Rainbow Dash adopts Scootaloo after a horrible series of revelations about her life. However she's starts to get overwhelmed by motherhood.
Rainbow Dash here all you awesome pony readers. So yea, big reveal, I’m a mom now. No, wouldn’t give it up for the world… still… anypony want a filly… I got one… I’m pretty sure I screwed something up here… help!
(This story is going to be somewhat episodic following the lives of Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash learning to become a family.)
Rainbow Dash here, sometimes known as… Momma Dash… yea my friends are twerps. How did this all happen? Let me think....
So I hear that some of you aren’t sure how seriously I took my sisterhood with Scootaloo after it started after an awesome camping trip. I tell you I- kinda regret- a lot of how I handled things.
I should have known something was wrong with her home life from day one, before I even became her sister. But even after that I wasn’t paying enough attention. I only ever flew with her on my back once or twice a week. Scoots thought I was gonna teach her everything I knew about flying, and honestly, that kinda broke my heart. I knew she was disabled from birth so there was nothing I could do in that department. However I had taken up a sisterhood so… I figured enough rough housing and free rides through the clouds would satisfy her for at least a little while. I couldn’t just forget about her after pledging to be her sister after all.
I started to notice something was wrong when she approached me one day wanting to hang out. Well that’s about when I should have noticed but, anyone who knows me knows I’m a bit naive.
(***)
“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Scoots shouted as I walked by her and her two friends Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. I shook my head.
“Ya know squirt, you need to stop referring to me by full name, you’re making me feel like an old mare.”
She ran over to me and got in front of me, making sure she was square in the middle of my vision and thus fully blocking the path I was currently walking on. “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash-“
“Sis.”
“Yea, I’m your sister now so-“
“No, just call me sis. I’m your sis, call me sis.”
“Okay… So Rainbow Dash sis, anyway” I groaned inwardly, doing my best not to upset a fan, “I was wondering if maybe, well ya know, you being my sister and all, if maybe I could-“
“Get on with it squirt.”
“Could I spend the day at your house?” She said the words with a face that lit up with enthusiasm, and then suddenly her ears stuck down and to the back of her head, like she just realized she had said something wrong and was afraid of the consequences.
I looked up and to the right. “Well I gotta work for a few hours tonight, but after that, why not? You already talked to your folks about this right?” Scootaloo didn’t nod, she seemed to think.
“Um… yes!”
“Did you or didn’t you?” I looked at her with a kind of half glare. “Hey, I don’t care how much you like me, you’re not getting me charged with foal napping.”
“No, no, no, don’t worry. My mom and dad just totally won’t care. They’ll be out all night anyway. They kinda expect me to be crusading, but everyone knows you and really if I’m in one place I’ll be easier to find anyway, right?”
I thought for a moment. Sure that wasn’t a “don’t worry, I’ve got permission”, but it was sound enough reasoning. Besides, my sisterhood deal with Scoots was well known in Ponyville, did I really think the police were going to arrest me for hanging out with my own sis for one night?
“Ya know, ah’ve never asked, but just who are yer parents anyway?” asked Apple Bloom. “Ah don’t recall ever seeing them.”
“I haven’t seen yours either,” said Scootaloo.
“Uh… yea… thanks and all for the painful memory,” said Apple Bloom, looking suddenly dejected. “Coulda done without that ta’day.”
Scootaloo seemed to suddenly realize what she had just done and started stuttering. “Oh- right- dead um…” Apple Bloom’s eyes doubled in size. My brain started going into over drive, Scoots was digging a hole and fast! There had to be a way to throw her a line or something.
“Which is really sad and we’re all so proud of how well you’re dealing with it, they were great ponies from what your sister says and any time you want to talk, AJ would love to I’m sure um… “ I began, Scootaloo getting the hint and just shutting up for a minute.
“It’s okay, ah get that ya’ll slipped. Ah… Ah’m gonna go home now.” Apple Bloom walked away, obviously trying to avoid hanging her head.
“Good going Scoots,” said Sweetie following their mutual friend.
I gave Scootaloo a lowered eyebrow look. She looked quietly off to the right. “Oops… heh, my bad.”
I sighed. “Everyone slips up. Why don’t you just head home, do your homework and then meet back up with me here at about eight?”
“Great, dinner too? In fact I’m pretty sure my folks won’t mind if I sleep over… please?” asked Scoots.
I rolled my eyes, but then had to think for a few seconds. “Dinner? Isn’t eight a little late for dinner?”
“No, not really. I usually eat just whenever.” Scootaloo replied.
“Me too,” I said, noticing how similar we were, instead of having the alarm bells go off in my head that should have. I wouldn’t realize the importance of that line until much later. “Well if you’ll be waiting to eat… how about we hit up the diner and get some Daisy Sandwiches at about seven? That’s where I was gonna head after work anyway. Trust me, you won’t wanna taste my cooking. Probably worse than yours, hehe…” I chuckled.
“How would you know?” Scootaloo asked, cocking her head to the side. “I don’t share my food often…. In fact I don’t remember ever doing so-”
“It’s a joke. Don’t worry. Meet me back here at seven.” I flew away, not giving anything about the matter a further thought.
Truth is, at work, as work is boring, all I could think about was hanging out with my fan filly and sister. I actually kinda wished I could have met with her earlier in the day, as I was going to go to bed not long after eight.
Still, I was pretty sure we would be able to catch a movie after dinner, and then maybe fly a few times around the town. Really there was a difficulty to determining just how fast I could go with a filly on my back. I wanted to impress her, but I didn’t want to make her fall off. It actually made me look forward to flying with her just as much if not more than flying alone. What can I say, I love a challenge.
(***)
Seven o’clock came. Clocking out I shot away from the weather factory, not caring for small talk. I was already looking at being late as it was. Course as I flew over the town, I realized who it was waiting for me with some relief. Scootaloo would have waited for a visit with me all day if necessary.
I flew over the area a few meters away from the school house where we agreed to meet. There she was, staring at the sky and carrying saddle bags. Not sure what the bags were for. I had my own but they were for carrying money and stuff from work. I touched down next to her. “Didn’t quite get everything done from school yet? That’s okay, you’ll have time while we eat.”
Scoots looked at me curiously. “No, I finished.”
“Then what’s with the saddlebags? You don’t wear those everywhere, I know that.”
“No I don’t. I just needed something to carry my money in.”
“Scoots… I’m paying. You’re my guest.”
“I’m the one who asked to spend time with you.”
“Yea but you’re eight, how much money do you have?”
“Enough.” I raised an eyebrow to her. “Okay so this cuts a little into my food budget but that’s okay. I’ll just eat a little more at the Apple house. It’s not hard to convince them to let me eat there.”
I nodded. “Still kiddo, are you’re folks poor? Shoot I didn’t know that. Look I’ll just take care of the food it’s no problem. I mean especially if you’ll have to ask for charity as a result.” Scootaloo started to look uncomfortable. “Look, just don’t worry about money tonight. I planned on treating you anyway.” Scootaloo shrugged.
“Still I-“ having enough of debating this, I snatched her up and just shot over to the small diner in town. Hey, sometimes you just gotta take charge with kids right? Once we landed, she looked around, but shrugged and smiled.
We waited in line to be seated, something I kinda despise doing as it’s just a diner, but they are pretty much the only place in town and I wasn’t flying all the way to Manehatten for the closest fast food joint. After being seated, and waiting the requisite number of tedious minute for a waiter to show up, finally I got to order. Scootaloo was just happy to be spending time with me, I could tell, but me, I wanted to be watching movies and shooting around the clouds with her, not sitting on our rumps doing nothing. “I’ll take a daisy sandwich with hay fries,” I said quickly.
“And your daughter?” asked the waiter.
I chuckled. “Oh she wishes. Scoots here is my biggest fan… though she’s kinda my sister.” The waiter raised an eyebrow. “Roll with it. Anyway, what do you want kid?”
“Um- extra-large hay fries, three daisy sandwiches… no, can you get six?” she asked me. My eyes must have doubled in size. “Too much?”
“Too much, are you kidding?! Six sandwiches? Kid you’re throwing my money-” I snapped. Her shoulders went down quickly and she shirked back. Suddenly I remembered her comment that this meal was cutting into her family’s food budget. I looked at the waiter. “Can you take a hike for a minute? We’ll order in a little bit.” He nodded and walked away. I looked back at the now nervous filly. “Kid, are you in trouble? You were ordering for later meals there weren’t you?”
“Look I’m just sick of cold soup every day okay?” she asked back. “I thought you were loaded.”
“Well,” I thought for a minute. I was starting to get the feeling Scoots’ family was in a bit of a rough patch. Snapping at her or making her feel guilty just didn’t feel right. From the sounds of it, compared to her, “I kinda am.” I said, not sure how the words tasted after I said them. “But really, you should ask for that kind of thing first.”
“Oh.”
"Look squirt if you need some well… charity, maybe you’d like to talk to Twi? We all like ya and if you and your folks need help well- c’mon, give me some credit. I can’t be sitting pretty while my sister starves, how does that make me look?” Scootaloo looked off into the distance. “Look I guess I understand if you don’t want to talk to Twi tonight. However, maybe I can just come over and talk to your folks about what’s going on?”
"Well… they’re not gonna be home tonight.”
“Not at all?” she shook her head.
“Can we please just go on like this didn’t happen? I’ll just order one sandwich.”
The gears were turning in my head. I didn’t just leave friends in a lurch, it just didn’t work that way. However, if she wanted me to ignore everything… maybe it would be better to try a different tact to find out what was up with her and her folks. Kinda the way I often operate. If someone pushes me away from the direct approach, I often force my way in when I want to help. However I couldn’t just announce that so, “Sure thing!” I said smiling.
Well, the meal went by without many other events. Scoots always has questions for me, tonight they were all about Wonder Bolt training camp. I tried to skip the parts about me being reckless and almost getting my friends killed… I’m proud of standing up for my values in the end when I realized just how out of whack things were, but, Scoots was a little young to get the whole picture there.
The movie we watched was Iron Pony about a flying unicorn who used magic armor to fight an evil Pegasi warlord with supernatural powers. The effects were great. Heck the timber wolves in the final fight looked so real! Scoots looked a little nervous during that battle scene, so I gave her shoulder a quick squeeze saying “Hey don’t worry squirt. Those things ever attack, you know who will take care of it.”
Unfortunately that was all we had time for that night. Well it was a Friday, so I could have stayed up late, but like I said, the gears in my head were turning. I was gonna need time to bring my plans to fruition tomorrow, which meant waking up early.
(***)
The next day came and I rose with the sun for the first time in weeks. A quick glass of orange juice and a pear (AJ would so bite my head off for having those in my house) and I headed for the first pony I knew could help.
I flew over Sweet Apple Acres for a few minutes, hoping the CMC weren’t out yet. I heard a southern accented yell as I passed over for a third time.
“Ah hey Dash, what’re you doin’ up?” I quickly flew down to Applejack and her big brother. “Hey there sugar cube,” AJ said as I landed. “I was trying to get done so I could hang out wit you an’ the girls later on. Can whatever wait?”
“Well… pretty sure I’m not gonna be there later.”
"Awww…” she said, looking disappointed. “The other girls don’t like gettin’ physical, all they wanna do half the time is talk.”
“Yea, still, something came up.”
“Well, ya wouldn’t a’ flown all the way out here fer no reason. What’s goin’ on?” She took a seat as her brother kept checking the corn field.
“It’s about Scootaloo. Yesterday she was acting weird. Ya see, she asked to hang out with me, so after work I went ahead and took her out to eat.”
“Well that sure was nice o’ ya. That filly looks up ta ya somethin’ fierce.”
“I know she does. And that’s why this is bugging me so much. First she tried to pay for her own meal, which I made sure to tell her everything was my treat and all, but then she said something about being relieved because that might have cut into her “food budget”.” I used air quotes on that last line. “Then at the meal, she actually tried to order six sandwiches on my tab!”
“Honey that sounds… peculiar.”
“Yea I know. At first I was angry, but then things kinda clicked ya know? I think she’s poor. She was ordering left overs.” I thought for a second, holding up a hoof to keep AJ from interrupting. “Ya know what, how much does she eat over here?”
“All the time, but so does Sweetie Belle and ah’m pretty sure her family is fine. Then again though,” she looked up for a few seconds. “Yea Scoots does tend to take seconds quite often. Ah always thought she was just active an’ got an appetite. She even asks for leftovers all the time. Ah’ve asked why before but she just says she and her family really likes ma’ cookin’ and ah take the compliment.” She nodded her head. “”Food budget” is a pretty meaningful phrase. Ah’ve had to use it ma’self when times get rough, but most folks like to isolate their kids from knowin’ they got problems. For her to be worrying about getting’ food herself during social calls like that, her family must be havin’ some real problems. Tell ya what, Scootaloo is a good friend to ma sis an’ ah’d hate ta think o’ her goin’ hungry. Later today I’ll ride on over an talk ta her folks directly an’ see if we can work out sharing some of our surplus apples.”
“Thanks I knew I could count on you.”
“Ah don’t mention it, Scoots is over here so often ah forget she don’t live here.”
I nodded. “Thanks again. I’m going to go talk to Twi, maybe she can organize a food drive.”
“Now hold on there Nelly!” AJ said putting up a hoof as I was about to take off again. “You don’t actually know what’s happenin’, yer just making assumptions. Ah don’t mind helpin’ ya look inta things and all, but a lot a’ folks don’t like their problems becomin’ public.” I looked at her with lowered eyebrows. I was NOT going to let a filly starve for her parent’s pride. “Ah’m not suggestin’ ya do nothin’. But why don’tcha go talk ta Mr. and Mrs. Purple themselves first? Ifn’ ya don’t wanna embarrass her, Scoots’ll be here in about thirty minutes ta go crusadin’. You can go to her house then.” I sighed. I was on a roll, but what AJ said made sense. So I nodded and flew back for my house to wait until Scootaloo left her home so I could go talk to her folks.
(***)
About forty five minutes later, I stood outside Scoots home. I’d been in and out of that house a few times, the door almost always unlocked. However today I felt like it would be appropriate to knock so I did. After getting no answer for a few minutes, I decided to screw the whole courtesy thing however and just opened the door and walked in.
“Mr and Mrs. Purple?” I called as I walked in. “Purple Cloud? Violet Blaze?” Really I had only met those two ponies once a long time ago, but I had a lock jaw memory for names. No answers.
I looked around the home. The home of the Purples was always a mess. Nothing too bad mind you, mud here and there, magazines tossed about, but no horrible smell or anything, just untidy. I sighed. It was becoming pretty clear I was the only one here.
Despite my rough tough image, I don’t like being seen as a crook. A super star yes, a crook no. I knew looking through ponies’ stuff for evidence of just how bad off they were would probably look wrong. Still… this was about Scootaloo. She was a good friend and I would do anything for a friend. So I started looking around.
First the cupboards. Empty. Just a few cans of soup. The fridge… wasn’t even on. Actually I turned around and checked the lights. I had thought nothing of it before, but none of them were on. I flipped a few switches, but no light. This was terrible!
Back in the living room of the house I sat down for a minute just taking it all in. Scoots looked to be… well… starving. How could I have not noticed something like that? Maybe Apple Jack’s food kept her going most of the time? Pinkie’s muffins? Snacks from Twilight after studying? Actually how she could almost never eat at home and survive pretty well started to strike me. We lived in a pretty generous town I myself didn’t eat at home half of any given week.
Something on a table in the middle of the room caught my eye. A small envelop with bits spilling out of it. I turned the envelope over. “From mom for Scootaloo” it said. Why they heck would she leave money on the table? Besides… hang on a sec…
I looked at the magazines. A good number of them were about scooters and maintaining them. A few were about flight and a few had interviews with me but… nothing to indicate interests I didn’t know from Scootaloo. No electricity… I rushed back to the kitchen and turned on the sink. No water… money on the table from mom. She orders left over food when going out on someone else’s tab, she takes leftovers from Apple Jack, she rarely talks about her folks… she eats whenever she wants… oh sweet Celestia like that one line shouldn’t have told me everything! Fillies don’t determine their own meal times, Rainbow you stupid-CRAP! Scootaloo wasn’t poor, her parents just didn’t give a flying buck about her! All the evidence said only one pony even lived here, one who didn’t know how to pay bills or cook and only had a moderate budget anyway.
Scoots was living as an abandoned foal pretty much, from the looks of things and here I was her big sister, just giving her a few rides a week or something. I got non-stop worship from a fan for pretty much living life, meanwhile that fan was probably one unattended sickness from… really… was that… could she really die from this?...
A voice broke my little moment of dark thoughts. “Mr. and Mrs. Purple? A little bird told me ya’ll might be needin’ some help with somethin’. No trouble really, just thought ah might help out.” I snatched the envelope on the table scooping the bits into it with my hoof and carrying it to AJ in my mouth. “Oh hey there RD.” I spat the envelop at her feet. “Um what’s thi-“
“I’m gonna kill them,” I said, unable to stop myself. “I’m gonna kill them both.”
I showed AJ what I had discovered, basically giving her a tour of Scootaloo’s house.
We both sat in the living room of the house. Applejack looked around. “Ah just don’t understand it. Why buy this house, why bother givin’ her bits at all ifn’ yer not gonna-“ I shot her a glare. “Course ah suppose that’s all that kept her alive so we should be grateful she had that much.” I went back to staring at the carpet of the house. “She can’t stay here another night, ah won’t hear of it.”
“Me neither. I guess I could just take her home if I wanted, not like those ****s would know any different.” Applejack’s eyes doubled in size almost. “What?”
“Nothin’ really. Ah always took ya for the cussin’ type, just never heard it.”
“I went to a military Academy, course I know how to cuss. But why would I cuss out my friends?”
She shrugged and nodded. She looked to the door. “Well, this is depressin’ an all, but we gotta git goin’. Ah will go get the mayor, how about you go talk to Twilight?” She got up. “Not sure what the old girl can do in this here situation legally an’ all, but her word should be important in court.”
“Yea.” I slowly got up too.
“Ya’ll will probably get back first so, see ya then.”
(***)
I flew to Twilight’s castle and zipped in one of the windows. I found her in the library going through one of the spell books she recovered from the castle of the two sisters. Normally I try to be at least somewhat polite, but today I was done with that noise. I flew over to her, closed her book and glared at her.
She raised her eyebrows. “So… hi Rainbow, how can I help you?” I turned away, snorting, knowing she was rolling her eyes at me as I did so. “You do know doors exist for a reason, right?”
“I wasn’t waiting, now c’mon we’re going to Scootaloo’s house.”
Twilight shook her head at me. “Rainbow, this is the third time this week you’ve broken into my home and demanded attention, so ya know what? This time, whatever it is, can wait.”
“What?... I’ve been good this week haven’t I?”
“Nope, you filled your quota of rudeness for the week.” She opened her book again on her desk and started reading once more, this time with a kind of deliberate smile. “You’re a good friend Rainbow, but you’re just gonna sit there and wait till I’m done-“
“I need to show you something.”
“I’m sure you do, but-“
“Something you need to see as a princess.”
Twilight gave a slight sigh, but kept her smile, staying calm. “You do remember we’re just friends right? I’m not YOUR princess. After all, I could have just tossed you out on your flank,” she finally looked up from her book again at the next statement. “Not like that would be hard. Still, I’m trying to be nice, but you’re pushing-“ I know that kinda seems like a threat, but the way she said it just didn’t sound like it.
Still I wasn’t listening really, just planning my next interruption. “I need you to see Scootaloo’s house. AJ is about to lodge a complaint about foal neglect with the mayor.”
“Rainbow if you would just let me finish a sen- now what now? Foal what?”
“Foal neglect.”
Twilight blinked at me. Then she blinked her right eye. Then her right eye blinked a few more times, I think of its own accord. “One more time. You’re saying somepony is doing WHAT in my Ponyville?!”
“Your Ponyville?”
“I pretty much run this place, let’s face it. Now, repeat, just for the sake of my assurance that-”
“Foal neglect. I believe Scootaloo’s parents have pretty much abandoned her.”
Twilight closed her book, lowering her eyebrows. Starting to reflect the same rage I felt. “Show me.”
(***)
After showing Twilight around, I was actually surprised by her reactions. Twilight has her moments, but she’s usually a little more controlled than I am. Still, she does read a lot so…
“Those **** and their **** have the unadulterated gull to be abusing a foal I have been personally teaching. I’m gonna **** right up their **** and **** **** with a cheese sandwich!” I shouldn’t have been too surprised she knew that many words. So yea… did I mention that when she gets going, Twilight pretty much blows away my temper tantrums no problem? It’s usually related to some sort of anxiety, but I think this pushed a button for her.
Oh yea, by the way, several guard ponies were there investigating and doing general police work. Those in the living room started backing away from the enraged demi-god. Applejack entered, I suppose realizing whose job it was to reign ponies in around here. “Now Twilight-“
“I’m not calming down!” Twilight yelled. “Because if I do, I have to think about how no one noticed this and all the clues are screaming through my head as I speak. She spent how many afternoons at my house? How hard would it have been to ask her just once,” she started to do an impression of… herself. “”Hey Scootaloo, how’s it going at home?” just once?!” She started gritting her teeth. “Just one time! Apparently Spike’s nachos were the best meals she had those days.” Twilight paused. She started breathing in and out hard. “You know I… a few days ago she was at my home working on building another scooter and she asked for seconds on those nachos and I said “no”… I said “no” to a starving filly… what does that make me?!”
Applejack twisted her lips. “Twilight.” AJ has this bazaar look she gives ponies that says a whole lot all by itself. She gave that look to Twi and Twilight nodded like she had just received a lecture and been verbally put back in her place.
“Yea yea, it’s not our fault, still… you’re not pissed off too?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, but ah know how to control it.” We both looked at her questioningly. “Ah’m just envisioning all the things ah’m gonna do to her parents next time ah see em’. Try it.”
I did NOT want to know what Twilight was thinking, because the smile that crossed her lips for a few seconds… yea, not something I wanna see again. She got up and looked around the room. “Sorry everypony,” she slowly let out a long breath, waving her hoof in the air. “We need to get to business.” She then turned to us and gave a yell, “The leader of these guards better show him or herself right now or-“ a large male earth pony appeared in front of the three of us, quickly taking off his helmet and saluting. “Good.” Again she breathed deep. “If Celestia taught me anything, it’s that no one messes with foals around her. Well me neither, is that clear?” the guard nodded. “I said is that clear!?” All three of us nodded. “Good! Now we need a plan. There will be a trial after all. You,” she pointed at the guard, “Get one of your unicorns to do a recording spell for when I get Scootaloo’s statement when she gets back from crusading. Not sure how much she’ll cooperate, but we’ll need whatever testimony she gives, intentionally or not.” She then pointed at me. “You…” she smiled. “Not everything about this has to be unpleasant right?” I looked at her with confusion. “Scootaloo obviously can’t be allowed to stay here but why not just have her stay with you? I’m sure she would like that.”
I looked right, then left, twisting my lips. “Normally, but we’re kinda gonna be arresting her parents. I’m guessing that won’t put her in a good mood.”
Twilight nodded. “Well right now I’m more worried about her health than her mood. I’m trying to give her something to be happy about, but mostly I want her somewhere safe. Will she be safe with you?” I nodded. “Good. You’re her temporary legal guardian as of the second we hear her voice…” she trailed off, us all waiting for her to just happen to speak up at that line. “Wow that usually works. Anyway… ya know, try to do something to make her feel better… take her to Pinkie.” She pointed at AJ. “You-“
“Ah have a name.”
“Sorry, Applejack you and the mayor get the word out that anyone who sees Purple Cloud or Violet Blaze is to report back to me at once!” She looked back at the guard. “And you again… what is your name?”
“Rock Stomper Ma’am.”
“Hm… nice name. You cordon off this house and have your stallions and mares gather any evidence you think will help in court. Mostly I want pictures so have a few camera ready. I’m going to get a letter to Princess Celestia and one to my brother and his wife in the Crystal Empire. These ****s aren’t getting away long as they’re in Equestria.” The guard’s eyes went wide, hearing his beloved princess of friendship cussing again. “Everyone got their jobs? Yes? Let’s go!- Rainbow you stay here.”
And just like that, I was alone. Surrounded by guard ponies sure, but I was essentially alone. I walked out of the home and looked back at it. As I looked on, guard ponies started putting yellow tape around Scootaloo’s home. Was this real? I had walked in and out of that home several times over the last two years, how had I never noticed something was wrong before? Was I paying so little attention? I pride myself on being able to take in everything from the air yet right in front of me… she… she could have died. What if she got sick? Just one time and that would have been it, she would have died alone.
As I continued to look I heard a young pony shout behind me “Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo galloped up to me. “You’re at my house, this is so cool! You wanna hang out again?” Not sure how she missed all the police tape, but apparently Sweetie Belle didn’t.
“Um Scootaloo… that’s your house right?” she asked.
Scootaloo glanced at the house, but then looked back at me. She paused. She looked back. Then she turned around. “The whooey?” she asked.
Apple Bloom walked forward. “Did somepony get hurt?” she asked.
How was I supposed to talk about this with the crusaders? Actually… didn’t Twilight say something about getting a statement from Scootaloo- and just like that there she was. I think she was hovering above us until Scootaloo arrived, but I’m not sure. She was supposed to send those letters after all and I don’t know when-
“Scootaloo!” she yelled, startling the filly. “Rock Stomper, get me a unicorn!” A young mare ran over to Twilight. “We need to talk. Now!”
“Am I in trouble?” Scootaloo asked. “I swear I didn’t do it.” Twilight started to glare at her. “Well okay so the glue on your Daring Do book, that was me… but it was just an accident I swear… actually I was planning on buying you a new copy-“
“You hurt one of my books?!” Twilight yelled.
“Twi we’re supposed to- Daring Do?!” I yelled. I shook my head, as did Twilight.
Twilight’s eyes went wide, probably finally coming to her senses and realizing that she was freaking out a foal abuse victim. She sighed and made a warm smile. I don’t know how she does that, goes from firing all guns at a pony to that motherly look, but I did my best to replicate it. “It’s okay. I can just buy another. And no, you’re not in trouble, so calm down.”
Scootaloo actually seemed to become more concerned. “Was somepony hurt in my house?” she asked.
The unicorn next to Twilight performed a spell of some kind, a white glowing ball levitating over our group. “No… well… technically you were.” Scootaloo looked confused at this statement, her friends starting to look concerned themselves. “Scootaloo, when’s the last time you saw your parents?”
“Hm?” Scootaloo asked back. “Why would you want to know that? Well… last week. Mom made sure I wasn’t sick like she always does, left me some money and went back to Baltimare… wait, I wasn’t supposed to tell where she works, can you forget that?”
Twilight blinked, but didn’t answer her question. She kept that smile however. “How long have you been without power or water?”
Scootaloo started to think. “Oh that? A mean stallion turned that stuff off last month. Apparently mom didn’t pay him… again…” she said, starting to sound irritated. “Oh well, there’s lots of drinking fountains.”
Twilight sniffed the air above Scootaloo. “How do you bathe?”
“Um… do I have to answer that?” Scootaloo blushed. Twilight nodded. “Well, I kinda snuck over and stole some water from Sweet Apple Acres every morning this month… Sorry AB…”
“Um… it’s okay…?” Apple Bloom said. I was getting the feeling the only pony who didn’t realize what was wrong with Scootaloo’s answers was Scootaloo herself.
“Thanks… guess I should have asked.”
“It’s um… okay.”
Twilight spoke up again. “How about your food? What do you eat week to week?”
“Why do you want to know? I mean, these are kinda weird questions.”
“I’m your princess, just answer.”
“Okay I guess,” Scootaloo continued. “Well for breakfast I usually eat a few muffins at Sugar Cube corner. Pinkie can always be convinced to give you stuff for free if you get there early enough to get her baking mistakes. She says I’m her little garbage disposal,” Scootaloo said with a chuckle.
I started shifting uncomfortably at the mention of a friend’s name. Twilight quickly whispered in my ear, “I’m sure Pinkie doesn’t know what’s going on.” I nodded.
“I buy stuff at the store like cheese and vegetables for sandwiches… some weeks I don’t have enough for all my lunches, like when I need to fix up my scooter… those weeks I try to just buy canned soup. It’s not very good, but it’s cheap and when I get hungry enough, it doesn’t matter anymore ya know?... Sweetie why are you looking at me like that?” She thought again. “Some weeks I kinda can’t resist and get some stuff at Sugar Cube Corner and well… sorry again Apple Bloom, those weeks I try to spend more time at your home so I can eat your sister’s cooking… really your sister makes the best- seriously why are you guys looking at me like that?”
