Epilogue
~One week after the party~
"No no, follow my hoof."
Twilight and Rainbow sat under a blanket beneath the night sky. The unicorn traced her hoof through the air along an imaginary line. "See? You can spot the Starswirl constellation if you just follow the curved line."
Rainbow squinted. "I think see it. Wow, you know right where all of these things are, don't you?"
"I've always loved looking at the stars. When you and Pinkie left I... I had quite a lot of time on my hooves," Twilight said as the memory of those terrible weeks came back to her.
"I'm... I’m sorry, Twilight. I just couldn't think of anything else to do and with Pinkie egging me o-"
A soft hoof on Rainbow's own silenced her.
"It's okay, Rainbow. I was lying to myself anyway. I just kept telling myself it couldn't happen. I couldn't have a life outside of my responsibilities. It took the help of a lot of good friends to see that the only thing stopping me from having more was... well, me. Besides, Ponyville was boring without you two."
Rainbow smiled. "Glad to see somepony would notice if I left."
Twilight returned a smirk of her own. "Now you're just fishing for sympathy."
Both ponies remained silent for a few moments while the creatures of the night sang their songs.
"It's a bit cold tonight," Rainbow noted.
"Don't tell me you can't handle a little chilly weather," Twilight teased.
"Hah! I've flown through blizzards colder than this. 'I'm just making sure you're not cold, egghead."
"In that case..."
Twilight smiled and turned pulling the blanket off of Rainbow and leaving her completely exposed.
"Hey! Don't hog all the blanket!" Rainbow complained as she pulled her half back.
"I thought you weren't cold," Twilight said playfully.
"I'm... I'm not! I just feel weird without a blanket."
"Sure, if you say so," Twilight smirked.
Silence fell over the pair as they stared into the sky.
"So, when did you first realize that you ummm… ya know?" Twilight asked.
“No, I don’t. I think you need to say it,” Rainbow teased.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “When did you start thinking you might be able to see me as more than… well… just friends?”
Rainbow hummed. "Let's see.... I guess it was Ponyville’s first Winter Wrap Up with you. Year after year, we tried doing it all with our bare hooves, and year after year we screwed it up somehow. You've got this thing about you that just brings out the best in other ponies. If I have to listen to anypony's orders, I'd rather it be yours."
Twilight smiled. "You mean like the fire?"
"Yeah, exactly. Except for that whole getting hit in the head thing. That was dumb."
More silence followed.
"What about you?" Rainbow asked.
"What about me?"
Rainbow sighed. "When did you first think about me as more than just another pony."
"I guess it would be the first time we met," Twilight admitted. "I'd seen lots of weather ponies while in Canterlot, but none of them could touch your speed in the sky."
"It was pretty awesome." Rainbow grinned.
"And that! That aggravating confidence. The worst part is, you have every right to brag with your speed and skill... it just doesn't make it less annoying."
"Hey Twilight?"
She turned to look Rainbow in the eyes. "Yeah?"
"Be quiet. You're ruining the view."
A smug smile crawled across Twilight's face. "Why don't you make me?"
Rainbow's lips connected with Twilight's into a deep, passionate kiss. This was new to the unicorn; her friend was being precise this time, almost tentative. It was as if she was trying to express everything she felt in a way words couldn’t. The unicorn’s breath became shallow, and sparks began fizzing in her head. All rational thought disappeared as Rainbow worked her tongue into the unicorn’s mouth, teasing Twilight’s own briefly before pulling it back.
She did this, intermittently throughout the kiss, before pulling back, but not fully enough for Twilight not to feel the pegasus’s breath of release bloom over her lips. She opened her eyes and saw Rainbow, as close as she could ever imagine the pegasus to ever be, her eyes closed in peace. She seemed to be taking in every sensation Twilight was feeling, allowing them to swim over her entire body. Her wings were spread, a clear sign to Twilight of her own feelings. Before Twilight could reach back up for another kiss, Dash leaned back down, softly kissing Twilight again, this time on the cheek. The pegasus’s lips lingered there for a moment though, before she pulled away.
And then there was just silence, the only sound being of the couples breaths in the nights air.
“You know,” Twilight said, cutting the silence, “that was a lot better than the last time you tried that.” A hot blush still spread upon her face.
Rainbow grinned. “You know, I can be romantic when I want to…”
“I know… and I really like it when you are,” Twilight whispered back.
Twilight pulled back and rested her head on Rainbow's side. She looked up into the night sky at the bright stars shining down on them between the sparse clouds.
