Help Me Daddy
Twilight’s interview eventually concluded and she called me over to take Scootaloo home.
Before I left, she pulled me aside.
“Rainbow, I don’t know if I handled this right but… I… I pretty much told her everything.” She looked away from me with a guilty and unhappy grin. “Maybe that wasn’t right but I didn’t think it would be right to keep her in the dark either. I want to comfort her myself, but I can’t, I’ve got a lot to do, especially with this kind of a case.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s not forget a few summits are coming up too.”
“It’s okay you have kingdom to help run.”
“All the same, I’m not going to just ignore my subjects. Like I said, I can’t be Scootaloo’s primary comforter in this, but if you need me, you know where I live of course.” I nodded. “Good. Anyway, here’s what happening. Scootaloo’s parents are being summoned to trial for their actions, if either of them fail to show up they will be arrested and taken to trial anyway. The trial is set for one week from today. As for what will most likely happen, given what I’ve seen, Scootaloo’s parents will lose all custody rights and most likely, all visitation until she’s eighteen.” I nodded. “As you can imagine, Scootaloo didn’t take that last part very well. That’s when Sweetie Belle hugged her.” Twilight smiled. “She has good friends. Whoever ends up having custody of Scootaloo after this, is not to pursue a relationship with her former parents. I can’t guarantee all of that will happen, but that’s what I’ll be pushing for in court, and as you know, my word does tend to carry just little bit of weight.” Twilight turned to the house. “Finally her home. Her possessions like her toys and bed will be taken as evidence for a while, but if she wants them back, I promise we’ll be quick about getting them to her. What food she had will be donated to the poor, as by the time its released from evidence, she should be eating better things than canned soup anyway so we won’t bother her with it. Finally the house itself is pretty much condemned. We’re going to tear it down when we’re done.” My eyes went wide. “Yea she didn’t like that either. But it made sense to me. No pony will want to live in that place knowing what happened and no way am I letting Scootaloo back in so well… the wood will be re-purposed, probably into other homes to be honest, or maybe firewood, that sort of thing. Essentially she’s going to be moving on. This may seem fast and maybe a little extreme but… it just has to be done.” Twilight looked up at me. “I’m doing the right thing here right? I shouldn’t have to ask but still… you have my back in this right?”
“Hundred and ten percent Twi.” Twilight motioned for me to go to Scootaloo.
I felt an odd feeling as I picked up the confused Scootaloo. I deposited her on my back and she wrapped her hooves around my neck as she always did when riding on me, however, there was no feeling of happiness. There was no sadness either though. She was just… kinda blank.
I felt guilty for not taking her to my house when she was happy before. She would have loved it and I would have loved to see her so excited. Especially in that moment, I wished I actually had a memory of her being so happy to balance out the absolute nothingness I was now getting from her.
I flew up into the clouds at an even pace. As I went, I looked back to her She didn’t have her usual grin that she did when she flew with me. She did smile however. It was a simple smile. She looked like she was trying to let the wind blow away her cares slowly. Eventually I saw tears and had to look away.
Apple Jack was right, because of my mother I could sympathize a little. But that was why I couldn’t say anything.
Finally I brought her into my home.
Scootaloo got off my back and slowly walked around. She wasn’t crying, she was just quiet. I closed the door and just sat watching her for a while, having no idea what to say or how to say it.
Finally I tried something. “Do you want to be alone?” ‘Wow… I’m a freakin’ coward.’ I thought to myself. ‘Everyone was so nice to me when I got drunk and went crazy about Tank’s hibernation and that’s all I can say to someone with real pain?’
“I don’t know.” Scootaloo said.
I walked over to her. “I need you to tell me what you need. Help me out here please?”
“How?”
“Well… what are you feeling? You’re not crying so…”
“I don’t know.”
I thought for another minute. I couldn’t leave her like this. When my mother died I must have cried for like an hour and my dad was a mess. I don’t remember not knowing what to feel at all. “Do you understand what happened?”
Scootaloo sat down. Remembering it was in my saddle bags, I gave her back her scooter. She took it and hugged it to herself. “Kind of. I’d been thinking about how different my mother was from other mothers I’ve seen around town. Button Masher’s mom is there every time I’m in his house. I often don’t see Sweetie’s parents, but when I don’t, I see Rarity. They’re not alone like I always am.”