Twilight asked another question before anypony could answer. “When was the last time you went to the dentist?”
“I don’t remember.”
“How about the last time you had a doctor checkup?”
Scootaloo looked up, seeming to have to really strain to remember. “Um…maybe when I was five, sorry, I just don’t remember.”
Twilight levitated the envelope with Scootaloo’s mother’s money in it in front of Scootaloo. “This was from your mother yes?” Scootaloo nodded. “I’m gonna need to take it.”
“Hold on, I need that for food,” Scootaloo said, reaching for the envelope, that action alone making a breath hold in my throat. I reached my hoof out to hold her back nonetheless. “You guys are stealing from me!”
Twilight shook her head. “Technically, no you’re not.”
Apple Bloom put a hoof in front of Scootaloo and pushed her away from the house, starting to glare at the house as if protecting her friend from it. “Yer comin’ home with me. We’ve got enough food to go around an’-”
“Actually she’s going to be staying with me,” I put in.
“And just like that I don’t care what’s going on, AWESOME!” Scootaloo shouted. “Just let me get a few things and-“ but Apple Bloom didn’t let her go, Twilight putting herself deliberately between her and the house as well.
“You can’t go back in that house…. Actually you won’t ever be allowed back in that building if I have anything to say about it.” Twilight said.
“Huh… what are you guys doing?” Scootaloo said, starting to sound more and more worried. “This is my home.”
“No, frankly it’s a house, not a home,” said Twilight. “You’ll find out what a home is with Rainbow here I think.” I nodded. “The guard ponies are going through the house right now. I’ve told them to make sure not to break anything that belongs to you and trust me when I say everything that is yours will be returned to you in time.”
“Something… there’s something wrong with what my mom is doing isn’t there?” Scootaloo finally asked. Twilight nodded. Scootaloo paused. “I was starting to think about that… I just… what does this mean? What’s gonna happen to my mom?”
Twilight mumbled. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one of the group who understood what she said. “Well the Castle of Friendship has a dungeon I wasn’t sure what to do with until now.”
Scootaloo paused again. “Will… will my mom be arrested?” Twilight nodded. “NO! I… can you just warn her? She can change… or maybe I can go live with somepony else and-“
“Oh that’s gonna happen anyway,” Twilight interrupted, being firm, but not having the sarcasm I might have had.
“Then just leave her alone… I’ll cooperate, just leave my mom alone. She’s not a bad pony.”
A pony could have stabbed me in the ribs and I wouldn’t have noticed at that point. Just hearing her trying to defend that bitch… it was breaking my heart. What kind of a sick twisted pony just leaves money on a table and walks away from her own foal more than once? I’ve heard about foal neglect, but looking at it… it just makes no sense. Why would anypony ever do something like that? If you can’t care for a child just have it adopted for Celestia sake, don’t keep it and make it starve! Any place other than Ponyville this filly would be dead for sure by now.
Twilight continued, however I was distracted by a tap on the shoulder. Applejack motioned with her head for me to come away from the group.
Once we were a few meters away, Applejack took off her hat. “Ah really messed up didn’t ah?” she asked. I looked at her with wide eyes. “Well which adult here has had the most contact with Scoots?”
“Why should you feel that way? I’m her big sister!” I argued.
“Ya never took that seriously.”
A slight squeak escaped my throat. I wanted so bad to argue with her, but she was right. I really didn’t spend that much time with Scootaloo. As her big sister, I was pretty much useless. “I should have,” I said, avoiding eye contact.
I looked back at the CMC and Twilight, smiling as I heard Scootaloo whining about not wanting to be hugged, only to have Sweetie unceremoniously announce “That’s too bad, you’re getting hugged anyway!”
“AJ… what’s my role here? Twilight is gonna get things rolling legally, Pinkie will cheer her up, Fluttershy will probably be there to dry a few tears and I’m guessing you’re going to adopt Scoots… but me…”
“Me… adopt?” Applejack asked, shaking her head to get out of her depression and putting her hat back on. “Now hold on a minute here. Ah was just sayin’ how this is partially ma’ fault-“
“AJ you’re the only reason she’s alive. It’s your food that kept her healthy I’m sure of it. More than that, according to her, without it, she would have had to scrape and scrounge for food every week instead of keeping up her scooter and do other fun things.” I chuckled. “A more sentimental pony would say you saved her childhood.”
“Yea but… ah mean ah guess ah could adopt…”
“I think you should.”
“An’ if ya want my thoughts, ah think you should.” She tapped my chest with her right hoof.
“ME?!” I shouted, almost forgetting that Scoots’ interview was still going on not far away. “C’mon AJ, I’m brash, immature, lazy, my house is in the sky, I’m egotistical… are you going to disagree with me or just keep nodding your head?” I asked, narrating what AJ was doing.
“You’re brash, but we can help you there, sides ah know you’d never hurt Scoots. Yer immature, which means you’ll be able to relate. Ya hold two jobs so actually yer not really that lazy. Ya’ll can just move. Finally yer ego is kinda irrelevant if ya ask me.” Her shoulders slumped and her eyes seemed to start watering as she said her next line. “Besides, ah know is sounds wrong, but fer the life of me, ah don’t want her. Ah could take care of her, ah could grow to love her. But with you Rainbow, she’s more than just a kid who hangs out at yer house isn’t she?” I nodded. “Sides, are we forgetting what ah just said about this being partially ma fault?”
“No I’m ignoring that because it’s stupid,” I said bluntly. “None of us were as involved as we should have been. I’ve been banging the whole, “is this my fault?” question around in my head for the last few hours. I want to say “no” but… fact is when I finally did start asking questions yesterday, Scootaloo wasn’t even being secretive. None of us asked, none of us helped.” On this statement, both of us mares were quiet, avoiding eye contact with each other. After a few very long seconds, I spoke up again. “To be honest, I know I brought it up, but I’m not sure I even want to talk about who’s going to adopt her right now.”
AJ nodded. “Ah know what ya mean. But we should get this cleared up and the sooner the better. Out of the six of us friends, I think you and I r’ probably the best choices. Rarity isn’t involved, Pinkie is the least mature of us all, Fluttershy has enough problems with Discord, sides ah don’t see her or Rarity relating to Scootaloo very well, Twilight has a kingdom to run and then there’s you and me.”
“Well you’ve already raised a filly.”
“And you want her more than ah do.”
“I don’t know about that. Besides… maybe on being immature, but other than that how the heck do you think I can relate to her? She’s a disabled filly about to lose her parents. I’m fully capable, always have been and my family is mostly intact.”
“Mostly?” AJ raised an eye brow.
I sat down. “Yea well… you know the story there.”
“Indulge me. Tell it to me again.”
I closed my eyes, pulling forth the most painful memory of my entire life. “I was seven. I was in the stands with my dad as my mother was performing her stunts for hundreds of ponies. She flipped and dodged, zipped and zoomed and the crowd went wild… then… she pulled a dive bomb stunt shooting straight for the ground. She didn’t pull up in time and… and-“
“Ah think that’s enough to make ma point,” Applejack interrupted. “Every single one of our friends has something bad that happened in their lives. That’s just the nature of the world. Yes, I lost both of ma parents. You lost yer mother. Pinkie, Twilight and Fluttershy all left their homes at very young ages and Rarity has had to sell every single thing she owned more than once before she finally became successful. You live long enough, yer gonna lose something or someone important, it’s just a matter a’ time. You can relate to Scootaloo on that just fine. Anypony can.”
“Let’s not forget you’re wiser than I am.”
“Let’s not forget yer a pegasus an’ ah’m not.”
“You should take her.”
Applejack looked up at the sky. “Confound it Rainbow, look at us, the two most stubborn ponies in Ponyville. How are we gonna settle this?”
“You adopt her. I’ll just concentrate on being a better big sister.”
“Ah’m not gonna get much help from you on what ah just asked ah see.” She thought for a moment. “Look, tell ya what, ah am not taking her adoption by me off the table. Just keep in mind, ah’m trying to get rid of her and ya’ll r’ tryin’ to do what’s best for her, what sounds more motherly out of the two of those?” I rolled my eyes at this. “Didn’t think that would work, but had ta try. Still, you take care of her for one month. If after one month ya still want me to be her mother, then come talk to me again. Deal?” I nodded.
Twilight’s interview eventually concluded and she called me over to take Scootaloo home.
Before I left, she pulled me aside.
“Rainbow, I don’t know if I handled this right but… I… I pretty much told her everything.” She looked away from me with a guilty and unhappy grin. “Maybe that wasn’t right but I didn’t think it would be right to keep her in the dark either. I want to comfort her myself, but I can’t, I’ve got a lot to do, especially with this kind of a case.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s not forget a few summits are coming up too.”
“It’s okay you have kingdom to help run.”
“All the same, I’m not going to just ignore my subjects. Like I said, I can’t be Scootaloo’s primary comforter in this, but if you need me, you know where I live of course.” I nodded. “Good. Anyway, here’s what happening. Scootaloo’s parents are being summoned to trial for their actions, if either of them fail to show up they will be arrested and taken to trial anyway. The trial is set for one week from today. As for what will most likely happen, given what I’ve seen, Scootaloo’s parents will lose all custody rights and most likely, all visitation until she’s eighteen.” I nodded. “As you can imagine, Scootaloo didn’t take that last part very well. That’s when Sweetie Belle hugged her.” Twilight smiled. “She has good friends. Whoever ends up having custody of Scootaloo after this, is not to pursue a relationship with her former parents. I can’t guarantee all of that will happen, but that’s what I’ll be pushing for in court, and as you know, my word does tend to carry just little bit of weight.” Twilight turned to the house. “Finally her home. Her possessions like her toys and bed will be taken as evidence for a while, but if she wants them back, I promise we’ll be quick about getting them to her. What food she had will be donated to the poor, as by the time its released from evidence, she should be eating better things than canned soup anyway so we won’t bother her with it. Finally the house itself is pretty much condemned. We’re going to tear it down when we’re done.” My eyes went wide. “Yea she didn’t like that either. But it made sense to me. No pony will want to live in that place knowing what happened and no way am I letting Scootaloo back in so well… the wood will be re-purposed, probably into other homes to be honest, or maybe firewood, that sort of thing. Essentially she’s going to be moving on. This may seem fast and maybe a little extreme but… it just has to be done.” Twilight looked up at me. “I’m doing the right thing here right? I shouldn’t have to ask but still… you have my back in this right?”
“Hundred and ten percent Twi.” Twilight motioned for me to go to Scootaloo.
I felt an odd feeling as I picked up the confused Scootaloo. I deposited her on my back and she wrapped her hooves around my neck as she always did when riding on me, however, there was no feeling of happiness. There was no sadness either though. She was just… kinda blank.
I felt guilty for not taking her to my house when she was happy before. She would have loved it and I would have loved to see her so excited. Especially in that moment, I wished I actually had a memory of her being so happy to balance out the absolute nothingness I was now getting from her.
I flew up into the clouds at an even pace. As I went, I looked back to her She didn’t have her usual grin that she did when she flew with me. She did smile however. It was a simple smile. She looked like she was trying to let the wind blow away her cares slowly. Eventually I saw tears and had to look away.
Apple Jack was right, because of my mother I could sympathize a little. But that was why I couldn’t say anything.
Finally I brought her into my home.
Scootaloo got off my back and slowly walked around. She wasn’t crying, she was just quiet. I closed the door and just sat watching her for a while, having no idea what to say or how to say it.
Finally I tried something. “Do you want to be alone?” ‘Wow… I’m a freakin’ coward.’ I thought to myself. ‘Everyone was so nice to me when I got drunk and went crazy about Tank’s hibernation and that’s all I can say to someone with real pain?’
“I don’t know.” Scootaloo said.
I walked over to her. “I need you to tell me what you need. Help me out here please?”
“How?”
“Well… what are you feeling? You’re not crying so…”
“I don’t know.”
I thought for another minute. I couldn’t leave her like this. When my mother died I must have cried for like an hour and my dad was a mess. I don’t remember not knowing what to feel at all. “Do you understand what happened?”
Scootaloo sat down. Remembering it was in my saddle bags, I gave her back her scooter. She took it and hugged it to herself. “Kind of. I’d been thinking about how different my mother was from other mothers I’ve seen around town. Button Masher’s mom is there every time I’m in his house. I often don’t see Sweetie’s parents, but when I don’t, I see Rarity. They’re not alone like I always am.”
“You shouldn’t be alone, you understand that right?”
“But you live here alone,” she replied, looking around at my large home. “Don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Why is that okay but it’s not okay for me to be alone?”
“Well, I can take care of myself.”
“So can I.” She thought for a moment. “Well… maybe not that well. I guess now that I think about it, I wasn’t really taking care of myself was I? Other ponies were, they just didn’t know it.” Scootaloo folded her forelegs under herself, basically laying down. She actually looked to be experiencing a small tummy ache as she was kind of gentle when her hooves touched her stomach. I could definitely sympathize with feeling a little like throwing up. “But still, she didn’t do anything to hurt me. She gave me money, she gave me a home, she checked in on me monthly… sometimes weekly… even daily a few times. She took care of me a few times when I was sick. A couple times when I was upset and she was there, she got me candy and made me feel better by saying nice things to me. I remember… I remember being hugged by her so many times, it felt... it felt good.” She looked at the ground. “She never hurt me, she only helped me. She just didn’t take AS MUCH care of me as other mothers. Was she really doing the wrong thing by not doing enough? Can just NOT doing something really be wrong?”
I sat down next to the filly. I then breathed in slowly and then out again. “It can be just as wrong as doing something.” She looked up at me. “You don’t really understand do you?” she shook her head. “Can I see this?” I asked, reaching for the scooter that was now resting next to her. She slowly shrugged. I took the board. “So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m going to set this outside. I’m only going to bring it in once a week and if it get’s messed up, I will neither clean it, nor do any maintenance. Now I’ll make sure to bring it in but-“
“Give me back my scooter!” she shouted, yanking the toy away from me. She paused. “I get it.” She set her scooter down again. “But why would you do that?” I didn’t want to answer. Scootaloo stood up and started to glare at the ground. “Don’t want to say, huh? Fine, I think I know. You would do it because you don’t really care about my scooter. Why should you care about my scooter? It’s just a scooter, why should you care? Why should anyone?!” she threw the scooter away. I caught it easily. I looked at her, tears running down my own cheeks. “Why are YOU crying?”
“Because you’re hurt Scoots. You’re my friend, you have been for a long time, even if I didn’t always treat you like one. I hate seeing my friends hurt.” Scootaloo laid back down on the floor. Not knowing what else do to, I joined her, wrapping one of my wings around her.
I supposed I was being the wise older sister, but I sure didn’t feel like it. I wanted to make her feel better. I thought about Sugar Cube Corner but… well what she was feeling had to be something like what I felt when my mom passed so I knew that would actually make it worse somehow. I could let her be alone. I wanted to just be alone so many times after my mom passed, and for a while my dad went ahead and left me alone. However, I remembered that towards the end of when I was feeling sad, he started saying “no” to letting me be alone. I actually felt better when I wasn’t alone. He only hugged me a few times, I didn’t want to be hugged over and over, that would actually have made it worse too. I pulled my wing back and just stayed next to her.
I don’t know how long I laid next to her, wanting to hug her again, but I was just so sure it wasn’t what she needed. Finally I stood back up. She looked up as I did, as if to beg me to get back down with her. I pulled myself away, now I knew what that look did to my dad. “You hungry?” She shook her head. “Probably not, but you should still eat. You’ll feel a little better if you do.”
PB and J it was. I’m a bad cook like I said. All I knew how to cook was soup and well… no. I ate at a regular pace, Scoots eating slowly. As she finished her sandwich however, she looked to be feeling a little better. “Do you want to go see Fluttershy?” I asked.
“So she can mother me?” I grinned sheepishly hearing that. “Not really.”
“Well I’m not going to just let you wallow. I mean, no party or anything, I know that won’t help. But how about we just get a little something at Pinkie’s place? Not much, just something cold that tastes good. Sound good?” Lots of treats wouldn’t help, I knew that. In fact I was becoming more confident in my decision to wait to go out as well. But on the other hoof, ice cream did help a few times when I was missing my mom… not sure why. “Something cold? How about a little shake?” Scootaloo nodded.
It was getting late, but I was pretty sure the Cake’s store was still open.
(***)
I flew with her on my back down to Sugar Cube Corner. As I entered the store I saw the pink pony who always knew how to make me feel better. She did not look happy though. She practically bolted from behind the counter and came over to me with tears in her eyes. ‘This is all I need,’ I thought.
She looked at Scootaloo. “I’m so sorry.” I pushed her back.
“That’s not gonna help. She doesn’t need your pity.”
“Pity?” Pinkie asked. “I called her a garbage disposal and gave her left overs!” She bit her lip. “I’m a horrible pony.”
“No, no, Pinkie,” she looked away from me. “C’mere.” I amended my last statement, I did kind of need this. I knew how to solve this problem. I wrapped a foreleg around her. “You didn’t mean to hurt Scoots and you didn’t, understand?” I gave her a squeeze. She still didn’t look at me. “Pinkie, you didn’t know. I’m not even gonna ask if you knew because I know you didn’t. If you did, you would have told the rest of us wouldn’t you?” Pinkie nodded, still not looking at me. “Cause you’re a good pony Pinkie. Really, it’s you and AJ who kept her fed, even if you weren’t aware. She was able to get through what was happening because of you two.”
“It can’t be good for a pony to eat cupcake and muffin mistakes for breakfast.”
“Better than nothing.”
“I guess.” She looked back at me and I smiled, her smiling back. Pinkie pulled away and looked at Scootaloo again.
“You did give me free breakfasts, thanks,” Scootaloo said.
Pinkie nodded and smiled. “What do you want. Name it. It’s on me. The biggest ice cream cake in the shop. It’ll be the bestest most-“
“We’ll take a rain check on that okay?” I asked. I gave her a few bits.
“You won’t let me give her-“
“I will let you, just later. Now we just want a few small chocolate shakes okay?” Pinkie nodded.
(***)
I was surprised that at no point did Scootaloo try to fight me that day. I had heard Fluttershy talk about something called the five stages of grief once. Denial… no that didn’t happen. Anger… not really. Bargaining… what does that even mean? Depression… well that was a given. Acceptance… bull s****. Scoots was acting like me. Different.
I remembered how it felt when my mom crashed. She crashed and in a second, I felt a sinking in my stomach. I knew something was wrong. When daddy finally said she was gone I yelled “no” at him, but it was just a reaction. I saw what he saw, her body was broken, she wasn’t moving. It was the first time I had really seen death, but I knew what it was. I cried so hard, fighting my dad as he pulled me away from her. I don’t know why I fought him, I just did. Everything was so robotic. I didn’t even scream “mom” I just screamed, cried and fought.
Actually, Scootaloo didn’t fight me and she wasn’t really crying. Was that okay? I wasn’t sure.
As Scootaloo drank her shake, just like when my dad got me a shake after the funeral, she seemed to start feeling better. No huge smiles or anything, she just seemed to relax. What I was doing seemed to be working.
(***)
I flew Scootaloo back up to my home again. I put her in a spare room in my home with a bed that was way too big for her, but I doubted that would matter. “Do you need me to sleep in here squirt? Just for company?” She shook her head. “Don’t push me away okay?”
“I’m not.”
“Okay. I’m in the room across the hall. Come get me if you need me alright?” she nodded. I walked out but stopped. “I’m gonna leave the door open alright?” Again she nodded.
I was pretty much copying what my dad had done the first day. I don’t know how he knew to do it, guess he was just wise. I had fought him, yelled and screamed at him, but he was just quiet and did what I guess he had to.
At least sleeping wasn’t so hard. I was sad to see Scoots like that, but I still felt just a tinge removed from the problem. I left my door open too, but I slept soundly.
(***)
The next day, I woke up to a loud banging on my front door. Groggily I got out of bed and flew out of my room and down the stairs. I opened the door, Twilight standing on the other side. “Rainbow… wow you look…”
“I’m sure you’re just a pretty doll when you get out of bed too,” I whined at her.
“Sorry.”
“Why were you knocking so hard?”
“Ever tried to wake YOU up by just knocking? By this point I just take to banging by default if I come here in the morning. Can I come in?” I nodded and stepped away from the door. “She’s not down here… how is she doing? The worst of it over?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea.” I looked right for a second, again trying to remember my own loss. “Give it a week.”
“You think she’ll be up for school tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. I’ll just have to ask when she gets up.” I looked back at Twilight. “So what’s up Twi? Just want an update?”
“Well yea, a little. I guess Fluttershy could have come up, but I kind of think of myself as the only one of the group who can check up on you when you’re sick or upset because you live up here- by the way you are keeping in mind that Scootaloo can’t fly right?”
“I’ve known her longer than you have Twi.” She nodded hearing that. I thought for a few seconds saying, “I’ve got a question though. On the issue of adoption, AJ and I believe it basically comes down to me or her to take over Scootaloo’s parenting in the end. Who do you think would be better in-“
Twilight gave a kind of laugh scream. “Um… adoption? Rainbow, that’s gonna be like another month out at least. Not only that, but it’s not like it has to be one of us element bearers. Heck there’s miss Cheerilee and remember both of Sweetie Belle’s parents are alive and well.”
“Well yea but-“
“Not to mention that I haven’t fully researched Scootaloo’s family yet. She could have a living relative out there fully capable of taking her.”
“I’m her sister.”
“Unofficially.”
“Right.”
“Anyway, I’m glad you didn’t tell her about this… you didn’t right?”
“Didn’t come up yesterday.”
“GOOD!” She almost shouted. “Don’t say the “a” word around her until we’ve cleared everything up. That’s gonna be a mine field all itself, emotionally, legally, physically, you name it.” Twilight shook her head slightly. “Glad I could clear that up, but that’s not why I came here.”
“I still want to know who you think is better.”
Twilight shrugged. “I’m gonna leave that to you two to hash out, or anypony else who wants her. There will have to be a final decision, just… just don’t make me make it for you guys alright? I can but I mean-“ I held up a hoof and nodded. “Alright, here’s why I really came. First off the guard ponies have finished going through Scootaloo’s stuff. They’ve determined they don’t need all of it so it would be good if you could go get what they don’t need and bring it back here for Scoots.”
“I’ll take her and-“
“Um no, don’t take her, go yourself. We have to remember, no matter what her feelings are, she’s still a growing child, and she needs to see a doctor pronto. Remember she hasn’t been to one in three years.” Twilight looked up at my clock. “She has an appointment in two hours.” Twilight looked around the room. “She upstairs?” I nodded. “Good. Now as to her parents. At this point I can’t tell her mom to or not to contact Scoots, but I have been able to make sure she can’t have unsupervised visitation at least. Now, oddly enough, Sweetie broke her right foreleg last week, remember? It healed, but she’ll be at the same hospital accompanied by Rarity for a follow up. While you’re getting Scootaloo’s stuff, Rarity will watch after both fillies. If Scootaloo’s mother does visit, I think our resident fashionista should be able to hold her own… I least I hope.”
“I could hold my own-“
“Yea that’s what I’m afraid of. You meet Violet Blaze and you’ll try to kill her.” I saw no sense in denying this simple truth.
“And Scootaloo’s father?- Funny how she never mentions him.”
“He lost custody of her three years ago. I’m not sure why yet, however I have agreed with him to allow him to visit her. He says he just lost her in a divorce when he had a bad attorney but I don’t know. You or Rarity stick around when and if he shows up too okay?”
“So Purple Cloud isn’t a bad guy here?”
“Maybe not. Like I said, I don’t know.” Twilight sighed. “Finally… I am bucking this up so bad and I know it. I don’t know where but somewhere, please mitigate my mistakes if it’s possible. I think somewhere I went too far, or maybe not far enough or-“
“We’re all new at this Twi. Neither of us is being perfect.”
“Will you be there to clean up my screw ups?”
“Only if you’re to clean up mine…. Bring AJ.”
“Oh don’t worry, she’s gonna be on speed dial.” I looked at her confused. “A term I learned at Canterlot high… deal.”
Scootaloo didn’t move very fast when she woke up, probably having a lot on her mind. For a time Twilight watched the filly like she was sympathetically studying every move. Eventually Scootaloo gave her quick glare. Twi was about to respond when I put up a hoof and made her turn away.
“She’s not a movie, stop watching,” I said plainly.
“I just want to help so bad and-“
But I cut her off. “You are.” I walked to my door, opening it. “Like you said, I’ve gotta go okay?”
“But, what do I do? I mean-“
Wow. Was I really giving advice here? I shook my head, this was weird. “Well no more staring, it makes anypony feel awkward, you of all ponies should know that one,” Twilight chuckled, nodding. “Anyway, just be there. She won’t necessarily need a conversation, just someone to be around.”
“But how do I fix this?”
“Fix what? Her heart?... You can’t. The heart never really gets fixed,” I said, closing my eyes, mom’s face flashing in them. “However, it does go on and it does learn to be happy again. Trust me on that.”
“How do you know that?”
I bit my lip. “Not really wanting to share on that… think you’ll be okay?”
“I guess.”
Off I flew. For a moment I almost looked back, but I kicked myself. I couldn’t let Twilight think I had my doubts that she could handle this.
(***)
As I flew, my thoughts wandered a little. There was a reason I wanted AJ to take Scootaloo. More than any of us, AJ understood how to make a pony feel important. Beyond the parties from Pinkie, kind words from Flutters, general intelligence from Twilight, the nice dresses from Rarity and my own brand of encouragement, Applejack had a way of just making other ponies feel wanted and even needed.
I kept thinking of this as I came to the small guard station where Scootaloo’s things were. Again in my mind I started to think about Scootaloo being adopted by Applejack. It just seemed right.
Scootaloo’s things consisted of a few magazines, some tools and a few Wonder Bolt action figures. Actually the figurines brought back memories for me. There was even an old Far Shot figure. He was the star when I grew up, leaving when he got a bad hip. Some called him a “broken pony” but it was nice to see another pony knew better. Far Shot was a legend.
(***)
Back at home I put Scootaloo’s stuff in the spare room, trying to think of how to make the room feel like home. Scoots had several posters in her magazines about flying that I took the liberty of tacking to the walls, making sure the articles on their backs didn’t seem all that important. In the left hoof corner I placed her scooter, next to her tool box, next to that, a stack of her scooter magazines, a few of which I perused myself. I had never been into scooters myself, but I was able to glean that these weren’t sales magazines, they were about maintenance and how to trick out a scooter you already had. I thought about putting up a big scooter poster I found on the wall, but I wasn’t sure how the squirt would take that. After all, what did her scooter represent to her? Was it a substitute for flight, or would she still want it even if she could fly? Would it then be insulting or inspiring?
I stopped myself. Was I, Rainbow Dash, really thinking this deeply about things? I looked at Scoots’ toys. That was better, something completely immature! I took the figures out, so tempted to play with them like when I was a filly. I set them up on the dresser. Scootaloo had figures from her generation and when I was kid, probably because my legendary fliers had only been retired three years ago. The current Wonder Bolts of course all went together. Misty Fly, Soarin, Blaze, Fire Streak, Hind Wings, Lightning Streak, Silver Linning, Fleetfoot… I searched the box again… was Scoots missing Fleet Foot? Well I would have to fix that soon enough. I had stopped collecting Wonder Bolt toys a long time ago, but still, you couldn’t just have all but one could you?
Out in front of the pack placed Spitfire, posed shooting proudly forward. She wasn’t part of the same set as the others, she was bigger, but that just seemed right. She was the leader after all. I looked at the arrangement. Suddenly I noticed Fire Streak wasn’t next to Blaze and quickly corrected my mistake. Those two were so getting married someday, if only in my mind, but they were perfect for each other.
Behind them I placed the wonderbolts I grew up with. Far Shot headed that pack, strange that he wasn’t also bigger than the other figures. Then there was Cloud Blazer, Lancer, Cloud Kicker, Star Wind, Fire Bolt, Tabitha (weird name that one) and Red Sky- oops Red Sky and Fire Bolt were supposed to be together of course. At the bottom of the box was something… weird looking. It was a blue mare figurine but it had been… mutilated. I found Fleetfoot. Her mane had been ripped out and she had glue all over her. Did somepony break her? An accident… more abuse? No one broke a little filly’s toys or-wait. In the place of Fleetfoot’s blue mane was a set of yarn pieces, green, blue and purple and in back, red orange and yellow on top. In the back was a rainbow of yarn pieces… this was me. I smiled, the grin nearly splitting my face. Scoots had actually destroyed one of her precious toys to try to make her own Rainbow Dash action figure. Naturally no one really sold toys of me, in a set like this anyway. I had a few stuffed animals out there somewhere, but this… this was so much more meaningful. I put the figure up with the rest of the modern bolts.