"It's almost a perfect night out tonight," Twilight remarked.
Twilight's face nearly hit the ground as her pillow/special somepony took off in a flash. Almost ten seconds passed before the pegasus landed and scooted back under the blanket.
"How about now?"
Twilight looked up again. Not a single cloud remained between them and the heavenly stars above. She leaned in closer and placed her hoof on Rainbow's.
"Now, It's perfect."
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.... And i just got my "new chapters" list to 0...
Ah well. Back to work!
3209934
Good luck. I just dropped more than 40K words.
Seriously though, thanks having me on your list. People like you are the only reason I could push through.
3209972
I know.
I'll probably end up waiting until after work to read the whole thing through in one go. All I really remember is the restaurant scene. Thanks for sticking with this for so long!
Cute story, very enjoyable.
Well, even if it did piss me off with the whole "make the other jealous" thing.
And then proceeded to "no consequences, because Love".
Meh, what do i know? All of my crushes were onesided. I barely grasp the magic of friendship, so what do I know about the Magic of love?
AAAAnyway, it was good, had some nice humor, and Twilight seemed spot on.
3210173
Well, who was she gonna be mad at? It wasn't exactly Dash's fault.
I was kinda worried I robbed Twilight too much of her confidence, a little too submissive.
Glad you enjoyed though!
huh just found this story,it seems very interesting will give it a read. .
3210358
Wait?! when? I hope i didn't miss something...
3210426
First kiss. The scene was on the cheek, but afterwards referred to as on the lips.
Overall ok. Kind of contrived at the end, which I guess is intentional, but it didn't feel remotely believable, or even particularly romantic.
Holy super updates! I must now dance to express my joy!
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb6w2s42tO1r7cusro1_400.gif
3211003
Ahhh, cool. Thanks for catching that. I believe it was flavor text added later for characterization.
It is a little contrived, mostly due to writer's block, but it really comes down to the last reveal that makes it seem that way. I expected that some people wouldn't like it. Right now im just glad more people do like it than don't.
3211043
wut
A year? Mercy, you got commitment, bud. Congratulations on a clean finish.
3211125
Too many people liked or favorited it to let it just die. Besides, i can't stand when a story is never finished. Your time and patience are worth the effort.
3211127
At least I finished it! I'm glad you enjoyed it! That's exactly why I pushed through and got it out.
3211150
Nah, there was a bit of flavor text where Twilight said she got kissed on the lips. Which didn't happen. I figured something might slip through after so long. I'm probably lucky it was something so minor.
3211150
Could have sworn she explicitly referred to a kiss on the lips at least once...
3209934my thing that tells me I have unread chapters is evil. It needs to zeroed, when I have no unread chapters, it says that I have 3. It freaking me out
3211559
No, no. You're right. There was a reference to her saying she got a kiss on the lips. When you mentioned it, i went in and yanked it out. It wasn't supposed to be in there, but it was added as flavor text.
3211555
That's a bit over dramatic. Her friends didn't have to force her to eat. Applejack just dropped off some food now and then and made sure she was eating well. Spike wasn't being "neglected", Twilight just avoided going and getting food necessary for full meals, and the moment he pointed it out, she got off her butt and did it. Rainbow realized it got out of hand as well, she says as much in the epilogue. It was sort of a now that they're on the tracks, it's kinda hard to get off things. In the end, a "road to hell paved with good intentions" sort of thing. What started as Pinkie wanting to help Rainbow had unexpected consequences.
In the end, Twilight got over her "can't have a life of my own" syndrome, Rainbow learned that she should cant let her past dictate her future, and Pinkie, well, she found somepony of her own.
3211855
Keep in mind that I wrote this comment as I was reading , well before "the reveal" , at the point of the story when , for all intent and purpose , Pinkie was the bad guy. I think the difference in opinion come from the fact that you knew from the start what the "lesson" would be , whereas for us it only seemed cruel.
Still , as much as my view differ from your on how to qualifie the content of the story , I have to say that you have à good writting style and a pretty good pacing , I can still appreciate that from my "alternate universe".
3211991
Oh, well yeah if you hadn't finished yet, i can see that being a problem. It would definitely come off as being bad, not pinkamena bad, but rather bad, which is why the apology was necessary. That was the point of the marriage thing. I needed to pick something so over the top that people would HAVE to be like "ok, something's up here."
Here's a question because i'm legitimately curious. Did you happen to see the AJ/PP thing coming. Bashfluff says he did, and while i don't believe i have any hints, i'd like to know if I did.
