Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

Special: Fluttershy's Concerns

Dear Princess Celestia,

I am writing to you about matters of great importance. I don't know what happened but it was late on Hearts and Hooves Day that all the straight couples down here went missing. To make matters worse, Lyra and Bon Bon have gone missing but the absolute worst thing? Dr. Fauna has gone missing and I haven't seen Tree Hugger in months!

Also, the florists have gone missing too. Something strange is going on down here and I have a feeling that Twilight might be behind it. I know how bitter she is about love and I heard that she banned Hearts and Hooves Day here and vowed to punish anypony who violated her new law! I know you probably won't care since you all of a sudden love Twilight as though she were your own daughter.

Just do some sort of investigation because every single straight couple outside of the married couples disappearing is just too strange. Also, if you could pressure Twilight into telling me what happened to Dr. Fauna and Tree Hugger I would really appreciate it.

Worried,

Fluttershy

---

Dear Fluttershy,

You say I probably won't care? You're right, I don't care! If you want an investigation done over this, you will pay for it because I'm not about to waste government funds on something I don't give a shit about.

Not Caring About Your Concerns,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[Speedy Silverstreak]

Dear Fluttershy,

Can you please stop taking ingredients from my classroom for your damn animals? Otherwise I'll be teaching the students how to make bear steak with a side of rabbit stew.

SS

[StormLuna]

9230972

Speedy Silverstreak,

If you even try it I will do to you what my human counterpart did to Sci-Twi.

Fluttershy

[Speedy Silverstreak]

9230975
Dear Fluttershy.

Ha! Don't make me call Colgate. Also I know where your precious Tree Hugger and Dr. Fauna are and I won't tell you where they are. Although your threat is humorous I have years of training and I can say I can kick. Your. Ass.

SS

P.S. Angel looks interesting on a spick with a apple in his mouth

[StormLuna]

9231180

Speedy Silverstreak,

Colgate, that mental defect that is so obsessed with torturing other ponies that she will fuck up one of these days. Oh well, I'm smarter than she is and brains always beat weapons and sadistic desires.

Fluttershy

[Speedy Silverstreak]

9231199
Dear Fluttershy.

You know. I found a weapon that Twilight brought over from that human world called a 'shotgun'. I found put it is extremely deadly at any range and can cause a pegasi to permanently lose their wings.

Come near me and we'll test it out

SS

[StormLuna]

9231208

Speedy Silverstreak,

Ewww....that sounds like, so gross. Just in case you didn't know, anywhere around me is like a no weapon zone. I will totally crush you if you don' like, take that thing back to that gross human world. Humans are like, so nasty and anything they would use would be like, so nasty.

Hipster Fluttershy

[Speedy Silverstreak]

9231272
Oh go find someone who gives a rats ass what you think pothead Shy.