That did it. Even if she wasn’t feeling on top of the world, even if Twilight was going to be upset with me, I had to see Scootaloo. I left for the doctor’s office.
(***)
At the office, the staff knew me all too well, from my complaining when I broke a wing, and then my attempt to break in in order to read a book in private… ah memories. That was all of a year ago though, I was so much more mature these days. Anyway I could walk around without too many ponies really caring, they knew who I was.
I was informed by the doctors that Scootaloo was mostly alright, but she was going to have to stay for a while so they could run a few extra tests, they had a lot to catch up on apparently. I was going to go into her room to talk to her, when something caught my eye. “Thing” was too dignified a name in my mind.
It was a purple mare with a pink mane. She was a pegasus wearing a business suite in the middle of a clinic, having saddle bags on with a protruding brief case. Violet Blaze.
She walked down the hall I was about to head down. I followed at a distance, stopping as she opened the door. She went in, myself just keeping from grabbing her and throwing her up against a wall. I fought the urge to go in after her, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back. Still, a part of me just had to know how this went. I went over to the door and just listened.
“Twilight Sparkle I presume?” came a voice I didn’t know. It must have been Violet.
“Yes… oh… you.” There was a pause. “You want to talk to ME?” Twilight demanded.
“Well, yes, you summoned me. What’s this about?” Another pause. “Yes, that’s my daughter.”
“Didn’t my subpoena include a list of the charges against you?” Twilight asked. “I think you owe someone an apology, or maybe an explanation if you’ve got it.”
“I’m not just going to roll over and let you ponies accuse me of something. I’m here to see you, not my daughter, she’s being a good girl, right?”
“You don’t get to talk to me until you talk to her.”
“Excuse me?”
“Excuse you? I’m a freaking princess! For the love of Celestia- BOW!” I stumbled back. Twilight never before had even asked for a bow, let alone demanded it. I got back to the door, somewhat smiling on the inside. Twilight was doing alright. “Now I told you to do something, since when does my word constitute a suggestion?”
There was then a long silence. Suddenly there was Scootaloo’s voice, quiet and nervous. “Um… mom… why… why are we so different from other ponies?”
“What do you mean dear?” Violet responded, with a tone that seemed comforting. To me it was grating of course.
“I get home and you’re never there. I visit Button Masher and his mom is always there. His dad is often there too. Sweetie eats with her folks every night and sometimes I think Apple Bloom is somehow magnetized to AJ but you… I never see you.”
“You see me. Right now in fact.”
“I see Button’s mom more than you and I only play games at his house every now and then.”
“Darling, I’m not a hoofs on mother. Sorry if that’s what you want but I just can’t provide it. I give you money.”
“They shut off the power again… and the water.”
“Oh… well I’ll have another talk with Black Main. If you ask me Twilight, you should talk to him-“
“I wasn’t finished!” Scootaloo suddenly said. “Did you know I broke my scooter last month? Of course not, you just dropped off a bunch of bits and peaced out. I’ve had to buy magazines just to keep that thing repaired and ya know what? With that little bit you give me, I’ve had to skip meals just to fix my scooter.”
“Skip meals? Honestly you foolish child, your scooter isn’t that important. You need your food, that’s what’s important. That scooter is just a toy.”
“No it’s not. I can’t fly… but dad got it for me. He taught me how to use it and… you ****ing took dad away!” I couldn’t move. Was that true. Where was Purple Cloud? Probably alive but…
Things started clicking in my head. No doctor visits for three years, he left three years ago and let’s not forget there’s just no way a young pony could have survived baby and toddlerhood the way Scoots was being “raised”. Something had to have changed, something, or more likely, someone.
“I’m sorry?”
“You took him ****ing away like you, you ****ing, ****ing… damn it.”
Another voice, came through, Rarity. “Um… I’m sorry, but you’re far too young, please stop using that word.”
“What did you tell him?” Scootaloo continued. “I heard you two arguing before he left. What did you say?”
“Does it matter? He didn’t want you. He didn’t love you or he would have stuck around. Love means time,” Violet said. Like she would know.
“How much time?” Scootaloo asked.
“I have given you enough time, all the time you could want with me. I took care of you when you were sick, I gave you money for-“
“I’m sorry darlings,” Rarity interrupted. “I can’t listen to any more of this. In fact, what have I and my little sister been listening to exactly?”
“Oh not with the hugging again!” Scootaloo complained.
“Go ahead, Sweetie Belle, she needs it.”
“This is between me and my daughter,” said Violet.
“Oh I wasn’t finished young mare.”
“I am older than you.”
Rarity continued. “I was referring to your age in worthwhile experience darling, which clearly you don’t have much. Now did I hear this right? You expect an eight year old foal to know how to prioritize funds… and how much exactly do you make that you can’t afford to give her enough to maintain a wooden scooter?”
“I make enough.”
“Enough? I look at you and I see a business suite, a brief case, a mare who owns property she doesn’t live in and regularly commutes from Baltimare to Ponyville. Now I’m rich and I know it and I don’t have two homes, but I imagine that somepony who does can buy food for a child and afford to fix a wooden manual scooter. If you can’t, just live with your daughter… pardon me for using a word from Rainbow Dash, but “duh”.” I wasn’t offended, she used it right. “In fact that’s the big question isn’t it? Why don’t you live with her?”
“Do you know what it’s like to live with a child alone? It’s maddening! Constantly questioning everything, yelling, screaming, complaining, they don’t know any limits, they think they have to come to you with everything when they can solve most of their problems on their own.”
“They can survive without you to a degree but they have to have somepony to look up to and to take responsibility for things they don’t understand, to teach them that understanding, that’s the point of being a parent or older sibling or, or… or whatever you are to a child. And for the record, I live with Sweetie in my home quite often. Everything you just said is accurate. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“I thought you wanted me to talk to my daughter Twilight, aren’t you going to stop this?”
“Nope, I’m having fun watching you get chewed out, keep it up Rarity.” Twilight chimed in.
“Oh I intend to!” Rarity yelled.
“No, you’re not leaving, I order you to stay here,” Twilight said, happier to say it than I thought right, course I did detect a hint of proper frustration.
Rarity did continue. “Where the hell do you get off telling another pony what is or isn’t important? I don’t care what happened with her father, if that scooter is a connection to him for her then that’s profound and as much as she cares about it, so should you.”
“It’s just a scooter,” Violet replied.
“It’s just a boutique.” Rarity snapped.
“What?”
“To my mother, that’s all my business really would be if I didn’t own it. She’s a baker. And father is a former quarter back. Neither one of them knows the first thing about fashion or running a business or any of it. However they were there when I opened by doors for the first time, they’ve sat and listened to me rambling about what I’m sure to them is fashion nonsense over and over. Course that’s nothing like what they were like when I was little. Then it was even better. Everything I said mattered to them and to this day I don’t understand how. The stupid things I was into.”
“What is the point of this?”
“The point is-“ Rarity started.
“For the last time Sweetie get off… Do you love me?” Scootaloo shouted. Silence.
“You have to ask?” Silence again. “I bore you in my womb for nine months, there were midnight feedings and the three jobs I lost while your father kept telling me I shouldn’t move you away from Ponyville to Baltimare. There was the constant crying, forcing a smile on my face when you cried to me about yet another broken toy or another tummy ache or complaining because your food was too hot, too cold or just didn’t taste good… honestly for putting up with all that you owe me so much you-“
“That’s not what I asked!” Scootaloo shouted.
“Do I love you? You’re an obligation. I had unprotected sex one night and nine months later there you were. I was responsible for you. Do you love your school? Do you love shopping? They’re things you do because you have to, because you have a responsibility. Imagine if I had walked away from you or put you up for adoption or whatever everypony thinks I should have done, how would that look? You’re a child, you can’t understand the complexities of-“ but she stopped after I threw open the door, the knob slamming into the wall and punching a hole through it.
I snorted. “She doesn’t owe you ***t.” Violet blinked.
No one moved. That was probably wrong of everypony else, because the pony that spoke up next was the one who should have just shut up. “I beg your pardon?”
“You won’t get it,” I said snidely.
“Well if you’re all done I-“ I lunged forward and slammed my right hoof into her face. She flew backwards. She got back up, cradling her jaw with one hoof, it starting to hang unnaturally.
“I have a black belt.” Violet stated, taking a stance.
“Rainbow hold on-“ Twilight began, but I wasn’t listening.
I snatched a glass fixture off the wall and smashed it between my hooves, throwing the glass at Violet. Violet glanced away to protect her eyes. Then another hoof flew into that formerly confident face as she looked back. I then found myself floating in the air.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight yelled.
Violet spat out two teeth. “Oh yea!” I yelled. “I’m not stupid enough to say what I know before I kick somepony’s ***!”
“STOP!” Scootaloo yelled. “Mom… please, take it back. Say you love me. Please. I’ll forgive it all, I don’t care. I just want you to-“
“Do I really have to stay here and take this?” Violet asked Twilight. “Forcing me to allow assault is beyond what you can force PRINCESS Twilight.”
“You can go.” Twilight said.
“But!” I said, knowing it wouldn’t matter what I said. I really just said it to be heard.
But someone else wanted more than that as Violet walked out. “Mom… mom? No, wait… MOM!” I Looked at Twilight with pleading eyes. She released her hold on me and as Scootaloo jumped out of her bed, I snatched her out of the air. I hugged her tight as she basically just ignored me, reaching out for a mother who didn’t care. “MOM!” she screamed again and again. “NO! MOM!” Violet just kept walking. “Mommy please. Mommy…” The pleading turned to sobs. Then a whisper. “Dad?”
I froze. I turned my head. There he stood. Dusk blue with a dark purple mane. He was frozen in place as well. He looked scared and- he ran away.
“DAD!” Scoots shouted, now fighting me to go after her father. I felt her lifted out of my forelegs. She was surrounded in Rarity’s magic.
“Go,” Rarity basically ordered. “Get to the bottom of this.” I glanced at Twilight, knowing she was probably upset with me. Twilight nodded. I shot out of the room.
(***)
I expected to be chasing Purple cloud into the mid morning sky but instead I found him just a few meters from the clinic. “What are you doing? Running away?”
“She shouldn’t have seen me.”
“What are you a secret agent or something?” I asked with a slight chuckle.
“No.” he had a nice deep voice. I had to be right. Scootaloo clung to that scooter and used it every day and apparently everything changed when he left it sounded like. This stallion had to be the one to make everything better, he just had to be. “If I wanted to flee, trust me, keeping up wouldn’t be easy.”
“I’m a Wonder Bolt, trust me, it would be a synch.”
“Even better.” He looked back to the clinic. “You didn’t even notice me in the hall until she said something did you?”
“Well I-“
“It’s all right, what was happening inside the room was too important to you to notice what was happening outside. You’re military trained and yet everything around you pretty much faded away. She was all you cared about in that moment, am I wrong?”
I paused. Was he right? What was happening to me? “Well… maybe…”
“I know I’m right. You’re what she needs. She’s better off just forgetting about me. I should have had the guts to tell her I didn’t want her either but I just didn’t.”
“Oh don’t give me the drama. Go back in there. I’m happy to be her sister, just go be her dad.” He looked longingly at the clinic as I walked beside him. “You’re not the first pony to choke ya know. Violet Blaze is gone, you’ll see. Whatever she did to drive you away, now you can be with your daughter again and-“
“She didn’t drive me away. Scootaloo thinks it was some argument I had with that mare that drove me off but it wasn’t that. It was me.”
“Huh? If you don’t want her, why are you here?”
“Of course I want her, she’s my daughter. The late night feedings, the diaper changings, the complaining, the yelling the screaming… how can somepony put up with all that and the bad times-“
“What are the bad times in that context?”
“Well welcome to one of them but they’re usually not this bad trust me.”
“Hope not.”
He chuckled a little. “How can somepony be there for all that and the good times, the hugs, her constantly saying “you’re the best dad!” for nothing, her following you around, trying to mirror everything she does after you, her personality starting to reflect you…” suddenly something tugged at my brain. Something sounded familiar about that. “Why are you looking at me like that?- Anyway how can you experience all that and not love someone at your very core? How can you be a parent and not love your child?”
“Well, ask that thing that just walked away from your daughter crying for her to stick around.”
“Yea well, that mare was a mistake I won’t be repeating, trust me. I came here to save my daughter from that. I heard what was happening and I thought I could come in and be the good father, the brave stallion saving his daughter from the she demon that became her mother. But looking at you, holding her like that…” he shook his head.
“Hey yea, I love her but what does that mean? We got this kinda pseudo sisterhood thing going, it’s weird but I’ll explain later. We can both love her, don’t see a problem there.”
“She’s my daughter. She loved me without condition and acted like I was the most important pony in the world. I’ll love her till I die.” He looked away from the hospital. “But… listen to my story and THEN say what you think.” I sat down. This seemed unnecessarily melodramatic, but if I had to set this stallion straight to fix things I was willing. “Three years and six months was my first taste of hard liquor. I had always turned my nose up at it, but that one day, the co-workers at my job pushed me and pushed me to finally try it. I gave in. It made me feel so happy at first, so I drank more and more. Finally I stumbled home. Scootaloo then said something to me, I can’t even remember what it was, but it set me off. I hit her,” I stepped back.
He continued. “I hit her several times until she started bleeding. My inhibitions only stopped me when I looked at my daughter, broken lip, black eye and stumbling… I stopped and hugged her swearing I would never do it again. She forgave me immediately. I swore off drinking that day, making up a story for her teacher to keep from losing my daughter. Then you would think it would be easy right? Just never drink again, I had never done it before, so why do it again? But three weeks later at work my peers pushed me again. I should have snapped at them, lashed out, freaked them out somehow, anything would have been better than taking that evil drink again. I went home again and beat her again. Again I hugged her, again she forgave me and I said it would never happen again. Five weeks until it happened again-“ I smacked him. “So now you know. I’m not a good enough stallion to be a father. I’m weak. Rather than drag my daughter through the whole blasted ordeal of what comes with living in an abusive home, I turned myself in. That was what I argued with Violet Blaze about. I was leaving. I told her why but she demanded that I couldn’t leave her to raise our daughter on her own. Little did I know just how true that was, though I suppose that’s off subject.”
“You turned yourself in?” I asked.
“The guard ponies were pretty shocked too when I arrived to self-report in their office. How many times do you hear a story about a stallion doing the right thing in a case like that? In any case, I lost all custody of Scootaloo of course, I wouldn’t settle for less at the time. I had to teach her somehow that what I did was not acceptable. The sentence was actually rather lenient because I was so cooperative. For turning myself in and volunteering for a recovering alcoholics group, I only had to stay in prison for a total of about six months. There was a restraining order placed on me, but it expired a long time ago.”
“So why did you stay away?”
“I don’t deserve to go back. Don’t you understand? I beat her! I don’t even know why so it must not have been a good reason, course like there ever could be a good reason to beat a five year old anyway. When I heard the conditions she was living under from the guard pony that found me, I was determined to come and save her, to accept that she would never have an ideal family, but at least she would have me, if nothing else. But then I saw you. Rainbow Dash right?” I nodded. “I have kept up with my daughter on occasion. I talked to Miss Cheerilee, I even visited Sweet Apple Acres once or twice to see where I heard she spent the majority of her time. You’re name just kept coming up everywhere I went. Everyone said how she was trying to be like you in every way and how much she idolized you… much like she once did with me.”
“I can’t replace you Purple Cloud.”
“No matter how you look at it, you have to. I beat her, that’s something you can’t come back from. Not every wrong can be forgiven Rainbow. Not everyone can have a second chance.”
“But… but you’re not like that now!” I shouted. “How many drinks have you had lately?”
“None for three years, but what does that matter? What do I tell her when she becomes a teenager and dates that inevitable jock with control issues? Do I tell her to come back to him if he says sorry enough times? Go back if he doesn’t do it again when he never goes near her anyway?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t let her just go to foster care, but that’s not really on the table anyway is it?” I shook my head. “If it comes to that you’ll adopt her first.”
“Twilight says-“
“If she has relatives she goes to them right?” I nodded. “Let me remove all suspense then. The closest relative of hers is serving time for robbing a bank. They might as well start calling you a mother cause it’s just a matter of time.” He turned away from the hospital. “Welcome to parenthood. It’s everything they say it is, both good and bad.” I wanted to say something, but the words caught in my throat. He started walking away, but then stopped. “Just to be clear, I still love her. You hurt her, you will answer to me.”
He left her… he beat her… but he came to her rescue, he turned himself in, he was truly sorry and he must have been a good father to deal with that mare and… he was getting ready to fly away and out of Scootaloo’s life forever. If I said nothing it was over, if I said something… I had to act… but how?
Watching him get ready to go, only a few milliseconds went by I’m sure, but I just couldn’t take it. “Stop!” I shouted. He stopped and looked back at me. “You self-reported, went to jail, got a restraining order against yourself and even went through rehab and- all for what? I mean, why bother if you just planned on leaving her life when it was all over?”
Purple Cloud shrugged. “Right thing to do right?”
“Um… I guess? I mean if you were just gonna walk out of her life what’s the use in rehab? You wouldn’t have a child to abuse anymore anyway.” I stomped my front hooves. “Admit it, you want to be back in her life.”
“Um duh. I mean I don’t deserve it, but of course I want it. Pretty sure I was clear on that point at least.”
“So why not try again?”
“I told you, some sins can’t be forgiven.”
I shook my head. “Well not entirely forgiven maybe but… I know she wants you back. You should see her with that scooter you gave her, it’s practically attached to her. The girl was apparently sacrificing her food to keep it repaired. You mean the world to her.” I looked down. “Look, you can just fly away if you want, I can’t force you to be with your daughter again. I won’t stand out here forever with you either, Scootaloo needs me. But just for the record, I think if you try, you could work this out.” I put up my hooves. “On the one hoof, if you come back with me now, I know you’ll make that little filly extremely happy, and I SOOO want that. I will fight to get you and her back into some kind of a relationship again, I promise.” The stallion gave me a half smile. “On the other hoof, while under these circumstances I will forgive what you did, if you think you’re going to hurt her again,” I put both hooves back on the ground. “Then fly. Fly away fast and don’t let me catch you. I don’t want to have to explain to the squirt why I killed her father.”
“And how do we explain what I did to her? What’s she supposed to do with it?”
I paused. I had no idea. What he did was wrong- beyond wrong. Ordinarily I would have beat the crap out of him, but now I just wanted some good news for Scootaloo. “I don’t know. Maybe just that, ya know… some stories have happy endings, even if there’s no right ending.”
Purple Cloud closed his eyes. “I’m gonna hate myself for this… I’ll give it a shot.”
(***)
I decided to screw slowly walking back in. I ran back, leaving Purple Cloud to follow at whatever pace he wanted. A little filly needed me and the running helped me forget all the lingering questions I had about what I was doing with her father, chief among them: exactly WHAT was I doing with him anyway?
However a dark blue blur shot past me. As I got back to Scootaloo’s room, I got there just in time to see Purple Cloud re-enter the room. Scootaloo was staring down at her bed, but the second she caught a glimpse of her father she shrieked. “DAD!” She jumped from the bed to his neck in a single bound and wrapped her forelegs around him, hugging him tight. “Daddy,” she said with slight sobs. Purple Cloud sat down. She pulled away a few inches and shouted at him. “Never, never, never, never, NEVER! NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!” she hugged him again. “Please.”
I smiled and then nervously scanned the room. I noticed Apple Bloom standing in the room now, but didn’t think much of her being there. Finally my eyes rested on Twilight. “Um Twi… we need to talk,” I finally said. A huge smile was on Twilight’s face, a small tear even coming out of one of her eyes. She shrugged, apparently not even noticing my nervousness. “Let’s go outside okay?”
“Well dears this has been… interesting,” said Rarity. “I must admit I never counted on seeing all this transpire in just a few hours, even so I suppose I’m glad it did. We now know where we all stand as to Violet and Scootaloo has her father back.” She flourished her hair. “Even so, I have orders to tend to and I simply cannot make them wait a second later-“
“Twilight and I have to discuss something in private,” I interrupted. “And… I refuse to leave Purple Cloud alone with his daughter. Either you stay, or he leaves.” Hearing this, Scootaloo hugged her father even tighter.
Rarity’s eyes went wide. “Well... I really am behind. I’ve been watching this filly for several hours already,” she winced at the glare her own sister gave her. “Fine, don’t look at me like that. I’ll stick around.” I nodded, Twilight and I starting to leave the room to go outside. I paused as Rarity called me. “Oh Rainbow, don’t think this is all coming for free. I’m generous, but this is costing me. Somepony will need to help me in the shop once this is done… perhaps a few more dress modelings, you really are one of the best models there is.”
I shivered. I hated modeling, but somehow Rarity always talked me into it. I nodded. “This will be quick.” I also reassured.
Outside Twilight started. “Rarity and Fluttershy were both in there consoling Scootaloo for a while. Don’t think less of her for asking-“
“I don’t think less of her. I think she’s awesome for helping so much at all. Anyway that’s not what I came out here to talk about.”
“Ya know, this whole interrupting thing, you’ve been talking about adopting Scootaloo so much, but you really need to work on being an example of respect-“
“Not what I wanted to talk about either.” Twilight sighed, obviously seeing I was right not to be wasting time. She also rolled her eyes, but I’m not sure what that was targeted at. “Purple Cloud- you’re not gonna like this- Violet Blaze didn’t drive Purple Cloud away. He left willingly.”
“Hm?”
“It was for a good reason. He… he didn’t want to beat his daughter anymore,” I continued. Twilight’s head jolted back and her eyes grew wide. “Yea, kinda my reaction, followed by a swift hoof to the face. But listen to me okay?”
Twilight’s face looked like she was listening, but trying pretty hard to hold back. “Rainbow… I’m not gonna pretend this is any harder for me than you. I mean you had to spend a night with her. Thus, I will listen. But just understand, I have had it up to here,” she held up her hoof to her head, “With how much crap that poor filly is having to endure. If you’re about to make things worse-“
“I’m not. I think I’m making things better really.”
“I’m never gonna be able to finish a thought with you tonight am I?”
“That one. You finished that one.” I said pointing at her. She almost chuckled. Good to see a smile tonight. “Anyway, listen, Purple Cloud got drunk a few times… four or five times, and beat his daughter a little… till she was bleeding and stumbling...” Oh I was not getting a positive look at this point, not at all. I seriously thought about how Twilight couldn’t catch me, but course there was that whole teleporting thing. “But he turned himself in, went to jail and got rehab. He’s been sober for three years. So… ya know. Maybe we could give this a chance. Scootaloo obviously wants it.”
“She wants her family back together.” Twilight said, looking back at the clinic over her shoulder. “We both know that is NOT going to happen.” I started to speak but- “How would you like to spend the day with your mouth as an orange?! Stop interrupting.” I stopped. “Do you know how much I’ve been chewed out for not noticing something like this in my own town?” I shook my head. “NOT AT ALL! Nothing! Everypony just says how bad Scootaloo’s parents are and pretends I’m some sort of saint for noticing what was happening with her and doing something about it. I knew her for two years and in all that time, I did nothing to even ask how her life was going. I knew her for that long, but I knew jack about her life.”
“Twi it’s not your fault.”
“Not entirely mine, I’m not the only one this goes for am I?” she said, looking back at me. I gulped. Not like I hadn’t thought about this before. “We’ve been over this, I know. It’s just… thing is… we screwed up Rainbow. For two years we screwed up. We do it again and she’s gonna suffer again. It’s like I’m walking a tight rope and if I fall I traumatize a dear young friend. I took away her house, I’m putting her mom behind bars and now I’m thinking about ripping away her dad, and I’m the good guy, does that sound good to you?”
“So… what? What on this?”
“There will have to be another hearing on this matter. A judge will probably award Purple Cloud supervised visitation on a trial basis and go from there, but I can’t make any guarantees. If what you say is true and he did already take the punishment for what he did, he won’t be punished again. However he may still be forbidden to be part of her life until she’s a mare. I really wish you hadn’t just brought him back in Rainbow. We’re going to break her heart putting him on trial. Had we just kept it from her until we were certain what would happen it could have been so much better.”
“I didn’t know that-“
“You and Applejack want to talk adoption and you can’t even think a few simple steps ahead? You want to adopt a traumatized foal and you’re still making decisions on the fly?”
“Well somepony will have to, she has no family,” I pointed out. “Purple Cloud hit me with that too.”
“Rainbow… at this point, I’m still prepared to support you as a friend. If you try to adopt that filly I won’t stand in the way, in fact I’ll help. However, please, please, think about this hard before you do. Scootaloo is going to need time, attention and support, more than your average child I guarantee it. Your dreams of being a Wonder Bolt, if you take her as a child, they might just go away.” I stood still. “She’s going to need you for the next ten years in a way like you’ve never been needed before. By the time that’s over, you’ll be thirty and the wonderbolts don’t recruit ponies that old.” I bit my lip. “It doesn’t end there. I won’t tolerate you living in a cloud house with a filly who can’t fly. All it’s gonna take is one miss placed hoof when she’s playing outside and she’ll fall to her death. You’re going to have to change the very way you think as she will have to come first in everything.”
“I’d run risks like that with any foal wouldn’t I?” I asked, trying to hide how much losing my place with the bolts really was making me think.
“Rainbow, I’ve been told time and again that having children can be one of the most fulfilling things a pony can do. I wouldn’t dream of robbing you of a chance at it. But ya know what? If that’s what you want, date, get married, have unprotected sex and have a kid or adopt. Don’t make yourself the single parent of a traumatized foal.”
“But she needs someone.”
“Rainbow, you’re the element of loyalty, you’re one of the kindest ponies I know, in your heart anyway, and I know that filly means a lot to you. I know when you’re determined to do something, you do it, no matter what stands in your way. I also know you’ll have trouble if you take this on and you don’t have too. I’m aware you have no moral or legal obligations to Scootaloo and I think that you helping her at all is a blessing. So… I won’t tell you what to do. I’m just asking you to think hard about what you want.”
“And what she wants? I can’t leave her with nothing.”
“Some pony will adopt her. If it has be me it will happen, I promise. The question isn’t, will she be taken care of. The question is, do you really want to be the pony to do that?”
“Applejack could-“
“Let her worry about herself. What do you want?”
“Well I-“
“One thing I won’t do, is let you answer now. Take your time.” She turned and walked back to the clinic.
(***)
Back in the clinic I found Scootaloo just talking with her father. He had a red mark on his leg.
“So I see you told Rarity what you did?” I asked.
I looked over at Rarity, who was gritting her teeth. “I’m going to need therapy after this, let alone poor Scoot-“ but she stopped, looking at Scootaloo. She then quietly said, “Probably not a good thing to fully state with her in the room.” She cleared her throat. “If that’s all, I would like to take my leave.” I nodded, as did Twilight. “Very well… good luck. Oh and the welt, that wasn’t me. I’m not a violent pony. However Apple Bloom is apparently another story.”
I looked back over at AB, who was glaring at Purple Cloud, Sweetie holding up a hoof to block her path. Apple Bloom was fuming mad. In that moment, I remembered all those times I wanted to be a filly again. I chuckled at the naivety of such a thought. I could actually help, all Apple Bloom could really do was watch, or at least that’s how she had to feel.
I felt compelled to say something. “Um… Sweetie, AB… um. Thanks for being her friends.” Scootaloo looked over and smiled at them. “It means more than you know.” Apple Bloom looked up at me nervously for a few seconds, then immediately went back to glaring at Purple Cloud.
(***)
I took Scootaloo back home. The filly seemed to have mixed emotions about what happened, but on the whole she seemed to be doing better after seeing her father. Twilight thankfully did not have to explain why her father couldn’t stay the night. Scoots pretty much just accepted that.
Scootaloo hopped off my back when we were back home. “Scoots,” I said. I paused. Twilight told me not to talk about adoption with her but… but I just couldn’t think about what I wanted to do without her input. “I need to talk to you about something.” She smiled at me. She actually smiled. “Let’s go up to your room first okay?” She nodded and headed up the stairs. She didn’t move very fast, probably just digesting the day herself. As she moved along, I thought.
I was guessing Twilight thought I was seriously considering adopting Scootaloo, when really I had only brought up the subject once with her. I had been thinking AJ was the best choice there. But after that talk, I was actually considering adopting Scoots myself more seriously. I guess she’d had the opposite effect from what she wanted in that case.
Scootaloo walked into her room and gasped. “You… you really… you really didn’t have to do this!” she exclaimed. I walked past the stunned filly, not sure what that reaction meant. “All my stuff, it’s all here. My magazines, my toys, my posters.”
