Scootaloo didn’t move very fast when she woke up, probably having a lot on her mind. For a time Twilight watched the filly like she was sympathetically studying every move. Eventually Scootaloo gave her quick glare. Twi was about to respond when I put up a hoof and made her turn away.
“She’s not a movie, stop watching,” I said plainly.
“I just want to help so bad and-“
But I cut her off. “You are.” I walked to my door, opening it. “Like you said, I’ve gotta go okay?”
“But, what do I do? I mean-“
Wow. Was I really giving advice here? I shook my head, this was weird. “Well no more staring, it makes anypony feel awkward, you of all ponies should know that one,” Twilight chuckled, nodding. “Anyway, just be there. She won’t necessarily need a conversation, just someone to be around.”
“But how do I fix this?”
“Fix what? Her heart?... You can’t. The heart never really gets fixed,” I said, closing my eyes, mom’s face flashing in them. “However, it does go on and it does learn to be happy again. Trust me on that.”
“How do you know that?”
I bit my lip. “Not really wanting to share on that… think you’ll be okay?”
“I guess.”
Off I flew. For a moment I almost looked back, but I kicked myself. I couldn’t let Twilight think I had my doubts that she could handle this.
(***)
As I flew, my thoughts wandered a little. There was a reason I wanted AJ to take Scootaloo. More than any of us, AJ understood how to make a pony feel important. Beyond the parties from Pinkie, kind words from Flutters, general intelligence from Twilight, the nice dresses from Rarity and my own brand of encouragement, Applejack had a way of just making other ponies feel wanted and even needed.
I kept thinking of this as I came to the small guard station where Scootaloo’s things were. Again in my mind I started to think about Scootaloo being adopted by Applejack. It just seemed right.
Scootaloo’s things consisted of a few magazines, some tools and a few Wonder Bolt action figures. Actually the figurines brought back memories for me. There was even an old Far Shot figure. He was the star when I grew up, leaving when he got a bad hip. Some called him a “broken pony” but it was nice to see another pony knew better. Far Shot was a legend.
(***)
Back at home I put Scootaloo’s stuff in the spare room, trying to think of how to make the room feel like home. Scoots had several posters in her magazines about flying that I took the liberty of tacking to the walls, making sure the articles on their backs didn’t seem all that important. In the left hoof corner I placed her scooter, next to her tool box, next to that, a stack of her scooter magazines, a few of which I perused myself. I had never been into scooters myself, but I was able to glean that these weren’t sales magazines, they were about maintenance and how to trick out a scooter you already had. I thought about putting up a big scooter poster I found on the wall, but I wasn’t sure how the squirt would take that. After all, what did her scooter represent to her? Was it a substitute for flight, or would she still want it even if she could fly? Would it then be insulting or inspiring?
I stopped myself. Was I, Rainbow Dash, really thinking this deeply about things? I looked at Scoots’ toys. That was better, something completely immature! I took the figures out, so tempted to play with them like when I was a filly. I set them up on the dresser. Scootaloo had figures from her generation and when I was kid, probably because my legendary fliers had only been retired three years ago. The current Wonder Bolts of course all went together. Misty Fly, Soarin, Blaze, Fire Streak, Hind Wings, Lightning Streak, Silver Linning, Fleetfoot… I searched the box again… was Scoots missing Fleet Foot? Well I would have to fix that soon enough. I had stopped collecting Wonder Bolt toys a long time ago, but still, you couldn’t just have all but one could you?
Out in front of the pack placed Spitfire, posed shooting proudly forward. She wasn’t part of the same set as the others, she was bigger, but that just seemed right. She was the leader after all. I looked at the arrangement. Suddenly I noticed Fire Streak wasn’t next to Blaze and quickly corrected my mistake. Those two were so getting married someday, if only in my mind, but they were perfect for each other.
Behind them I placed the wonderbolts I grew up with. Far Shot headed that pack, strange that he wasn’t also bigger than the other figures. Then there was Cloud Blazer, Lancer, Cloud Kicker, Star Wind, Fire Bolt, Tabitha (weird name that one) and Red Sky- oops Red Sky and Fire Bolt were supposed to be together of course. At the bottom of the box was something… weird looking. It was a blue mare figurine but it had been… mutilated. I found Fleetfoot. Her mane had been ripped out and she had glue all over her. Did somepony break her? An accident… more abuse? No one broke a little filly’s toys or-wait. In the place of Fleetfoot’s blue mane was a set of yarn pieces, green, blue and purple and in back, red orange and yellow on top. In the back was a rainbow of yarn pieces… this was me. I smiled, the grin nearly splitting my face. Scoots had actually destroyed one of her precious toys to try to make her own Rainbow Dash action figure. Naturally no one really sold toys of me, in a set like this anyway. I had a few stuffed animals out there somewhere, but this… this was so much more meaningful. I put the figure up with the rest of the modern bolts.
