Lover of dark themes and uncertain endings.
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Scootalove is Best Love379 stories ·858 members
Rainbow Dash here all you awesome pony readers. So yea, big reveal, I’m a mom now. No, wouldn’t give it up for the world… still… anypony want a filly… I got one… I’m pretty sure I screwed something up here… help!
(This story is going to be somewhat episodic following the lives of Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash learning to become a family.)
Sequel story here: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/297472/youre-wanted-ill-always-protect-you (Warning, tonal shift.)
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I'm gonna give this a like and a track for two reasons, one it has me hooked and two it's a Scootaloo fic and I love Scootaloo.
As an amateur writer myself I love reading the works of other beginner fiction writers.
Keep up the good work
I am A BIG Fan
But please
Stop using I for characters
Its nice and all But it gets confusing if you jump to another CHARACTER SO QUICKLY!
Apart from that dark ending...
6371018
I didn't jump to another character. Rainbow Dash has been the only narrator the entire time. Where did you think I changed characters? I'll need to fix that.
BTW, that's not the end.
Great beginning I hope you keep going on this. AJ coming in at the end though kind threw me for a second.
6372147
Bless her heart, she just wants to help!
Seriously though, I love AJ, she will be a pretty important character in this story.
6372158
I feel when you say this and theres a few more minor things where this happens
But I feel this just confuses me
i was stuck on that trying to figure out if it was sweetie belle saying the 2 late
Or rd
But if it was RD then thats a double negative either that or she is just cancelling herself out AKA double negative
Idk I might just dont get it
And that works 2
6374051
Will fix, thankyou.
Excellent so far! I do love scootaloo stories.
I could feel my heart breaking when Scootaloo didn't understand the questions and tried defending her mom. If you can call a pony that abandons their filly that. Keep going I like this.
6387382
Thanks. I remember all the after school specials about child abuse and neglect, and yes, I do mean I was taught what to look for in elementary school. The idea was to inform children so they knew if they were being abused themselves and could report. Also they taught us on the off chance that we kids could notice something was off in a friend's home and report it, though it was made very clear to us that we were never to confront an adult directly. These days... I don't even know what's going on these days. It seemed a requirement that every kids show talk about abuse at least once, so much I kinda tuned it out back then. Now... I can't remember the last time I saw something on TV about the subject.
I check for updates everyday after work. So glad to see one-keep going I love it
Ooh, I like this - an "abandoned scoots" story that feels more grounded than the typical "scoots is living in a box" or "she's being horribly abused" stories she gets.
I look towards when the father shows up, or when the trial comes - Twi and co are on a warpath and soemone's going to get trampled. And Twilight did raise a good point - it doesn't have to be one of them specifically to adopt scoots (though obviously we know Rainbow will anyway), will be interesting to see how they work through that.
Good work so far!
6399905
Thanks.
always good to see an RD/Scootaloo fan fic appear, and a recent one as that.
6401386
Thankyou!
I think the Five Stages of Greif is true, but I think its different for others. Like I didn't felt it when my Grandma died, but I did when my older sister did. It depends on the person.
6403668
Read what I say here as at face value, I mean only what I print, not to attack anyone with opposing views, other than those who try to force them. You didn't and this is NOT an attack or retaliation, it just my thoughts on the matter.
Given that everyone experiences grief differently, and there are a finite number of human emotions, one would expect some people to experience some of the "five stages" some of the time, but that proves very little. My problem with the theory isn't in it's attempt to explain the grieving process, that's a great idea. The trouble is that grief just can't be broken down like that unless you try to make all of the stages as non-specific as a psychic friends hotline prophecy. There is NO wrong way to grieve no matter what stages you go through as long as you don't hurt others and you come out of it alright on the other side. I get nervous and even angry when I see people trying to tell those in pain that they're "doing it wrong". "You need to cry, let it all out!" Is one of the most often touted lines. I will let out what comes out when it comes out and I will hold it back when I can because life goes on and I can't blither forever. My mom wouldn't have wanted me to live ever finding reasons to cry, she have would wanted me to let out what I needed, and then move on with my life, continuing with my own experiences good and bad, just not forgetting her in the process. I felt what I felt when my mom died. As the Bible says, no one can really know or control a person's heart, the heart does as it wills.
In Korea I got the call that my mom was dead. I almost instantly started crying "depression!". I disbelieved for about .5 seconds "denial!". In my heart I wished it weren't true "bargining!". Anger... anger-I never got angry. Also those other three can only really count if you think the five stages can validly occur in under ten seconds or mean anything if they're just an expression of general mood. I accepted the news as true almost instantly, though to be fair, what exactly acceptance means... there is no real definition so that's the best I can give. Even if you could argue that the stages happened for me, they were meaningless. What I really experienced was similar to what I wrote here for Scootaloo. I didn't know what to feel and for long periods of time I felt something akin to a complete absence of emotion. It wasn't until my sister started crying on my shoulder during the funeral that I started to feel better. I cried, but only for a little while after I got the news.
You will never truly get over a great loss, you will always feel something. In a way that's good as that just lets you know you really loved someone. What you had was real. If you notice in this story, Rainbow is still hurt by her memories and though they occurred over a decade ago, she can still use them to help another pony.
Last been to a doctor three years ago. Father divorced three years ago. Coincidence?
6407603
Good eye. Can't say.
I just figured it out-not getting proper nutrition, and not having seen a doctor for 3 years. No wonder she can't fly.
