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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I thought it was a new cover art. I was looking at it for a minute, "was Twifly II always with this close up crop of a fly?"
What an intense chapter, esp. with the hunt with Luna. I was actually hopeful when Luna was 'herding' Twifly. What a gullible fool I am. Then you leave with a cliff hanger, cruel, very cruel.
You know I wouldn't be surprised if the Elements of Harmony are now ... worthless (dim/dead).
Best of luck, stay healthy, and update soon!
-Sky66
Another great chapter
Ok
OK
I HAVE NOT EVER SEEN ONE OF THEM EVEN ATTEMPT TO REPLENISH THEIR FLUIDS.
THEY ARE PISSING AND CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACE
AND NOT ONE HAS HAD A DRINK
LIKE
OK
Great chapter btw
Silly Luna, that's what happens when you underestimate Twifly. And so much drame between the others, sheesh. The more I read, the more I wonder just how this'll end.
3870648 You said it brother! First their arguing than they get all buddy-buddy, Friendship is magic like the show. THAN their at each others throats again (somthimes I wonder if their trying to kill each other example: pinkie and Rainbow's fight)
3868865 Yeah the elements of harmony I think its safe to say their pretty worthless at this point
And here I thought Pinkie and Rainbow Patched things up last time...So much for that idea
Mmm. It's times like these I wish there was a Luna emoticon. Just so I can spam it exactly 19 times while saying, "Woona! Nuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
But really, she kinda put herself into a corner right there. Why pursue a stronger target? If you're gonna follow it to Celestia-knows-where, at least give a wider berth between the two of you... Man, this is so much like a scary movie. That feeling when the protagonist does something that the audience knows will get him/her screwed over. Hopefully Spike or Celestia will step in before Luna loses her face...
C'mon, Applejack. You're supposed to be the mediator!
I don't get it, though. Just HOW can someone scream at Fluttershy?! It's inhuman! Er, inequine.
Welp, now that Flutters seems dead-set on taking her meds and leaving this whole nightmare to the Princesses and her former friends, I don't see how they'll become the Elements again, if they will. Forgiving and forgetting are not very loose terms in Equestria now, with the Mane Six disbanding.
Also, sorry for being "that guy" and pointing out mistakes in the story, but I just can't help pointing out one I noticed. Just give the say-so if it's coming off as impolite.
*ones
3870425 Uuummm...maybe they get some water off-screen?
3873153 Haha, that's cool. i fixed it.
The thing that I thought would make Twilight scary was her speed. I remember seeing a nature special about insects once, and I think flies actually react about 40 time faster than we do. If the ponies in Equestria are anything like we are in that department (Which I think they are), then I kind of see Twilight's new form as a more intelligent, bigger face-hugger, like from the Alien franchise. That's what I was going for, at least.
3873690
40 times faster doesn't appear to work in the case of flyswatters. But it does help. That's why we gotta sneak up before swatting! Oh, wait, but I thought they had compound eyes... Nevermind.
A facehugger... With infinitely more durability, strength, cunning, intimidation factor, and access to a large supply of powerful magic. If only Twifly could reproduce at the same rate as a Xenomorph... Suddenly, the moon doesn't seem like the worst place to be banished to.
3870425
Hey, but Fluttershy DID get a chance to *drink* a few chapters back...
3877340
It was... OK. But please, could you get to the point finally? as good as your emotion writing is, it is getting extremely boring. They are having the exactly same argument, over and over again, in pairs, in groups, all together, no matter, they are using exactly the same arguments and keep yelling the same accusations. You may say, "it is realistic, they are stressed and broken, it is normal" or something like that, but with one or two chapters for month, it feel like they had this argument for half a year now. and it feels forced, they are so off-character, that it is just idiotic, not like PTSD or depression, but like brainwashed by discord, I really hope you meant to do that, because if not, then you really need to fix it. Pinkie and Rarity seems more like stubborn morons, than people with such terrifying secrets, trying to hide it. pinkie's mind would be teared apart with wish to keep that secret, love for twilight, and friendship. I would see her being the one noticing that they are all off their virtues. not making it worse.