“Well some stuff is still being held in evidence, but this is most of it.”
“My clothes are in the dresser?”
“What ones you have.”
With big eyes she looked up at me. “Thankyou.”
“It’s just a room kid.”
“I wasn’t sure if I was getting any of this stuff back.”
“Twilight said you were.”
“Life has been kind of messed up recently okay? I’m having a hard time trusting. She took my house away.”
“You understand why right?” I asked.
“I guess.” She nodded. “I know Twilight is just trying to help but- I can’t help wishing none of this happened and we could just go back to the way things were.”
“You could have died like that kiddo.”
“Really? You sure?”
“Yes.”
She nodded again. “At least I have my daddy back.”
Another thing I wasn’t sure how to address with her. I needed to be keeping a list. I walked over to the bed and patted it. “Can you just hop up? I want to talk face to face for a bit.” Scootaloo hopped up on the bed and looked me in the eyes. “Your dad told me he hurt you. Is that right?”
“Well… it was years ago, but yea, he hit me. He hit me a couple times. It hurt, it was scary, but… does that mean I can’t have him back either?”
Something about the way she said that bothered me. “He told me he’s changed. There will be a trial.” I wanted to follow that up with something, but nothing came to mind.
“Why didn’t you tell me in the hospital?”
“I don’t know why Twilight didn’t, but frankly I didn’t want you to make a scene.” She glared at me and my ears involuntarily drew back. “Honestly, it wouldn’t have helped any of us, you least of all, can you understand why not?”
Scootaloo looked down. “I guess.”
“So, here’s why we’re really in here. And I guess it’s good that you aren’t seeing me the way you normally do when I ask this, because maybe your answer will be more thought out that way.” I paused for her to get ready. She looked back into my eyes. “Again, to be honest, I will kill your mother before I let her have you again.”
Scootaloo grimaced. “Understood.”
“And there’s no way your dad is gonna get custody of you either. At best he’s looking at what Twilight called “supervised visitation”. And he hit me with a doosy, telling me personally you don’t have much family outside of him.”
“I don’t. My grandparents died a while back and I only have one uncle who… I think he’s serving time… wow. My parents, my uncle… what am I gonna be like?”
Okay, another thing I would eventually have to talk about. I thought about taking a pen and paper and asking her to help me make that aforementioned list. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. I mean with the right ponies in your life, ones you can depend on. Which you’ve got ya know?”
“Yea. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are pretty good friends.”
Ouch! I didn’t even warrant an honorary mention there. Still, “you’ve also got me. Me, Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Mrs. Cheerilee and… and-“
“Yea that’s kind of it.”
“Well it’s a lot.” I continued. She nodded. “Not what I was getting at. How would you like a new mother?”
“Well after what happened at the clinic, I certainly don’t want the old one back!”
“Okay, understood. I mean me. How would you like me to be your new mom?” She just stared at me. Seconds passed by and I was losing it. “Well… yes… no… something?”
Scootaloo looked around the room. She shuffled over to her toys on the dresser. “Um…” she started rearranging her toys. She put Spitfire with Longshot. “Just you watch, they’re gonna get married someday.” She then took her self-made figurine of me and moved it. I half expected her to crush it, but instead she put it at the head of both packs. “It’s where she belongs.” She looked back at me. “I can’t fly. I’m lucky you made me your sister. Do you really want a daughter who can’t fly?”
“I asked you first.”
Scootaloo put her forelegs on the dresser and rested her head on them, looking at her Rainbow Dash figurine. “She’ll have a daughter someday. But she needs one who will fly alongside her. I’ve always wanted to meet that daughter someday, maybe even foalsit her ya know? But to actually BE Rainbow Dash’s daughter? It… it would be a dream come true. A dream I can’t have. I can’t fly, I can’t be your daughter.”
That did it. “Yes you can.” I whispered.
“What was that Rainbow Dash?”
“Stop calling me that,” I replied.
“Calling you what?”
“Rainbow Dash.”
“It’s your name.”
“Not for you it’s not.”
“What?”
“My name for you…” I choked it out. “Is mom.” We both stood there stunned by what I said. “Um… give me a reaction kid. You kinda worry me when you go silent-” WHAM! She slammed into me, wrapping me in a hug.
The best and worst hug ever. I loved the feeling that she was happy, the feeling of being wanted so much by somepony, the feeling of being needed. But my thoughts now started to rush. I had just rushed into things again. Twilight said not to do that. What about the wonderbolts? What about my house? Was I really ready to do this? What about Applejack’s one month trial thing, it had only been a few days and I had just declared myself a mom.
‘Just tell her you made a mistake, that you can’t rush this,’ I thought. ‘She’ll be able to take it.’ She squeezed me harder. ‘No. There’s no going back now. Brace yourself Rainbow Dash. Welcome to motherhood.’ A few seconds went by. ‘Twilight’s gonna kill me.’
The next day came with Scootaloo acting rather upbeat, considering only a few days ago her house had been taken away. She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen with a smile on her face and ate her cereal at a normal pace. I did once or twice catch her slowing down and letting her eyes wander, but I was just happy so see that was no longer the norm.
I would have taken her to school, but today was a holiday. One not many ponies cared about called Labor Day. I think the celebration was something about giving general labor ponies a much needed day off, which was great in concept, but a freakin ton of our days are holidays of some form. Heck, most of us, myself included, only actually take the day off if we’re ahead.
No one cared about the holiday, I should say, except Pinkie. Pinkie never met a holiday she didn’t like. Heck for the most part, Pinkie never met a Monday she didn’t like. Still, there was one place you absolutely could not fail to visit on a holiday, Sugar Cube Corner.
I flew down to the small eatery with Scootaloo as… did I hear that right? “Faster!” My ears perked up. “C’mon Rainbow, faster, please?” She was. She was telling me to go faster! She was enjoying the ride again! I shot forward, Scootaloo laughing with glee.
I landed and Scootaloo jumped off my back running for the door of our destination. It was when she threw open the door and yelled in that I realized maybe I shouldn’t be so happy about her being happy. “I’m gonna be Rainbow Dash’s daughter!” she yelled.
My heart started thumping as… yep, Twilight had been flying by. HAD been flying by, boy did she land fast. Scootaloo let the door shut behind her, me feeling abandoned in a lion’s den.
I giggled nervously, looking away from those purple eyes, which were slowly coming closer. “So um… you want to talk?” I asked.
“Oh no,” Twilight said, in a rather “happy” tone. “Let’s go inside.”
‘So it’s a slow death.’ I thought.
Inside Scootaloo was busy sealing my fate. She jumped up to the counter, yelling, “Pinkie? Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie, started slowly coming to the counter, looking around with a nervous grin.
“Are you kidding? Rainbow Dash promised to be my mom yesterday!” Scootaloo shouted. Every pony in the desert shack stopped eating, half looking at Scoots, half looking at me. I wasn’t yet paying attention to their expressions, just those hundreds of eyes (okay so fifty at best) on me. “My dad came back, Rainbow Dash is gonna be my mom, I got all my stuff back- I feel like a million bits!”
“Really? What about yesterday with your-“ Pinkie started, but Twilight suddenly glared at her and cut the air with her hoof in front of her own neck. “Never mind.”
Scootaloo continued. “Pinkie, get over here… please?” Pinkie walked over to the counter. “I… I um… do you do adoption parties?”
“Of course, they’re awesome, who doesn’t love an adoption?” Pinkie asked. “Who’s being adopted now?”
“Um… didn’t I just cover that?” Scootaloo asked. “Me. Rainbow Dash is gonna be my mom.”
Pinkie looked up and over to me. “Dashie?” I nodded with a sheepish grin. “DASHIE!” Pinkie practically screamed. “ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS FINALLY A MOM!” She zipped over to me. “What’s it like?”
“Um-“ I started, but apparently Pinkie had planned this whole, “my friend becoming a mom” thing.
“What’s it like to have a baby, how’s pregnancy, who’s the lucky stallion-“
“Um… I wouldn’t know, I wouldn’t know and um… what?” I replied.
Zoom! Pinkie shot away and up into her room above the shop. “Was that a yes or no on the party thing?” asked Scootaloo, coming over to me.
“You honestly have to ask?” I asked back. “This is Pinkie. The day she turns down a party will be a dark day indeed. Hehe ya know- oh no…” I watched in horror-disguised to the best of my ability- as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle flanked Scootaloo from both side and each put a foreleg over her shoulders, huge grins on both of their faces.
The two started congratulating her as I myself found myself flanked on all side by several ponies. Many started speaking all at once. “Congratulations Rainbow” “I knew you'd make a good mom one day!” “Such a blessing!” “You’ll be great at this!” So many praises and congrats. Normally I would have loved them all for it, however today I was pretty sure I had bucked something up so all I could do was stand there with the cheesiest grin imaginable, scratching the back of my head with my hoof. “Ah knew ya would but ah um… didn’t expect it this soon.”
Oh boy. I looked over at Applejack. No huge grin, no look of condemnation, just confusion was on her face.
“You think I’m going too fast?” I asked.
“Ah might… wee bit… yep,” she continued.
I whispered to her. “Can you help me shut her up?” I looked at Scootaloo.
“Oh no, no, no.” Twilight said, getting between us. “This is pretty much her day. Probably a dream come true. We should let her have her moment, don’t you think?” Twilight looked around at the gathering ponies. “Oh hi Miss Cheerilee.” My eyes practically bulged out of their sockets as I slowly turned to look into the eyes of the elementary school teacher who taught every foal in town, including all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Pinkie reappeared in my face. “So… I have notes!” she wipped out a wad of papers haphazardly thrown together. She started speaking VERY fast, it was surprising I could make it all out. Maybe I was just used to it by that point, considering this was Pinkie. “I’m sorry, I’m usually more organized than this but frankly, I expected you being a mom to be a long ways away, not that I don’t think you can handle it, it’s just you haven’t even shown an interest in Stallions yet- but that’s fine I mean, whatever you have to say about two parents, one in better than none and I’m sure Scootaloo would agree, after all she seems to really like you, idolize you in fact. So hey Twilight do you think an adoption party should be focused on the foal or soon to be parent?”
Twilight shrugged. “Both are celebrating, right Rainbow?” she didn’t have a tone, but the absence of one seemed like more of a problem to me.
“Oh I hope so,” Pinkie started. “I otherwise Rainbow would be starting to act like Violet Blaze and- heeep!” a few eyes turned to her. “Forget I said that name, I never said it. Hey Scootaloo, how about that ice cream cake I promised earlier?”
“Absolutely!” Scootaloo shouted.
“Your fave?” Pinkie asked. “Raspberry Lemon right?” Scootaloo nodded quickly. “Right, and Rainbow’s is…” she went through a few papers. “Oh right, blue berry! Well everyone hang out a bit, I got some work to do…” Pinkie started studying her notes.
I looked at Twilight. “Hehe… Scootaloo’s happy see?”
“Well how many ponies are adopted by their idols?” Twilight asked back.
Pinkie piped in again. “Momma Dash was just bound to happen. Dashie loves kids and if you all catch my meaning, I doubt she’ll have problems with the stallions when she gets around to dating.” I started to blush a little, though I did guess that was meant as a compliment.
“Girls, can I see Rainbow outside?” Twilight asked. “I need to go over… legal matters with her.” All those so called friends of mine either didn’t pay attention or nodded. Thus I left the protection of public and the adoring eyes of Scootaloo, who I doubt very much Twilight would dare hurt me in front of.
Outside the shop and a good distance away, Twilight, still bearing the most plastered smile I’ve ever seen, finally screamed at me. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”
“I wanted to make her smile?” I asked slash answered.
“Rainbow… rrrrr!” she grunted out. “Couldn’t you just wait for that to happen naturally? You realize she’s just having a moment right now right? She’s gonna leave that party and remember her mother still abandoned her and is being prosecuted on charges of abusing her, her father might NOT be coming back into her life and her home is days away from being demolished.”
“Yea but on balance, her father probably is coming back, and no, before you ask, I was clear on that point with her… and I really will adopt her,” I said, forcing myself to hold up my chin.
Twilight looked at me with a kind of pity. “Why?”
“Twi you should have seen her yesterday. I asked how she would feel about adoption-“
“Which was your first mistake.”
“Granted, but that’s hindsight for ya.”
“Also direct warnings from a trusted friend.”
“Yes, I get it, you told me so. But anyway, she said being adopted by me would be a dream come true. She thought she was unworthy because she couldn’t fly. What could I possibly say to that?” I asked.
Twilight shook her head. “Rainbow Dash, if I took you to an orphanage, how many kids would you try to leave with? They all have sob stories after all, all of them would want you and they would all have self-esteem issues.”
“I love kids, I love inspiring, I love ponies who love me and-“
“You have a huge heart,” I looked up and to the left, not wanting to admit that, but maybe it was true. Twilight nodded to herself anyway. “You would try to leave with every kid in the building wouldn’t you?”
“Yea, maybe you shouldn’t plan any trips to orphanages for me. I don’t do well in sad places.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Still I warned you that this wouldn’t be easy and now… well you’re locked in. I give foal services about a week or two before you’re being investigated. Either you start getting this ironed out legally, or there are gonna be problems.”
“So? I mean you know all that legal stuff. What forms do I have to fill out or whatever?” I asked. I closed eyes, realizing there was more to this than that. “Twi, I get that I probably should have given this more thought, but can you honestly tell me what harm I did by moving fast? Because really, I don’t think I hurt anything.”
“It’s just so fast-“
“Which is strange for me?”
“No.”
“Also, how long were you hoping Scootaloo would be homeless and without a family?” I asked.
“I suppose the less time the better,” she said with a sigh.
“Look, I’m not proud of moving too fast here, but maybe it’s for the best ya know?” I asked.
“I’m just worried that you’ll lose your dreams Rainbow.”
“I’ve risked that before Twi.”
“And what if you really do lose them, this time because of Scootaloo, will you resent her?” Twilight asked. “Rainbow she’s going to need therapy and a lot of attention, way more than you’re used to giving.”
“I can count on you to help with all that right?”
“Yea.”
“Well… then what’s the problem? If you’re asking what’s more important to me, the Wonder Bolts or Scootaloo’s happiness, Scootaloo wins hoofs down, my friends mean more to me than my dreams.” Twilight looked away and up, in the direction of my house. ‘Oh crap… forgot about that.’ I thought. “And yea, throw in me buying a house on the ground, I’m fine with that too.”
“Fine with it?”
“Well…” I looked up, seeing my house off in the distance. “I mean I’ll do it if I have to.”
“You have to.” Twilight took out her paper and pen. “Look,” she slowly looked back to Sugar Cube Corner. “Trust me Rainbow, there is a mess of paper work and legal loop holes to jump through to adopt. I’m not proud of the system there to be honest, but that’s not the point. You go back and enjoy yourself with Pinkie’s adoption party, I’m gonna have to go make sure we get all our i’s dotted and t crossed on that paperwork. The sooner I get started the bet-“ But I picked her up and flew back to the soon to be party.
“Nope, it’ll have to wait. Pretty sure we’re all over due for a Pinkie party.” I dropped her off at the door and was about to walk in when I noticed Twilight still looked upset. “What’s wrong Twi? Can we please move on? I’m sorry I rushed the adoption. I know it was wrong but-“
“That’s not it.”
“Then what?”
Twilight looked away. “See that over there?”
“Scootaloo’s house?”
“Three days.”
“Hm?”
“That’s how long before they bulldoze it. I gave that order.” Twilight sighed. “Scootaloo must hate me by now.”
I grunted. “No Twi, no more guilt trips. You saved her life, you’re helping me adopt her, you’re making sure she doesn’t need to be protected from her father…“ I opened the door. “Now get in there before I toss you in.” Twilight started walking in. “Oh and mark my words, she doesn’t hate you.”
We walked in and Twilight made a b-line for Scootaloo. Twilight then gave me a small glare with a scrunched up nose. “She doesn’t hate me huh?” she asked. She looked down at the filly, who was currently chatting with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Hey Scoots, your house is gonna be destroyed in three days.”
“What are you doing Twi?” I asked.
Scootaloo looked up at her. “Oh?” she asked. “Okay, whatever,” she shrugged.
“You… you don’t care?” Twilight asked.
“I’m being adopted, I’m keeping all my stuff, my dad is probably back and um… oh yea, RAINBOW DASH IS ADOPTING ME!” she shouted. “So um… no I don’t care.”
“But just a few days ago you were all broken up about it.”
“Well yea, I mean it was my house, but I can’t live there now anyway, it’s not Rainbow Dash’s house.”
I looked down at her, a smile forcing its way onto my face. “Mom, you’re supposed to call me mom.”
Twilight chuckled. “Momma Dash will do right?” she asked.
I looked at Twilight. “Okay, here’s the thing, Pinkie makes cute names for me all the time, that’s just Pinkie. Momma Dash isn’t my name-“
“Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash,” Twilight started chanting, all three fillies joining in mere seconds later. I looked down at Scootaloo.
“As your mother…” I gritted my teeth, them all still chanting. “I order you to stop…” she wasn’t listening. “Or I’ll do something else being a mom gives me the right to do…”
“You asked for it!” I yelled. I tackled her to the ground and started to blow a big zebert on her stomach, Scootaloo trying her best to fight it, but laughs escaping her anyway. “This was my mom’s secret weapon!” I did it again, Scootaloo screaming and begging for mercy almost immediately. “Oh I don’t know, what’s my name again?” I asked, another raspberry following to punctuate.
“Momma Dash… hahaha CRAP! HAHAHAHA!” it seemed those worked on fillies pretty much universally. And of course, just like my friends don’t help me if I’m getting tickle assaulted (usually they’re the ones doing it to be fair) Sweetie and AB just watched and chuckled as Scootaloo broke. “Rainbow Dash…. BWAAAAHHAHAHAHA!... what did I say wrong?”
“I told you, you don’t call me that anymore.”
“Okay okay… um…mom. Please let me up mommy.” I complied. I then looked around, suddenly realizing I was being adorable in public. Kind of embarrassing really but- well Scootaloo wasn’t done. She jumped at me, throwing me off my hooves and just like that, we were wrestling. Really I was just happy to see the other adults had moved on from watching to just talking amongst themselves.
Pinkie bounced up, looking down at me as I was currently holding my soon to be daughter in the air. “Cakes are ready you two.” She started walking away. “By the way, Dashie’s worst tickle spot is under her left foreleg.”
(***)
Tickle fights, wrestling, eating cake, Pinkie pulling presents out of thin air, yep, it was a great party. I don’t know what came over me, I just started to act like a kid with Scoots. It was really fun, course eventually I stopped winning every fight when Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle joined in. You would think Pinkie would join in, and she did, however who’s side she took was pretty random.
Eventually Scoots was sent off to be with her friends Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom at the CMC club house, Apple Jack promising to keep an eye on Scootaloo especially.
After the party, we went to her castle and Twilight practically dropped a stack of papers on my lap that was about twenty or thirty pages thick. “This is abridged, you’re lucky I had the short version of some adoption paper work lying around.”
“Why did you have this?” I asked. “Is somepony thinking of having a child of her own?”
“Princess, remember? Law is kind of my job.” Twilight said, apparently completely missing my jab. “On a related note, that’s my only copy so I’ll have to get another later on. Anyway, I’m off to talk to a few judges, whom I’m sure have memorized my face by now. Have fun with the paper work.”
(***)
I…. HATE… paperwork. I sifted through it all, signed my name a bazzilion times, had to stop to look up what race I am out of the apparent seven pegasi races, wrote down my blood type, the names of my parents, existing medical conditions- none that I can think of- existing mental conditions-does wanting to be a mom count?- and on and on down a list of boring and repetitive questions, most of which I swear didn’t make a shred of difference.
About fifteen pages in, Twilight had returned. “Rainbow Dash?” I looked up to see she was looking at me. My eyes were half shut and I was about to pass out from boredom. I started thanking Celestia that she was here to rescue me. “Look, sorry I was hard on you earlier. Anyway I wanted to do something… nice… kinda nice? So ya know I um… kinda went house shopping for you.”
“That really is nice.” I said, getting up. “Really really nice. I could have-“
“Yea well… I also kinda inquired what would happen to your home after you leave and apparently pegasi houses are just reclaimed by the weather ponies and broken down so um… yea… um… wanted to do something nice.”
“What?!” I asked, holding still. “You mean… is there… can’t I just keep it?”
“Not if no pony is living there. You leave and it’s well… gone.”
I shook my head. “Sheesh, does every house get repurposed in Ponyville?”
“Only those of abused foals or, apparently, those that are entirely made of clouds.” She looked at me with a half frown.
“But… it’s my home.” I moved slowly. I looked around the room. “Well… maybe we can hang parts of it in my new house um… yea no.”
Twilight put a stack of pictures in front of me. “I know what it’s like to lose a home so, that’s why I looked for a new one for you.”
“That was really nice Twi,” I laid out the pictures. “You’re a good friend.”
“Yea well, I wanted to make things a little easier, seeing as I can’t just adopt my friends when they’re feeling bad.”
“Okay now you’re just being a twerp,” I said with a slight smile.
“No. You see…” Twilight paused. She started to hum, “This is me being a twerp; Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash” she started singing.
“Ya know, tickling is okay between friends too,” I noted, a sly grin coming over my face.
“Oh but you’re forgetting something Rainbow,” she looked at me with an even bigger and much more obviously evil grin. “I’m the bigger pony here.” Her horn glowed and soon I was rolling on the floor absolutely begging her to stop.
(***)
A few minutes and many pleas for mercy later, Twilight accompanied me back home. Looking around she turned to leave, floating the pictures of my new potential houses to me. “I’ll got get some movers for you-“
“Twi,” I interrupted. “Please stop doing me favors okay?” She stopped. “What’s bugging you now?”
She shrugged. “I’m just worried okay. I want this to work out for both of you and you’re both going to lose so much by the time this is all over that I want to just… well ya know, make it all easier.”
“Twi it’s just a house.” I looked back at my home. “All the same… would you mind walking through it with me one last time? Guess I’m getting sentimental, but I might like to share a few of its memories before it’s gone ya know?” Twilight smiled at me.
“Of course.” We walked in, me looking around. The stairs, the statues, the Scootaloo, the Fluttershy- wait. I turned around, looking at the door I just came through. “Didn’t I lock this?”
“Oh… I’m sorry. Applejack asked me to drop her off and I couldn’t bear to leave a flightless child up here all alone,” Fluttershy said. “It was locked but well, it’s made of clouds you see and well… I didn’t want to look over the side anymore, it’s a long way down you know.”
I got down with the pictures in my mouth and placed them in front of Scootaloo. “Hey Squirt, pick a house okay?” I asked.
“Why?” she asked back. Then her mouth opened wide, “You’re not leaving the cloud mansion are you?” She slowly started looking down and to the left. “Because of me huh?”
“Well yea, but don’t look at it like that,” I said.
“How am I supposed to look at it? You’ve lived here since before I even knew you. When you’re gone, who’s gonna take it?” she asked back.
“They’re gonna destroy it,” I said, calmly as I could.
“WHAT?!” Scootaloo shouted. “I’m not worth that! You can’t just leave your home. Look I can’t do that to you, Rainbow Dash I-“
“What did I say about calling me that?” Scootaloo seemed to try to mouth something to me, but it didn’t come out as anything but random lip movements. I sat down next to her. “Look squirt, I’m not gonna lie. This adoption isn’t going to be painless for either of us. I mean I’d rather it not happen it all,” she looked at me, starting to back away. “Um-um, what I meant with that was, I wish you weren’t being abused and this wasn’t necessary. Let me try something kiddo, c’mere.” She obeyed and sat closer to me. “Follow me.”
We walked up the stairs, my friends trialing behind. “To start, some ponies think I’m super rich when they see this place. Really I’m not. It’s just made from clouds. Seriously, how much do ya think water vapor costs?” I purposefully skipped the guest room. “Here’s my room. Over there I remember all the girls standing while I lost it because Tank was going to hibernate… for the record, I blame the alcohol-stay away from it kid.” My bedroom was small, with a huge bed taking up nearly all the floor space. Another flight of stairs up was the next room. “This is my entertainment room.” In the room was a large couch surrounded by a few instruments, toys and the walls were positively covered in wonder bolt posters. I walked in. “Here in the closet, this is my custom dress made by Rarity herself, best fashionista in Equestria. And over there on the pedestal shaped like a pony head, that’s my trophy from the young fliers competition. In fact, ya know what?” I picked up the trophy and put it on Scootaloo’s head.
“But I can’t fly,” Scootaloo objected.
“Yea but I don’t think it’s fair that there are no contests for best scooter rider. You win.” I said. “Besides, come,” another flight of stairs up and we were in the next room. “My trophy room.” There must have been fifteen or twenty trophies in that room. Scootaloo stood there in shock. “Well there are reasons I’m recognized without already being a bolt kiddo. There’s one for my sky clearing record, one for doing the first rainboom in one hundred and fifty years, one for when my team won hoof ball… sheesh I actually don’t even remember what half of these are for. Guess you chose your idol well squirt.” Scootaloo smiled looking at it all, but Twilight and Fluttershy rolled their eyes.
Up another flight of stairs we went. “This is the last room of note. I mean, you’ve all been in my kitchen and dinning room on the second floor, but they’re nothing special. This is the rainbow factory.” In the middle of the room was a pool filled with rainbow liquid that shot a huge rainbow up and out of the house. “Didn’t help make this really, just had some extra money and thought it looked cool in the catalog so I bought it. In hindsight, blowing half my life savings on a house addition was probably a bad idea”
Fluttershy walked over to the pool. “It flows up, how does it do that?”
I grinned. “I have to keep giving it a steady flow of sacrificial squirrels!” I announced. Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I would never hurt an animal, you know that.” She didn’t laugh, instead just biting her lip, making me question my choice in joke. I still wasn’t sure how to joke with Fluttershy, even after two years of knowing her and a decade and a half of knowing of her. I looked over at Scootaloo.
I flew over and snatched her up. “Actually I have to feed it little fillies!” I said, tossing her in. She screamed and made a splash. I must say, I’m not a pony who generally looks for things to be cute, but when Scoots sat up in the rainbow pool covered in rainbow water, her mane messed up and spitting out the sour tasting fluid, it was adorable at the same time as hilarious. The filly smirked at my laughing and finally jumped out, tackling me. We wrestled for a few seconds, until I was able to hold the filly down with one hoof, her giggling and taking token swipes at me with her forelegs. “Le sacrifice is struggling, I must return her!” I tossed her back in, myself now covered in rainbow water. Fluttershy was now chuckling.
Scootaloo got up again and I wrapped a foreleg around her, putting my other hoof in the air. “Now zee finishing blow!” I ground my hoof into her head, messing up her mane and forcing her to slightly wince. “The noogie of doom!” I let her go, Scoots deciding to play dead for a few seconds before she jumped out and shook herself off.
I zipped around her several times at high speed to dry me and her off. When I was done, I was dry and my windblown mane looked awesome as ever. Scootaloo however had her mane standing on end and randomly frayed out, tufts of her fur sticking out in every direction. “Okay I’m still gonna have to work on that trick it seems.” I said, trying not to laugh outloud. Scootaloo rolled her eyes and started shaking with laughter when she looked over at a large mirror in the room. Seeing as she was okay with it, I fell over laughing, joining her.
I then snatched her up and shot back down the several flights of stairs, leaving the others to keep up. I stopped at the guest room. “But this, this is the room I find I care about the most. My bedroom of course has all kinds of memories of reading my books and passing out, the trophy room memories of some of the best days of my life, that fountain room a memory of when I learned how to better manage my bits when I went into debt for several months, but this room tops them all.” I pointed at the bed. “Right there. That’s where it happened. I mean, the paperwork still isn’t done, but I’ll always remember this as where it happened. That’s where I became a mom.” Scootaloo walked in.
“Don’t you see?” I asked as she looked around her own room like she was seeing it for the first time. “It’s all nothing compared to you Scoots. I would give up anything for my friends and your one of them.”
“But I don’t want you to give it all up,” Scootaloo said, looking back at me.
“But if I don’t, I can’t have you. I don’t want this house. I want you. I want my daughter.” I shook my head. “If it means I lose you, then I hate the very idea of keeping this place.” I stood by her. “Forgive me for a really sappy moment here. You see all this?” I waved my hoof in the air. “This isn’t my home, it’s just walls made of clouds and a few memories. Now that I’m a mom, my home is pretty obvious don’t you think? My home,” I wrapped a foreleg around my daughter, pulling her in to a small side hug. “Is with you.”
I think that worked. At least the fact that Scootaloo was hugging me and crying tears of joy made me think I had succeeded in making her feel better. Hey, maybe I should do more of these poetic speech things, I seem to be a natural at it!
