but what other questions would arise once she received her answers? She knew things were never that easy. With every antiphon came a new mental interrogation. The process is repetitive, and never stops, no matter how much one wants it to.
Lines of light, visible thanks to the dusty dirt that lofted from the forest ground fell through the open spacing in the trees, and Sin, on the edge of losing her focus, heard humming noises coming from behind the bushes. Two sad and hurt voices in rhythmic unison chanted a song that was almost heart shattering. The changeling peered her head around to see an ash colored being with her back facing the mare. Her straggly mane resembled bog moss, and the holes in her hooves immediately brought about a deep phobia of who this must be within Sin's mind.
This mare’s head slowly rose, and turned to reveal an old, wrinkled changeling queen, ready for fate to take her soul to the next plane of existence. Her eyes, white and blind looked around for her daughter, wondering if she imagined the trotting of hooves. Slowly, with a broken, scratched voice, she muttered, “Cocoon… Is that you?”
Chrysalis had said Sin’s real, birth name, making things even harder for the golden maned mare. Her real mother, the one who truly brought her into the world was sitting, decrepit and just barely alive right in front of her. Would she be able to answer some of these enigmas that swirl through the princess’s head, or make matters worse for her, or even hazardous, do both at the same time?
Ohhhh dear. Something tells me, bad is about to happen
I wonder if Sin is the biological daughter of Queen Chrysalis and the Queen wants her back... with Celestia holding onto her child, even though her child is a changeling (whose existence in Equestria is like a mistake...)... Can this story get any sadder?!
Update?!?!?! OMBG! YES!!! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_beam.png
1451049 Yus. Wait till next chapter... you may wish to not view it... It may need to be bumped up to teen.
Much too short, just to increase the tension of the story.
1451061 Quality, not quantity. Have you not realized that very little happens in each chapter?
1451064
What bothers me is the cut on the most exciting point. If you could have also added the next 1200 words, that would be just plain better.
1451058
Let's just hope this will have a happy ending
*Dips on Sin becoming an alicorn
1451088
But then there wouldn't be any cliff hangers for you to come back to. And still read this story.
A dying Chrysalis just happens to be where Sin is wandering? Call me Greek but, Deus ex machina. I hope you intend to explain how Chrysalis got there in future chapters.
1451122 This guy... he understands it!
Buckle up, things are about to get expisioned... It's a word. Look ot up... Or don't. That would be preferable.
1451122
I am waiting for the completion of "Equestria's Twilight".
More cliffhanging isn't possible and I've still hope
1451289
What are you talking about?
1451289 Wow... just... wow...
....oh fuuuuuuck man
time for crying!
Good chapter.
Best chapter so far! Keep it up, Art!
Oh no.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_bronymaster1.png <(Dunno what happens next, will just continue living on and do not let the cliffhangers ruin me)
1452182 Yeah, good luck with that!
How the hell should I know? It's YOUR story.
1452259
1452182, I have no cliffs Only speed bumps, because I have 300-400 chapters to read
Did someone say... Cocoon? I wonder where I've heard that before...
Anyway, looks like the plot continues to thicken.
1451064
Would that not, by logic, mean that more chapters need to be made, thus increasing quantity?
1452862 Maybe...
1452947
Now, again using logic, would it be that having more high-quality chapters... would not be a bad thing?
Personally, i'm up for 10k+ word chapters that come every week or two over getting a 2k word chapter every day. It's just a bit easier to manage for me, that way.
1453052 Haven't you heard of the saying, tl;dr? I'd rather not get those, you know?
1453061
I hear it all the time. I ignore them, as i've been told by at least one author, that they enjoy my 'walls of text' and apparently how insightful they can be. If someone doesn't care enough to read the entirety of what i've got to say, then chances are that i don't see how it's my problem. I've written two page (in word, just to keep everything straight) essay comments in reply to chapters posted before. I think my current record is four and a half pages for a single comment. Why are some of them this long? Usually it's my thoughts (and ramblings) on the story, ways to improve it, pointing out errors i've noticed, and such. The short and long of what i have to say is usually in a layout, at least when it comes to major comments i make.
My layout tends to be as follows:
Replies to any relevant posts. (Usually responses to get the author's attention)
Errors. (Get these out of the way early. Since i notice them, it's probably an easy fix, grammar issue, or typo. Sometimes this isn't even in it.)
Initial thoughts. (Just as it says, i have word open in my second screen, and jot down what i initially think, revise it into a coherent paragraph, and leave it at that)
Upon reflection. (This is where the magic happens, and why some comments take hours to make)
Closing thoughts. (Wrap up any unfinished thoughts, pose questions, etc.)
Replies to users, banter, and non-story related thoughts.
Random Question Time (Becoming more and more popular lately.
And finally, any irrelevant info that i forgot to delete, usually.
An example comment would be... my new record sized post, actually. It's the only one that i've ever marked after errors, for those that wish to skip them. Also turns out that i was trying to correct someone taught British english, where punctuation after dialogue isn't necessary.
1443936
If it links properly. If it doesn't, it's comment #404 (wow, luck of the draw there) on the story, "Against the night" by Senorita~De~La~Nieve
As it turns out, this is set up in a similar manner as well, and fairly large, unintentionally.
TL;DR
This is like the first one i've made, and an example. If one of these appears, it's rare, as i try to condense my thoughts anyways. I'm not trying to sound like an ass here, but it's going to come across that way anyways. If you don't care enough to read the whole post, then it doesn't seem like it's my problem then, does it?
1453209 tl:dr
No, no I'm joking! But seriously, this is just how I write, and I've been working on an important one shot that is 6000 words long, so yeah... Kinda been busy. Plus, have you seen the number of unfinished stories on my user page? ... Yeah...
1453256 :P
I understand that's how some people write, and i've nothing against it. It's not stopped me from getting 13 notifications every time you post a blog eh? I was stating my personal preference, with that sentence, and nothing more. And as for unfinished stories? I'm going with no, but having a safe assumption of i should be scared of it.
1453316 The 13 notifications is both your fault, and mine. You fave, you get notifications, but then I'm the one who wrote all those stories you faved.
1453339
Did i word it like i was complaining about it? I hope i didn't, because i wasn't. I just suddenly get 13 notifications every once in a while, and my first thought is: "Art posted another blog. Lets see what this one is about." And thus, probably the cycle renews, probably. With another story or something.
1453594 Eeyup.
Ohh interesting
Oh how the mighty have fallen, Chrysalis ain't looking to good.
1454830 She looks horrible, but your avatar is
dun dun da
1452540 I've seen it in The Three Sisters by Wanderer D, where Cocoon is Chrysalis' sister. Maybe that's where you know the name from.
this is becoming tragic
SO MANY FEELS!!!
1455851
Ha, ha, nooooo. No, that is not where I saw it. I know where I saw it... I know exactly where I saw it.
The plot thickens!
DUN DN DUUUUN!!!!
wait then who's the father?
is it just me, or in that one scene, did sin go super sayajin?
seriously, shes exhausted, shes pained by the anger of the one she killed, she gets angry, explodes in yellow light, then feels energized and empowered, yea, sin just went super sayajin
1481834 Lol You'll learn about that later on.
1451260
Its a word? not according to dictionary.com it isnt!
i.imgur.com/OM5A6.jpg
Neat.