It's Nightmare Night once again, and the mane six are preparing to celebrate it with their new monster hunting friends. But when something dark from Celestia's past comes back to haunt her, all of their lives will be put into very real danger.
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Oh boy, here we go again. But before I do let me say that you were right about this chapter.
I can honestly say that if I had accidentally skipped this chapter not only would I have had no idea that I had done so, but that it wouldn’t have made any real difference on the story. Once again, we get another chapter where nothing of any real relevance happens.
A good way of knowing whether your chapter can be skipped or not is by the growth or change of your characters. For example, in this chapter none of the characters change in any way, and are in the same positions as the start. Tom is still just as secretive as before, Spike and Luna are just as concerned, Cadence is still both concerned and ignorant and everyone else is just as completely oblivious as they were when the chapter began. The character’s statuses don’t change, so nothing happens.
Progression in a story can only happen through change. It doesn’t have to be massive and not everyone has to change, but it still needs to happen. Last chapter Luna went from being ignorant of Tom’s situation to being informed. The only problem is that it’s the ONLY thing that changes in the entire chapter.
Change is constant and can happen to anyone at any time, thus the pace of a story is determined by the amount of change that happens within each chapter. The more changes the faster the story, and vice versa. Having only one change in a chapter is like going ten miles (16 km) an hour on the highway.
Finally, each change that happens within a chapter should be important to either the main plot of a story, any subplots, or even character arcs.
The only good things I have to say have already been said before, so I’ll hold my breath for later chapters.
11462212
Hello again. I honestly thought you had given up on this story, not that I would have blamed you.
I must admit that I didn't put as much thought into this story as I should have during the early bits. I can only be happy to say that the worst is behind you if you do decide to continue.
My most recent story has, thankfully, enjoyed more success than this one, and I think that is greatly in part because I've tried to follow your advice and shore up my glaring issues with plot creation and scene building. While I still hold this story dear to me, I recognize its flaws, and I wish that I had someone like you to point them out before I posted so they could be corrected.
I hope you'll see more of what you initially enjoyed in this story in the coming chapters, and I'd like to thank you for sticking it out this far, and for continuing to give me advice on how to do better than this.