Todays is Twilight's 963th birthday. She should be happy however every year she cries over the loss of her friends. The last pony friend to die was Starlight Glimmer and since then she has only ever shown kindness to her best friend Spike even though he had to move because of his size. Then he died last year because dragons average life span is 600-800 years. Discord still came around to comforted Twilight but never stopped her in changing the past after discovering her plan. He even gave Twilight a piece of chaos magic to help her to push further back in time.
Showing so much bitterness to Celestia and Luna she broke into the forbidden archives as she planed, with Discord's help but he didn't go with her as she so thought. Sending herself back in time to write the wrong before this all BEGAN........
- Member Since 20th Dec, 2015
- offline last seen April 26th
Maze Tail
I enjoy MLP and other ponies interpretations of the story. I like to read fanfics and draw to create ponies and landscapes.
Maze Tail
Joined 20th Dec, 2015 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Maze Tail · 2.2k words · 402 views
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Chapters (6)
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No one seems even slightly in character, the location shifts are jarring, the pacing is set to ludicrous-speed (this could have been enough plot for 10 chapters) and you've got a number of spelling and punctuation errors scattered throughout.
The idea is fun but it's been done really well already in 'Take Two'.
The title's super catchy, though! :D
Please keep going
7258752 Thank you for your honesty but what is Take two? And yes I know there are a it out of character. I'll try better in the next chapters. Thanks again for you honesty and can you tell me what 'Take Two' is.
7258812 I will continue I'll just need some time but it will continue. I hope you enjoyed.
Take Two:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/171911/take-two
It's a fun read, doesn't update that often though. :)
7259919 Thanks I'm going to have a read of it.
I read it and loved it. Thanks for showing me. However I am going my story differently even though it has some similar elements I'm going to try and make it different.
Hello Readers! If you are reading my story, I might make some small edits, when published. Just be warned, in case I add something different in one chapter I might go back and make that an addition on the others but not a very dramatic difference. I hope you enjoy the story.
Great premises, one little critique (of the first chapter so far) is that you don't have to do "at this place" or "this person's POV" one sentence of transition can achieve that
7400129 I know it's just that first story and still learning to write along with 2 others after I did this one. I just thought the readers wouldn't get it. Still I hoped you liked it. Still need to learn to get a editor.
You got some perspective shifting issues, I think you accidentally used they to refer to twilight and spike, along with a few other similar errors. Also this first chapter seems a bit fast paced. You could have divided it up into chapters of each of the major plot points that occur in this one and add a bunch of information on future Twi's thoughts and such.
next chapter please
we need a bucking update please
7400178
Hi Maz Twinkle
we need a bucking update please
update please
i hate when good story ideas die
Will this story be updated in the (hopefully near) future?