Turrok, a changling caught up in the lunacy of the former leader's desire for land and power, was conscripted into the changling army and sent to Canterlot. But he denied the ideas of his leader. Being a nonviolent creature, he escaped before reaching the city. After the attack failed, a bounty was put out on him. A fork now stands in the road for him, either rely on the enemy of his people for protection or return home and be put on trial and possibly sentenced to death. Fate helps him choose the former.
Takes a few months after the story Return to Society. You may be confused if you don't read that first.
Chapters (12)
Alright, this looks like it could turn out to be something interesting.
I noticed you referred to the single changeling as "they" a few times in your story, kinda confused me. Was that just a typo?
I love it. It's got your touch to it. Can't wait to see what's next!
2712527 For some reason, I was thinking it was wrong to assume it was a 'he.' Maybe fear of being sexist.
2712650
typing "it" probably would have been a better way to go about it. Plus its clear they don't consider changelings to be sensible creatures, rather some sort of 'other' that they should fear. Them using the word it to describe a changeling may help reinforce that they think that.
so far so good! of course, I like anything about changelings though.
For the first chapter, I thought that this was pretty good! The plot got the necessary development a first chapter should get. Although, it was bothering me slightly that instead of calling Dusk "it," you called it "they." That just bothered me a little bit, but it didn't really subtract much from the overall chapter.
Lo and behold i just finished reading the first chapter and the second gets posted! WOOHOO! i need moar~
2714586 same. still love the story though!
Love how Silent makes smart characters that won't screw themselves over AND can tell backstory at one time. He's awesome.
2714586 we will always need MOAR!
Wait, so Luna and Celestia switched bodies, Twilight is a male and in a threesome with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash? I'm confused.
Interesting, interesting... I can't wait to see what you do with this.
I'm a little surprised Turrok went with the shop instead of the library. I guess he wanted to avoid people but his continued existence is dependent on him catching changelings in Equestria, I figured he would want to be somewhere with a lot of traffic throughout the day to maximize his detection rate.
...I suppose that detection is a two way street, he's bound to let his guard down for a while wherever he lives.
Eh, risk vs. reward, looks like he went with the safer option.
Rarity and a changeling I like it.
Oh Dis gon be good~
2723286 well it is certainly different
About that 'how is this tree alive' line. If your curious you probably could hollow a tree out and live inside it without killing it. The inside of a tree is already dead so removing that excess wood won't hurt it and it should be able to survive having a few holes carved into it for the doors and windows. Not sure what effect moving a bunch of furniture into it and using it as a living space would have though.
Only two days and you have a 3000-ish word chapter out. You can write quite a bit faster than me. I usually have to slowly whittle away at a new chapter over the course of a week to end up with a 2000 word one.
2723503 I personally understand the tree business, but a changling whose home is an arid desert might not. As for the speed, I really typed up these first couple chapters last week and have just decided to start posting. I am no speed typer, I assure you, the only reason I typed this up so quickly is because the idea is very fresh in my mind.
2723286 I thought it would be a bit different. I can't ever remember reading a changling and Rarity story.
2723528
I like this concept plus I want more rarity x stallion or human.
should be in.
when I read this in my head, it seemed to be more of a question, instead if a comment.
I think this story is great, other then one tiny spelling error that was probably just a key you hit as you hit the space bar, and one thing that doesn't sound right. Just a little constructive criticism, so please don't take it too seriously. And sorry if I kinda rushed you into publishing this story before your ready. I feel a little guilty now because of it.
2723777 I view your input more as inspiration to get off my lazy bum and do it. Need not worry, you are one of a handful of people whose input means a lot. As for the spelling errors, I need all the help I can get!
2723800 well, that's the second way I've been inspirational on accident today, I guess. The other was through a little scrap of poetry I wrote.
And how did I become "one of a handful" who mean something to you? I haven't really done anything special. Hehe, not like I'm arguing though.
2723903 There are a few who so frequently give input and help. Getting me to actually post this and stop worrying about things is a big help. Otherwise this story would still be sitting on my computer screen, mocking me.
2724016 So I was just being regular me. Awesome, guess I'm not as useless as my parents say. Put that in your pipe and suck it, mom.
when do we start hunting dinosaurs?
You still haven't explained who the heck this Dusk character is.
2726414 That is in the story link at the bottom of the description.
2726417
Ah, ok. Then you should explicitly mention that you need to read the previous story to understand this one then.
2727891 Thank you, I am a bit of a scatterbrain sometimes.
I may be the only one who just notes this, but Dusk's "Mane" and "Coat" color's has been switched.
I'm reading your "Return To Society" and I'm having myself a debate whether to drink or not.
Maybe when your done with the whole thing, do you think you can redo/remake it?
2747492 Yeah, I goofed. Allow me to fix that.
One of the best parts of this chapter. Keep up the good work!
I'm on the fence about the Rarity/Turrok pairing. I don't actually have an issue with the pairing itself, I'm just not sure how it's going to be handled. When they called Turrok on his infatuation I was worried it was going to move forward way too fast but you kept a leash on the pacing so it's fine.
All I can really say is be cautious about how fast things move forward, nobody falls in love in a day or two and if the couple involved think otherwise they're just being really naive about what infatuation is.
Either way, enjoying the story. I'm also creeped out about the "interrogation". I'm reading another story where Celestia let the changeling queen be tortured, it kinda stuck in my head.
Celestia as pyro. Well thats a scary thought. But not as much as Pinkie Pyro.
I cant wait that long
How does this have only 20 likes? Interesting story, something never done before that I know of, good characters, well written from both the plot side and the technical side, so why isn't it getting more attention?
2895014 I have a few theories.
1. I am not exactly known here, or anywhere.
2. Not the genres everyone flocks to.
3. No clop.
2895230 well then, lets make you known. I got a new story going with around 30 favorites (I can't tell because I work off my iPod), so I'll give you a shout out. Should bring in a few people. Sound good?
2895469 Wow... that's really generous. I would be a fool to reject such an offer. Thank you.
2895478 Don't mention it. At the end of my next chapter, which should be out this time tomorrow, I'll throw in a link and say 'hey, this story is pretty good, check it out'. A good story deserves proper recognition, and yours isn't getting it yet.
2895485 Well, the least I can do is return the favor when I finish this next chapter.
2895491 Read the story first, doesn't exactly seem right to put a shout out to something if you don't know how good it is. If you got the time.
2895497 Very true. But there's time, I have some others things to attend to as well before I put out another chapter.
2895529 There we go. Next chapter up, with the shout out as promised :) hope people will actually listen to me though and check it out.
2901601 Thank you.
2901665 Just helping out, don't mention it.
So has it had any affect yet? Have you gotten more likes/favorites?
2924945 Views have been following the normal pattern, I picked two favorites since last week. But I think it's the thought that counts.
Hey pretty good I liked it this will be a very good story, I hope you make many more chapters and never give up, also, check out my story "A friend to the end" if you ever get a chance, and if you do please review and let me know how it is, and also please favorite if you liked it tell me what you thought, and again, good story.
Ok, I didn't see this coming
Good chapter by the way 