Five days passed after that without much interesting happening. Despite that Scootaloo seemed to be doing better, Twilight and Apple Jack both said they doubted she had truly moved on so quickly. She sure seemed happy when we started moving into my new house, but soon I did find cause to look into therapy for the filly as Twilight kept insisting I should.
Everything started out so well that day too.
That mourning I traveled up the stairs of my new house, flying to avoid all the items I was planning to put away at… some point. Trophies, clothes, toys, it all lay strewn everywhere. It had taken me years to set up my mansion, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that taking that long with a kid in my life was probably wrong.
I thought about it, but I didn’t dwell much on it. At the top of the stairs I knocked on Scootaloo’s door. I didn’t get a response so I listened. It was then that I got an idea. Scoots had been relying on me to wake her up all week. True, I had yet to find and unpack an alarm clock for her, but I still felt like being a little cheeky. I tested the door knob, unlocked, good.
I slowly opened the door, flying into the dark room. I slowly flew to the light switch, being quiet as I could. Everything played in my head before it was to happen. I would hit the switch, Scootaloo would curl up in her covers and I would pounce on her, tangling her up in the blanket and from there do basically whatever I wanted to my little filly victim. (Worst thing I would do would be tickling of course, but I was still being devious and loving it.)
I flicked the switch and- “BOO!” Scootaloo jumped up in my face from the floor at my feet where I had failed to notice her, sending me back out the door in shock and causing me to bonk my head on the wall. Grinning, Scootaloo took off down the stairs, scrambling past boxes as she went and knocking a few of them over.
I had to get my breathing back to normal for half a second, but still, she was NOT getting away with that. “Get back here you little runt!” I shot down the stairs after her.
I found her in the dining room, jumping onto one of the chairs around the dinner table. “Base!” she shouted. I gave her a sly smile as she grinned at me. “That’s the third time you’ve done that this week. I got you back this time didn’t I?” she asked as I flew around her seat.
“You think you’re safe on base huh?” I asked. “I’ll let you have it,” I said, slowly landing. “But you know, you’re going to have to come away from it eventually and you know it.
I looked around my new kitchen. It was much less grand than my old home, which was no doubt being demolished by now. I had actually done my best to say away from the cloud mansion that week, as I didn’t want to make Scootaloo question if I really wanted her more than my old house… truth is I didn’t want to question it myself.
In the kitchen I had a table, a few chairs, some cabinets, the refrigerator, an oven, the usual stuff. It wasn’t very roomy, but like I had told Scootaloo before, I really wasn’t that rich. Food and unpacked boxes lined the counters. Again it struck me that maybe I should take Pinkie up on her offer of a moving party.
I got a little cereal for myself. “You gonna get some for your daughter?” asked Scootaloo, looking at me as if to beg. I pretended to ignore her and just sat at the table instead with my cereal.
“Somepony is going to have to venture out and get it herself isn’t she?” I asked, slowly starting to read a newspaper I had put by my chair the day before. Scootaloo looked at the cereal, just sitting on the kitchen counter. She could easily just jump off her chair and grab it, but she knew she would have to leave “base”. I glanced at the front page, waiting for my prey. The head line caught my eye however.
It read as follows; “Town Hero, Rainbow Dash, Adopts Filly After Saving her Life”. The story went on to describe in detail the events of my adoption of Scootaloo and her past abuse. There was even a part that detailed Scootaloo’s rejection by her mother at the clinic. My mouth dropped open.
“What the buck?” I asked quietly. I started getting more and more angry as I read. This was personal stuff. No pony needed to know what Violet Blaze did. Sure I wanted Violet’s reputation ruined, but announcing things like this would make things hard for Scoots too. I paused when I finally saw who the source for all this was. I looked up, noticing Scootaloo had snuck some cereal while I wasn’t paying attention. “Um Scootaloo, didn’t I tell you to keep what happened in the clinic to yourself?”
Scootaloo shrugged. “I forgot.”
“Why would you tell anypony this much?” I asked further, showing her the paper.
“I had to talk to somepony I guess.” She took another bite.
“Why didn’t you come to me?”
“Well… you know what happened… and… you seem happier when I’m happy so… ya know. You gonna punish me?”
“Well… I guess not. It doesn’t seem right, you were just reaching out and all. But you need to listen to me.” Scootaloo kept eating her cereal. “Have you been hiding your feelings from me?”
“Maybe a little… I just want you to be happy is all.”
“But I’m… I’m… I’m your mother.”
“So?”
“But what are you really feeling?” I lifted up from my chair and flew over to her. “Squirt, if what your mother said is still bothering you I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I’m fine,” she said, eating her cereal.
“If that’s true, why pour your heart out to strangers?”
“I just had to get some things off my chest.”
“But you live with me, just do that with me.”
“No,” Scootaloo replied.
“But you should.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m your mother.”
“Like I already said, so?” She raised an eyebrow to me. “I love you, I don’t want to see you sad and knowing when I’m feeling bad will only make you feel bad. So don’t worry about it, I’ll handle it.”
I landed and stomped a hoof on the ground. “Scoots NO!” I shouted at her. “You have to talk to ME!”
“WHY!?” she shouted back.
“I’m your mother, it’s my job!” I yelled back.
“WHY?!”
“I… because…” I sat down on the floor. “Why?” I whispered to myself. ‘I know I’m right,’ I thought. ‘But, why am I right?’
“Well?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well for one ponies like this will just take advantage of you,” I showed her the paper again. “Do you really want all the other foals at school knowing what happened to you in the clinic?” Scootaloo paused, then looked at her cereal. “I would never do that to you.”
“I know that. You love me so you don’t want to hurt me. I love you so I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But I want to help you.”
“So?”
“So let me!” I shouted again.
“NO!” She glared at her cereal. “I will NEVER hurt my friends or my new mother. I won’t hurt them, not like… not like…”
I blinked, suddenly knowing what she was going to say. “Not like your old mother hurt you?” Scootaloo bit her lip. “Oh I am so out of my league here,” I accidentally said out loud. “We need help.”
(***)
Seeing as it was Saturday, there was no school, but I opted to take Scootaloo to the clinic instead of letting her hang out with her friends. I didn’t like keeping her from Sweetie and AB, but I had to get answers. I needed to know what Scootaloo was really feeling and to know how to get her to come to me. Even as we walked to the clinic, Scootaloo seemed to walk with a spring in her step, that now I was starting to analyze. Did she really feel good or was it all a show?
Out of the clinic walked a pony wearing a Stetson hat. I stopped her. “Apple Jack?” AJ looked up. “What are you doing here?”
AJ chuckled. “Hm? Oh ah swear ah must come ere’ at least once a week. Apple Bloom and Big Mac can’t go as long without cuttin’, breakin’ or bruisin’ somethin’… not that ah’m much better. Mostly minor stuff though. Ah was just filling a prescription for Granny today is all. What’er you here for?”
I looked down at Scootaloo. “We need a shrink I think.”
Scootaloo sighed. “Is this really necessary?” she asked.
“Had a feelin’ that might need ta happen,” AJ opted. “You’re adoption happened so fast an’ all.” AJ started to dig into her saddle bags. “Ifn’ ya’ll could hold up a bit, the clinic has a therapist ah might recommend. Apple Bloom has needed a few visits herself, especially considerin’ our parents passin’ away.” Apple Jack pulled out a card and gave it to me. “Not sure what ah would do without this stallion, he’s a life saver when it comes to foals, trust me.”
I read the card. “Um… This is a joke right?”
AJ shook her head. “Ah have no idea what’s wit’ that name. He’s a nice stallion though, trust me.”
(***)
I stood outside his office, reading his name plate over and over again. “Killy Filly MFCC” I’d never actually been to a therapist before but I was pretty sure a name like that wasn’t a good sign. A nurse passed by and I grinned asking, “Is there a ya know, Happy Filly or Feel Good Colt or something? I mean… Killy Filly…”
The nurse rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why he won’t change his name. Course Killy is apparently a family name so I don’t know what he’s supposed to do. You want to be concerned, you should be here when his family visits.” I cocked my head to the side. “He has a good reputation. I suppose we had a Happy Filly for a while, but he was sued for malpractice… like fifteen times. Trust me you don’t want to track him down.”
“Um…”
The nurse rolled her eyes. “Oh for Celestia sake, I’ll just knock on the door for you.” And she did thusly.
A brown stallion pegasus opened the door. “Ah!” he said. “So you must be Rainbow Dash, the front desk said you would be back soon.”
“I’ve never met you, how do you know my name-“ he and I both looked at my mane. “Oh, right… kinda obvious.”
“Well there’s that and again, the front desk just sent you back. A little apprehensive are we?” He asked.
“I’m bringing you a filly and your name is Killy Filly, to be blunt, yes.”
The therapist walked back into his office, me following. “I find the name to be a bit of a filter. I’m one of the only therapists in town with such a good reputation. Still, when ponies see the name, they often give trying to solve their problems themselves another shot. Basically to talk to a doctor called Killy Filly, you have to be pretty sure something is wrong with your filly, don’t you?”
“Why would you… huh?” I asked.
“You would not believe how many children develop a complex due to their parents not having enough faith to just work with them or let them work things out on their own.” We both looked at Scootaloo, who was just standing in the door way. “Is she the patient? Are you coming in young lady?”
“You’re not gonna kill me are you? I’m a filly,” Scootaloo answered.
The therapist held up a hoof. “I promise I won’t even touch you.”
“Seriously though, what is it with that name?” I asked.
“Well the filly seems to be observant and to be having normal reactions,” he smiled at me and blinked. I blinked and had to think. “As do you it seems.”
“Wait did you just- did you-“ I stuttered.
“Don’t think about it.” The doctor took out a note pad from his desk. I looked around the office, seeing I was currently surrounded by several selves with books. In front of me was the doctor and his large desk and to my right was a rather strange looking couch. “You can have a seat if you think you’d be more comfortable.” He looked up and smiled warmly at Scootaloo, suppressing what looked like a chortle. “Oh and young lady, as long as you’re still over there, could you shut the door?” Scootaloo looked at me as if to make sure it was okay to obey him. I nodded. She came in, closed the door and came closer to us. The doctor leaned back, relaxing. “So why are you two here?”
“My new daughter here, she’s talking to other ponies about her problems and not coming to me. What should I do?” I asked.
The doctor looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Nothing?” he shrugged. “If you just adopted her recently, she’s probably not used to coming to you with problems. She just needs to learn that she can trust you.”
“How did you know I adopted her recently?” I sighed. “Did you read the paper?” I asked, looking over at the newspaper on his desk.
“Hm? You- oh wow, that is you,” the doctor picked up his paper. “No I didn’t think of that. Actually I was just paying attention. You said she was your “new daughter”.” He made air quotes. “So I deduced you recently adopted.”
Scootaloo put up her hoof. “Hold up, I trust Rainbow Dash. What do you mean I need to learn to trust?”
The doctor motioned to the couch. “Why don’t you have a seat?” Scootaloo obeyed, still looking confused. “So, let me ask you something. To you, who’s Rainbow Dash?” he asked her.
“The best flyer in all of Equestria, the bestest athlete period. She says she’s gonna take me under her wing some day and she agreed to be my sister and- oh right and she’s my mom now.” I grinned hearing the stream of compliments from Scootaloo, she was always a source of ego stroking.
“It has struck you that she is no longer your sister then right?” The doctor picked up the newspaper. “Odd, the paper didn’t say you two were already related before the adoption.”
“Oh well technically we weren’t,” I threw in. “I was basically her mentor, but we called it a sisterhood.”
“I see,” he said nodding. The doctor put down the paper again and clicked his hooves together. “Let me try something,” he pointed at me. “Scootaloo, who is this?”
“Rainbow Dash… duh,” she said.
“Mmmhm.” He looked back to me. “Rainbow Dash, might I ask you a few things?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“Who is that?” he pointed at Scootaloo.
“Scootaloo, my new daughter,” I replied easily.
“I see,” he replied. I cocked my head to the side, not sure I liked that response. “Rainbow Dash, how long ago did you adopt this child?”
“Just a few days,” I replied.
He looked back to Scootaloo. “Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash is your mother. Why don’t you call her mom?”
“Um, because I’m not use to it I guess,” Scootaloo replied.
“I surmised as much,” Mr. Killy replied. “However… maybe this is the right question. What do you expect in a mother?”
Scootaloo seemed to have to think about that one for a minute, looking at the couch, then around the room, then at me. “Um… um, toooooo live in the same house?”
“There are no wrong answers here Scootaloo, just tell me what you think,” the therapist reassured.
Scootaloo had to think again. “Well, I expect her to love me. I expect her to spend time with me, at least I hope she will,” my eyes went wide, but Mr. Killy held up a hoof to keep me quiet. “I want someone to play with me. To make sure I have enough food I guess… I think… a mother is supposed to do that right?” Neither of us answered, me growing more and more uncomfortable with each answer. “Someone to pay the bills… I guess that’s it.”
“What about discipline, how often have you disciplined Scootaloo as a parent or as sister?” asked the doctor of me.
“Well never really. I figured at this point I should try to be nice.” I replied.
“Oh no,” the doctor waved his hoof to cut me off. “Hm… that I can correct you on right now. Imagine if Celestia did away with all of her laws in the wake of a national disaster, no more prosecuting criminal ponies, all law suspended until everyone feels better.”
I thought for a minute. “It could work, sounds nice actually, I mean-“
“Chaos would immediately ensue and the citizenry would feel completely vulnerable,” the doctor cut me off. “Scootaloo needs rules and discipline not just to be raised properly but just to feel secure. You suspending discipline keeps her from having a sense of normality and structure.”
“From the fact that her mother only saw her on weekends or less, I doubt she’s ever really had that much structure in her life. I would guess she’s used to that by now,” I said with a shrug.
“You have no idea how sad that is do you?” Killy asked. I tried to think for a minute, but shook my head soon thereafter.
I sighed. I knew there was something wrong with the answers I was giving, and I guessed I should have known what, but I didn’t. “I’m gonna be a bad mother aren’t I?” I asked.
Killy shook his head. “You think every new mother immediately knows the value of discipline?” he asked. “The fact that you care enough to be here and you’re not chewing me out for daring to question your methods says there’s definitely hope for you. You don’t know how often I’ve been attacked by parents for just stating simple truths.” The doctor looked at Scoots again. “Scootaloo, what do you expect from a sister?”
Scootaloo didn’t have to think as long on that one. “Her to love me, spend time with me and play with me. Also I guess it would be great if she trained me a little.”
Killy nodded. “It doesn’t seem like either of you know what to expect from this endeavor. That’s not too surprising from a new parent and a neglected foal I suppose, however I feel I must point out, I would have recommended someone with parenting experience take on the task of raising an abused foal, not a pony completely new to the concept.”
I nodded, remembering the whole thing with me wanting Apple Jack to do this. “It’s not like I can give her to somepony else now,” I said. “Can I?” I asked, getting a rather dejected look from Scootaloo. “I’d still be your sister just-“
“No.” the doctor said flatly, and I swear he rolled his eyes (not sure how professional that is). “Bouncing her around would be a bad idea. You’re what we’ve got,” the doctor said pointing at me, “And we need to work with what we’ve got.” He looked at the ceiling. “Now if I might ask, what specifically made you concerned that Scootaloo wasn’t coming to you?”
I pointed at the news paper. “She talked to a bunch of strangers instead of telling me she was still having problems with what happened with her mother.”
Killy raised an eyebrow to me. “Her still being upset after about a week… you should have expected that. Still, Scootaloo, why didn’t you talk to Rainbow Dash about how you were feeling?”
“Hm?” Scootaloo asked back. “Well she already knows what’s going on. But even then, I don’t like making her sad. Everyone around me was crying, hugging and being so quiet when I was upset and I didn’t like that, so I figured I just keep how I feel to myself.” She looked down at the couch again. “Actually I’m not sure why I told the reporters what happened and how sad I sometimes am.”
“Might I take a guess at why?” asked the therapist. “You wanted to talk to someone but you didn’t want to upset those you care about so you told a stranger. Sound about right?” Scootaloo nodded.
Scoots continued. “Rainbow Dash is an awesome pony and so are the rest of my friends. They all helped me so much. I don’t know I figured if all they need is a smile then… it’s the least I can do.” Scoots hung her head. “I really am having fun with everyone!” she practically shouted, forcing a smile. “It’s not like I’m faking, not… not entirely.”
The therapist nodded. “I see.”
I turned to her. “Scoots, you can come to me, in fact, you should come to me when you’re hurting so-“
The doctor cut me off, waving a hoof at me. “No, not necessarily. Scootaloo does need to learn to share her feelings with those she can trust, but that doesn’t always mean you,” the doctor looked back at his notes. “In any case, has she ever shared her feelings with you on matters like this?”
“I was there for the initial sock of it all,” I said. “When she first lost her home she didn’t hide much of anything from me.”
The doctor nodded. “I see.” The doctor held up the newspaper again. “I guess this is probably a valid enough reference. Here’s what I’m starting to get, Rainbow, Scootaloo. To you Scootaloo, Rainbow wants to help you through your problems. Believe it or not, that will actually make her happier than you know.” I looked at Scootaloo and nodded, Scoots looking away from me. “To you Rainbow Dash, you rescued Scootaloo, adopted her and are now providing for her in a way she’s not used too. She wouldn’t be the first pony to feel like she’s becoming a burden in a situation like that. She wants to do things for you but she’s not sure what she even can do… am I right?” Scootaloo nodded. “It’s common.”
“Scootaloo you don’t need to-“
“Again no. You like to jump in don’t you?” the doctor asked me. I grinned sheepishly. “Telling her she doesn’t need to do anything will range from useless to making the problem worse. Have you ever wanted to pay someone back for a favor only to have them tell you not to even try?” I shook my head. “Really?” the doctor’s head practically shot back. “I thought everypony had experienced that. Folks do nice things for you yes?”
“Well yea, but I always figure I’ll pay them back eventually and don’t worry about it.” I replied.
“You’re a fairly capable pony aren’t you?” He asked. I nodded. “Well then I guess I’ll need to break this down for you. There will come a time when you will need somepony else’s help, it WILL happen. On that day, some day, you will not be able to pay that pony back, ever. Again, this WILL happen. How do you think that will make you feel?”
I had to think about that. Twilight and the rest of my friends had done so much for me, and even I knew I hadn’t truly paid them all back completely, but what would it mean to not be able to? I guessed that would probably have something to do with when I got old. I wouldn’t have much money, wouldn’t be able to fly very fast, I wouldn’t remember stuff… “If I were in a situation like that, wouldn’t I be more worried about myself?” I asked.
The doctor cocked his head to the side, about to speak, but then paused. He seemed to consider better of something. “For a while perhaps. But eventually you will worry about what those around you are going through too. And just like with Scootaloo here, simply telling you that you don’t need to do anything won’t help, it may even make you feel worse.” The doctor sat back in his chair. “Here’s what I’m going to recommend for now. First, I might like a few follow up visits with Scootaloo, you might not be allowed to personally sit in on all of them, just to warn you.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not always easy to understand why, but sometimes it really is easier to talk to a stranger about what’s bothering you than someone you respect. Not having you in the room may help Scootaloo open up more.” I sighed. I didn’t like that idea one bit. But I supposed this guy was the expert… at least I hoped he was with a name like Killy Filly. “Next, when you get home, I want you to start enforcing rules and penalties for breaking them. You need to start getting her used to what it means to be in a stable home, you do her no favors by delaying the transition. I want you to NOT constantly bug her about what might be wrong, at least not more than would be natural. If she’s crying or unusually quiet, of course ask if something is wrong, but don’t pester her, you’ll make her feel like you don’t believe she can recover. Finally,” the doctor clicked his hoof at Scootaloo. “You need to strategize with her what she can do to start paying back those who have helped her.”
“But she can’t,” I protested. “Not really.” Scootaloo gave me a look of shock, like I had just taken away an important toy and smashed it in front of her.
“Blunt aren’t we?” the doctor asked shaking his head and almost laughing. “I suppose not truly, now that you’ve just thrown that out there,” he turned to Scoots. “However, young lady, there are things you can do for others and I see nothing wrong with you doing them. How about you make Rainbow Dash breakfast in bed a few times?” I wasn’t sure about her doing that, but to my surprise she nodded and started to smile. “Are there any extra chores you can do?”
Scootaloo paused to think, however she looked unusually happy about doing chores. “I could help unpack some of Rainbow Dash’s boxes from the move. I mean she… gave up her house for me.” Scootaloo slowed down.
“Oh… oh I see,” The doctor turned to me again. “You really do need to start letting her do things for you.”
“Why?” I asked. “I’m her mother now, isn’t it just normal that I do things without asking for anything back? That’s how my mom was. She never asked anything of me.”
“Never?” he asked.
“Well… I don’t remember anything anyway. Course then again- er… um,” I looked at Scootaloo. I stopped. How could I tell her my mother had passed away before I was even her age? She would feel sorry for me and might question if I even knew what it meant to be a mother… which I didn’t to be fair.
“If you’ll take the compliment, you don’t look that old Rainbow Dash, your time at home couldn’t have been that long ago. What did you do for your mother growing up? Like maybe when she was sad, or if she got injured?”
“I… I don’t know,” I gritted my teeth. “The only time… the only time…” I didn’t even know what was happening but I suddenly shot it out, “Can Scootaloo PLEASE leave… just the room… just wait outside… PLEASE!” Scootaloo backed up on the couch. The doctor started moving slowly himself. He looked at me, like he was studying me.
“For the moment… Scootaloo, please leave the room. I will tell you when it’s alright to come back in.” Scoots lifted a hoof to leave, but then put it back down. She held up her head and sat down with a steely look of resolve on her face. “Scootaloo this is not a trick, I know you want to help, but don’t fight me. Just please go outside the door. I promise we are not ignoring you.”
“But if she’s hurting then I want to-“
“Go!” the doctor finally ordered. I didn’t like him taking a tone with her when she was only being nice, but I was doing by best not to fight him. Scootaloo walked out the door quickly, but hesitated when she reached for the knob. She looked back. I nodded to her. She walked out and closed the door.
The doctor sighed and started talking again. “Now, what-“
“She’s dead!” I shouted. “My mother died when I was seven!” I started choking on my own words. “I remember almost nothing. I don’t know how to be a mom and I never should have tried.” I stamped the floor several times. “All I do is play with her and say a few nice words, it’s all I know how to do. Discipline? I don’t know how to punish a child. What if I go too far? What if it’s not far enough? And now it’s just getting worse as she’s hurting and she won’t even tell me what’s wrong. I don’t know what I’m doing. I knew I should have had Apple Jack do this, I just knew it. I can’t be a mother, I’m not mature, I’m not smart, I’m not… why are you letting me say these things, aren’t you supposed to help?”
The doctor nodded. “Yes I am. However constantly interrupting you won’t do that. Let me pose you a question though. If I were one of your friends, for instance, this Apple Jack that you mentioned, what would she say?”
“She would say… she would try to be honest. She would say I am immature, but I can be smart when I want to be. She would say I can grow if I really try. She would say that this isn’t going to be easy, but I can do it.”
Killy nodded. “Yes. To be honest, it doesn’t sound like there’s much I could say that would be better than that.”
“Then why am I here with you and not with her?”
“Well, again, to be honest, you don’t have to do things with me. You could have gone to a friend and things might have worked out better, if for nothing else, then just for your wallet. However, the difference is, I have authority and have studied these things. For instance, she would probably not know to say this. Go ahead and cry. Let it out.”
I held in a scream, stamping the floor again, tears were streaming out of my eyes at this point. Finally I gave in to a few sobs.
I don’t know when it happened exactly, but I suddenly felt a small body press up against mine and wrap me in a tight hug. I looked down to see Scootaloo looking up at me. I suddenly looked up at the doctor. “You- you-“ I gently pushed her away. Then I shouted in rage. “You knew she would listen didn’t you?!”
He seemed to hold back a chuckle. “She didn’t have to, you’re the one who decided to shout, stomp and scream. Had you let me speak before your outburst I would have told you to keep it down. However when you shouted instead of listening to me, I decided to let nature takes its course.” Still angry, but not able to see him as wrong, I looked away from both ponies in the room. “Rainbow Dash, don’t you see what’s happening here? You’re holding back how you feel from Scootaloo. Why?”
“Because she’s been through enough!” I yelled back, glaring at him. I’m wasn’t even sure why I was angry at him at this point either. “Her mother told her she didn’t love her. All mine did was die that’s nothing compared to it. I can’t even imagine how I would feel if that happened.” I looked away quickly.
“Scootaloo, why don’t you want to talk to Rainbow Dash about your problems?” I don’t know what the visual response was but she didn’t talk. “It’s because you think she’s helped enough don’t you?” I looked over my shoulder slowly, seeing Scootaloo looking away from me. “And, I might guess, it’s also because you don’t want to hurt her.”
The doctor paused and then continued. “And this is the problem. Both of you have the idea that there’s some kind of limit and that sharing your feelings will go over that limit.” I noticed Scootaloo slowly look back at me. “And I’m going to tell you something you’re not going to like. What you both believe so earnestly, is complete bunk.” Both of us snapped to looking at the therapist.
He addressed me first. “Rainbow Dash, helping you with your feelings would allow Scootaloo to feel like she’s being of use and not just burdening you. She can listen and there are a plethora of other things she can do to help you. As her mother, one of the things you must do is foster a desire to help others and to pay back her debts, not tell her she's wrong for having such feelings. You also aren’t demonstrating much faith in her. If she were going overboard that would be one thing, but wanting to do something at all isn’t overboard.”
He looked at my daughter. “Scootaloo, you need to understand that being dishonest with your mother actually hurts her in the long run as she earnestly wants what’s best for you. You’re making her feel like she’s failing. And yes, I’m sure she was there when you got hurt. That doesn’t mean she knows what’s happening inside your head. If you want your mother to feel better, you need to tell her what's wrong or you will only make her feel worse and worse.” I wanted tell him to stop being so honest with her about that. He was make her feel guilt no doubt. Like I said, she had been through enough, she didn’t need to have my problems too.
The doctor continued. “Here is what I’m going to have you two do. Later I want both of you to do something fun together, just to confirm that I’m right in saying it won’t break the other for you to share with them. But right now, Rainbow Dash, you go first, you’re the mother, you have to be an example. Tell Scootaloo what happened with your mother, beginning to end. Let her know what happened and how you feel now.”
“I don’t want to hurt her.” I said. Scootaloo looked at me, holding up a hoof, like she was holding back from running to me.
“Feeling closed off from you hurts her, it shows her that that's how to behave. You want to help her, let her help you.”
“What can she do?”
“She can listen.” He looked at my daughter. “Scootaloo, can you do that?”
Scootaloo didn’t look at the doctor. She looked at me with those big innocent eyes and nodded.
“I can’t…” I said, starting to cry again. “She… she…”
“Do it.”
I took a deep breath. I prepared to tell my daughter, the story of my mother.
I narrated the memory of mom’s last day best I could to Scootaloo, not sure what was or wasn’t important. It all seemed important to me.
(Seventeen years ago)
That day mom wasn’t there for breakfast, instead she got an extra early start before me and was outside practicing before I even rolled out of bed. I was disappointed, after all I was only going to be home from Junior Speedsters for so long. All the same, it gave me and my best pal Gilda a chance to hang out with my daddy.
Now many ponies think that speedsters and stunt ponies are the same thing, but that’s just not true. Mom was a stunt pony, dad was a speedster. Still, growing up I always dreamed of merging the two.
One difference was dad did everything faster… another difference was he did a lot of things wrong, but they looked right anyway. For instance cold cereal. It looked like chocolate cheerios, so I dug in even as Gilda said she thought something looked off. I then tasted charcoal. Gilda was grossed out, but after finishing dad’s surprise drink… some kind of weird soda… I spent the rest of the morning begging dad to show me how to burn cereal without burning the milk. Dad seemed embarrassed of his amazing talent, but I would not take no for an answer, I had to know!
First burn the cereal because you forgot it’s not oatmeal, then pour milk on it and hope no one notices, amazing! Daddy was so clever! I couldn’t stop celebrating and I felt so good knowing this.
Finally Gilda and I both started shooting around the house shouting “Burnt cereal, burnt cereal!” I don’t even know why we were saying it. Eventually I knocked over a trash can. I cleaned it up, but did notice a strange soda can. “Mountain Dew?” I asked. I picked up the can and flew over to daddy, who for some reason had a bowl of popcorn. “Is this a new soda-popcorn, popcorn, popcorn, popcorn, popcorn, popcorn!- What’s it for?-Can I have some?”
“Just enjoying the show. Sure, here ya go.” He let me have a little and I shot away again. And then for some reason Gilda and I ended up on the floor rough housing.
