Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna

28 Pranks Later

Dear Princess Celestia,

You really need to do something about Crash now. That bitch wound up scaring me and thought it was nothing more than a funny prank. What a bitch she is. I think you need to replace her with a pony that would be more friendly. Maybe that gray pegasus with a bow in her mane would do, she seems friendly enough.

Now in the end we did get her back by pretending to be sick after she replaced these filly guide cookies with joke cookies and we sure got her there. Anyway, take what I suggested into consideration. I think my friends and I would all appreciate it.

Twilight's Owner,

Fluttershy

P.S. Oh and just so you know, I'm a great actress! I pretended to be scared and had Twilight stay up all night and hold me close. I swear, having a pony who wanted to basically rape me at one time suddenly being my doormat is sweet! I'm honestly thinking of putting her on a leash next time we go out and about. I know she would let me too because she'd never do anything to risk losing me!

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

Can you believe what my friends did to me? They wound up scaring me by pretending to be sick after I switched some filly guide cookies out for joke cookies. That is so mean, don't you think? I have a perfect idea, replace them with the rest of the Wonderbolts! I know they would never do anything like that to me.

Oh and just so you know, Fluttershy lied about being scared and simply had her little pet hold her close all night. You know something, I actually miss the old Twilight. Yes she was a bitch but at least she wasn't a slave, had a spine and had the ability to think for herself.

Sincerely,

Rainbow Dash

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Dear Princess Celestia,

I know Fluttershy has probably wrote to you about this but I just thought I would let you know that Rainbow wound up pulling a really mean prank on my sweet Fluttershy. Luckily I was able to comfort her and calm her down. I am so upset with Rainbow right now. Hopefully Fluttershy will give you some advice on the appropriate action on how to deal with this.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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To an Arrogant, Enslaving Pegasus,

You know what, I don't give a shit. So what if Crash scared you? In fact I'm glad to see it because you have exerted way too much control over the pony that was once my star student. So you're going to put her on a leash now? I am not thrilled but in a way it serves her right for being such a doormat. I do have an idea though, make her wear a sign that reads, "Property of Fluttershy."

You know something, I kind of miss the old Twilight, the one that would constantly bitch about not being able to initiate you. What a shame that never really happened because that would have been so much fun to read about. Oh well but do remember, she does have royal duties. Make sure she performs them or I'll take your little sweetie away from you and send one of my other students down there, one that always dominated Twilight big time and trust me, you don't want this one stalking you. That one would easily conquer you, definitely turn you into a grade A doormat and tear you a new hole during the initiation ceremony.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

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Dear Crash,

Guess what, I don't give a shit. You got what you had coming and I am not thrilled that you ruined the CMCs cookie sale. Just look at it this way, your stupid prank didn't kill anypony and in the end you all got a good laugh out of it.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

P.S. I am glad you scared Fluttershy though. I do not like how she has pretty much became the owner of who was my star student. You know, you should make her life miserable just to see how far Twilight would go to make her sweetie happy. I'm secretly hoping Twilight will snap one of these days and become a pony you'll all hate again.

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Dear Twilight,

I'm going to be honest, I'm surprised that Fluttershy still lets you even write to me. I thought by now she would have had Rarity put an enchanted horn cap on you so you could never use your magic ever again. Oh well, a submissive little doormat like you would never do anything to risk losing your master, I mean marefriend.

Hell even in your pathetic attempt to complain about Crash, you sounded so sweet and sentimental. All this you being a softy shit is making me vomit. Thanks to you I won't even be able to enjoy my cake tonight. I do have some advice though, grow a damn spine and stand up to your owner. I am honestly thinking of enlisting Iron Will to give you a private assertiveness training. Hell if I do that I'd even pay for it myself because I am ashamed to see what you have become because it is making ME look bad.

Ashamed of You,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[sykko]

Geez Lesty, pick a lane and stick to it.

[Love able chaos]

10312767
But that would make sense and we can't have that.