Even for ponies such as Twilight Sparkle, magic is something that's both easily understood, yet full of unknowns at the same time. Wondering about the mysteries surrounding magic and its relationship with Equestria as a whole after an innocent question, Twilight tries to research whatever she can about the subject.
However, there is something ominous brewing in a distant land that may relate to Twilight's questions about magic, but solving some of those mysteries will require more than just research. She'll have to overcome her most dangerous challenge yet in order to uncover the truth.
Chapters (6)
Why isn't this getting more views? Promising start, Manaphy!
7352651 Maybe I just picked the wrong time to post a story.
Anyway, thank you so much for looking at the story and for commenting. I highly appreciate it and I'll keep on trying my best with future chapters! Hopefully, the second chapter will be ready by next week at the earliest.
NEXT WEEK?!? ARE YOU TRYING TO TORTURE ME?!? This is a very amazing book and I'm very intrigued to find out what happens next!!! Love this story!! XP
7352949 There is a chance it may be ready before next week, but that depends on how much needs editing. Anyway, thank you so much for looking at the story and for the comment. I highly appreciate it and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far.
7352963 Do you have someone editing it already? I could help!! I find grammatical errors in published books so I think I can help. And I get really agrivated when there is poor grammar...
7352983 Yeah, I already have someone helping with the editing. But if I need any additional help, I'll let you know.
7353010 ok....
Sorry I was creating my own story. Just thought it up. Any pointers? It's about a country next to Equestria called Alagasia and the inhabitants are mythical creatures. Lions with wings. You know what they're called? I always called them Shedus.
7353051 In general, I always recommend having some sort of outline and knowing what characters you're going to be writing about. As for the latter, keep in mind what their personalities are and how they might respond to certain situations, as it can make for a more engaging story. That's how I tend to plan out my stories. And looking over what you've written is also important, as making sure it reads smoothly is definitely important. And as for your story, knowing how you'll approach this new setting and other details is also essential. While I'm not the best at giving advice, I hope that helps.
7353083 Thanks. I got like half a paragraph finished... But Idk how I'm going to get from twi finding out about the country to my OC almost- uh... Maybe shouldn't say that part... XD I have sort of an idea on how the story should go... Like she finds my OC(who is one of the lions) but they don't get along or whatever. I've played this story in my head over and over again for at least two years now.. But I've only attempted to write it once before and it was EXTREMELY terrible.......... So idk how it'll go... Think I could run some stuff by you for some help...?
7353127 Sadly, I am usually busy, so I'm unable to proofread stories for the time being. However, there are a number of different groups on this site that can help with finding proofreaders. I'd look up proofreading groups and join one that fits, following their instructions on proofreaders.
Anyway, I wish you luck on your writing endeavors.
7353131 oh... Ok... :(
7353131 I can't find ANYBODY to help me!!! Could you ask around PLEASE?!? I'm desperate!!!!!!!!
A very interesting start. Although, you didn't elaborate on what, exactly, it is about magic that is troubling Twilight so much, nor did you really go into its "science" all that much. Normally not a terribly big deal, but here where magic is the big question, it's quite a bit more relevant. This is even more important considering all her friends volunteering to help out, but what is it about magic that's confusing her? If it was in this chapter, I didn't see more than a vague hint of "magic" Twilight doesn't know with little elaboration.
Also, the segment with the human world-specifically Twilight finding it odd that humans drop off their children at High Schools to just be out of place and weird. While ponies are not humans and have correspondingly different cultures, you'd think they're similar enough that escorting your offspring to a place of learning wouldn't be terribly odd. Hell, Twilight's parents did that for her (granted, the only confirmed scene was with her entrance exam where she inadvertently hatched Spike, but still). It just feels out of place-like you were trying with a joke, but it's so odd it just takes away from immersion.
7353208 You make a number of excellent points in regards to the story's content. As for the mysteries about magic, the impetus was regarding why Flurry Heart and Starlight proved so powerful compared to other ponies, how magic works for pegasi, earth ponies, and so on, and other mysteries. And the thing about the mirror at the beginning was a means of showing Twilight undergoing research.
That being said, I will take a look at the chapter's contents when I can and make thorough edits once I have a plan. Just need to figure out how to best approach this first, which may take me some time. Anyway, thank you for taking a look at the story and for the criticism. I'll keep on trying my best and learning from my mistakes.
Edit: Addressed the part in the prose regarding the school, changing it to something more suitable.
OOOHHH!! Can't wait till the next chapter!!!
7364886 Luckily, progress on the next chapter has been going well so far. While I can't reveal or hint at anything about the next chapter just yet, its contents should be quite interesting if everything goes according to plan. And thank you for checking out the latest chapter and for commenting. I highly appreciate it!
7364909 No problemo dude!! XP I love your stories!! Besides it's theleast I could do for the help you've given me for my story. Though I'm just re-writing the whole thing. I got this grammar dude to help me out like a LOT so I'm just gonna start where he tells me to cause I wanna make my story the best!! But nonetheless I will do my best to add in anything you suggested! XP
Silly Twilight, the dragon only wanted a hug
7456063 Possibly, though the dragon wasn't exactly what you'd call friendly.
Anyway, thank you so much for looking at the chapter and for commenting. I highly appreciate it!
7456069 No problem! I'm really enjoying this story, so thank you for writing it.
They have reached the village without to much trouble. I'm curious as to what will happen next.
This was a nice chapter, I liked the part with the friendly changeling and Pinkie's comments. The story of the village elder was intersting, but he hasn't explained how the pillars are connected to Tirek.
7549858 Thank you for checking out the chapter and for commenting. As for how the pillars and Tirek are connected, while such claims haven't been thoroughly explained yet, there will be more discoveries as the story progresses. Furthermore, there will be more of the elder and how he fits in the story.
This story is giving me serious Pokémon Mystery dungeon vibes