Seven friends are thrust from their homes on Earth to the world of Equestria. Two unfamiliar worlds will have to learn to adjust to each others rules and how each others interactions can bring change or create new influences on one another.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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nicely done
10999878
It still amazes me how fast you can speed read through these chapters.
10999890
well, its more a fast overview, as i struggle to keep up with such long chapters
10999980
I'm guessing Dash is picking up on the human's verbiage and using it more flippantly.
11000258
It's all a clever game of deception. In truth, even playing the actual card I based this version off of is the most fun when you have to bullshit your way through it.
Damn, this only gets better with each chapter.
Honestly, I could see Kelly forgiving Luna after a while for decieveing her. Sure, it was wrong and all, but it didn't really hurt anyone.
How are the kids gonna wake though? Man, I can't wait to see it no matter what you have planned.
11000810
The buildup has been a long time coming.
It could honestly go either way. Considering all the issues she's come to see she has, it's hard to say how she's going to react when all is said and done.
Stupid sleep. Always getting in the way of the resolution.
And by that, I mean that some details of the past will have to be addressed. Both new and old.
shift
Harmony's
Magnificent chapter. Loved how Celestia used Cerbs line and Harmony see how mutch she was fucked
The remaining Echos have left the Battlefield. Some are fine and some are bearly holding together. Good Sword is gone.
Daybreaker really gives Harmony a run for her money! GLORIOUS ♡
11001184
And to think I first snuck in that line all the way back in with the first introduction of Day Breaker. I'd been waiting so long to have that come back full circle.
Those Echoes really made things a lot more difficult than they needed to be. Let's just hope Thunder Glide letting the Celestia double go free doesn't come back to bite her in the ass.
All those mares are running Harmony through the wringer, and there's still more to come.
Also, I fixed the spelling errors you pointed out. Thanks a bunch, as always.
While this general type of story is common as dirt, this story is kind of hard to describe to someone who knows the genre.
Me: It's an HiE "romance" that eventually steers into adventure, with the twist that there are 7 humans.
Friend: Cool. How long is it?
Me: Over 1.5 million words and 100 chapters
Friend: Woah! How long does it take to get into the adventure stuff?
Me: 99 chapters.
Friend: Wait, but you just...
Me: Did I mention that Chapter 100 is over 100,000 words long?
Friend: ...Wut?
11002574
I'm not entirely sure what you mean. The adventure phase started as far back much earlier with the first trip into the Everfree Forest, not the return. The side stories going back to Trixie having her own adventures were mixed in as well. Other smaller fights popped up periodically as well between characters that had unresolved issues and conflicts of interest.
Granted, chapter 97 really kicks off the final conflict getting virtually everyone involved, so everything after that is just more excitement ramping up until everything comes to a head for each group's climax, which is the longest run of fighting. Also, while the last bit is nearing 100,000 words, the reason I broke up as 100.1 - 100.4 and 100.5 Part 1 - 5 (and still going), is for the same reason I had chapters 79 and 88 broken up into partials. They both went just under or just over 50,000 words, but were centered around one specific focus in a narrow amount of time.
Otherwise, I can't tell if you're view on the whole story so far is favorable or given as a disappointment. I did see that you're a fan of Your Human and You, and To Love a Princess (Both stories I've enjoyed as well), to which I would say my story would fit closer to Your Human and You. At least in the concept of the world most readers would expect isn't the one they're given in terms of how it works and going along for the ride to see what the real threat is.
Regardless, I'm open to any critique you may have if you feel like sharing.
11002603
I don't really mean it as a criticism, honestly.
For quite a few long-fics that I've seen, the story starts with the beats of a ponyville slice-of-life/romance/political intrigue and eventually goes off into globetrotting adventure with relatively little backslide into the initial genres when the writer runs out of things for the characters to do in Ponyville/Canterllot.