“You shouldn’t be alone, you understand that right?”
“But you live here alone,” she replied, looking around at my large home. “Don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Why is that okay but it’s not okay for me to be alone?”
“Well, I can take care of myself.”
“So can I.” She thought for a moment. “Well… maybe not that well. I guess now that I think about it, I wasn’t really taking care of myself was I? Other ponies were, they just didn’t know it.” Scootaloo folded her forelegs under herself, basically laying down. She actually looked to be experiencing a small tummy ache as she was kind of gentle when her hooves touched her stomach. I could definitely sympathize with feeling a little like throwing up. “But still, she didn’t do anything to hurt me. She gave me money, she gave me a home, she checked in on me monthly… sometimes weekly… even daily a few times. She took care of me a few times when I was sick. A couple times when I was upset and she was there, she got me candy and made me feel better by saying nice things to me. I remember… I remember being hugged by her so many times, it felt... it felt good.” She looked at the ground. “She never hurt me, she only helped me. She just didn’t take AS MUCH care of me as other mothers. Was she really doing the wrong thing by not doing enough? Can just NOT doing something really be wrong?”
I sat down next to the filly. I then breathed in slowly and then out again. “It can be just as wrong as doing something.” She looked up at me. “You don’t really understand do you?” she shook her head. “Can I see this?” I asked, reaching for the scooter that was now resting next to her. She slowly shrugged. I took the board. “So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m going to set this outside. I’m only going to bring it in once a week and if it get’s messed up, I will neither clean it, nor do any maintenance. Now I’ll make sure to bring it in but-“
“Give me back my scooter!” she shouted, yanking the toy away from me. She paused. “I get it.” She set her scooter down again. “But why would you do that?” I didn’t want to answer. Scootaloo stood up and started to glare at the ground. “Don’t want to say, huh? Fine, I think I know. You would do it because you don’t really care about my scooter. Why should you care about my scooter? It’s just a scooter, why should you care? Why should anyone?!” she threw the scooter away. I caught it easily. I looked at her, tears running down my own cheeks. “Why are YOU crying?”
“Because you’re hurt Scoots. You’re my friend, you have been for a long time, even if I didn’t always treat you like one. I hate seeing my friends hurt.” Scootaloo laid back down on the floor. Not knowing what else do to, I joined her, wrapping one of my wings around her.
I supposed I was being the wise older sister, but I sure didn’t feel like it. I wanted to make her feel better. I thought about Sugar Cube Corner but… well what she was feeling had to be something like what I felt when my mom passed so I knew that would actually make it worse somehow. I could let her be alone. I wanted to just be alone so many times after my mom passed, and for a while my dad went ahead and left me alone. However, I remembered that towards the end of when I was feeling sad, he started saying “no” to letting me be alone. I actually felt better when I wasn’t alone. He only hugged me a few times, I didn’t want to be hugged over and over, that would actually have made it worse too. I pulled my wing back and just stayed next to her.
I don’t know how long I laid next to her, wanting to hug her again, but I was just so sure it wasn’t what she needed. Finally I stood back up. She looked up as I did, as if to beg me to get back down with her. I pulled myself away, now I knew what that look did to my dad. “You hungry?” She shook her head. “Probably not, but you should still eat. You’ll feel a little better if you do.”
PB and J it was. I’m a bad cook like I said. All I knew how to cook was soup and well… no. I ate at a regular pace, Scoots eating slowly. As she finished her sandwich however, she looked to be feeling a little better. “Do you want to go see Fluttershy?” I asked.
“So she can mother me?” I grinned sheepishly hearing that. “Not really.”
“Well I’m not going to just let you wallow. I mean, no party or anything, I know that won’t help. But how about we just get a little something at Pinkie’s place? Not much, just something cold that tastes good. Sound good?” Lots of treats wouldn’t help, I knew that. In fact I was becoming more confident in my decision to wait to go out as well. But on the other hoof, ice cream did help a few times when I was missing my mom… not sure why. “Something cold? How about a little shake?” Scootaloo nodded.
