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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Aaaaand she lost it... again.
It's time to wallow in self-blame and hide from the authorities, living a life of an outcast while slowly turning into an insectoid hybrid; and when the transformation is complete, perhaps even lay a clutch of eggs (she did mate with that guard after all) and start her own hive of pony-flies that will soon spread chaos all over the land! Discord, you sly beast
I'm eager to find out what happens next
I have noticed a few minor errors in this chapter:
Resigning
foal
student's
One word is missing here.
Poor Twilight, she's just paranoid/crazy. Poor Dash too, she just wanted to help... eventually at least, but still...
2197380 Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. I just corrected them. 3 in approximately 7200 words? that's not bad.
Haha, I love to hear all of your theories! Keep'em comin'! As for Discord, well...
2198278 Yeah, Fly DNA-Induced paranoia is a bitch!
Good chapter. It feels horrible to write this, but I have to say that I love how you continually manage to break Twilight Sparkle in such a characteristically believable and consistent manner quite like how she probably would react given this situation.
I mean, Jesus fuck, if anything is going to break somebody, it's got to be undergoing a painful transformation into a fly-hybrid creature while threatening and tormenting your friends with death and violently killing their pets before getting killed yourself via fusion with broken glass and going to hell for six months to continually get your limbs torn off by demons before spontaneously coming back to life only to have all of your former friends despise you as you turn into a freak all over again. ...whew...
And the story isn't even over yet.
You've managed to put Twilight Sparkle through all of those things while keeping her as consistent to her character as possible. And you've done a pretty damn good job of it, too.
Not to mention the reactions of all of the other characters you've presented have been relatively spot-on as well. And I hope you are able to get more into Twilight's severe hadephobia and her experiences in Tartarus. Like... can you imagine what she must have felt like on her judgement day??? I would really like to see a flashback or something on that.
So hey, great job. Another good chapter. This story is severely underrated.
Just... enough with the rape scenes. Please?
Oh and hey, I've been meaning to ask this for a while, but are you going to go into further explanation of as to why Twilight Sparkle is now continually being referred to as the former Element of Magic, and what exactly that means?
2237078 Thank you so much for the kind words! I am really happy that you like this story so much. I went on your profile, and you seemed to be someone who has very high standards when it comes to fiction, so I can't tell you how happy I am that you are enjoying my story! I really hope to continue to meet your expectations and everyone else's.
As for the Tartarus stuff, I honestly didn't plan on delving too much into it. I just really wanted to add a psychological piece of the puzzle as to why Twilight wouldn't realize that she was changing again, and I thought if she had some form of PTSD that it would create a mental block for her along with the physiological changes she was already going through. I do have a lot of room in my timeline, however, so I can definitely expand on her time down there.
Also, don't worry about any more...naughtiness. The reason that stuff was in there, honestly, was because I thought it would be taking the original concept a step further. I wanted to capture the essence of the arm wrestling scene from the first movie, but I didn't just want to do it again. I saw Seth's changes in the movie as him essentially going "cave man." However, his sexual insatiability and his lust for dominance were 2 separate things in the film, and I thought that a good way to up the anti would be to combine both aspects into one, and giving Twilight's need for control a sexual component. However, I can assure you, there are no plans to go any further with that, and any other scenes will be consensual "morning after" type scenes.
I will be going into the "Former" elements of harmony stuff towards the end of the story, as it will play a part in the finale I have planned.
Seriously, though, thank you for the awesome review! I'm working on the next chapter now, so It'll be up within the next few weeks.