This story clearly hasn't done that and the story's final tonal departure from its fairly light-hearted faire to address the apocalyptic overtones hinted at throughout the story (assuming that "The End" really is the end) only comes in its final chapter (even if there were hints of it a couple of chapters earlier). I am not complaining about that at all.
The large cast of characters (and the huge "meanwhile, back at the ranch" energy that this story packs) has allowed this story to keep the same genre and keep throwing forward new things for a length of time greater than the entire Harry Potter series put together. While there was an initial adventure in The Everfree Forest, the action part was fairly short-lived (compared with the rest of the story) and everything went right back to its comfortable and well-paced holding pattern. Instead of the light and fluffy romance giving way to adventure a third of the way through the story because a writer could not (or did not wish to) keep it going, it keeps going up until the final chapter because that is decidedly the thing that this story is all about.
While you've been fairly straightforward in your author notes regarding what you wanted to explore with this story, I am highly impressed at how well and how long you have stuck to that initial vision.
So... I guess I'm praising you? Yeah, let's go with that.
11002899
I don't mind receiving criticism so long as it's honest. Otherwise, in regards to the story starting off with a stronger slice-of-life/romance/political intrigue style story then slamming into adventure, that was by design. Ending up in Equestria, starting the mystery of why they were there, then acclimation to their new environment, introduce a new threat (or multiple threats), give them a break while the potential mounts, then the climax.
However, no one has really run out of things to do. Most characters had plans for what they were going to do to either make a living or establish planing for future safety, but these final events with the youths interrupted them. That was mostly done as a reflection of how life seems to get in the way of our plans and ruins them.
Managing the large cast has been a major hassle. Mostly in keeping things in line with each other, timing, pacing, and keeping the continuity. One part that was difficult in keeping the continuity was how the relationships developed. Big ones were those between Cerb with Fluttershy and Rarity, or Chris and his harem Starlight started.
The dangers that were introduced had different outcomes for each group, but never ended any of the pairings. Fluttershy and Rarity had stronger desires to stand by Cerb and support him through the dangers, while Starlight feared not being able to protect Chris, which then lead to fear of losing any of the new relationships she'd started. The first pair wanted to keep their human on the path to lead a fight, and the other wanted to keep their human home and safe.
That might be a slight divergent from what you were pointing out, but it changed how they were able to advance their relationships.
Then again, the story does seem to bounce around heavily between what genre it wants to focus on based on which characters it focuses on. Such as Becky's archs don't have much of a romance element. She's always had more of a slice of life and drama approach.
I apologize if at any point it appeared I was coming down on you or sounded confrontational. I think it was the "common as dirt" description that threw me off, but you are right that my story is difficult to properly define for how many topics and character archs it follows. That, and it can take up to, if not over ten chapters to get through an entire day.
Can harmony be defeated once and for all? Or no since unlike in our world harmony isn't just a concept but its own thing
11004392
That is a very good question, since Harmony, or Harmonic type magic as it were, seems to exist in many places and in different universes. There does seem to be challenges based on where Harmony is formed whether or not there is not a (Crystal Something of) Harmony already active and in synch with it.
So, we'll have to see how it all plays out in the next chapter.
SHEESH!
In one word that's pretty much what
I got to say about this chapter.
Ol Sunny picking up that line from Cerb was great.
I do find myself wondering about the other now deceased Celestia & her relationship she had with a different version of Cerb who if I'm correct Harmony had murdered(correct me if I'm wrong). I'm glad that she's at peace & could potentially pursue the relationship she wanted but never got with that Cerb in another life.
The shouting match between Celestia & Harmony....damn there's an intense amount of trauma between them. They're both clearly disturbed beings but I won't lie Empty, I'm siding with Tia on this front. I mean killing the ponies she was supposed to protect while hiding from her is just straight up foul among all the other fucked up shit Harmony has done.
Damn....Luna....I'm glad you & Kelly got something but that's just not something you do to get with someone. I hope there's a stern talk between the two should she make her way back.