That did it. Even if she wasn’t feeling on top of the world, even if Twilight was going to be upset with me, I had to see Scootaloo. I left for the doctor’s office.
(***)
At the office, the staff knew me all too well, from my complaining when I broke a wing, and then my attempt to break in in order to read a book in private… ah memories. That was all of a year ago though, I was so much more mature these days. Anyway I could walk around without too many ponies really caring, they knew who I was.
I was informed by the doctors that Scootaloo was mostly alright, but she was going to have to stay for a while so they could run a few extra tests, they had a lot to catch up on apparently. I was going to go into her room to talk to her, when something caught my eye. “Thing” was too dignified a name in my mind.
It was a purple mare with a pink mane. She was a pegasus wearing a business suite in the middle of a clinic, having saddle bags on with a protruding brief case. Violet Blaze.
She walked down the hall I was about to head down. I followed at a distance, stopping as she opened the door. She went in, myself just keeping from grabbing her and throwing her up against a wall. I fought the urge to go in after her, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back. Still, a part of me just had to know how this went. I went over to the door and just listened.
“Twilight Sparkle I presume?” came a voice I didn’t know. It must have been Violet.
“Yes… oh… you.” There was a pause. “You want to talk to ME?” Twilight demanded.
“Well, yes, you summoned me. What’s this about?” Another pause. “Yes, that’s my daughter.”
“Didn’t my subpoena include a list of the charges against you?” Twilight asked. “I think you owe someone an apology, or maybe an explanation if you’ve got it.”
“I’m not just going to roll over and let you ponies accuse me of something. I’m here to see you, not my daughter, she’s being a good girl, right?”
“You don’t get to talk to me until you talk to her.”
“Excuse me?”
“Excuse you? I’m a freaking princess! For the love of Celestia- BOW!” I stumbled back. Twilight never before had even asked for a bow, let alone demanded it. I got back to the door, somewhat smiling on the inside. Twilight was doing alright. “Now I told you to do something, since when does my word constitute a suggestion?”
There was then a long silence. Suddenly there was Scootaloo’s voice, quiet and nervous. “Um… mom… why… why are we so different from other ponies?”
“What do you mean dear?” Violet responded, with a tone that seemed comforting. To me it was grating of course.
“I get home and you’re never there. I visit Button Masher and his mom is always there. His dad is often there too. Sweetie eats with her folks every night and sometimes I think Apple Bloom is somehow magnetized to AJ but you… I never see you.”
“You see me. Right now in fact.”
“I see Button’s mom more than you and I only play games at his house every now and then.”
“Darling, I’m not a hoofs on mother. Sorry if that’s what you want but I just can’t provide it. I give you money.”
“They shut off the power again… and the water.”
“Oh… well I’ll have another talk with Black Main. If you ask me Twilight, you should talk to him-“
“I wasn’t finished!” Scootaloo suddenly said. “Did you know I broke my scooter last month? Of course not, you just dropped off a bunch of bits and peaced out. I’ve had to buy magazines just to keep that thing repaired and ya know what? With that little bit you give me, I’ve had to skip meals just to fix my scooter.”
“Skip meals? Honestly you foolish child, your scooter isn’t that important. You need your food, that’s what’s important. That scooter is just a toy.”
“No it’s not. I can’t fly… but dad got it for me. He taught me how to use it and… you ****ing took dad away!” I couldn’t move. Was that true. Where was Purple Cloud? Probably alive but…
Things started clicking in my head. No doctor visits for three years, he left three years ago and let’s not forget there’s just no way a young pony could have survived baby and toddlerhood the way Scoots was being “raised”. Something had to have changed, something, or more likely, someone.
“I’m sorry?”
“You took him ****ing away like you, you ****ing, ****ing… damn it.”
Another voice, came through, Rarity. “Um… I’m sorry, but you’re far too young, please stop using that word.”
“What did you tell him?” Scootaloo continued. “I heard you two arguing before he left. What did you say?”
