A New Stall in the Square

by Night Music

Screw Ball (April Fools!)

"Everybody! Can I get your attention please?" Vinnie shouted as he stood up on the top of his hot dog vendor. Everypony looked towards the recently newest resident of Ponyville and made no noise.

"I... have lied. I lied to you all, good citizens of Ponyville. I am in fact, not from The Bronx. I am in fact from, a place a little more west than that." Vinnie paused as he saw a corndog in the crowd of ponies. He jumped from the top of his stand and opened a compartment on it and pulled out an M9 and shot the corndog out of the unicorns magic. Everypony recoiled at the loud noise. And the unicorn that was holding the corndog was none other than... Shining Armor!

"You again! What do you have against corndogs!?" Shining Armor screamed in a squeaky voice.

And to this Vinnie replied with the action of jumping back onto his stand and continuing his speech after the harrowing encounter.

"I am a spy!" Was all he said.

Everypony gasped at this, nopony knew what to do.

"A spy for the United States of America, and I was transported here to gain intelligence on the nation that you all know as Equestria." Vinnie cleared his throat.

"And the one thing I can say for certain about your nation is..."

Everypony leaned in with the intent of hearing what he was about to say.

"This place is goddamned scary!"

Everypony raised an eyebrow.

"You all eat meat! You're all horses who eat meat! But you all deny it... and don't get me started on the things around here that are only carnivore! I mean... bat ponies? Really!? What made those!?" He paused to see the reactions, some bat ponies in the crowd had hurt expressions. Others had understanding and were nodding in agreement.

"But the thing I want to really know is... where do I keep getting the hot dogs I sell?"

And with that, he turned in place on his stand, opened the hatch for the dogs and jumped in, the pitch black bottom consuming him as he fell.

---

"AAAAAAGGGHHH!" Vinnie shot upright in his bed. A cold sweat rolling down his face. He looked around as he tried to calm his breathing.

"That... was the weirdest dream... I've ever had!" He declared before lying back down and falling back asleep.

Author's Note:

You all knew! And don't you dare deny it! Anyways, April fools! You all thought this chapter was legit. No, no, it isn't.

I will start writing soon enough, don't you worry your pretty little faces.

Comments

[Totallyrandomdude]

Why does he buy them from the markets of course.

[Pegasus47]

Dammit, I really want a hotdog now...

[MrCakeandRice]

You have no idea how reading this in an overly exaggerated boston accent brings happiness to my life

[Gobeman]

6129042
but i love sexy dogs.... (/mlp/ 4chan style answer)

[Gobeman]

AHAHAHHAHA THIS IS LOL!

[an1979]

Suggestions/typos
Chapter #3

Yeah! I din't know that either until I heard it from another friend, who's a friend of Rainbow Dash.

didn't
Chapter #4

Vinnie gave a sigh of relief before two heavily armored stallions walked up to him and on of them said.

one

Who ever's out there, just come on out and we can talk this out!

Whoever's

Dark blue coat, with and ethereal mane that seemed to flow in the non-existent breeze.

Chapter #5

Everypony looked towards the recently new resident of Ponyville and made no noise.

newest resident

[LordBucket]

You all thought this chapter was legit

I somehow managed to start reading this chapter without seeing the title. So yes,there was a moment of bewilderment, there.

[Ralfil]

This whole story is very weird. Not bad by any means. It's just really odd.

[Night Music]

6129015 I started the Chapter 'Luna' and then April fools came up and I started that one and finished it. Sorry, April fools chapter isn't a canon chapter.

6130668 I'm glad you think that, I would be worried if you didn't.

6129556
6129430 I'll get right on them, thank you for pointing them out!

6129042 Different strokes for different folks I guess...

6128985 Glad you like it, I am horrible at writing in accents, that's mostly why I have Applejack talking the least in my stories... I mean, what?

[Night Music]

6131113 MUAHAHAHA!

[Valikdu]

img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081008131719/madnesscombat/images/c/ce/170px-Hot_dog_vendor.png

[Night Music]

7953747
Thanks for that, calling the stand itself the vendor was something I had always done.

[ynfiltra]

moar pls!

[DominiusTWD]

9059981
its kinda gross and tough. not exactly a cut of meat you just want to eat for enjoyment just survival. depending on where you are you could ask a local butcher to supply you a small cut so you can try but i dont recommend it

[Raine_Lionheart]

This was sooooo dumb, and I loved every sentence of it.