It's been a while since Twilight Sparkle has heard from the changelings. Queen Chrysalis hasn't stirred any pots or burned any stews that Twilight hasn't heard of. Yet, when she is asked to visit the Changeling Hive for trade negotiations, she had to settle the score.
Twilight wished the score wasn't as shocking as it sounded, as Queen Chrysalis had more on her mind than just trade negotiations.
Thanks to bathroomstahl and PrincessOfEdits for pre-reading this story.
Thanks to Soaring for helping clean up this story's description.
Chapters (1)
Love it! Chrysalis was very well in character; I usually give her a bit of a sadistic streak, but 'getting caught up' is also very believable, and the little hint about her father.
Also why they need help; few stories consider what Tirek's rise could possibly have done to the changelings, and you did it magnificently. Describing it like 'coming back from the dead' seems appropriate.
Have a like and fav!
Damn, you're getting good at this.
This reminds me of Body and Mind a little bit.
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Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story!
5744778 It would be hard not to.
And then I'm just sitting here feeling proud of "Twilight Sparkle's Dirty Secret."
Bravo, you magnificent bastard.
5745186 Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I liked your story as well.
A little political intrigue with my horses, eh? I like it.
5745229 Thanks. I'm glad that you liked it.
Gonna read it later, but green thumbing now because its at least well written enough to have an intriguing decision.
Looking forwards to it.
Aye you got featured! You deserve it for all your hard work.
5745488 Thank you!
Manaphy on point with this story!
Glad I could help ya out buddy!
5745508 Thanks for the assistance. It means a lot to me.
Not bad, not bad at all. I do like myself a bit of politics and wit, and it's good to have Chrysalis truly in character as her wicked yet regal self and actually be on a sort of equal footing/terms with the ponies, as opposed to constantly being a dethrosting ice queen/jerkass woobie at their mercy. She is a fellow head of state, at the end of the day, so it's definitely a refreshing change of pace.
Also, a good reference to Tirek. I would imagined he would've tried to gobble up the magic changelings possess. They would've made a hearty meal for the rising tyrant.
I like also how the changeling 'hive' seems to be more of a pony-like kingdom, am I right? What with the town and castle? At least, that's the impression I got.
Over all, not bad. Not bad at all. A definite thumbs up and fave.
Anyway, pretty good story. Goof reference to Tirek as well as the changelings
5745541 Yep. The hive in this story is similar to a pony-like kingdom. Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this story.
5745570 Nah, I should be thanking you. I love some witty politics and a more ponified take on changelings now and then, that and a confident and in charge Chrysalis.
Tell you the truth, I do my share of political and comedy stories myself, that and changelings (I love the little buggers!) If you were interested, maybe you'd like to check one out. If it's up your alley, that is. ... That kind of shameless plugging is beneath me, I apologize.
5745695 I'll take a look at some of your stories when I can.
Edit: I just found out you wrote "Citizen Weevil". I loved that story!
interesting and well written, however it left me unsatisfied.
It was a slice of life, hence the genre but I'd have loved to see them develop some kind of relationship.
Apart from that very well written.
5745721 I'm glad that you found it to be well-written.
You got featured, and not one of the bottom three 'oh, you did good, but could do better' spots.
This is, without question, the best of your stories I've read.
One issue I had, however, was how informal the meeting with Chrysalis felt. Twilight's speech was loaded with "Look," "Um," and "Yeah." With the exception of the tea scene, we really didn't see much caution from her, in spite of how she felt about the meeting beforehand. Even with Chrysalis acting friendly, I think Twilight would be a bit more measured in her demeanor. She usually is around Princess Celestia and at other functions. Just something to keep in mind moving forward.
And I hope you keep moving forward. You've come a long way already. Keep it up!
that wasn't a negotiation, Twilight was OOC (much to less logic), Chrysalis behaved to strange for it to believable without an explanation (to use opportiunity is no explanation for matters of this scale), the mentioning of her father was unneccessary for the story and useless in itself because you told use nothing meaningful, and again: that really wasn't a negotiation. maybe between foals/kids it would go this way, but not between two ruling polititians of great importance.