“Does it matter? He didn’t want you. He didn’t love you or he would have stuck around. Love means time,” Violet said. Like she would know.
“How much time?” Scootaloo asked.
“I have given you enough time, all the time you could want with me. I took care of you when you were sick, I gave you money for-“
“I’m sorry darlings,” Rarity interrupted. “I can’t listen to any more of this. In fact, what have I and my little sister been listening to exactly?”
“Oh not with the hugging again!” Scootaloo complained.
“Go ahead, Sweetie Belle, she needs it.”
“This is between me and my daughter,” said Violet.
“Oh I wasn’t finished young mare.”
“I am older than you.”
Rarity continued. “I was referring to your age in worthwhile experience darling, which clearly you don’t have much. Now did I hear this right? You expect an eight year old foal to know how to prioritize funds… and how much exactly do you make that you can’t afford to give her enough to maintain a wooden scooter?”
“I make enough.”
“Enough? I look at you and I see a business suite, a brief case, a mare who owns property she doesn’t live in and regularly commutes from Baltimare to Ponyville. Now I’m rich and I know it and I don’t have two homes, but I imagine that somepony who does can buy food for a child and afford to fix a wooden manual scooter. If you can’t, just live with your daughter… pardon me for using a word from Rainbow Dash, but “duh”.” I wasn’t offended, she used it right. “In fact that’s the big question isn’t it? Why don’t you live with her?”
“Do you know what it’s like to live with a child alone? It’s maddening! Constantly questioning everything, yelling, screaming, complaining, they don’t know any limits, they think they have to come to you with everything when they can solve most of their problems on their own.”
“They can survive without you to a degree but they have to have somepony to look up to and to take responsibility for things they don’t understand, to teach them that understanding, that’s the point of being a parent or older sibling or, or… or whatever you are to a child. And for the record, I live with Sweetie in my home quite often. Everything you just said is accurate. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“I thought you wanted me to talk to my daughter Twilight, aren’t you going to stop this?”
“Nope, I’m having fun watching you get chewed out, keep it up Rarity.” Twilight chimed in.
“Oh I intend to!” Rarity yelled.
“No, you’re not leaving, I order you to stay here,” Twilight said, happier to say it than I thought right, course I did detect a hint of proper frustration.
Rarity did continue. “Where the hell do you get off telling another pony what is or isn’t important? I don’t care what happened with her father, if that scooter is a connection to him for her then that’s profound and as much as she cares about it, so should you.”
“It’s just a scooter,” Violet replied.
“It’s just a boutique.” Rarity snapped.
“What?”
“To my mother, that’s all my business really would be if I didn’t own it. She’s a baker. And father is a former quarter back. Neither one of them knows the first thing about fashion or running a business or any of it. However they were there when I opened by doors for the first time, they’ve sat and listened to me rambling about what I’m sure to them is fashion nonsense over and over. Course that’s nothing like what they were like when I was little. Then it was even better. Everything I said mattered to them and to this day I don’t understand how. The stupid things I was into.”
“What is the point of this?”
“The point is-“ Rarity started.
“For the last time Sweetie get off… Do you love me?” Scootaloo shouted. Silence.
“You have to ask?” Silence again. “I bore you in my womb for nine months, there were midnight feedings and the three jobs I lost while your father kept telling me I shouldn’t move you away from Ponyville to Baltimare. There was the constant crying, forcing a smile on my face when you cried to me about yet another broken toy or another tummy ache or complaining because your food was too hot, too cold or just didn’t taste good… honestly for putting up with all that you owe me so much you-“
“That’s not what I asked!” Scootaloo shouted.
“Do I love you? You’re an obligation. I had unprotected sex one night and nine months later there you were. I was responsible for you. Do you love your school? Do you love shopping? They’re things you do because you have to, because you have a responsibility. Imagine if I had walked away from you or put you up for adoption or whatever everypony thinks I should have done, how would that look? You’re a child, you can’t understand the complexities of-“ but she stopped after I threw open the door, the knob slamming into the wall and punching a hole through it.
I snorted. “She doesn’t owe you ***t.” Violet blinked.
No one moved. That was probably wrong of everypony else, because the pony that spoke up next was the one who should have just shut up. “I beg your pardon?”
“You won’t get it,” I said snidely.
“Well if you’re all done I-“ I lunged forward and slammed my right hoof into her face. She flew backwards. She got back up, cradling her jaw with one hoof, it starting to hang unnaturally.
