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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well yeah, when you keep dropping hints to it, stop Bluepalping us man.
Surprise is good. Hehehe wouldn't doubt that they may have a foal called surprise.
hmm...something that can only be seen from the front of the house, and could influence what Maud and Tarnished plan to do next. It's also probably immobile and hard to miss since they choose to blindfold and lock them in rather than move/hide the surprise.
I'm guessing they built them a small house near the front of the property. It would convince them to remain at home more often even though they're married, and IRL multiple families would sometimes live on the same farmland; oftentimes in separate housing.
I know it's unlikely, but I'm going to enjoy this little idea until you prove it otherwise.
Is it a new wagon?
Is it a horseless horse carriage wagon?
Is it even better than a horseless horse carriage wagon?
We simply must know.
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That was actually my own theory while Kudzu was typing. And if it is the case, it really doesn't do Igneous's glare due to Tarnish talking about Foal Making Activities any favors. Why glare at him if they basically gave them a house away from the one everypony else lives in where they could do that all they want.
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Because he's a cranky old fart that doesn't want the mental imagery of his daughter making an 'O' face.
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so ... a father?
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In other words he's a father?
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Well, yes, but I was forced to point it out. What else can I say?
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Even better. Its a rock!
The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles...
Yes, I am getting anxious about the surprise.
Blinking, his eyes opening, Tarnish looked at Marble
Not sure what you mean by this sentence. You have him blinking, which is defined by shut and open the eyes quickly followed by his eyes opening.
It seems like you broke the blinking action into two parts. Which would make it a repetitive statement.
To make it clear shouldn't it be like.
Tarnish blinked, and looked at Marble
Or
Closing his eye's for a moment, Tarnish opened them and looked at Marble
When he sees that I’m looking, he looks away, and he gets all embarrassed, and he makes this adorable face, and he’s the one, I think.”
Since this the a quot from Marble, It can be understood that she's just babbling and not thinking her sentence though. The part at the end and he’s the one, I think does not flow with the proceeding sentence.
When he sees that I’m looking, he looks away, and he gets all embarrassed, and he makes this adorable face, that makes me think that he may the one." The ending on this one flows with the sentence.
Since this is a teenager speaking, she can say things wrong all she wants.
I hope I am not being annoying giving these tips. I just thought these sentences needed to be smoothed out a little.
I feel like... I should know what the surprise is... I could read the comments, but I don't wanna Dx
One more chappie! :D
NIce work!
Pinkie's comments about the butterfly effect are a clear reference to The Cutie Remark. Although the butterfly effect isn't the only reason things went wrong as a result of Starlight's actions. The paradox she created played a role as well.
7564243 There's also an actual film called the Butterfly Effect.