It was getting late, but I was pretty sure the Cake’s store was still open.
(***)
I flew with her on my back down to Sugar Cube Corner. As I entered the store I saw the pink pony who always knew how to make me feel better. She did not look happy though. She practically bolted from behind the counter and came over to me with tears in her eyes. ‘This is all I need,’ I thought.
She looked at Scootaloo. “I’m so sorry.” I pushed her back.
“That’s not gonna help. She doesn’t need your pity.”
“Pity?” Pinkie asked. “I called her a garbage disposal and gave her left overs!” She bit her lip. “I’m a horrible pony.”
“No, no, Pinkie,” she looked away from me. “C’mere.” I amended my last statement, I did kind of need this. I knew how to solve this problem. I wrapped a foreleg around her. “You didn’t mean to hurt Scoots and you didn’t, understand?” I gave her a squeeze. She still didn’t look at me. “Pinkie, you didn’t know. I’m not even gonna ask if you knew because I know you didn’t. If you did, you would have told the rest of us wouldn’t you?” Pinkie nodded, still not looking at me. “Cause you’re a good pony Pinkie. Really, it’s you and AJ who kept her fed, even if you weren’t aware. She was able to get through what was happening because of you two.”
“It can’t be good for a pony to eat cupcake and muffin mistakes for breakfast.”
“Better than nothing.”
“I guess.” She looked back at me and I smiled, her smiling back. Pinkie pulled away and looked at Scootaloo again.
“You did give me free breakfasts, thanks,” Scootaloo said.
Pinkie nodded and smiled. “What do you want. Name it. It’s on me. The biggest ice cream cake in the shop. It’ll be the bestest most-“
“We’ll take a rain check on that okay?” I asked. I gave her a few bits.
“You won’t let me give her-“
“I will let you, just later. Now we just want a few small chocolate shakes okay?” Pinkie nodded.
(***)
I was surprised that at no point did Scootaloo try to fight me that day. I had heard Fluttershy talk about something called the five stages of grief once. Denial… no that didn’t happen. Anger… not really. Bargaining… what does that even mean? Depression… well that was a given. Acceptance… bull s****. Scoots was acting like me. Different.
I remembered how it felt when my mom crashed. She crashed and in a second, I felt a sinking in my stomach. I knew something was wrong. When daddy finally said she was gone I yelled “no” at him, but it was just a reaction. I saw what he saw, her body was broken, she wasn’t moving. It was the first time I had really seen death, but I knew what it was. I cried so hard, fighting my dad as he pulled me away from her. I don’t know why I fought him, I just did. Everything was so robotic. I didn’t even scream “mom” I just screamed, cried and fought.
Actually, Scootaloo didn’t fight me and she wasn’t really crying. Was that okay? I wasn’t sure.
As Scootaloo drank her shake, just like when my dad got me a shake after the funeral, she seemed to start feeling better. No huge smiles or anything, she just seemed to relax. What I was doing seemed to be working.
(***)
I flew Scootaloo back up to my home again. I put her in a spare room in my home with a bed that was way too big for her, but I doubted that would matter. “Do you need me to sleep in here squirt? Just for company?” She shook her head. “Don’t push me away okay?”
“I’m not.”
“Okay. I’m in the room across the hall. Come get me if you need me alright?” she nodded. I walked out but stopped. “I’m gonna leave the door open alright?” Again she nodded.
I was pretty much copying what my dad had done the first day. I don’t know how he knew to do it, guess he was just wise. I had fought him, yelled and screamed at him, but he was just quiet and did what I guess he had to.
At least sleeping wasn’t so hard. I was sad to see Scoots like that, but I still felt just a tinge removed from the problem. I left my door open too, but I slept soundly.
(***)
The next day, I woke up to a loud banging on my front door. Groggily I got out of bed and flew out of my room and down the stairs. I opened the door, Twilight standing on the other side. “Rainbow… wow you look…”
“I’m sure you’re just a pretty doll when you get out of bed too,” I whined at her.
“Sorry.”
“Why were you knocking so hard?”
“Ever tried to wake YOU up by just knocking? By this point I just take to banging by default if I come here in the morning. Can I come in?” I nodded and stepped away from the door. “She’s not down here… how is she doing? The worst of it over?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea.” I looked right for a second, again trying to remember my own loss. “Give it a week.”