“I have a black belt.” Violet stated, taking a stance.
“Rainbow hold on-“ Twilight began, but I wasn’t listening.
I snatched a glass fixture off the wall and smashed it between my hooves, throwing the glass at Violet. Violet glanced away to protect her eyes. Then another hoof flew into that formerly confident face as she looked back. I then found myself floating in the air.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight yelled.
Violet spat out two teeth. “Oh yea!” I yelled. “I’m not stupid enough to say what I know before I kick somepony’s ***!”
“STOP!” Scootaloo yelled. “Mom… please, take it back. Say you love me. Please. I’ll forgive it all, I don’t care. I just want you to-“
“Do I really have to stay here and take this?” Violet asked Twilight. “Forcing me to allow assault is beyond what you can force PRINCESS Twilight.”
“You can go.” Twilight said.
“But!” I said, knowing it wouldn’t matter what I said. I really just said it to be heard.
But someone else wanted more than that as Violet walked out. “Mom… mom? No, wait… MOM!” I Looked at Twilight with pleading eyes. She released her hold on me and as Scootaloo jumped out of her bed, I snatched her out of the air. I hugged her tight as she basically just ignored me, reaching out for a mother who didn’t care. “MOM!” she screamed again and again. “NO! MOM!” Violet just kept walking. “Mommy please. Mommy…” The pleading turned to sobs. Then a whisper. “Dad?”
I froze. I turned my head. There he stood. Dusk blue with a dark purple mane. He was frozen in place as well. He looked scared and- he ran away.
“DAD!” Scoots shouted, now fighting me to go after her father. I felt her lifted out of my forelegs. She was surrounded in Rarity’s magic.
“Go,” Rarity basically ordered. “Get to the bottom of this.” I glanced at Twilight, knowing she was probably upset with me. Twilight nodded. I shot out of the room.
(***)
I expected to be chasing Purple cloud into the mid morning sky but instead I found him just a few meters from the clinic. “What are you doing? Running away?”
“She shouldn’t have seen me.”
“What are you a secret agent or something?” I asked with a slight chuckle.
“No.” he had a nice deep voice. I had to be right. Scootaloo clung to that scooter and used it every day and apparently everything changed when he left it sounded like. This stallion had to be the one to make everything better, he just had to be. “If I wanted to flee, trust me, keeping up wouldn’t be easy.”
“I’m a Wonder Bolt, trust me, it would be a synch.”
“Even better.” He looked back to the clinic. “You didn’t even notice me in the hall until she said something did you?”
“Well I-“
“It’s all right, what was happening inside the room was too important to you to notice what was happening outside. You’re military trained and yet everything around you pretty much faded away. She was all you cared about in that moment, am I wrong?”
I paused. Was he right? What was happening to me? “Well… maybe…”
“I know I’m right. You’re what she needs. She’s better off just forgetting about me. I should have had the guts to tell her I didn’t want her either but I just didn’t.”
“Oh don’t give me the drama. Go back in there. I’m happy to be her sister, just go be her dad.” He looked longingly at the clinic as I walked beside him. “You’re not the first pony to choke ya know. Violet Blaze is gone, you’ll see. Whatever she did to drive you away, now you can be with your daughter again and-“
“She didn’t drive me away. Scootaloo thinks it was some argument I had with that mare that drove me off but it wasn’t that. It was me.”
“Huh? If you don’t want her, why are you here?”
“Of course I want her, she’s my daughter. The late night feedings, the diaper changings, the complaining, the yelling the screaming… how can somepony put up with all that and the bad times-“
“What are the bad times in that context?”
“Well welcome to one of them but they’re usually not this bad trust me.”
“Hope not.”
He chuckled a little. “How can somepony be there for all that and the good times, the hugs, her constantly saying “you’re the best dad!” for nothing, her following you around, trying to mirror everything she does after you, her personality starting to reflect you…” suddenly something tugged at my brain. Something sounded familiar about that. “Why are you looking at me like that?- Anyway how can you experience all that and not love someone at your very core? How can you be a parent and not love your child?”
“Well, ask that thing that just walked away from your daughter crying for her to stick around.”
“Yea well, that mare was a mistake I won’t be repeating, trust me. I came here to save my daughter from that. I heard what was happening and I thought I could come in and be the good father, the brave stallion saving his daughter from the she demon that became her mother. But looking at you, holding her like that…” he shook his head.