I like the first part, where you discribed the last bit of the journey, even if the arrival was a bit sudden. But it went downhill really fast, as soon as Twilight met Chrysalis.
5745697 Thank you, I appreciate it. And I'm always happy to meet a fan of my work. Rest assured, I'm intending to get back to work on Citizen Weevil soon, just as soon I get editing and That Special Relationship onto chapter two.
5746098 You're welcome.
Interesting story! I definitely enjoyed it!
5747048 Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
Fantastic man
5747089 Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it.
5747092 grats on featured too. Deserves it.
Hmm, I find it hard to see it going that smoothly, but it was an interesting story. True, as well, when someone's that powerful, get on their good side. Teach them a thing or two in a subject you have more expertise in. It doesn't have to be for a material gain to be worth the time and effort.
Well done Manaphy! Very solid writing work. Take this experience and build upon it. I look forward to seeing your continued growth here on the fimfiction.
5747541 Thank you! I'll keep on improving the more I write while trying to do the best I can.
I'm incredibly happy for you Manaphy. I just wanted you to know that. I'll put this in my Read It Later list. Can't wait to see what else you give us.
5747598 Thanks for the support! It means a lot to me!
That was beautiful! Easily your best work so far!
5747837 Thank you!
5747840 I loved every moment of it, it's doing so well for a reason you know. This was definitely your best writing so far, I'm glad I was so hyped for it.
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Suggesting that the Changelings are some form of derivative of a more natural pony tribe/race, and still maintain some practices or traditions thereof?
Maybe it's my mindset when I read this story, but I have no idea what I just read. What was this short story supposed to tell me? What was it trying to say? Was it just an apologist piece for the Changelings, slowed down with too many extraneous characters and too many descriptive paragraphs on things I don't care about (the tea set, for example)? It also doesn't help that the headcanon on Changeling society is at grave odds with what I've extrapolated from the show and from other fanfics.
Your technical skills in terms of grammar and prose are all good. But I just didn't feel like I learned anything or enjoyed anything from this story. It tasted dry to me. Hopefully you don't have thin skin because I know this post sounds harsh.
I don't get the part with photo of Celestia. What was it about?
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Manaphy and I truly are FiMfic brothers!
>same day
>18th story
>first feature
>next to each other in feature box
Couldn't have scripted this any better.
Very Good ;) I like this side of our cheese queen more then the evel... and i liked already the evel side of her ;)
This isn't so much a story as a line by line explanation of a headcanon with a dumbed down Twilight taking the part of the audience. The environment is interesting and the situation represented is interesting, but you presented the information in an infodump format with negligible actual character interaction. Each non-infodump sentence is an excuse to get to the next infodump.
It had potential, but I dislike the result.
Very intriguing, nicely done.
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Yeah, I could improve in that regard. Thanks for pointing out one of its weaknesses. I'll try to improve in that area and others as much as I can.
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Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
5748142 Well that's not true at all!
When Discord changed them into Changelings from the last surviving handful of Flutterponies so they could have revenge against the pony tribes for abandoning them to the windigoes, their first Queen Metamorphia (she changed her name from Lacewing) decreed that all their previous life had no more meaning, and that they would devote all their effort to taking over zhe vurld (muwah ha ha ha!)
So, they made a new bug-pony culture and stuff. Which is all icky and slimy and green. Ewwwwww! Bug ponies are gross.
Easy to say that now that you've lost.
Your little song spoke rather differently... that little tidbit about "Every stallion, mare and foal..."
Yeah, Twilight would only buy this if Tirek's beating had given her brain damage. I, unfortunately for the lying bugpony, have a flawless memory for detail!
So, is this a TwiSalis shipping fimfic or not?
Well this was a very interesting one-shot
wouldn't mind seeing a sequel but still a very good story. 
Well done.
To the author; you made a mistake with the last few lines of dialogue, but no spell check in the world will find it.