“You think she’ll be up for school tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. I’ll just have to ask when she gets up.” I looked back at Twilight. “So what’s up Twi? Just want an update?”
“Well yea, a little. I guess Fluttershy could have come up, but I kind of think of myself as the only one of the group who can check up on you when you’re sick or upset because you live up here- by the way you are keeping in mind that Scootaloo can’t fly right?”
“I’ve known her longer than you have Twi.” She nodded hearing that. I thought for a few seconds saying, “I’ve got a question though. On the issue of adoption, AJ and I believe it basically comes down to me or her to take over Scootaloo’s parenting in the end. Who do you think would be better in-“
Twilight gave a kind of laugh scream. “Um… adoption? Rainbow, that’s gonna be like another month out at least. Not only that, but it’s not like it has to be one of us element bearers. Heck there’s miss Cheerilee and remember both of Sweetie Belle’s parents are alive and well.”
“Well yea but-“
“Not to mention that I haven’t fully researched Scootaloo’s family yet. She could have a living relative out there fully capable of taking her.”
“I’m her sister.”
“Unofficially.”
“Right.”
“Anyway, I’m glad you didn’t tell her about this… you didn’t right?”
“Didn’t come up yesterday.”
“GOOD!” She almost shouted. “Don’t say the “a” word around her until we’ve cleared everything up. That’s gonna be a mine field all itself, emotionally, legally, physically, you name it.” Twilight shook her head slightly. “Glad I could clear that up, but that’s not why I came here.”
“I still want to know who you think is better.”
Twilight shrugged. “I’m gonna leave that to you two to hash out, or anypony else who wants her. There will have to be a final decision, just… just don’t make me make it for you guys alright? I can but I mean-“ I held up a hoof and nodded. “Alright, here’s why I really came. First off the guard ponies have finished going through Scootaloo’s stuff. They’ve determined they don’t need all of it so it would be good if you could go get what they don’t need and bring it back here for Scoots.”
“I’ll take her and-“
“Um no, don’t take her, go yourself. We have to remember, no matter what her feelings are, she’s still a growing child, and she needs to see a doctor pronto. Remember she hasn’t been to one in three years.” Twilight looked up at my clock. “She has an appointment in two hours.” Twilight looked around the room. “She upstairs?” I nodded. “Good. Now as to her parents. At this point I can’t tell her mom to or not to contact Scoots, but I have been able to make sure she can’t have unsupervised visitation at least. Now, oddly enough, Sweetie broke her right foreleg last week, remember? It healed, but she’ll be at the same hospital accompanied by Rarity for a follow up. While you’re getting Scootaloo’s stuff, Rarity will watch after both fillies. If Scootaloo’s mother does visit, I think our resident fashionista should be able to hold her own… I least I hope.”
“I could hold my own-“
“Yea that’s what I’m afraid of. You meet Violet Blaze and you’ll try to kill her.” I saw no sense in denying this simple truth.
“And Scootaloo’s father?- Funny how she never mentions him.”
“He lost custody of her three years ago. I’m not sure why yet, however I have agreed with him to allow him to visit her. He says he just lost her in a divorce when he had a bad attorney but I don’t know. You or Rarity stick around when and if he shows up too okay?”
“So Purple Cloud isn’t a bad guy here?”
“Maybe not. Like I said, I don’t know.” Twilight sighed. “Finally… I am bucking this up so bad and I know it. I don’t know where but somewhere, please mitigate my mistakes if it’s possible. I think somewhere I went too far, or maybe not far enough or-“
“We’re all new at this Twi. Neither of us is being perfect.”
“Will you be there to clean up my screw ups?”
“Only if you’re to clean up mine…. Bring AJ.”
“Oh don’t worry, she’s gonna be on speed dial.” I looked at her confused. “A term I learned at Canterlot high… deal.”
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I check for updates everyday after work. So glad to see one-keep going I love it
Ooh, I like this - an "abandoned scoots" story that feels more grounded than the typical "scoots is living in a box" or "she's being horribly abused" stories she gets.