“Hey yea, I love her but what does that mean? We got this kinda pseudo sisterhood thing going, it’s weird but I’ll explain later. We can both love her, don’t see a problem there.”
“She’s my daughter. She loved me without condition and acted like I was the most important pony in the world. I’ll love her till I die.” He looked away from the hospital. “But… listen to my story and THEN say what you think.” I sat down. This seemed unnecessarily melodramatic, but if I had to set this stallion straight to fix things I was willing. “Three years and six months was my first taste of hard liquor. I had always turned my nose up at it, but that one day, the co-workers at my job pushed me and pushed me to finally try it. I gave in. It made me feel so happy at first, so I drank more and more. Finally I stumbled home. Scootaloo then said something to me, I can’t even remember what it was, but it set me off. I hit her,” I stepped back.
He continued. “I hit her several times until she started bleeding. My inhibitions only stopped me when I looked at my daughter, broken lip, black eye and stumbling… I stopped and hugged her swearing I would never do it again. She forgave me immediately. I swore off drinking that day, making up a story for her teacher to keep from losing my daughter. Then you would think it would be easy right? Just never drink again, I had never done it before, so why do it again? But three weeks later at work my peers pushed me again. I should have snapped at them, lashed out, freaked them out somehow, anything would have been better than taking that evil drink again. I went home again and beat her again. Again I hugged her, again she forgave me and I said it would never happen again. Five weeks until it happened again-“ I smacked him. “So now you know. I’m not a good enough stallion to be a father. I’m weak. Rather than drag my daughter through the whole blasted ordeal of what comes with living in an abusive home, I turned myself in. That was what I argued with Violet Blaze about. I was leaving. I told her why but she demanded that I couldn’t leave her to raise our daughter on her own. Little did I know just how true that was, though I suppose that’s off subject.”
“You turned yourself in?” I asked.
“The guard ponies were pretty shocked too when I arrived to self-report in their office. How many times do you hear a story about a stallion doing the right thing in a case like that? In any case, I lost all custody of Scootaloo of course, I wouldn’t settle for less at the time. I had to teach her somehow that what I did was not acceptable. The sentence was actually rather lenient because I was so cooperative. For turning myself in and volunteering for a recovering alcoholics group, I only had to stay in prison for a total of about six months. There was a restraining order placed on me, but it expired a long time ago.”
“So why did you stay away?”
“I don’t deserve to go back. Don’t you understand? I beat her! I don’t even know why so it must not have been a good reason, course like there ever could be a good reason to beat a five year old anyway. When I heard the conditions she was living under from the guard pony that found me, I was determined to come and save her, to accept that she would never have an ideal family, but at least she would have me, if nothing else. But then I saw you. Rainbow Dash right?” I nodded. “I have kept up with my daughter on occasion. I talked to Miss Cheerilee, I even visited Sweet Apple Acres once or twice to see where I heard she spent the majority of her time. You’re name just kept coming up everywhere I went. Everyone said how she was trying to be like you in every way and how much she idolized you… much like she once did with me.”
“I can’t replace you Purple Cloud.”
“No matter how you look at it, you have to. I beat her, that’s something you can’t come back from. Not every wrong can be forgiven Rainbow. Not everyone can have a second chance.”
“But… but you’re not like that now!” I shouted. “How many drinks have you had lately?”
“None for three years, but what does that matter? What do I tell her when she becomes a teenager and dates that inevitable jock with control issues? Do I tell her to come back to him if he says sorry enough times? Go back if he doesn’t do it again when he never goes near her anyway?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t let her just go to foster care, but that’s not really on the table anyway is it?” I shook my head. “If it comes to that you’ll adopt her first.”
“Twilight says-“
“If she has relatives she goes to them right?” I nodded. “Let me remove all suspense then. The closest relative of hers is serving time for robbing a bank. They might as well start calling you a mother cause it’s just a matter of time.” He turned away from the hospital. “Welcome to parenthood. It’s everything they say it is, both good and bad.” I wanted to say something, but the words caught in my throat. He started walking away, but then stopped. “Just to be clear, I still love her. You hurt her, you will answer to me.”
He left her… he beat her… but he came to her rescue, he turned himself in, he was truly sorry and he must have been a good father to deal with that mare and… he was getting ready to fly away and out of Scootaloo’s life forever. If I said nothing it was over, if I said something… I had to act… but how?