It's Nightmare Night once again, and the mane six are preparing to celebrate it with their new monster hunting friends. But when something dark from Celestia's past comes back to haunt her, all of their lives will be put into very real danger.
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I've already stated the importance of conflict and how it needs to be maintained throughout every single chapter in your story. Something I didn’t state however, was that the level of conflict needs to also be constantly changing from chapter to chapter. If a chapter starts with a high level of conflict, then it SHOULD end with a low amount of conflict, and vice versa. In the beginning of the story this doesn’t need to be a large change, just enough to get the ball rolling.
Also, for a horror story with gore and violence, there’s a lot of slice of life. There’s nothing wrong that, as it can show what a character’s life is like before everything changes. The problem comes from the act that this is the fourth chapter in a row without any significant development.
I’m not saying there needs to be some big physical fight, you just need to create a sense of dread that makes the audience wonder what’s going to happen next.
One final thing I have a gripe about is how passive Luna feels while confronting Tom. Although she got him to admit the truth about his powers and why he didn’t want to tell the others, she could have easily convinced him to trust his friends and tell them what’s going on. Hopefully if she tries again, she’ll be more successful.
As to what I did like about this chapter, there isn’t a whole lot to say unfortunately. The moment between Celestia and Luna is sweet, as is Luna’s care for Tom. I’m surprised that Cadence is the only one to notice something off about Tom when Celestia is in the room. The costume shop scene was fun and lively. It was cool to see what outfits the gang went with, and I look forward to seeing what Spike wears for Nightmare Night.
Everyone was in character and nothing felt out of place, so that’s good. Though I do find it odd that no one asked about or mentioned Tom during dinner. Not even for what he was doing during Nightmare Night.
As a final thought I feel like this chapter did a lot more to set up the scene for nightmare night, but failed to create a sense of anticipation for anything potentially terrible happening. Because of this if something terrible does happen on nightmare night then it will have come out of nowhere. Alternatively, if nothing happens then all the build up would have been wasted on another boring chapter.
Hopefully things pick up again in chapter eight!