I look towards when the father shows up, or when the trial comes - Twi and co are on a warpath and soemone's going to get trampled. And Twilight did raise a good point - it doesn't have to be one of them specifically to adopt scoots (though obviously we know Rainbow will anyway), will be interesting to see how they work through that.
Good work so far!
6399905
Thanks.
always good to see an RD/Scootaloo fan fic appear, and a recent one as that.
6401386
Thankyou!
I think the Five Stages of Greif is true, but I think its different for others. Like I didn't felt it when my Grandma died, but I did when my older sister did. It depends on the person.
6403668
Read what I say here as at face value, I mean only what I print, not to attack anyone with opposing views, other than those who try to force them. You didn't and this is NOT an attack or retaliation, it just my thoughts on the matter.
Given that everyone experiences grief differently, and there are a finite number of human emotions, one would expect some people to experience some of the "five stages" some of the time, but that proves very little. My problem with the theory isn't in it's attempt to explain the grieving process, that's a great idea. The trouble is that grief just can't be broken down like that unless you try to make all of the stages as non-specific as a psychic friends hotline prophecy. There is NO wrong way to grieve no matter what stages you go through as long as you don't hurt others and you come out of it alright on the other side. I get nervous and even angry when I see people trying to tell those in pain that they're "doing it wrong". "You need to cry, let it all out!" Is one of the most often touted lines. I will let out what comes out when it comes out and I will hold it back when I can because life goes on and I can't blither forever. My mom wouldn't have wanted me to live ever finding reasons to cry, she have would wanted me to let out what I needed, and then move on with my life, continuing with my own experiences good and bad, just not forgetting her in the process. I felt what I felt when my mom died. As the Bible says, no one can really know or control a person's heart, the heart does as it wills.
In Korea I got the call that my mom was dead. I almost instantly started crying "depression!". I disbelieved for about .5 seconds "denial!". In my heart I wished it weren't true "bargining!". Anger... anger-I never got angry. Also those other three can only really count if you think the five stages can validly occur in under ten seconds or mean anything if they're just an expression of general mood. I accepted the news as true almost instantly, though to be fair, what exactly acceptance means... there is no real definition so that's the best I can give. Even if you could argue that the stages happened for me, they were meaningless. What I really experienced was similar to what I wrote here for Scootaloo. I didn't know what to feel and for long periods of time I felt something akin to a complete absence of emotion. It wasn't until my sister started crying on my shoulder during the funeral that I started to feel better. I cried, but only for a little while after I got the news.
You will never truly get over a great loss, you will always feel something. In a way that's good as that just lets you know you really loved someone. What you had was real. If you notice in this story, Rainbow is still hurt by her memories and though they occurred over a decade ago, she can still use them to help another pony.
Last been to a doctor three years ago. Father divorced three years ago. Coincidence?
6407603
Good eye. Can't say.
I just figured it out-not getting proper nutrition, and not having seen a doctor for 3 years. No wonder she can't fly.
6412131
Well yea, that and she has a birth defect in this story, but that would be cool to see her fly because she's finally getting treated right. Some kids have changed dramatically physically just because they were put in better environments, that IS real.
What's PP and J?
6686725
Peanut Butter and Jelly. Should be PB and J but for some reason that didn't occur to me... fixing....
6686725
Peanut paste and jelly? Lol
7112795 Ya know, that works...
oh no please don't NO
Pinkie Pie
get the party shotgun. After we kill the parents there will be a party
Oh come on! Sure, Scootaloo's parents obviously can't keep custody of her, if they're jobs always have them being in Manehattan and Scootaloo's schooling has her being in Ponyville, but there is no reason for Scootaloo's parents to lose visitation rights! After all, they did make sure that she wasn't starving! Besides which, what does Twilight expect to happen if Scootaloo isn't allowed visits with her parents?! That Scootaloo will thank her? Or, more importantly, that Scootaloo won't kill herself over never being able to see her parents again?!
This is why I prefer Scootaloo being an orphan/being abused in this type of story. I mean, people don't normally take the time to think through all possible implications of their actions in this type of situation, and that would lead to catastrophic consequences if this wasn't a fanfiction.
9295244
True to all of that (except maybe the abuse part )