Eventually mom came back in from her routine and I practically tackled her. “Mommy, mommy, mommy!” I shouted at her as she regained her hooves. For some reason she looked at dad instead of me and gave him a raised eyebrow. I wasn’t sure what that was about, but she wasn’t paying attention to me and I wanted her to pay attention to me-for some reason. I shot away from her.
“Monster for the monsters,” dad said with a chuckled. “Popcorn?”
“We are terrible parents,” my mom replied, taking some of the food.
“Oh most definitely,” dad replied.
“Not really monster right?”
“Oh no, they’re not ready for that,” dad said. Not sure what they were talking about. I started spinning in front of the door like I was chasing my tail.
“Can we go outside?” I asked. My mom shrugged and opened the door for me. Could have gotten it myself, but whatever. I shot out. I started zipping around outside, spinning in the air and even doing back flips mid air. Gilda started cheering enthusiastically, mom and dad grinning at me. “Mom check it out!” I shot over to a cloud and pulled it in front of our house. Then I shot off and got another cloud. I zipped around the clouds several times, using my speed to mold them into one cloud and then kicked it, zipping up and over it just as it charged its lightning bolt, I then shot down under it. I was supposed to just dodge the bolt, however somehow I got hit and crashed into the cloud ground surrounding my house.
I hissed and awkwardly tried to get up, both parents and Gilda rushing to me. Finally I couldn’t keep it in and started crying out loud. Mom wrapped her forelegs around me, lightly stroking my mane. “It’s okay Dashie, I know it hurts.” She looked at dad. “Can you get the first aid kit?” Daddy left, but soon came back and started bandaging my wound “What were you trying to do sweetie? I hope that wasn’t it.”
“No… no.” I started. “It was my bucking bronco. I was supposed to dodge that bolt and have it go off behind me.” I sighed. “I did it once… must have been just and accident then. I’m just not good enough.”
“No, no, no,” mom said. “This was an accident. You just need more practice maybe, but you’re amazing. Designing stunts at your age? That sounds pretty cool.” The stroking of my mane continued as she spoke softly to me. I didn’t know why, but even though my injury still hurt, I stopped crying and calmed down.
“Sorry I got you two riled up,” dad confessed. “That Mountain Dew is pretty strong stuff.”
“Oh… is that why I’m so excited?” I asked. He nodded. “It was fun.” I said. He smiled.
“I thought so too, but I should probably be more careful,” he replied.
“Careful?” I asked. “We’re the Rainbows, we’re not careful we’re fast!” I shouted.
Mom shook her head. “No dear. We are fast, but you need to learn to be more careful than fast, otherwise stuff like this happens,” she said, pointing at my now bandaged injury. I sighed. “Ready for the show?” I nodded enthusiastically. She snatched me up and threw me on her back, Gilda gliding up behind me and having a seat too. “Hang on tight!” I wrapped my forelegs around her neck and Gilda wrapped her arms around me.
Gilda didn’t know my mom like I did and when she shot off, Gilda wasn’t holding on tight enough. Dad caught her though so it was fine.
(***)
Mom always performed right before the Wonder Bolts. Today was like so many others, me and dad cheering in the stands as she shot over head, often throwing winks and quick salutes to me and dad, Gilda responding with cheers and salutes alongside me, but I knew they were for me. I was also aware some of her fans thought she was saluting to them… no, it was hard to explain how, but I knew those salutes were for me and daddy.
Mid show she grabbed a mic. “Hey everyone, Firefly here,” she shouted to the crowd, the pegasi all around cheering loudly in response. They were so loud I could barely hear myself think, I loved it. “My little girl made this next trick. She messed up showing it too me, but I got the gist. Dashie, if I can do this, so can you!” She dropped the mic on a cloud and shot away, quickly capturing two clouds, spinning around them until they merged into one and then kicked it. She then dove around the cloud and just dodged the lightning bolt. Her body was illuminated by the blast as she struck a pose. The bolt only went off for a fraction of a second, but it made her look so awesome!
She started shouting over the crowd as everyone cheered. “Don’t forget, that’s from my kid! Dashie, the most awesome filly in all Equestria!” She then looked at my seat, as if to be sure I was okay with something. I didn’t understand why, but I cheered anyway. Seeing that, she grinned.
Another two stunts went by and then came one of mom’s signature moves, the ninety degree slap dash turn. Essentially she was supposed to shoot down towards the ground at full speed and suddenly change direction seconds before hitting the ground. She practiced this almost daily to make sure it was safe.
She shot into the air and winked at me and dad, Gilda happily caught in the wink’s cross fire. She then shot down, faster and faster. She was a blur and- my heart jumped. The second she was supposed to turn, a spotlight shot overhead… she just kept flying down.
I heard a thump. I was confused. She was supposed to turn, why didn’t she turn? Dad looked concerned. He shot up and over the crowd, me quickly following. We were in box seats so we didn’t have to go too far.
As my dad flew to my mom, my heart stopped. There she was… something was wrong. Her neck was bent, blood was pouring out and her legs were splayed out from her body. My eyes went wide. She was… she was… I shook my head. “Please no…” I said shuddering. Gilda covered my eyes. Suddenly I felt my dad grab me and fly me to the ground. I looked back to where my mom had crashed. Guard ponies started to flood around her until I could no longer see her. “Mommy!” I shouted.
Dad spoke to me gently, but with a kind of authority. “I’m sorry Dash, she’s gone,” I sobbed into his shoulder.
“I know… why?”
He stroked my mane. “I think it was the spot light… don’t… she’s just gone.”
“I… This is real isn’t it?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” He replied. I kept sobbing, eventually slamming my hooves into his shoulder, knowing he was far too strong for it to hurt him. I screamed into his fur.
(***)
Gilda was at a loss for what to do, so we sent her home, her saying how sorry she was over and over.
Back at home, I started screaming when I got inside, stomping my hooves until they hurt. Daddy just stood there next to me. Finally he laid down on the floor next to me and wrapped a wing around me, forcing me close to him. “It’s okay, be still.”
I sobbed into his fur again. “Where’s mommy?” I asked. I don’t know why I asked, I just asked over and over, like I was a machine.
Dad said “she’s gone,” a few times, until finally he stopped really answering and just said, “I’m here with you Dash, daddy is here.”
(***)
(Present day)
I’m not sure exactly how detailed I got with Scootaloo. Some of my words didn’t even register in my own ears as I told the story. Scootaloo was hugging me as the story started to wind up, but I barely even wanted to acknowledge that, this was so hard to talk about.
“That’s enough,” said the therapist finally.
I looked down at Scootaloo. I knew it, she was crying. Wasn’t it enough she had to deal with- “You want to know like that?” she asked. I cocked my head sideways. “You know what happened… but… but I guess you don’t know how it looked to me. You want to know so bad you would tell me this?” I nodded. Scootaloo closed her eyes. “You’re sure.” She looked up at me again. “Okay.”
She walked away and started.
“So… just how much of what happened do you know about? I get the feeling you were standing outside the door for a lot of what happened between me and my mom.”
“I was standing outside listening for most of it… foooor future reference, that’s kind of rude so I should tell you not to do it.”
“Then I guess you heard my questions to mom?” Scootaloo asked. I nodded. “I wasn’t trying to accuse her, not at first. At first I was just asking questions. Her answers were terrible though. Course before I even started Twilight had to almost force mom to even look at me, and I’ve never heard Twilight order someone to bow before, that was weird. When she did that I knew things were serious.”
Scootaloo looked at the ground. “I was scared of what it meant for Twilight to be that serious with mom. For a while I had been hoping that mom would come, defend herself and everything would work out. Maybe she would apologize, but Twilight, one of the most forgiving ponies I know, didn’t even seem to want to give her a chance. I look up to Twilight. She’s not often wrong.” Scootaloo gulped. “Still I hoped things would work out, so I started trying to get mom to defend herself.”
She continued. “Mom’s answers got worse and worse. I got angry. I knew Twilight had to be wrong but mom wasn’t proving it. Then something came up about my dad, that part’s a blur.” Scootaloo glared at the ground. “Then Rarity cut in. She started chewing out my mom and treating her like garbage Twilight forcing my mother to take it. I tried not to say anything, hoping that maybe Rarity’s actions would force mom to finally realize how wrong she was. It didn’t happen though. Eventually I just… I just…”
Scootaloo gave a slight whimper. “I wanted so bad to be able to make everything alright. I just wanted her to love me, to want me. I offered to forgive her if only… she… she didn’t.” Scootaloo paused and gulped. “That’s when you busted in and drove her away.” She started to sob a little. “You ever heard someone talk about their heart breaking? I never knew why that’s how they put it until then. My chest ached and it felt like something really did break in there. She just walked away…” Scootaloo began to hiss, gritting her teeth. “After all the chances I gave her in there, she just F****** WALKED AWAY!”
Scootaloo seem to crumble to the floor, laying her head on the ground, crying. I couldn’t watch any more. I rushed over and picked her up as she continued to cry into my chest. “I’m sorry,” I stared. “I don’t think any of us meant to make things worse.”
“No… it’s not that,” Scootaloo said through sobs. She pulled her head up. “Let me go?” It was hard to let go, but I set her down. “At the time I thought you guys were making things worse, but I always knew you were trying to help me.” Scootaloo sighed, standing upright. “Later, I thought back on what you did. You were all so certain, like there was no doubt in what you were doing. It helped me realize a few things. Mom really was wrong and…” Scootaloo squeezed her eyes shut hissing, grinding her teeth and eventually just holding her breath. Finally she let go. “There is no hope for her and me. I want her, but I shouldn’t. More and more every day I hate her, I’m angry at her… I-I never want to see her again!”
“Scoots maybe hating her isn’t-“ but the doctor finally spoke again.
“Actually I have to stop you there.” He said. “From what I understand, Scootaloo’s mother hurt her pretty bad. What I’m about to say I know is controversial, but I feel this is a time when it needs to be said.” This time the therapist actually sighed and looked rather vulnerable himself. “I’ve been hurt in the past as well. It isn’t conducive for me to share specifics in this situation, however the pony who did that to me I do hate. I use to love her, but actually I haven’t forgiven her.” I looked at him, not sure what to think of what I was hearing. “She hurt me deeply, enjoyed it, never asked forgiveness and walked away. To forgive her would mean accepting what she did and trying to return to a relationship of some kind with her. I will NEVER do that. Neither should Scootaloo.” Scootaloo looked at him, confusion written on her face as well. He looked her in the eyes. “Do NOT try to repair your relationship with your mother. From what I understand, she is a toxic individual and I seriously doubt you are mentally prepared to fight her poison. Do not pursue her to forgive her or to have revenge. Hate her as much as you wish. She deserves it. However, move on, think of what she did as a product of her, not of you. You didn’t do anything wrong, she was just an evil pony. Hate her.”
“But-“ I started, again, not sure what to think.
“Hate her, don’t hold a grudge, don’t try to get revenge, instead use your hate to drive you away from her and what she was. Hate what she did so much you never want to do it to others. Hate it and know you can and must be better than her. You don’t abandon your friends in need, you show love and don’t isolate yourself from those who need you. You prioritize others and not yourself. She didn’t do these things for you and that makes her less of a person. You can be better than that. Tell yourself, you WILL be better than that.” The doctor nodded. “I’m sorry, I’m pretty sure that was unprofessional, but I think it was needed. If I didn’t take that attitude with the person who hurt me, I wouldn’t be here today.” Scootaloo looked away in confusion. The doctor started to become aggressive. “When your friends need you, will you be there for them or will you be like your former mother and abandon them?”
“I don’t know…” Scootaloo said, trailing off.
“Answer me.”
“I don’t-“
“That’s not true,” he demanded. “What will you do? All emotions have a purpose, even hate.”
“I… I…” Scootaloo glared. “I WILL help them. I will NOT abandon my friends. I will NOT!” Scootaloo stamped the floor.
“Will you be like your mother?” he asked.
“No.” she said almost in a whisper.
“Will you be like her? I think you might.”
Scootaloo glared at him. “NO, I WON’T!”
“Let me hear it again.”
“I WILL NOT!”
The doctor smiled. “That’s what anger and hate are for. To drive us away from what we know is wrong. Use them for that.” He then looked at me. “It’s your job to teach her how not to be like her former mother. You are her mother now. You are to show her love, compassion, bravery, when to stay and when to leave. This is not going to be easy. Will you do it?”
“I’ll try.” I answered.
He spoke again, slowly. “Will you do it?”
I closed my eyes. I breathed deep and shouted, “YES!”
“Will you be there for her?”
“YES!”
“When it gets hard, will you stick around?”
“YES!”
The doctor sat back and thought. “A few things,” he finally said. “First, that was extremely unprofessional of me. Perhaps effective, I hope, but please don’t tell other ponies I did that.” He looked squarely at me. “Let me make something clear to you. Hatred can be used to drive you away from something, but if it’s focused on too much, it drives you right back to what you hate. I would have you encourage Scootaloo to distance herself from her mother. That’s what I would do in reference to her mother. However, in everyday life, I would focus on how to act not how NOT to act. This is very important. Too many ponies become what they hate because they focus on it too much.” He looked at Scootaloo again. “Hatred is an emotion and you can have it, however you should not focus on it. Do not focus on hating your past with your past mother. Focus on loving your current mother, and on the love I know she wants to give you.” Scootaloo timidly looked at me. I smiled.
I felt so good to see her return that smile.
The doctor started again. “I would recommend continuing to have Scootaloo come to me. I doubt that’s the end of this. However Scootaloo,” he looked at her again. “the point of visiting me will be moving on, not continuing to relive your experience. I only had you share so Rainbow Dash could understand how you’re feeling. Move on.” We both nodded. “You both feel ready to go?” he asked. Again we nodded. “Now like I said, go play. There’s a park not far from here. You didn’t break each other, you’ll see that.”
(***)
I wasn’t sure if sharing my feelings was what made me feel better as we walked away from the clinic, or the resolution that Killy forced into me. I WAS going to be a good mother. I wasn’t sure how, but I was determined to make this work, somehow. Looking at Scootaloo, she was walking with her head up, a certain confidence in her stride.
I knew where the park was that the therapist talked about and we headed straight there. Once there, we both saw Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom playing on the swings with Button Masher. Button jumped off his swing and ran over to us.
“Hey Scoots… um… sorry about what happened with you and your mom,” he said.
“My who?” Scootaloo asked. “I’m sorry this is my mom, have you met?” she pointed a hoof at me.
Apple Bloom came over. “And Violet Blaze?”
“Who?” Scootaloo asked. “Oh that creep?” She spat. “She’s not my mom. This is my mom,” she reiterated looking at me.
Oh boy, that felt so good, as well as felt like several bricks being put in a sack and hung over my shoulders. “Mom… mom… Momma Dash.”
I snapped a look at her. “What was that?” I asked.
“Momma Dash,” she started to sing.
“I’m sorry, you don’t seem to realize-“
“Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash, Momma Dash!” All four foals started to chant. I don’t know if that name really irritates me. Maybe I just like acting like it does. In any case, it was a great opportunity to launch myself at my cheeky daughter and pin her on the grass.
“What was that?” I asked, drilling my lead feathers into her sides.
Scootaloo chuckled and squealed, trying to fight my assault, but it was no use. Course that’s when her friends joined in, all three slamming into me from the right and forcing me to topple over. In almost no time I was pinned. That’s when Scootaloo started digging her feathers into my sides. I laughed out loud, partially at the sheer ridiculousness of myself being pinned by a bunch of foals.
All four foals were still really no match for me. Really I was letting them win kind of, however eventually I was able to twist around and zip out from them, snatching up Scootaloo and shooting into the sky. I climbed up into the air, her shouting at me. “Higher! Faster! Higher! Faster!” again and again, me all too happy to oblige.
I then shot down, zipping to the ground. Just before we impacted I changed direction and shot up again, the foals on the ground cheering, Scootaloo squealing with delight.
Finally I landed on a faraway hill, pinning Scootaloo again. I looked back at her friends, running up, but a good distance away. “Now where were we?” I asked, poising my feathers to attack her again. Scootaloo grinned, getting ready to do her best to fight.
“Eh em,” came Twilight’s voice. I snapped to looking at her, slightly blushing. She pointed a hoof at me. “First off, you really can be adorable sometimes Rainbow.” I avoided eye contact. “Don’t stop on account of me.” I didn’t proceed to tickle Scoots, but I still didn’t let her up.
“So what’s going on?” Scootaloo asked, lowering an eyebrow and giving a nervous smile.
“Yea um, I guess I’m always the bearer of bad news aren’t I? Lately anyway,” Twilight looked down, but then shrugged. She waited for a bit, but neither me nor Scootaloo said anything. “Guess you all don’t want to know where to meet Scootaloo’s dad tomorrow then,” Twilight moved to walk away, but I shot up and over her, holding my daughter. I shoved the filly into her face. Scootaloo suddenly grabbing Twilight in a big hug.
Twi wrapped one hoof around her. “Thanks for everything,” Scootaloo said.
Twilight smiled big herself, but had to shake her head to get herself out of a trance. "Yes um... supervised visitation Rainbow, supervised. Means you'll have to stick around. He'll meet you two at 3 tomorrow at Sugar Cube Corner."
I just felt so good. I was just feeling so happy. Never mind that black thing that just went across my vision for half a second and… I’m sure it was nothing. Probably just a shadow cast by the little yellow pegasus filly flying overhead.
I sighed. “Guess I have to ask, what’s going on with Violet?”
Twilight chuckled. “Well the evidence is stacked against her and she smarted off to Luna in night court just yesterday, so I wouldn’t be too worried about her.”
“Scoots, c’mon, we been waitn’ fer a crusade all day,” Apple Bloom said as she and the other foals came running up. Scoots looked at me with excited eyes.
“Go ahead, I’ll be along soon myself. I just want to ask Twi something.” Scootaloo took off, as did her friends with no further notice.
“I didn’t know Button was a crusader,” Twilight noted.
“I think he’s just a friend… anyway… so,” I looked at my friend. “Twi…”
“Yes?” she asked, raising a brow.
“So… about YOU being a mother some time, what do you think?”
“After watching you? Let’s just say I’m putting a pin in it and coming back to it… yea never.”
I chuckled, but still flew off to join my daughter.
I didn’t look any different though eighty years had passed. The magic of the elements had given me the same blessing it gave to Celestia and Twilight, immortality. Well… it was supposed to be a blessing I suppose.
“The last of ma’ family is gone…” AJ had said to me two years ago, coming to me hanging her head after saying her last goodbye to Apple Bloom’s grave for the day. “Well… maybe not really. Ah mean, ah have ma’ family’s grandchildren, and ah suppose it’s a privilege to still be here ta teach em’ an all… ah just… ah just wish ah could have kept her the way she was when ah first got this blessin’. Seven years old forever.”
It had actually been a few months since Bloom had passed away. Still I wrapped a wing around AJ. “Now you don’t really mean that. I mean, seven forever? Maybe ten, that was a better age,” I said, meaning to bring her some levity, but instead I got a glare.
“She’ll be gone someday to ya know!” Apple Jack shouted. “Ah just- oh… oh what have ah said… ah didn’ mean that it’s just, this hurts ya know?”
“It hurt when my daddy passed, I get it, I get it. I cried on your shoulder, you can cry on mine, it’s fine.”
I told her what she said was okay, but that’s only because I didn’t want to admit how much it stung, she felt bad enough.
I knew she was right. Scootaloo had slowed down a lot, she wasn’t eight or ten anymore, she was eighty six.
Now two years had passed and Scootaloo couldn’t leave her bed. It was Tuesday and the doctors told me they doubted she would live to see next Tuesday. They told me I had best say anything important now, as I wouldn’t have any time left later.
Today I had thought about hiding, yelling at everyone that they were wrong, that she was fine, that if I hadn’t age, how could my daughter have? How could my little filly be older than me? Multiple times I had scanned my home, waiting to see her rough housing with Apple Bloom or having her friend Lightning Strike fly her around the house. I wanted to pretend the last eighty years had never happened and I was back with the child I had rescued from neglect. I thought reaching her was hard back then… reaching a child is nothing compared to letting one go.
Finally I set out, leaving my home for the hospital. As I walked, I looked left, imagining Scootaloo running on ahead of me, so many years ago. This imagining was really a memory, one of when she and Apple Bloom were trying to race. Somehow their new friend Lightning had ruined that race by crashing into them both, which they scolded her repeatedly for, but me, I just laughed my head off at all of them.
I walked up to the front doors of the hospital, remembering how many times I had come through these doors, worried sick when Scootaloo had pulled yet another stupid stunt. It was almost funny now to think of how worried I was when she fell out of a tree for the first time breaking one or her ribs… first time under my watch anyway.
I pushed past the door and walked in. Two floors up and nine doors down, I finally came to Scootaloo’s room. I looked over my shoulder looking into the eyes of one of the nurses, a big red earth stallion. He nodded for me to continue in. I almost wish he had told me to come back later.
I walked in and there she was, Scootaloo. Her orange fur was faded, far from its vibrant color back when she was a filly. Her once purple mane was almost white. I looked down at her and she tried to give me her old cocky smile again, but even that didn’t feel right.
“Hey Scoots…” my thoughts raced. I found myself just having to voice them. “You know, no matter what, you’ll always be my little girl right?” I asked. She nodded. “I love you, I always will, not even when you finally have to leave this life, will that ever change. I love you Scootaloo.”
“I love you too mom. We sure had a fun time together didn’t we?” came her raspy reply.
“No way to convince you to do it again?” I asked, trying to joke.
She cleared her throat, but her voice still sounded… so wrong. I had gotten used to the sound over the years, but now, I longed to hear her child voice. “You have no idea how much I would like that. But my time in this world is drawing to a close and we both know it.” I closed my eyes, doing my best to hide my tears. “It’s okay Rainbow Dash… Momma Dash,” I gave her a slight grin. “Why should you bother to try not to cry, I won’t,” tears started streaming down her face.
“I… I can’t think of anything else to say. Maybe if you had kids like Apple Bloom I could promise to take care of them but… well…”
Scootaloo sighed, looking down at her stomach. “I must not have been meant to have children, that’s all in the past…. I wanted them, but it just didn’t work out I guess.”
“You should have been a mom. It’s great ya know.” She put a hoof on my muzzle.
“You always seemed to think so,” she said. “And I’m so glad I got to have a mother who actually wanted to be my mother. So Momma Dash, tell me, I know I’m going to pass away, which I can come to peace with, if you promise me one thing.”
“I don’t want you to go… if you’re not at peace with it, can you fight harder or…”
“Neither of us can stop it. Can you simply give me my last wish?”
“Anything,” I answered.
“Promise me you’ll be happy again. Promise me someone else will call you mom.”
I coughed. “I… Scootaloo I... how can I? I don’t know if I can have foals, but how can I make them with stallions who will just die so soon anyway? Stallions who are children to me themselves?”
“Who said anything about giving birth?” she asked.
“Scootaloo, I can’t do this again,” I replied. “It hurts too much to say good bye.”
“I would sugar coat it, but there’s no point, you would know I was doing it. You are going to be saying a lot of goodbye’s and they’re all going to hurt. You’ve said them before, you’ll say them again.”
“But-“
“Hush, now you listen to old Scoots young lady,” she quipped. “You will say many goodbye’s. I don’t know how long you will live, but until you go, there will always be good bye’s. I would know just like you. There was Grandpa, my daddy, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom… so many. I’ve said goodbye so many times. We all have to say it if we live long enough.”
I started to sob. “But not this one, I can’t say this goodbye again… I just can’t.”
She petted my mane. “Hush mother, there’s something you’ve been robbed of besides death. Age. With age comes a calming of the mind, one yours will never experience. You get to contemplate things in ways you never could when you were younger. As my world slowed down, I realized something. The goodbye’s hurt, but life isn’t about those. It’s about the hellos. Just like what my next life will be, me waiting however long it take to say hello to you again.”
“I can’t…”
“Sssshhh,” she hushed me again. “I’ll be saying hello to daddy, grandpa… I’ll be running in the fields with Apple Bloom again, and if the fates are kind, I’ll finally be able to fly beside my friend Lightning Strike. Do you remember how she was when her brother Dusk passed away? She was so quiet. She’ll be back to her hyper self again and her brother will be by her side again. I’ll fly through the clouds with her. I’ll say hello to those two in a world where they no longer have to fear being separated ever again.”
“How can you be sure that’s true? You can’t, it’s impossible to know,” even as I said it, I hoped dearly she had an answer that would assure me she was right.
“I know. It has to be true. If it’s not, then it won’t matter, but I hope for it so much, my heart won’t listen to anything else. I know it is true. I will be with them again. But when I’m having fun with my friends again, I just know it won’t be as good as it can be, if I know you’re back here pining for me like Lightning did for her brother. Promise me, don’t forget me, but be happy again. I know this is what you love, being a mother… I guess you could try joining the Wonder Bolts again.”
“Oh please, those kids couldn’t dream of keeping up with me, by this point it would just be embarrassing.”
“So other than your friends, everyone will be children to you anyway. You may as well have some of your own again.”
“Scootaloo, you can’t ask me to replace you, I just can’t.” I looked away. This was so frustrating. I wanted to do whatever she said, she was dying for crying out loud, how could I say “no” to anything? But this? Well…
“Oh please, replace me? I was just too awesome for that and you know it. Did we ever really replace Tank? How about your falcon Speedy, or your eagle Sky Eye? Did any of them lose their place in your heart?”
“No, but they never took up as much room in there as you did squirt.”
“You won’t run out of room, I know it. You can’t, that’s not how hearts work. I won’t take no for an answer mom. Rainbow Dash, promise me, I will not be the last pony to call you mom, not the last to make you so happy.” I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. “Mom?”
I choked out my reply. “I… I promise. I’ll be happy again, for you… someday.”
“That day better be soon,” she said with a smile. “Remember, my own happiness in the next life is riding on this. When I’m running with my friends again, I had better look down and see you watching another foal run with it’s friends. I know how happy that will make you. You can take your time, but it better not be forever.”
(***)
I wanted so much for those next few days to draw out, for the doctors to be wrong, but they didn’t and they weren’t. When my five fellow element bearers showed up at my door three days later, Apple Jack holding her hat in her mouth, I knew before they said anything why they were there. Scootaloo was gone.
I broke down, crying and yelling my daughter’s name. AJ laid down next to me and just stayed there until I got up, knowing I needed that.
Apple Jack had set aside a large track of land for the families of her close friends in the graveyard of her family. Watching Scootaloo be buried next to her father and near her friends Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom was the hardest thing I had ever done, compared to that, I would gladly break my wing a dozen times and face a hundred more villains.
I sat there staring at her grave, whishing I knew some words or act that could bring her back.
Pinkie was the first to walk away, she was never very good knowing what to do at times like that. “I’m gonna… I don’t know. There’s a lot of kids at the clinic who will miss me if I don’t show up, and also the Cakes Shop won’t run itself… I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, go ahead,” I said.
Fluttershy left next, her animals needed her.
Rarity was next, she didn’t want to leave, but I told her it was fine, her business employed so many and fed so many, even those who didn’t work for her, she was needed to run it. She kissed the grave of Sweetie Belle and dusted off the head stones for her parents, and then finally walked away.
“Rainbow… my foals need me back at home.” Oh yes, Twilight had adopted, like that could be a surprise to anyone. A long time after I adopted Scootaloo obviously, if they were still foals, but I couldn’t begrudge her getting back to those kids. Spike watched them when she was gone, but they needed their mother, I knew that all too well. I nodded, Twilight walking away.
I looked at Apple Jack when Twilight left. “Oh no RD, you know how this goes. Just like ya did for me, an just like we both do for everyone else, ah don’t leave till you do.”
“I don’t want to leave.” I said, staring at the head stone. I looked over my shoulder. “You have your family, Twilight has hers, Rarity has her shop, Pinkie has practically the entire town and Fluttershy has all those animals… when I go home, it will be empty… I don’t want to go home. No one will need me. No one needs me anymore… I can’t believe this. I’m unnecessary.”
“Now don’t talk like that old girl.”
“But it’s true. I gave it all to her. She was my daughter, my world. You don’t know what that’s like.”
“Ah know better than ya think,” she motioned to Apple Bloom’s head stone. “She was most of ma world too. More than ah let on, but trust me, as close as you were to Scoots, that’s how close ah was to Apple Bloom.”
“But when you go home, ponies will be there, ponies who need you. What will I have? Who will need me?”
“There are many ways to be needed Rainbow.”