6412131
Well yea, that and she has a birth defect in this story, but that would be cool to see her fly because she's finally getting treated right. Some kids have changed dramatically physically just because they were put in better environments, that IS real.
Because I like leaving feedback: 1. Break up the wall of text,it makes it easier to read. 2. Twilight feels ooc here, I can't ever see her ordering some pony to bow much less as a way of petty retribution. You may hate scoots mom that doesn't mean everyone in the story should. 3.) If you're going to use profanity then use it, if you want to ponify it so its less offensI've then that's okay too but the ***ing is just annoying.
To your point, yes the chapter felt a tad over done, revealing scootaloos mom to be cold and heartless and then revealing her dad was too much for one chapter.
6422321
For now I removed the part about Purple Cloud, Scootaloo's father, you're right, it's too much for right now.
Honestly I thought Twilight was being restrained. I'm sure Violet has friends out there somewhere, but it's hard to imagine she's going to find them in a group of ponies who witnessed her nearly starve her own child. Seeing something like that tends to color your reactions to someone from that point on.
Does anyone else think I should just use profanity? I'm going back and forth on that.
Thanks for the thoughts.
If I was in Rainbow's situation... I think he should be placed under several restrictions, but otherwise be mostly forgiven.
And it didn't really come across as melodramatic to me.
6422470
And just like that, I put Scootaloo's father back in.
6422321
I put it back.
Actually, considering this is SUPPOSED to be episodic (I really need to work on that), I like the cliff hanger and looming problem resolution better than just, "we all hate Violet Blaze". The encounter with Violet, to me, only served to set up the encounter with Purple Cloud. Otherwise it was too long to put across only a single negative emotion which the readers already had. I want the readers to really understand what's at stake here and why it matters whether Purple Cloud comes back. That is also what is supposed to make us all the more torn when he's not perfect. (I may have over telegraphed that however.)
6422442 For the profanity thing, I don't mind either way.
I've read stories where they use ponified versions of the curse words, I've read a few where they use regular curse words, and I've read a few where it's censored out.
Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable doing.
Should you use profanity that is up to you. Yes Twilight was OOC but then again have we ever seen her really pissed off and having to hold back stewing for a long time. Usually Twilight dives in and solves things immediately
That was good
Not to melodramatic
Not just a plain story
im impress
Apart from the profanity though
If swearing aint you thing its fine. But try swerve around it
Swearing isnt banned on fimfiction just take that in mind (Unless the whole story is swears)
Apart from that
Its all i can say
Thanks suspense for the next chapter
Still want to know what people think should happen with Scootaloo's father. At the moment yes, I am thinking about taking the consensus and making that what happens. I'm pretty sure I can work with whatever it is.
Glad to see another update-yes keep the profanity in-it makes it more realistic. I got confused at times with all the text. Violet Blaze-I want to strangle her-I was not wanted either (still am not), so I feel for scoots there. Keep this going I am enjoying it. As for Purple Cloud maybe if he got help-therapy he can get better and come back into scoots life.
6426138
He did go to rehab, he's apparently a violent drunk, not necessarily a violent pony. Sounds like another vote to forgive with conditions. Thanks.
Oh and sorry to hear about you not being wanted. I hope you found people to help you with the pain of that.
Yeah next chapter. BTW its 11 months for equines. Hurry up with the next chapter already.
6428442
Thanks, good to see enthusiasm.
I wanna see Scoots be Dash's daughter! I've read my fair share of fanfics, and something about this one tells me that this will work! Keep on going!
6446208
Thanks.
Twilight is so going to kill her
So as for the story you going to skip over the details of the law
Like the court case and more
Or we going to go get scootalove
Because either way im happy
6446830
Thankyou.
6447190
I'm mostly into the emotional side of this, seeing as I really don't care too much about legal systems. To be honest, no, I don't know a bunch about case law when it comes to child abuse and this is Equestria anyway. Besides I put Scoots through so much hell, it's time she got some love. Anyway, oh yes, Twi will be pissed.
Thankyou.
YEAH
Now just have her fall in love with Soarin and this would be the perfect Scootadopt.
6452145
I was taught to always make a new paragraph when a new character speaks. I don't remember making that mistake but I could have. Can you tell me where, if it's not too much trouble?
Ch 4. 6/1
Ch5. 7/10
6460386
Thanks.
Scooty is going to need a lot of help maybe even therapy. It's going to be a long road for the both of them. Waiting to see how this turns out!
I'll admit:
The ending of this chapter was so heartfelt, it almost got me to tear up.
And a scene has to be really powerful to get that kind of reaction out of me.
So this is the last chapter?
6465932
Nope. This is the story of Rainbow's motherhood, not Scootaloo's adoption, the start just took longer to tell than I expected. I could have rushed, but I think the story would have suffered as a result. There will be another chapter next week and for a few weeks after that, as this story needs to get caught up to the other two.
6465903
Thanks, I was hoping not to come off as clechie, as "my home is with you" isn't really all that novel to say. Instead of just saying it, I tried to have Rainbow show Scootaloo in both words and action just how much she meant to her.
Hey, does anyone have tips for writing for Pinkie and Fluttershy? I know Pinkie is supposed to have a lock jaw memory, but I think it's justified that it got a little shook up by the sudden shock. Also I'm hoping I was able to, even if just briefly, show Flutters as more than just a product of her fears.
6466028 You're welcome.
And you definitely succeeded in that regard.