Spike is a real one. I know Sniff will be proud once he wakes up...if he wakes up that is.
Fresh & Sparks laying one hell of beating on Harmony was great! Bitch clocked Spike while taking the form of his big sis & she almost killed Sniff. It's justified as fuck!
11/10! Loved it & will gladly wait for the next update!
Gruff & Gallus is shaping up to be one traumatic chapter. Verbal & Physical abuse, especially on a child isn't to be taken lightly. It's a serious effect that stays that way for life. Gallus will have to make a decision that will determine their relationship as father & son forever. I'll go get the onions ready.
11005151
Yep. Had a lot that needed to get out when these characters meet up. Also, been waiting a long time to bring about the skulls and finally found the place to do so.
I worked it in so long ago with the first showing of Day Breaker, I just had to bring it back.
It was more implied that the Celestia trapped behind the Echo in their shared body understood what Cadance was going through and why she was there to fight for Cerb. The human the now deceased Celestia fell for wasn't Cerb.
You have to remember that most of the humans are very different from the ones the Echoes dealt with.
The Twilight with Trixie Rose once told her Peter:
So, other iterations seems to show other versions of Peter were not very confident, where Chris was more of a hard-charger and go-getter. Also, one my speculate that Cadance had been left out or bitter towards all those humans that were so far away from her getting so close to the other ponies.
Then again, these are all things simply hinted at and not fully explained.
Celestia lost her mentor, sister, love interest, and had to tend to a kingdom of mortals for over 1,000 years. Even the ponies she had grown attached to were taken away like most of the other royals after a war Harmony started. Only a few years of getting her sister back and making new friends, she finds out that it was Harmony responsible for all virtually all her suffering... Yeah... She has every reason to be pissed.
Luna knew it was wrong to lie to Kelly, or at least lead her on like that, but loneliness and a growing lust held too strong an influence over her towards the woman she was falling in love with.
Spike wasn't going to stand back a second time. Not when he had an inferno to unleash and a friend to avenge.
Every mare is gonna get some damage hammered into Harmony after all the shit she pulled to hurt those they all care about. That bitch has a lot more to pay for
Always glad to hear someone enjoying my work. Still working on the next chapter, and I'm liking what I've come up with so far.
I wouldn't say he committed any physical abuse, but verbal, emotional abuse, and neglect are on the list. How these two decide to spare things off, that will be interesting to see.
This situation reminds me of this video:
11010341
Started watching that not knowing it was part two, but technically a part three. However, I can see the correlations there.
The moment this Equestria become mortal because they cut her junior juice boxes off will be priceless.
Daybreaker unleased trough 70% Harmony magic?
So peaceful Daybreaker
Damn, Spike did very good yet he payed for his success. I wonder if Dragon regrow teeth...
So Discord is repairing the rip in reality while pulling a Zecora Alchemy professor? Damn fine multitasking!
The Echos learned the hard way not to mess with human for once. I wonder if they find a more fitting way to get a agreement?
'Burn it to the ground' seem to be a theme of the fight between Daybreaker and the Tyrant Tree on legs sucking of magic and life force like icecream on a summer day.
Probably my most favorite scene, when the villain noticed they screwed up:
That was the moment when Harmony knew...
she fucked up
concussion - ? Or am I mistaken
Harmony overall did more wrong than right, simply because she followed a script demanding cruel fates.
I wonder if the script was what turned her sociopathic?
11778213
Yeah. She done goofed. There were more than a few moments she thought "Okay, now this will be easy." and then was realized how wrong she was.
Fixed
She did what she could with no guidance or assistance. She had no one to tell her no at any step of the way.
Harmony wanted to fight them all:
Megaego is about to be cut down to punchable size
11778337
Simply put, Harmony wasn't ready for a situation where she could be overpowered. Even when she had that power slapped in her face, she couldn't really accept it, especially once she started tapping into it herself.