“But… I don’t know. I always lived for myself and her. I was nice to other ponies, but now… AJ she’s gone…” I gritted my teeth, the real question boiling to the top of mind and screaming out. “HOW CAN SHE BE GONE?!” I shouted. “How is that even possible? It doesn’t make sense. How can I still be here when she’s gone?”
Apple Jack looked over at Apple Bloom’s grave. “Ah’ve been wondering that ma’self for the last two years sugar cube.” She then looked up to her parents graves just a few feet up from us. “Actually ah’ve been wondering it for a lot longer than that.”
I looked over at the graves of my mother and father, which had been moved here back when Scootaloo was still a child. “As have I.” I looked over my shoulder. “I can’t go home to that empty house AJ. I just can’t.”
“It’s alright. Ma house is yours sugar cube. Stay as long as ya need. It’s full of my little sister’s great grandchildren. If they can’t make ya feel like yer not alone, well, ah tell ya yer hopeless. They’re always happy to see their auntie Rainbow Dash.”
I smiled slightly thinking about AJ’s great grandchildren. “I still can’t believe you make them call me that.”
(***)
Well yea, I knew I couldn’t live with Apple Jack forever, I had to get back to my house. A week went by and I finally set out, back for home.
I opened the door and I- couldn’t. I just couldn’t. It was empty. I know some ponies are fine with that, fine with living alone, and for a while I was too but now… the emptiness started choking me the second I opened that door. I slammed it shut.
“This can’t be my home,” I said finally. “It’s just walls made of wood and some memories.”
I looked right and I could swear I saw an image of Scootaloo. She was a filly again. I reached out to it, but part of my mind broke through, telling me it was just an illusion.
“You know what you’re supposed to be doing,” her voice barely whispered.
“How can I?”
The image turned its head. “Hold on Lightning, you know how hard it is to maintain these connections.”
“You’re really there? Are you really going to fly with Lightning?” I asked.
“That’s up to you to believe. You know what you’re supposed to be doing.”
“I…”
“Don’t hold me here mom. I want to be with my friends, but I need to know you’re gonna be happy.” I nodded my head. “Whatever that takes, promise me you’re gonna be happy again.”
“Okay.” Was all I could say. I blinked and she was gone.
(***)
I flew through one of the windows of the Castle of Friendship. Twilight’s youngest, Night Star, a bat pony she adopted three years back, bumped into me.
“AUNTIE RAINBOW DASH!” the five year old colt yelled, and flew up to hug me.
“Why does everyone make their kids call me that?” I asked. Still, I hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of a child’s love again. I let him fly away as I started to look for his mother. Spike, who was now twice my size, lumbered past me after Night, cautioning him against flying out the window.
“Your mom will kill me if you get hurt.”
I chuckled. “If I know mom’s you bet she will,” I said, walking away.
I found Twilight in her study, reading with two fillies, one of them struggling to sound out words. I flew in front of her. She sighed. “They kinda want to know how this one ends,” she said.
“Not like you won’t remember where you were bookworm,” I teased. “C’mon Twi, you know I can’t do this alone. You’re gonna have to keep me from getting in over my head.”
She nodded and got up. She nodded to the fillies, who groaned, but both little earth ponies still ran out of her study and off to go meet Spike and their little brother. “As I recall, this all started with you being in over your head, didn’t it?”
“Would it ever be me if it’s not rushed?”
(***)
So there I was, in an orphanage. Foals played all around me, most ignoring me, as I’m sure most of them had gotten used to adults just walking through. I noticed that most of the foals seemed to stick in pairs or in groups of three, one of the many improvements my kid’s friend Lightning Strike had initiated for orphans when she grew up, the buddy system. She and her brother went through so much in foster care, and Celestia knows if either of them would have made it without each other. After the age of two, all foals were now partnered with a “sibling” as long as they were in the system. No foal would ever again go through foster care completely alone. They could be adopted away from their siblings, but it was HIGHLY discouraged
“I told you Twi,” I finally squeaked out. “I told you this would happen if you ever took me to an orphanage. I can’t leave any of them. They all need help I’m sure. I want to help them all.
“Rainbow,” she said with the best stern voice she could generate at the moment. “Three. You can adopt three.”
“There are those movies where a rich pony adopts an entire orphanage ya know and-“
“No. I’m putting my hoof down. Three.”
I looked around for a bit, the kids continuing to ignore me. I felt almost like I was in a pet store, but I knew there was a difference. These kids had their own lives, lives that I wasn’t a part of… yet.
But three of them, how could I cho- WHAM! A little pegasus colt, looking about four, slammed into my hip. He started crying and I grabbed him up in my forelegs. He hugged me back. “I’ve decided on one.” I said. A bigger filly and colt nearly as tall as me, now stood before me, both looking up at the little colt.
“You’re not gonna take my brother away are you?” asked the filly, herself also a pegasus. “That’s already happened.”
“Twi I thought you were said you were gonna keep that buddy system going,” I grumbled.
“I know who that is Rainbow. Her brother is gone,” Twilight said back. “He died in the accident that took her parents.” A lump in my throat, I quietly gave the little colt to his sister. “I suppose I should explain this. Rainbow, you can adopt any child you want from here, but despite how Scootaloo presented it, adopting isn’t about making you happy. It’s about the child and it won’t work any other way.”
I nodded. “Nothing worth doing is easy. And then… I think I’ve learned, if it’s done only for yourself, it’s still worthless.” I looked her in the eyes. “Trust me Twi, this isn’t about my happiness really anyway.” She looked at me with confusion. “I’ll explain later.” I walked around the filly, who was now holding her brother as the older unicorn colt continued to stand over her. I put my wing over all three. “I don’t care what their past is, I’m their mother now.”
“You realize this is rushing things like crazy right? I took two months to get this process done.” Twilight asked back.
“Would it be me any other way?” I asked back.
Twilight rolled her eyes, but smiled. “I suppose not.”
(***)
That catches everyone up to me today. If you’re reading this, don’t worry, this journal continues, I’m not done telling you about the best filly ever… well one of the best two, there’s another filly in my life now remember? I just want to tell you how things are now. I’m happy, life is a struggle, but it’s worth it.
Faded Light is a four-year-old pegasus, he has a dark blue coat and black mane. The orphanage was all he ever knew before my home, he was abandoned in a dumpster when he was born. He loves to talk endlessly with what little vocabulary he has and his energy is endless. He is so much fun to be with.
First Dawn is a six-year-old pegasus, she has a white coat with a black mane. Her parents passed away in a train accident when they were on vacation with her brother on his birthday. She is very protective of Faded Light, but for now, he doesn’t seem to mind. Remembering how close Lightning was to her brother back when they were foals, I have a few clues about how to deal with those two. Otherwise she’s basically a cuddling type, nowhere near as energetic as her brother.
Finally there’s Dark Sky. He’s ten, a black unicorn with a black mane. He has marks on his body from years of abuse, including a cut under his right eye. He had been at the orphanage since he was seven, after he was rescued from his constantly drunken father. His appearance made most other foals and even some of the adults afraid of him. Only his foster siblings had ever really given him a chance. At first Dark Sky did NOT trust me and sweet Celestia was he protective of his siblings. We fought over and over, but as much as he would NOT yield I would NOT give up on him.
It’s been six months. Dark Sky trusts me a little, but not as much as I’d like. He still won’t hug me and keeps a keen eye on me whenever I rough house with his siblings. Every time I mess up and someone says “ow!” he snaps and rescues them, so sure I’m going to start beating them. I don’t know yet exactly how I’m going to change his mind, he’s in therapy, but I just know this will be an uphill struggle.
There is a ray of hope with Dark Sky however. He loves Pinkie, for some reason of everyone, he is entirely unthreatened by her. Pinkie has visited the orphanage several times to bring some cheer to them and I suspect she got a place in his heart over time. She’s tried to tell him I’m an okay pony, but he just thinks she’s naive. I try to maximize his time with her. Still, I’d be remiss not to mention he got his cutie mark a few weeks ago a shield and a kazoo. I hope I’m right when I guess what those means, because a jokester protector of Equestria would be… I don’t know, kinda fun.
Hang in there Dark Sky, if it’s the last thing I do, I will help you fix your heart too, just like Scootaloo. Who knows, maybe you and your siblings will fix mine.
I am happy Scootaloo, I’m happy when I see them playing. I’m happy when Faded Light sings his alphabet to me. I’m happy when First Dawn hugs me for no reason. I’m happy watching Dark Sky try to tell Pinkie jokes. I'm happy. I want you back so bad, but I am happy.
It’s not about the goodbye’s, it’s about the hellos.
Two pm came and off to Sugar Cube Corner I went with my new daughter. Scootaloo had brought her scooter on this trip. Yes, SCC is about fifteen minutes from my house, but we wanted to hang out a little.
Scoots hopped up on her scooter and zipped down the street at top speed. “Race me!” she shouted. Not knowing the destination of the “race” I just accepted the challenge of keeping pace with the slow filly who thought she was fast. The “race” ended and we argued about who won, because I SO won.
In the street we met Sweetie Bell and Apple Bloom. “Hey guys!” Scootaloo shouted.
“W’r’ going crusadin’ ‘n a bit,” Apple Bloom said. “W’r’ gonna try yoldilin’.”
“Just yodeling?” I asked.
“Rarity talked us out of doing it underwater,” Sweetie said.
“Sorry guys, I’m gonna go see daddy today- Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom glared at Scootaloo. AB then shook her head. She then did her best to force a smile. “New plan Sweetie,” she said slowly. She looked at me. “Wr’ comin’.”
“Lllll… o-kay” I said. I had to remember Apple Bloom wasn’t as ready to accept Purple Cloud as me last time they saw each other.
“It’s just her dad-“ Sweetie started, but the look she got from Apple Bloom could have wiped out an entire cockroach infestation all by itself. She backed away from AB. “Okay, you’re right, it’s a big deal.”
“Guys, I can deal with this,” I said. “Go ahead and crusade if you want.”
“What if you have ta fight him? Who gets Twilight r’ whatever?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Pinkie?” I asked. “I mean, we’re just going to Sugar Cube Corner, so she works there and all. She’s pretty quick Apple Bloom. Faster than you I’m pretty sure. Don’t worry about it.”
Apple Boom bit her lip. “Ah’m worryin’ and ah’m comin’.”
“If you’re gonna be mean to my daddy-“ Scootaloo started to put in, but Apple Bloom shut her down.
“It’s what he deserves! He hurt you!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“That was a long time ago!” Scootaloo said.
“Yer not bein’ realistic. He could still be bad-“
“He’s not a bad pony, he’s my daddy! I swear if you-“
“Scoots,” I stopped her. I needed to be the adult… Celestia help them all I had to be the adult. “Apple Bloom, you can come, if you promise to give Purple Cloud a chance.”
“Oh ah’ll give him a chance. A chance ta run-“ I gave her the best disapproving raised eye brow I could manage… maybe it looked authoritative? “Fine, ah’ll give em’ a chance. Don’t mean ah’ll like im’.”
(***)
A few minutes later we were in Sugar Cube Corner. I wasn’t sure what to expect to happen when I saw Purple Cloud for the first time. We entered the restaurant and even as Apple Bloom tried to stop her, Scootaloo scrambled across the floor to her father. “DADDY!” She jumped up into his chest and gave him a hug, him closing his eyes and returning it.
I smiled warmly at the two as Apple Bloom- shook with rage. Her expression eventually changed to one of concern, but I wasn’t sure which was better. Pinkie came by too and her expression- was just one of confusion.
“Hey Pinks,” I said, her jumping to hear me.
“Oh hey Dashie… um… I guess I should take everyone’s orders…” she said.
“He’s her dad,” I said.
“The one that hit her?” she whispered. I hesitantly nodded. “I want to grind him up and put his guts in-“
“Pinkie,” I interrupted. “She’ll hear you.”
“I don’t understand why we should work with him at all. You adopted her, you’re the mom now.”
“Didn’t you love your dad growing up?” I asked.
“He never hit me!” she said, still trying to whisper, but Scootaloo heard that one. She plopped down on the ground, looking at us all with pleading eyes. “Guys, please give him a chance.”
Pinkie sighed. She then grinned and looked distinctly at everyone EXCEPT Purple Cloud. “What would you all like to order?” she asked.
“Raspberry pie with lemon ice cream?” asked Scootaloo. Those pies with ice cream were getting expensive, but… one more time. I nodded. I needed to stop indulging her so much…
“Ah don’t have money right now,” Apple Bloom said. Sweetie levitated some bits out of her saddle bags smiling at Apple Bloom. “Banana strawberry smoothie.”
“Raspberry shake,” Sweetie put in.
Pinkie looked at me expectantly. “Blue berry?” she asked.
“Not really hungry right now…” I said. She looked at me with a surprise.
“I thought your sweet tooth had a sweet tooth Rainbow,” Pinkie said.
“That would be you Pinkie,” I replied.
“Suuuure it is,” Pinkie didn’t leave.
I sighed. “Fine… got any liquorice?”
Pinkie’s eye brows lowered. “No Dashie, of course I don’t have Twilight’s favorite candy… okay normally that would be sarcasm, but she cleaned me out.” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “That filly doesn’t know how to handle the bits that come with being a princess. Oh well. Least we’ll have snacks next time we’re over. C’mon though, just liquorice?” Pinkie pulled a tray of cupcakes from-somewhere. “Blackberry…” she said, waving them in front of me. I started going weak in the knees. I needed to set a small example for my kid at least… but blackberry, they’re really good… no… but she was already eating pie, and this was Pinkie’s baking- “Just one?” Just one… who can have just one?
Ten minutes we were all seated in a booth, everyone had their treats… I had three cupcakes- don’t judge me.
Scootaloo was sitting next to her father, his wing on her shoulders. Scoots dug into her dessert, I savored my cakes, Purple Cloud had never ordered, Sweetie was taking forever with her treat, spending too much time talking, and Apple Bloom- had barely touched her melting smoothie.
“So like I was saying, daddy is pretty fast too Rainbow Dash, you should totally race him some time!” Scootaloo almost shouted, so excited by this point.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
“Beat Rainbow Dash?” asked Sweetie Belle, “You’re kidding right? I’m pretty sure Rainbow could beat Celestia in a race-“
“But that would be awesome to see!” Scootaloo threw in. “Rainbow Dash, do you think you could get Celestia or Luna to race you?”
I chuckled. “Girls I’ve never heard of Celestia bragging about her speed.”
“Just to see you beat her though?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well… a while back I would’ve said no way in heck would she “consort” like that- but I know her better now… hmmm… I could ask.”
“SWEET!” Scootaloo shouted. “Rainbow Dash-“
“MOM!” Apple Bloom shouted. “For crying out loud, she’s your mom. Why do you never call her mom!?” Scootaloo was suddenly quiet. “WELL!?”
“I… um. Why does it matter?” asked Scootaloo back. “I’m working on it-“
“No yer not!” Apple Bloom shouted back. “Yer not even catching yerself. Yer just… yer just… pretendin’. Yer pretendin’ that ya got a good dad, but he beat ya, yer pretendin’ Rainbow Dash is still yer sister an’ does that mean… in yer mind…” Apple Bloom pushed away from the table on the bench, then she crawled over Sweetie Belle out of the booth and stormed out of the restaurant.
Pinkie practically appeared in my field of vision. “Apple Bloom?” she asked. “What happened?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. I looked at the rest of the children and Purple Cloud. “This visit with Scoots’ dad is supposed to be supervised. I doubt that means I can never leave to go to the bathroom, however I don’t know how long this could take. Can you stick around for a bit? Just stay in ear shot? I gotta go see what this is all about.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Go ahead, I’ll just stay watching the counter for a bit.”
(***)
I met Apple Bloom outside. “Kiddo? Hey c’mon Bloom I-“
She looked at me in alarm. “Who’s watching them? He could be beatn’ her again an’-“
“In front of Pinkie?” I asked. “Not sure if she can fight all that well, but trust me, the whole town would know something was happening in three seconds flat.” She kept looking at me with concern written on her face. “Now what’s wrong?”
She glanced back at the restaurant, biting her lip. “Yer part of this. Ah thought… ah thought…” I moved in front of her to see her face again. “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TA SAVE HER!” she shouted. “You were supposed ta make it all better. You were supposed to get her out of all this. What ‘r’ ya doin?” Apple Bloom started panting. “But yer lettin’ her go on playin’. Playin’ like she has a good family. Her family was terrible, we’re her family now. That’s how it works right?”
“I… don’t think so Apple Bloom.”
“But you only get one family, just one, ONE! When one is gone that’s it, isn’t it?”
“Who’s family are we talking about here? I know it hurts to say this, but you can’t visit with your dad because he’s dead, Scootaloo’s is-“
“A HORRIBLE MONSTER!” she shouted over me. “They are not the same. This is NOT about ma’ parents. This is about you lettin’ her be with a pony who put her in the hospital five times.” My eyes grew at that line. “What? She’s ma friend, course ah looked into it. Ah snuck a look at some a’ Twilight’s case notes while at her castle the other day.” She looked down. “Broken bones, missin’ teeth, she couldn’t see straight- the whole time sayin’ she just fell off her scooter or whatever. He hurt her an’ then made her cover up what he did an’ she- she just wanted ta cover it up. She wanted to be with him. She still saw him as her daddy. Ah… ah have never had a daddy, that’s true, but no family is supposed to treat ya like that, no family. That’s not a family.”
“So why’d you come out here?” I asked. “You weren’t gonna fight me in there?”
“Why… ah don’t know. She loves ‘im. If ah said what ah wanted ta say about that… what she calls a daddy, she’d hate me.”
“Apple Bloom, he’s turned around,” I said. “You aren’t giving him a chance.”
“Why should ah? Well? Why?”
“Because he’s her dad.”
“No he’s not. Apple Jack says if ya hurt yer child ya don’t have the right ta call em’ yers. Ya callin’ her wrong on that?”
“Well… that’s sounds right but-“
“But what?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“He gets to be her dad again?”
I shook my head. “I suppose biologically he always will be. But to be fair, he only has supervised visitation, and I doubt he’s ever gonna get more than that. He’s never really going to be her dad again, just a glorified friend. She calls him “daddy” but-“
“Then she should just call ‘im Mr. Cloud an- an- and she should call you mom. But she calls him dad and you Rainbow Dash. It’s just so wrong. It’s like she doesn’t understand what happened.”
“Apple Bloom… maybe she doesn’t.” Apple Bloom blinked. “Imagine if you were in her hooves. A few weeks ago, she was living on her own pretty much, and now, she has a new mom, her old mom is going to prison and her dad just walked back into her life. To top it all off, she had no real control over any of it. I wouldn’t blame her if she had a little whiplash from the shock ya know?”
“He should be out of her life, out fer good. But he’s back. How am ah supposed to deal with that? Ah thought maybe ah could just watch, wait for him ta do somethin’ wrong, hope he never does but… -She loves him Rainbow! As much as she loves you, maybe even more. If he does something, she won’t say anythin’, we both know that. That’s scary. We would never know.”
“That’s why he’s being supervised. Kid, don’t you believe folks can change?”
“Maybe? Ah hope? Ah don’t know.” Apple Bloom swallowed and gritted her teeth. “So what… what am ah supposed ta do? Yer her mom now, what do… ah don’t know.”
“Just be there, just be a friend.” I said. “I don’t know. Remember what we’ve learned. Ask questions, keep your eyes open. Don’t just leave.”
“Ah… ah would never leave… ah never will… ah promise.” She looked to the side. “How long have ya’ll been standin’ there?” I looked in the same direction. Sure enough, the entire group, including Scootaloo had been watching us. Not really surprising considering the racket Apple Bloom had been making. “Scootaloo… please don’t hate me ah’m just worried like crazy an’-“ Scootaloo ran up and hugged her bow wearing friend. “How ‘r’ we supposed ta do this?” Scoots then pushed Apple Bloom away and smacked her across the face. Apple Bloom stood there stunned as Scootaloo glared daggers at her.
“I don’t know,” Scootaloo said. “Just don’t leave me. I don’t know what to do. I just know I need you.”
Apple Bloom shook her head a few times. “Ah… ah… ah’ll be right here.” She gave a slight smile. Scootaloo looked at her, then at me. Then she looked back at Purple Cloud. She then ran back to the monster that hurt her and hugged him.
If ever I have had to second guess a decision, it was right there, in that moment. Did he really deserve a second chance? Could I really chance it? How dangerous of a game was I playing here?
A lot of time passed since, some… things happened… things I’m not supposed to talk about. In light of those things, I guess I can’t think of anything I’d like to write about more than just an ordinary day. I do have those.
I woke up, a music CD from Vinyl practically pulling me from bed. It basically shook the entire room… and since Scootaloo was normally up before me anyway, I let it play, because Manowar is AWESOME! Don’t care that I don’t understand all the lyrics, or that I’m still trying to figure out how Vinyl got ahold of something from another universe-whatever.
I threw open my door and let the music take over my now rather small home. Scootaloo laughed watching me, and quickly joined in as it came to the chorus. “Brothers everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we’re warriors, warriors of the world!” We belted out the lyrics, both of our no talent voices blending together to create a kind of anti-harmony.
I had forgotten that Scootaloo had a sleep over with a few of the CMC that day. Forgotten until Lightning Strike, a small yellow pegasus filly with freckles on only one side of her face, and Dusk, a blue earth pony colt with a yellow highlight in his dark mane, and Apple Bloom shot into the room as well. Lightning started singing with us, Dusk doing a kind of loud river dance that I didn’t recognize… probably made it up on the spot. Apple Bloom just rolled her eyes and laughed at the display.
Yes, the morning was put on hold until we had all proclaimed we were warriors, and the world had better look out!
Scootaloo returned to her room to get out of her jammies, and give me a break if I say, those things are adorable on her! The other foals were already out of there PJs so Apple Bloom and Lighting shot down the stairs of my home. Dusk just walked after them at his own pace.
I decided to walk by the colt, myself not quite that awake anyway. He was moving more at my pace. “Hey little buddy,” I said. “Sleep well?” I asked. He slowly nodded his head, moving down the stairs with me. I looked down to check him, but he smiled at me, indicating he was fine. Scootaloo shot between me and the colt, turning on the stairs.
“C’mon Dusk!” Scootaloo shouted. “You can sit by me if you get down here fast enough." Dusk actually looked up to Scootaloo like she looked up to me. His eyes went wide with excitement and he shot down the stairs, me losing my only companion for moving slow.
I nodded my head, a smile coming across my lips, remembering that Apple Bloom normally cooked when she was over. It was much better than my cooking, that was for sure. I was looking forward to eggs or pancakes today… or whatever she had mind. She loved cooking.
I walked into the kitchen hearing the sound of eggs breaking and flour being poured. Apple Bloom was pretty quick, being trained by her sister, one of the best cooks in Ponyville (not sure who was better, Pinkie or AJ, but one simply did not miss out on the cooking of either one). I sat down with the excited foals. Dusk sat between Scootaloo and his sister Lightning. Lightning started pounding her silverware “Food, food, food!” she started chanting. Apple Bloom laughed at this as she continued, laughing harder when I joined in. I eventually decided to “be the adult” and tell Lightning to knock it off and be grateful someone was cooking for her, instead of hurrying her. To this, Scootaloo, Dusk and Lightning all said “thankyou Apple Bloom!” in unison.
Yea, it was a great morning. Don’t get me wrong, parenting can be tough, but there are moments that make it feel worth it. Apple Bloom stacked our plates high with what she made and we all chowed down. All except for Dusk, who never really seemed to have as much of an appetite as his sister. He ate one or two pancake and gave the rest to his sister who scarfed them down as well. Lightning hugged him for giving them to her and he smiled.
I remembered what the therapist said, and had Scootaloo do what she could to clean up the mess, along with her friends. Dusk was pretty much the only pony who didn’t have much to do. He said he wanted to help, but at six, we were kinda worried he would break things and get hurt by the hot water, besides he was much slower and smaller than the rest of us.
The colt looked disappointed that the others weren’t letting him help. He got down and slowly started to walk away from the table. I sighed watching him and decided the others could do the dishes by themselves.
I walked beside him into the living room. “Hey kiddo, I know it’s not fun being left out,” he slowly got on a couch and watched the others doing something I’m pretty sure didn’t look like fun, but still, it was the principal of the thing. “We just don’t think you’re ready to do some things. I’m worried you’ll break a dish, or get burned by the water. We don’t want to leave you out, really.” I sat down next to him. “You wanna hang out with me for a bit?” I asked. I was pretty happy this was a weekend. It looked like I would be needed. He nodded. “What do you wanna do?”
“Well…” the three girls charged into the living room, Lightning holding up a box of the game Parcheesi. I looked behind them, seeing the wet dishes just stacked on each other to the side of the sink, cleaned but still soaked.
Why? Why did I need to be so mature now? Before I would have called that good and just put them away at the end of the day. However now I had to set an example. I nodded. “Okay girls, set it up, I’ll be back. Dusk will be playing too right?”
Lightning looked at me. “Of course!” she replied. She waved for her brother to join her. Dusk got down and watched as the girls set up the game.
Well that drama was averted fast. I shrugged, put away the dishes and joined the girls- and Dusk- for a game.
(***)
The game ended and the next potential drama soon entered my home.
A knock came at the door and Scootaloo dropped the dice from her turn, she gasped happily, knowing exactly who was supposed to be coming today. I answered the door and there he was. “Here for your weekly visit?” I asked, hating to sound business like, but there was a routine to this and… I still wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing.
“I wish it could be more than visits,” Purple Cloud said back. I let him come in, keeping an eye on him.
When her father entered the home, Scootaloo bounded across the living room like I had just got her a new scooter. She jumped into his forelegs and hugged him tightly, him hugging her just as tightly. Lightning and Dusk just smiled to see this and a small grin creeped across my lips as well. It wasn’t until I saw Apple Bloom trying so hard not to watch… yea, I knew where she was coming from too. Each time he visited, I had to keep my own emotions about what he had done, in check. I had pressed for this to happen, I had to see it through. Still, if he hurt her…
“Everyone want to go flying?” he asked, putting Scootaloo down. “Maybe we can even have a bit of a race.”
“You’re kidding right?” I asked laughing. “What was your job again?”
“Landscaper.”
“Yea, that’ll help you beat me.” I looked over at Lightning Strike and Dusk. “Heck I bet you couldn’t even beat her,” I said, pointing a wing at Lightning. Suddenly several eyes were looking at me. Exactly why I had decided to single out a child in such an insulting way…
Lightning looked down for a minute, then her head bolted up. “I get to race you and Rainbow Dash?” she asked.
“No I just meant beating you would be- absolutely!” I grumbled to myself “I make her cry Vinyl will kill me- not to mention her dad.”
Scootaloo shook her head at both of them. “Love you dad, and Lightning, you can be pretty quick, but no way either of you is beating Rainbow Dash.” Lightning shot across the room and flew over Scootaloo, demonstrating her speed.
“That so?” Lightning said. Scootaloo had a cocky grin. “Loser has to eat one pound of Brussel sprouts raw?” Scootaloo nodded. “Apple Bloom, you want in on this?” Lightning said, spinning around a looking back at her.
Apple Bloom wasn’t looking at them. The spot light on her she looked up quickly. “Ah, well ah… ya’ll see, uh… sure. Ah’ll uh… bet on Lightnin’.” she slowly replied. Lightning grinned.
Scootaloo looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “You sure?” she asked.
“Uh… yea, sure.” Apple Bloom was floundering, her head obviously somewhere else. “Ah mean, in ah sprint at least.” Apple Bloom shook her head and pushed past Purple Cloud, moving toward the door. “We’re gonna go fly let’s head out.”
Lightning shot over head. “Not everyone here can fly… actually we have a split. I’ll carry Dusk, Rainbow will carry Scootaloo,” Scootaloo smiled to hear this, “And Scootaloo’s daddy can carry Apple Bloom.”
Purple Cloud smiled and approach Apple Bloom. I was about to object when well- “DON’T YA DARE TOUCH ME!” She spun around and smacked Purple Cloud’s hoof as he reached out to her. The stallion backed away. And… yep, this was happening.
Scootaloo shot between her father and her friend. She glared at her friend, “Apple Bloom I’m warning you-“
“An ah am warning you, ya’ll can tolerate him as much as ya’ll want. He better not touch me or ma’ family. In fact, Dusk, Dusk is only six, ah’ll protect him too, ya understand?”
“He’s not evil, you don’t have to protect-“ Scootaloo started.
“He hit you!” Apple Bloom shouted back. Both fillies glared at each other. “He don’t touch me, he don’t touch Dusk, got it?” Scootaloo snorted and leaned back, her wings spreading to bolt at her friend. Purple Cloud quickly put a hoof on Scootaloo’s tail.