Well this was an interesting story. I like the way you write but the whole 'move to another town thing' didn't really seem logical to me. The concept of 'A pairs up with C to get B jealous' usually works by rubbing the 'relationship' into B's face right? Making wedding plans seems drastic but fair enough. Moving away on the other hand, while it may force B to make a move, most times it would spell 'the end' right after they move right?
Congratulations on getting featured.
3212147
The idea was they were hoping Twilight would try to rectify with Rainbow. Unfortunately, Twilight took the "are you crazy" stance. From that point, They were hoping that Twilight would come and talk them into coming back to Ponyville. When that didn't happen, They double-downed and enlisted Lady Silver Bell's aid. Once Celestia reassured Twilight that she should have a normal life when possible, Twilight knew she had to try and get Rainbow back.
That's the rationale i thought while writing it anyway and i do agree it can be a little bit of a stretch, I think enough people here feel it was handled decently. I'm honestly just glad i didn't screw it up completely.
Thanks for your time and patience with this story, and yes, this is the first featured story ive ever gotten which is nice.
3212114
Sorry to butt in, but I just wanted to say I enjoyed the twist and "relationship" between Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. It was a wild roller coaster ride of emotion. The two getting together which was believable but heartbreaking. As soon as they announced they were getting married and were moving away it was clear something was up with those two. I loved the fight scene because it brought me back to believing they were together for real but alas, happy ending all around.
It seems like an extreme plan but the whole story you foreshadowed that Twilight was going to hold the relationship back unless she did some major introspection and got through the issues she had with her role in life. For fuck's sake Rainbow Dash her girlfriend saved her life from the forest fire and all Twilight had to say was they were "good friends?" It was pretty clear some sort of extreme solution was needed if the two were going to end up together.
Their friends were never supportive of the relationship. They just didn't mouth off at them and risk ruining their friendship. Applejack even says “If there’s anypony I know, it’s Rainbow Dash. She might think she likes Pinkie right now, but lemme tell ya, ain’t no way in Tartarus they can live the rest of their lives together. That pink puffball will have Dash climbing the walls three weeks in."
I saw no hints about a relationship between Applejack and Pinkie Pie. I felt their ending was just a way to wrap up the loose ends in the story by showing the they have both gotten over their feelings for Rainbow Dash and are ready to move on.
The only criticism I want to give for this story is that I feel like Rainbow Dash and Twilight should have hashed it out a bit more at the end. Rainbow Dash's method for getting Twilight back WAS extreme. There had to have been more residual feelings and conflicts going on after it and I feel like the solution was a bit too much like "every thing was ok because they were in love." For a story with such complexity, it feels a bit too one-dimensional. This is a MINOR thing and I am sure others could argue I am wrong.
Overall really great story. Thank you for finishing it!
3211591
It's actually the story writer's fault. and maybe Knighty's fault, because everything on Fimfic is his fault.
The site probably got confused somewhere between published chapters, and unpublished chapters that the author is working on. Some people are crazy and write directly into fimfic's submission form. silly people.
I liked this story up until Pinkie came into play. Then my opinions watered down to neutral.
When she stepped in, my thoughts were, "That is so extreme that there is no way this isn't a ploy."
The execution and justification was well enough, but I felt that the fallout didn't reflect the extremity of the ploy.
Pinkie didn't seem sorry enough in front of Twilight that she had to be a dick in order to make her happy.
It probably wasn't your intention, but that struck me as 'cocky bastard who was absolutely confident her plan wouldn't eventually fail in any way'.
When Pinkie was sad between the ploy till the end, it was ambiguous to me whether she was sad for the reason that she was hanging around Dash without romantic inclinations, that she was aware of being a dick, or that Twilight is taking way too long to make a move.
One thing I felt was really missing from the story would be a callback to 'Two Weeks' at the end.
3212584
Well, you did EXACTLY what i thought you would and didn't tackle the rebuttals i gave you and instead, went after me personally, again, enjoy your block troll.
3212509>>3213054
Both of you really point out the second biggest shortcoming in the story. Repercussions... as in there aren't any really. The only justifications I can give for that are:
A. It was Pinkie's idea, so holding it over Rainbow wouldn't exactly be right.
B. Pinkie had good intentions in doing this whole mess, even if it didn't turn out quite like she expected.
C. By facing this whole mess, Twilight finally confronted her fear and realized she could have a life outside her responsibilities.
Without sacrificing a happy ending or further increasing the length of the story, I saw no other way of tackling this shortcoming.
