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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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All right, the songs messed me up a little, because I didn't understand at first that they were multiple songs. Still, good choices.
(I think it's telling, though, that based upon your past work, I thought you capable of writing all of those.)
Oh shit!
... that caught me off...
And damn you, i dont know all of those songs.
edit: Not saying don't discuss it but prime your information first.
Repeated clause.
Extra comma.
Besides that, excellent chapter. I'm thinking Darling's singing is coming from an external source, rather than Dim's fractured psyche.
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The first is an either or situation, not repeat.
I immediately thought of this old Dave Bromberg tune
With all this high arcana being tossed around I can't be sure if Dim is actually being haunted by Darling, if Desire isn't pestering him with a complex illusion, or if she's sending Darling's shade after him.
Darling going away after crossing a flowing natural body of water suggests necromancy.
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I didn't think that ANYBODY was going to get that.
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I guess it helped that one of my DM's knew some actual historical and modern magical practices?
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Anyone worth their salt in old-time magic (or D&D) would. Running water is a barrier to a lot of necromancy, most notably vampire and their cousins.
Two fire-based familiars, one made of fire, the other feeding off the first...
The forest is gonna burn down tonight.
How much will this impact Dim's contract payout?
The foal would have been an abomination regardless. The cynical side of myself tells me that Dim still did the right thing.
Hahah, Dim went and crossed a natural river. His sister's voice went away. If this was my friend's DnD campaign, it would be because of either necromantic possession or her soul staying behind for whatever reason, and the river washed them away.
My buddy had some of the coolest world building I'd ever seen. Said a lot if it came from real life myths and the like. Wonder if Dim's situation and those are connected? Either way, still amazing and fun to read.
As I read this, I understand more why Dim had to kill his playmate. He just doesn't know how to really know or care much to redeem anyone. His main go to tool for Redemption is just murdering ANYTHING evil that gets in his way or would be more useful to him dead. Dim was a lot more broken back then and even now would be rather hard pressed to understand how to do much to bring someone into the light. The only time we have seen this, he really broke that Necromancer's brain and scarred him for life against the darkness. Who knows what that approach would have done to someone as screwed up as Dim's half sister...
We've see in some of Kudzu's other stories what being a slave can do to a being. It can leave permanent damage that can never be healed for those that were raised as slaves. Yet even many of them were far stronger than someone like Darling. Darling was weak willed and weak minded, she was completely broken mentally. I am saddened to say that I am not sure how Dim could have helped her at the time, even if her tried.