“Whoa there fire wheels,” he said. “It’s okay, I’ll just carry you, that alright?” Scootaloo sighed, nodded and turned, slowly smiling at him.
I watched utterly lost. I had initiated these visits so I couldn’t side with Apple Bloom, but not for a minute did I not see her side of this. In fact I had almost bolted at him myself when he grabbed Scoots’ tail just there and… could I really let him have her for a flight? Finally I had to side with what I knew was the law on this matter.
“No Scoots, I can’t let him have you unsupervised, it’s the law and he agreed to it,” I said. Apple Bloom stuck up her nose, sniffing the air. Scootaloo glared at me. That… that was the first time Scootaloo had EVER been angry with me that I even remember. I was her god and I had just been de-throned.
“I want to fly with my dad- you fly with yours!” Scootaloo shouted.
“Her dad was a good daddy, he never hit her!” Apple Bloom shouted. She was right of course.
“He apologized, you all just don’t want to forgive him, I hate you two… Lightning, Dusk, daddy, let’s go-“
“I can’t be alone with you,” her father repeated.
“You can’t let them do this to us!” Scootaloo demanded. She tried to plead with him with her eyes, but he shook his head. “FINE! Dusk, Lightning, come with me!” Lightning and Dusk looked at each other. Both foals held Scootaloo on a bit of a pedestal, they followed her over Apple Bloom all the time. Confused, both foals ran after Scootaloo as she shot out of the house. Both Purple Cloud and Apple Bloom turned to follow her, but I waved them off.
“I’ll keep an eye on her… sorry Purple, can we resume your visit later?” I asked.
“Can I join you?” he asked. I shrugged. I ran out of my home and shot into the air, guiding overhead as my child shot away from the home in anger, Purple following in my wake.
I watched from the air. Scootaloo took off, running fast as she could, Lightning having to carry her earth pony brother so they could keep up.
Scootaloo stopped running in a field not far from home and started slamming her hooves into the ground in fury. Her yellow filly friend hovered overhead and dropped off her little brother. Dusk quietly watched her as she screamed. When she stopped, he put a foreleg over her shoulder. I thought she would throw him off, but she didn’t, just sighing as he tried to reassure her.
Eventually Apple Bloom caught up. There was a lot of shouting, Lightning and Dusk not at all sure what to do. Finally Scootaloo screamed “Fine! I’m out of the CMC, I’m not your friend anymore you hear me!”
“Ah’m just tryin’ ta-“
“NO! It’s over!” Scootaloo threw her CMC cape to the ground. “GO AWAY! Leave me alone. You are not my friend!” Apple Bloom jumped back, Lightning zipping back and forth between them, shouting for them to stop.
I couldn’t watch this. I flew in. “Scootaloo!” I shouted. She turned to me, tears streaming down, so much anger in her eyes. Purple stayed in the air. I couldn’t blame him, this was about him so… what exactly was he supposed to say? “I know how hard it can be to get along with your friends sometimes, but you can’t throw them away.” Apple Bloom looked at me, then back at Scootaloo.
“Ah just wanna protect ya Scoots. Ah don’t like Purple ya… ah guess you cn’ ah just… ah can’t ferget what he did.”
“He didn’t do it to you, he did it to me!” Scootaloo shouted back.
“That’s ma’ point! That’s why ah’m angry. Yer ma’ friend, no one hurts you-”
“I forgave him, you have to forgive him too, or you’re not my friend. That’s how it works.”
“Ah can’t accept im’…” Apple Bloom bit her lip, looking at Scootaloo. Scootaloo turned away from her.
Lightning flew above them shouting “NO! You can’t do this… please don’t!” She shot over to Apple Bloom. “C’mon Apple Bloom can you… I don’t know.” Apple Bloom just started walking away, crying to herself. “Apple Bloom… C’mon I…” Lightning grabbed her and flew her in front of Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom threw the small pegasus off of her when she landed. “LIGHTNING!” she shouted. Lightning held her head down, eyes pleading.
“Please…” Lightning said. Dusk joined his sister, quietly watching them too. “Look… let’s go get ice cream at Sugar Cube Corner. Or maybe you all come to Vinyl’s with me and we listen to some music.”
“Either you like her or me,” Scootaloo demanded. Lightning backed up again.
“Don’t do this you two,” Lightning begged. “C’mon Vinyl got some new music… country, you like that Apple Bloom, and a little metal like you like. C’mon, let’s go check it out…”
“Well… what does she have?” Scootaloo asked.
“How about Thousand Foot Krutch?” Lightning asked. Scootaloo smiled. I actually knew that group and they were a fave of mine too. Lightning jumped up. “Smack Down?” Scootaloo grinned and nodded. “Ever hear Masquerade?” she shook her head. She looked over at Apple Bloom, “How about Gretchen?”
Apple Bloom looked down. “Some ponies look down on me…” she quietly sang.
“But I don’t give a rip…” Lightning replied.
Apple Bloom paused. She smiled. “HELL YEA!” Lightning motioned with her head for them both to follow.
(***)
Well this was an interesting turn of events. Vinyl and I knew each other, much better after… certain events… anyway, yea, she had the music, she always does.
The three girls and one boy, hung out on the side walk, playing their music just below a volume that would cause the neighbors to complain. Vinyl was actually pretty good about respecting the laws on that issue.
Vinyl bobbed her head, smiling, watching the kids with me. I loved Thousand Foot. There was another group called Sabaton and… I kinda liked them too. Scootaloo and Lightning rocked out, Lightning shooting around the air and singing horribly along with the lyrics. Scootaloo meanwhile sang a little better, but she also was able to make up a few rather decent dance moves.
I would love to report that Scootaloo and Apple Bloom left their differences in that field but… they came for the music not each other.
Apple Bloom shook her head through the metal songs, just waiting for the country hits. Don’t know how she can stand that stuff but, it’s her choice. When the country CDs finally came out Apple Bloom attacked them, immediately going for Redneck Mare, a favorite of hers.
She quickly put it in a player. Some of the lyrics, I wasn’t sure Applejack would have liked for Apple Bloom to hear but… screw it, there was no reason she had to find out anyway. Dusk joined Apple Bloom in the midst of the speakers. He started to tap dance to the song and… it worked with the music somehow. I had actually learned about Dusk’s tap dancing talent a while ago. It was cool, but it didn’t hold my attention anymore.
I wasn’t into the music really. I leaned over to Vinyl. “Hey can I, ya know, raid your fridge a little?”
‘My stuff is on the right side,’ Vinyl wrote to me. ‘Touch my sister’s stuff and I won’t protect you when she kicks your butt.” I chuckled walking into the house.
I heard Shania playing in the background… oh goody. AJ was probably gonna kill me if Apple Bloom repeated those lyrics… I searched the fridge. Vinyl actually wasn’t on a very good budget, so I made a mental note to replace anything I took, even if I was permitted to do it. I pulled out a soda and popped the top, drinking, letting the cool liquid settle me down a little.
Sometimes when I had a minute to reflect, I would think back on how I had it before. I remembered how right about now I would have been hitting the track again. I looked at my belly… was I putting on a few pounds- naahhh- and that totally wasn’t denial.
I looked around, noticing even Vinyl had a few pieces of Wonder Bolt merchandise. I sighed. Was that dream really gone for me? I wanted to be a bolt so bad but now someone else’s dreams were more important.
I smiled. What did I have to be disappointed about? I was still the only pony alive to do a sonic rainboom in Celestia knew how long. I had also been an element of harmony bearer and beat monsters. I’d done things most ponies could only dream of and more importantly, I had rescued a little filly.
I looked out at the sky outside. It was getting closer to dinner time. Were we to eat out or would I press me luck with the Apple family? I couldn’t cook that was- what happened to the music?
I turned my head. The kids sure got quiet fast. I started to walk to the door when I heard Lightning scream. “DUSK!” Scootaloo screamed, Apple Bloom shortly joining her. I dropped the soda and shot to the door throwing it open, ready for a fight. If anything was attacking my Scootaloo and her friends-
I would have known better how to handle it if someone was. I came out and saw Dusk, the six year old colt who just a few minutes ago was dancing and showing off to Scootaloo and the others, laying completely unmoving on the ground. Lightning kept screaming at him to get up while Vinyl used her magic to pull the filly back. Apple Bloom stood there in shock.
It was a normal day… it was not going to be a normal evening.
There was no time. My wings shot open on impulse and I leaped into the air, firing off towards Ponyville general.
Once at the hospital I shot down to the doors and burst quickly through them. Everything was a blur. I explained the situation hurriedly, the doctors having to calm me down, once they understood, they started moving efficiently, pegasi preparing a stretcher and unicorns preparing equipment for when the patient was brought in. When the pegasi were ready I shot out ahead of them so they could follow.
I came back to the scene. The pegasi gently place the earth colt on their stretcher. Lightning was being held back by Vinyl, who was crying herself as the filly screamed her brother’s name over and over. Lightning had long since become horse from screaming, but the sound of her pleading still sent chills down my spine.
Apple Bloom had run into Vinyl’s house, like she were hiding from the scene, while Scootaloo laid down on the ground, forelegs over her head, covering her head and ears, trying to block out Lightning’s pleading. Scootaloo’s eyes were tightly shut.
Dusk was flown away.
I went over to Scootaloo and picked her up, watching as Vinyl hugged her small student Lightning to herself. I was as silent as the mute unicorn myself, having no idea what to say. I carried Scoots on my back as I retrieved Apple Bloom from the house.
(***)
In a few minutes I had flown Apple Bloom back home. I knocked on the door. “Hold up ya’ll,” AJ said. In a few seconds she opened the door and her eyes fell on her sobbing little sister. “Apple Bloom?” She looked at me. “Ah… what-“ as a subconscious reaction I grabbed my friend and hugged her tight. “Um… ah… it’s okay ya two… three, ah am right here… let me know what’s happenin’ when ya’ll can…”
In Apple Jack’s home, Apple Bloom had been sent to her room where Big Mac was trying to comfort her. AJ and I talked in the living room. We both held mugs of hot chocolate, having a very hard time talking at all. Finally AJ broke the silence. “So… ya think he’s still alive?”
“He was breathing,” I answered. “Just ya know, really shallow.” Scootaloo had remained with me and was sipping hot cider herself.
“How did it happen?” AJ asked.
“I don’t know,” I looked over at Scootaloo. “I wasn’t there when what happened… happened, but you were Scoots.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “I don’t know. One minute he was dancing, having fun with Apple Bloom and the next he just dropped. He crumpled like a doll to the ground, it was like he just stopped being… alive… I’ve never seen a pony do that before,” she started shaking. “Was it real?” I nodded my head and drank a little. “Dusk might be new to the crusaders, but he’s still my friend… is he gonna be okay?”
“I don’t know,” I slowly admitted.
“How was his sister doing when ya left?” AJ asked.
“Panicking.” I said simply. “We all know she has a chronic fear of being separated from him. I don’t know what this did to her, but you could hear the pain in her voice when he was taken away. She wanted to be with him but…” I bit my lip, remembering her pleading not to have her brother taken away.
“Ya think it would be a good idea to let the girls go see either of them?” AJ asked.
“Um… maybe? I mean not until the doctors say so for Dusk, but Lightning… I don’t know if there’s ANYTHING we can do for her.”
AJ nodded. “Well, ah’m gonna try still. Seems right to try to do somethin’ these are their friends after all. If she’s up to it, I’ll take Apple Bloom to Vinyl and see if there’s anything she thinks can be done. Maybe you should go to the clinic with Scootaloo and wait to see if Dusk can get visitors in a while… ah mean, his sister might not be able to make it if she’s panickin’ too bad.”
I looked over at Scootaloo. “You think you can come with me to the hospital?”
Scootaloo swallowed. “I think. At least, maybe I can talk to him when he wakes up?” A small glimmer came to her eyes. “He’s gonna wake up right?”
I so wanted to lie to her there. How hard would it have been to just say, “sure, he’ll wake up in a few hours!”? Course, I knew nothing about what was wrong and if he didn’t wake in a few hours… “I hope,” I said.
Scootaloo bit her lip. “I remember when I got bit by a timber wolf. Dusk always walked beside me whenever the Crusaders hung out until I got better. He’s called me the bravest filly alive like a hundred times… when he wakes up, I want to be there.”
(***)
I flew her to the hospital. Dusk did not wake up, apparently he had gone into a coma. The doctors said they had a diagnosis, but that was only for his family at the moment. However, friends and family could visit for the time being.
Seeing a six year old laying unconscious in a bed, like an arranged doll, just laying on his back with equipment sticking every which way out of him… I had a really hard time sitting in that hospital room. Scootaloo sat in a chair next to her friend. Through tears she smiled at him. The doctor had left us with the thought, that even if Dusk couldn’t respond, there was a pretty good chance he would hear us.
Scootaloo decided she would take that to heart. “Hey, Dusk?” she asked. “I know you can’t answer, and that’s okay, I’ll do the talking okay?” The only response was beeping machines and an artificial respirator. Scootaloo swallowed. “Maybe I can make you want to wake up sooner, who knows…”
“Hey, remember when we met?” she asked. “You were dancing in the hospital. You were awesome, and I tried so hard to copy you.” She smiled. “I’m getting better at dancing, watching you do it, and practicing when you’re around, it’s really fun. Oh and hey when you wake up, we’re gonna dance again, I promise.” She sighed.
“Look, I know how you first heard about me. In the orphanage you lived in, a bard named Trixie sang to you all stories about me and my friends. You told me she told you we went around Ponyville fighting evil villains with a combination of bravery, well intended mischief and feminine charms.” Scootaloo chuckled. “By the way, Apple Bloom still doesn’t like being called feminine. Maybe eventually you’ll learn, we’re no where near what she said… I do like that you still think I’m that brave.”
She paused for a bit. “I’m sticking around Dusk. Remember a few months ago when I got bit by a timber wolf? It hurt just to move, but I still wanted to hang out with everyone. Everyone protected me and was so helpful. You said you were worried you weren’t really doing anything, that you were a bad friend. Dusk, no matter how slow I moved, you always stayed by me… I don’t even know why, but you did. Your sister would always shoot ahead and goof off, but you just stayed with me… I’m staying with you.”
Scootaloo sighed. “I’m not as brave as you think, but… I will try to be. I don’t want to be here, seeing a friend like this, but… your sister, she’s so scared without you, I’m not sure what she’ll be able to do when you wake up, but I’ll be there for you. Don’t worry about Lightning, Apple Bloom’s got her, just wake up… please… please wake up…”
For a moment I had hope that her pleas might have reached him… but the machines just droned on, his machine aided breathing not changing. I sighed, waving my wing at Scootaloo. “Squirt, we need to go home and get some rest.”
“I’d like to be here when he wakes up, so he doesn’t think I was lying.”
“He knows you’re not lying, we’ll be back… sides if he heard what you said he can hear us now. C’mon… we can walk and talk if you need to.” I wanted to fly out of there, actually I hadn’t flown in a while today but… acing muscles or not, some things are just more important. Scootaloo got up and we started to walk home.
(***)
Home was on the horizon. A question had been nagging at me for a while. “So… you and the crusaders… you still gonna leave them?”
“Lightning, Dusk and Sweetie or Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked. “After all this, I’m sticking by Dusk’s side, you calling me a liar or something?” she gave me a slight glare.
“Of course not, I mean Apple Bloom. You basically said you wanted out of the CMC- you remember Dusk heard about you through the CMC right?”
“He heard a bunch of stories. Dusk thinks we slayed a dragon. I’m gonna be there for him, but Apple Bloom and me… she did what she did.” Well that sounded damning.
“She’s gonna be helping Lightning, and Lightning and Dusk are gonna get back together I’m pretty sure… so…”
“I’ll be nice. Lightning and Dusk were never mean to daddy, so why should I be angry at them for that anyway? I know they don’t like seeing me and Apple Bloom fight,” she grunted and looked to think for a bit. “I just won’t talk to her.”
“Can you forgive her?” I asked.
“Why? She didn’t apologize to dad, he’s the one she hit. In fact, why doesn’t that bother you anyway? You forgave him, remember? So ponies get to just hit him now? He needs to just take that?” she demanded.
“I… well… I don’t know, I understand why she did it…”
“So you want to hit him?” Scootaloo stopped walking and glared at me.
“No… I mean if I had to.”
“So you want to, you just can’t justify it? You forgave him! That meant nothing didn’t it?”
“I… he hurt you, I can’t just forget that!”
“Remember when Lightning hit Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom completely forgave her. Should I watch Apple Bloom for her hitting Lightning, because if she does…”
“She won’t, that’s different,” I said. “It’s different…”
“Daddy made a mistake, he went to jail, he stayed away, he got help, what do you want?! He hasn’t even been fighting you on how you treat him. This is ridiculous! You just hate him!”
“I love you!” I yelled back. Her words were biting, I didn’t know what to else say. She… she… wasn’t wrong.
“Is it because he’s a stallion?” Scootaloo said with a glare. “Don’t think I won’t protect Dusk from you.”
“Now don’t twist this!” I shouted at that. “This isn’t about stallions! I broke your mother’s jaw remember? I don’t treat mares any different.”
“Violet isn’t my mother remember? You are… but you don’t hurt my dad. You tell him to go or you be nice, you can’t tell him to stick around just so you can hurt him,” Scootaloo started to grind her teeth.
I wanted to tell her I was right but… I relaxed my shoulders. “Look, I don’t know Purple like you do, so looking past what he did is hard for me but… you’re right. I was the one who asked him to stay, so I really should work on my attitude towards him.”
“And Apple Bloom?”
“On her? She has every right to feel however she is going to feel, I’m sorry. And you have the right to not be her friend if you want because of that, but… is it really what you want?”
“She shouldn’t feel that way!”
“Feelings aren’t right or wrong really kiddo. I guess Apple Bloom was being rude, but she’s made her feelings known before… guess we kinda forced a confrontation without thinking about it. We can ask her to be polite, but saying she had to let someone she doesn’t like hold her, is a bit far.”
Scootaloo sighed. “I guess you’re right… still she wan’t giving him a chance even before that.”
I nodded my head. “And while I’m obligated to give him a chance, she’s not.”
Scootaloo nodded. “And if she’s gonna treat my dad that way, I don’t have to stay her friend right?”
“Scoots, you don’t HAVE to be anyone’s friend. I understand why you’re angry but… you can’t demand other ponies feel the same way you do. You can’t even demand they understand how you feel.”
“So… should I be her friend or not?”
“You decide that. I can say this much. Lightning and Dusk want you two to get along. You’re right, I should start taking a stand on things like this. I can’t let someone treat someone else badly. I should have stood up to Apple Bloom… really I should have stood up to you, I knew how she felt.” I swallowed. “Be nice to Apple Bloom around them or I won’t let you around Lightning and Dusk either.” Scootaloo’s ears drooped.
“You’re making me be her friend?”
“No, but be nice. Can you do that for your other friends?” Scootaloo bit her lip, but nodded. I walked over a put a wing over her. “Hey, it’s not just cause I said so okay?”
“I get it.”
We walked the rest of the way home together.
(***)
Sleeping that night was hard. The image of Blue laying on the pavement like that was haunting me. And, so help me, as much as I knew I had no say in Scootaloo’s relationships, I so wanted her and Apple Bloom back together. Apple Bloom had been so important to Scoots for so long. Was there anything I could do?
I finally slept.
(***)
The next day I took Scootaloo to the hospital again. We entered Dusk’s room and both our jaws dropped.
Scootaloo raced into the room, jumping up beside Sweetie, who was apparently there also. Dusk was awake.
“Get Well Soon” balloons were all over when Scoots and I entered Dusk’s room. There was even a giant card on one of the tables from Pinkie, promising that if he woke up, she would make him a huge cake… ponies ask why I moved to Ponyville instead of staying in Cloudsdale- why do you think?
Scootaloo scurried in, seeing Dusk awake. Sweetie was sitting on his bed side, letting him hold her hoof. It was heart wrenching to look at, but boy did I prefer it to what I was looking at earlier in this room. Scootaloo looked over the side of the bed. “You’re awake, how you feeling? Can you get up? What have the doctors been saying? Are you hurt?” Scootaloo had a flurry of questions. Dusk was going cross eyed not knowing how to respond to any of it. I waved at her to slow down. “Sorry… are you feeling better?”
Dusk looked down at himself. “I wasn’t feeling bad. I woke up here… I don’t remember falling asleep here. Last thing I remember I was dancing.”
“Are you hurt?” Scootaloo asked.
“I don’t feel hurt,” Dusk tried to get up, but he just slumped back down. “Why can’t I get up…” The door to the room opened and in burst Lightning.
“DUSK!” she screamed. She shot over to him, tears streaming out of her eyes. She hugged him tight, so tight she looked like she could hurt him. Vinyl’s magic enveloped her and slowly forced her to let go. Vinyl held the filly in her magic as she entered the room. Lightning whined to herself as she was held in place. Finally Apple Bloom walked in after them. Vinyl levitated Lightning down to Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom grabbed her friend and held her from zipping to her brother again, Lightning continuing to give a low wine that kinda forced me to start feeling more pity for her than her bed ridden brother. Her fear was palpable.
Dusk forced himself up against the back of the bed so he could look down at his sister. He tried his best to give her a smile. Lightning didn’t stop whining.
Finally Vinyl cast a spell, placing two strange glowing balls of light in each of the scared filly’s ears. She then put on headphones and turned on a cd player. I figured Vinyl had done a sound sharing spell. The CD case said Lindsey Sterling, an artist I didn’t know. Lightning started to slowly bob her head to the music and her wine faded. Lightning was still rocking back and forth, but it seemed she was doing a little better. Apple Bloom stayed with her, letting her go, but sitting next to her.
I went and sat next to Vinyl. “Hey, how are you holding up?” I asked. She looked at me, then at the floor.
She sighed writing, ‘I feel helpless.’
“Can I ask what happened? Do you know?”
She looked at me, then down at the floor, ‘How? I was paying attention, I know I was-I must have been- I’m sure I was… he was starving.’
“What?!” I asked, starting to back away. No, I couldn’t believe this. Vinyl wasn’t an abuser, “Torkuda? Maybe I was right about-“ she glared at me.
‘If you dare try to take them from him again you’re gonna be in the hospital!’ she wrote. ‘For your information, loss of appetite is a symptom of depression. We fed him, but excuse us for not knowing what amount is too little for a six year old on instinct. He was eating, we thought he was getting enough.’
“I guess now that I think about it, he never does ask for seconds… why is he depressed?”
‘Why do you think? We’re not supposed to talk about HIM. Dusk and his sister were adopted by a creep for months. He experimented on her over and over and that poor colt could only watch. When she fought back, he threaten to hurt Dusk… imagine if that was you, being used to keep a friend in torment.’
“I would have fought him, I would never have given up-“ Vinyl had raised her hoof and looked like she was barely holding herself back from knocking out my lights, “…And at his age, it all would have meant nothing from me either. I… I can’t imagine how I would have felt. I’ve been helpless,” I hung my head. “But that’s another level.”
‘Yea… what can we do? You helped Scootaloo.’
“It’s not like that came with a manual. Tell you the truth I kinda played things by ear. Scoots had problems but nothing like this. I-“ I finally felt the eyes of Scootaloo on me. I bit my lip. How could I be so negative? Scootaloo look back at her small friend.
“Lightning, he needs you, c’mon up here,” Scootaloo said. Lightning spread her wings to fly up to them, but Apple Bloom quickly grabbed her.
“She’s been scared somptin’ fierce. Ah want her ta calm down. Ah’m afraid she might hurt him or ‘rself, she’s not thinkin’ straight Scoots.”
“I get that, but I don’t think either of them are gonna calm down as long as we keep them separate. She’s worried about him and…” Scootaloo turned to Dusk. Dusk was looking at Lightning, biting his lip hard. His eyes were saying it all. He felt weak, but his urge to be with his sister, to make her not so scared…
He could barely be heard but Dusk started to whisper “Lightning… I’m gonna help her… I have to help her… I… I can’t do anything…”
Scootaloo looked at Apple Bloom with pleading eyes herself. “I’m right here Apple Bloom. You trust me don’t you?”
“Course ah do,” Apple Bloom let Lightning go and Vinyl deactivated her spell. The pegasus filly shot into the air and over to her brother. Scootaloo intercepted her and slowly pulled her down to the side of her brother. Apple Bloom walked over and sat beside Scootaloo. Lightning put her hoof on Dusk’s, visibly calming down. Dusk looked down, closing his eyes like he was about to cry.
Lightning flew over him and landed on the other side from the other girls. She laid down on her stomach looking at her brother. She held her position, shaking, Dusk looking away from her.
Apple Bloom shook her head, sighing. “Ah never been through someptn’ like what they’re goin’ through. Neither of us have… probably nothin’ we cn’ do… just watch ah guess.”
Scoots shook her head. “That doesn’t matter. You don’t have to know what it’s like to be like someone else. You just remember what you needed when you were hurting.” Scootaloo looked at me, “Isn’t that right?” I was surprised, but I nodded. “And it’s not about just watching, it’s about helping them find solutions by paying attention, watching how they act… for instance, Dusk, I know you can’t get up right now, but can you put a hoof on Lightning?” Dusk slowly reached up and put his hoof on Lightning’s foreleg. Just like that, Lightning stopped shaking. “You’re not useless Dusk. She needs you.”
“But I can’t… I can’t do… anything,” Dusk said back.
“That’s not true. What you can do might not feel like much, but it does matter,” Scootaloo looked at Vinyl. “You write a lot, do you read a lot too?”
Vinyl raised an eye brow. ‘For the record, writing is just how I talk, but I have a few books on me if that’s what you’re thinking.’
“Any Lightning or Dusk might like?”
Vinyl pulled a small chapter book out of her saddle bags. ‘Maybe this… I don’t think either of them are good at reading. Not much formal schooling.’ Apple Bloom came over to her and held up her hooves for the book. Vinyl shrugged and gave it to her, Apple Bloom returning.
Scootaloo opened the book and set it in front of Dusk and his sister, “Here. Dusk, you read to your sister,” I looked at Scootaloo confused, but she ignored me. “I’ll help with the big words. We’ll calm her down together okay? When they come in with food you eat, gotta keep up your strength so you can keep reading right?” Dusk nodded.
Vinyl and I watched as the group reading started. Lightning started to smile, moving closer to her brother as he read. Apple Bloom came in closer helping with a few of the big words Scootaloo didn’t know either. Vinyl blinked. ‘Um, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom… weren’t those two fighting?’
“Guess they found a reason to stop. Wish all problems were that easy to solve…”
‘Easy? You… speak for yourself kiddo, you didn’t have to watch that filly tear herself apart with worry.’
“Sorry it’s just… I think Scootaloo’s applying what she’s learned… I,” I smiled. “I’m proud.” I held my head a little higher. “I helped teach her this.”
‘I’m just scared. How am I gonna help them?’
I wrapped a wing around Vinyl. “I learned things too. Don’t worry, we’re both here for you. It’ll get better, you’ll see.”
We watched the kids for a while. Eventually we left them to themselves, going out to talk between ourselves.
(***)
Over the next few days Dusk recovered. Scootaloo kinda took a mentor role for Dusk in particular. Dusk already admired her because of some stories he heard about her in the orphanage he was raised in. She was nothing compared to what he had been told, a heroic filly who stood up to dragons… well, maybe she was.
Over the next few days Scootaloo had me take her to Dusk’s home with his father Torkuda several times. She talked to the five story dragon regularly soon enough. At first she was a little unsteady but she got over it.
And then, willingly facing problems with someone else, especially ones on Dusk’s level… yea his sister and him were literally mentally ill. At times they were fun to be with, but Lightning was paranoid as you could get about her brother and Dusk had all kinds of self-worth problems that even affected him physically. I don’t think my brave little filly even understood what was wrong half the time. Dusk would go behind a wall and Lightning would panic, and Dusk had to be told to eat, his food being purposefully measured out.
What’s worse, it was pretty certain the two of them would never fully recover from what happened to them when they were abused…
Come to think of it, to be honest, one night I laid there not able to sleep thinking about Scootaloo’s situation in terms of Lightning and Dusk. Would Scootaloo’s issues with her father ever really be resolved? Would my little girl ever really be able to see me fully as her mother? Would she always have trouble confiding in me? If these things were permanent, could I handle that?
I was afraid of Purple Cloud, not physically, but what he represented scared the heck out of me. Scootaloo’s problems often felt bigger than anything I had ever faced… they were my dragons.
Could I be as brave as my little girl? Dusk often called her the “bravest filly alive”… could I be just as brave?
I was sure of one thing as I rolled over. I had done pretty good. If my little girl was able to help someone else, I must have done something right. I slept, no longer feeling worried about her, I was proud.