And it feels like you are slowly reaching a point, that is death point to tooo many authors, badly planed story reaching moment, where all character are so broken and damaged (both physically and mentally), that you would need deus ex machina element to fic it. With big mac so hurt, fluttershy crippled, rarity lost a lover who cheated her, and being the one to start the change, Rainbow losing all loyalty, and pinkie going nuts with what I wrote earlier, it is nearint that point. Add to it possibly wounded Luna (I swear, if you do anything to her, I will kill you in most painfull way, she is the best pony) and Twilight being socially doomed ever if cured. Please try not to get stuck in too much problems without any solution.
It is your story, and I like it. But please do something with them, either make them solve that eternal argument, or focus more on twilight for now. I is just getting so hard to read this.
Ps. sorry for any mistakes, I write from phone.
Pps. I hope you answer to this.
I somehow created a curious effect. answer to my own comment, in thich I answer to that comment, and so on. Commentception.
3873690 Yike Xeno's are very Dangerous, and insect-like...and Ugly
3873751 Yeah or better yet id rather stay at the next Solar system over, or Galaxy....Just in Case
3877340 Ok, I have a few things to say on this. I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think you are taking things into perspective. Yes, they are arguing a lot, and since I have a life outside of fanfic writing, I can only update so often, but remember, as of now, Twilight’s only been back, what, a little over 2 months? That’s plenty of time to re-hash an argument or two, depending on the circumstances, especially when both parties think they're right. Plus, I’d like to think the arguments are pretty unique to the characters themselves. I’ve sort of paired them up, without really meaning to. And, did you see what happened at the end of the chapter? Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are tired of arguing! Which anyone would be after 2 months of trying to bring up counter points to the fighting that has been going on. I mean seriously, did you even read the last part of the chapter? Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are done! They’ve had it! And with good reason! Yes, I am trying to be somewhat realistic in these fights, and they are leading to something. I’d ask you to have some patience.
As far as everyone being OOC, sorry, I have to completely disagree with you. Yes, Pinkie Pie and Rarity are being stubborn, because, guess what? They are stubborn characters! Pinkie Pie is arguably the most stubborn character on the show! And Rarity is being more indecisive than anything, so I’m not sure how you got stubborn out of that. And as for why they are acting the way they are acting, I don’t really think I need to go back and fix anything. I’ve got a set timeline of events that I’m working with and that’s that. Again, I get what you’re saying, but you have to take things in a better context.
One of the things I got called on when I started the first one was the fact that I rushed the first part of the story. For what I have planned, I couldn’t do that this time, and I honestly tried to be better with the pacing this time around, based on earlier critiques. There is a reason all of this is happening, and I am getting to that point. And by the way, what is wrong with having a timeline that actually does go somewhere? If you are under the impression that I don’t and that I’m just flying by the seat of my pants here, then let me put your fears to rest, because I’m not. Once again, I am going somewhere with this, and at this point, we’re there.
Thank you for liking my story, and honestly, thank you for the critique. I’ve gotten a lot of positive reviews, but not too many negative ones, so yes, it’s nice to see that sometimes. It helps me put things into perspective as well.
Bottom line, yes, there is an end game here, and while I’m not gonna discuss the ending here, I can tell you I’m getting there. I don’t have that much more to write, at least I don’t think so. So, please be a little more patient. I will get there, just give it a little more time.
And as for Luna, well, you see the thing is…
I am not saying that your story is not planed or anything, it is just I saw so many good stories, where author wanted to go in deep tragedy, and then decided to make things better, only to realise it is nearly impossible in any normal way. these authors tend to loose interest in writing, and then abadon their story.
So, I hope you know what are you doing. The way I see rarity here, she is kind of stuck to "I am ok, in is you whos has a problem. And no, I am not hiding anything", maybe stubborn is not the right word, but she is my the least favourite character, so I may not be seeing everything.
And I am not complaining about your writing speed, it is actually pretty average, it is those that can update faster than 3k chapter a week, that freak me out how are they doing it?
And thank you for answer, and expaining that, just please get this argument done with.
As for the Luna... well, my threat still stands. :》 But please, do not do anything too bad to her.
3878679
Pinkie is a very stubbornly optimistic pony. You're absolutely right in that regard. But I think you may have missed the fact that self-delusion and optimism are two very different things.
3985770 In and of themselves, yes, but in Pinkie's case I consider them linked. Although, I wouldn't necessarily call it a delusion as much as a lack of empathy.