The other big shortcoming I feel in this story is that Fluttershy and Rarity just don't come into play enough after the initial breakup. I really feel their contributions to the story just weren't sufficient. Unfortunately, I really had no in for them.
And yeah, Pinkie is cocky in this story, but she's cocky in the show too. The only episode where she really lost her confidence like that, was Too Many Pinkie Pies. Oh, and as for Pinkie being sad, she was just acting to keep the ploy up.
Nonetheless, I hope you could enjoy some of the story at least.
3213623
Ok, that was pretty good. I've never really watched that show so it's my first time seeing it. I'd like to point out, again, that the idea was Pinkie's, and at the end, Rainbow does apologize for letting it get soooooooo far out of control.
3215763
I have GOT to find out why people aren't picking up on the fact that this was Pinkie's idea...
3209934
Hehehe, this story threw my chapters list into upwards of 1000. Now that I've finished it... Nope, still 1011 chapters of stuff that I'll probably never get around to reading.
Overall, the only thing that could even be slightly considered wrong is how the plot went near the end, and honestly I don't think it was that bad. I can see how PP and RD would come to the conclusion that using that plan was a good idea because they're, well, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. The thing that really gets me though is that there seems to have been no consequence whatsoever except for a joking bop on the head. That should've been a you're-going-to-let-me-decide-what-we-do-on-dates-for-months kind of consequence for Rainbow Dash at the very least.
3215796 it was pinkies idea that rainbow went ahead with completley and utterly without stopping and thinking 'you know i think we may be just a touch overboard here'.
would pinkie have just blamed herself if twilight had comitted sucide instead? she was getting close to doing that too. there fortunate celestia showed up at all or else they would have found there scheme gone terribly wrong.
3216040
Thank you so much for noticing that. I put that in there hoping someone would pick up on it.
I'm still waiting for someone to get the crystal ball thing though.
3216228
I must have done some bad communication there. Twilight wasn't close to being suicidal, just depressed. One thing i've learned thus far, if several people mention something, then it's not being communicated correctly. I'll read over it and think about what to do, because yeah, she was never close to being suicidal. She just started hiding in her studies. I do apologize, that's definitely a shortcoming on my part and i'll see about how to fix it.
3215796
Even if it was Pinkies idea, and even if she had Twilights best interest at heart, it's still wholesale emotional manipulation. To me, this is akin to the sort of people who break up with someone just to test their partners love or intentionally do something they know the other doesn't like to provoke a response under the guise of, "I needed to know you loved me." I know this is a story and some liberties can be taken with realism, especially in the universe being worked with in this case, but every audience member has a line, that when crossed, breaks their suspension of disbelief for your story. Perhaps this is mine, but from the sounds of some other comments I'm not alone in thinking that what Pinkie did, and Rainbow went along with, was despicable. Even so far as staging the farewell party was too far to me, especially given Twilights response to the first attempt to provoke jealousy.
Not to mention that Twilight was manipulated into the relationship through peer pressure to begin with, but I overlooked that as the story had promise and was really interesting for a while.
3217547
Oh well. Can't please them all. I'll settle for 355.
Okay... I'm better now... thank you.
3218386
That's exactly why chapter 13 opens with a large font word bolded and with an interrobang.
I never use interrobangs...
I tend to lose all interest in ship fics as soon as conflict is introduced. I'm very fed up with the whole have-an-irrational-fight-but-everything-turns-out-okay formula.
Cuddles good, conflict bleh
5/10, good story
Damn, this story was epic.
Glad this was featured, like, a long time ago?
But wasn't expecting Pinkie and RD to fake that situation.
3227005
I kinda agree with you. It really started with that concept as well. Just a nice shipfic exploring two ponies in a relationship. The only problem with that is, there is no crescendo. i explored for a while some way of getting a false crescendo without a fight or something, and the only way I could do that is with an insecurity, but I've already done that twice now. (In Dirt and Diamonds Applejack develops a fear of lightining and thunder, and in Taking a Chance on Love, Pinkie is afraid to love again after a prior bad experience.) So I wasn't keen on going back to that particular well.
Unfortunately, at the United Hearts Festival, writer's block set in, so when I was finally able to get back to writing, I decided to play up the love triangle instead. In the end, it did deviate from where I originally wanted it to go, but, I got to work with key tapper (if you haven't read what is a name, you should) and learned more about grammar, pacing, and pushing myself through blocks. All in all, I'm glad I finished it, and given the response, I'm pretty happy about it.
Very well written story, it had just the right amount of conflict. Which is really easy to over do. And I'm glad it had a happy ending.