Oh, that's pretty cool. I can see plot's picking up too. The idea of Cheerilee complying because of the risk of being blackmailed clears some of the OOC-ness up, and drunk Sweetie-Belle is quite hilarious. The moment it got to Cheerilee drinking the non-alcoholic drink, I was all like, "Aww sheejt!"
Again though, might want to work on some more "Show, don't tell". Rather than saying that Sweetie Belle replied in a drunk tone, you could just slur her speech up a bit, and that'd be much more pleasing to the reader. Just a few things you could quickly address by "Ctrl + F"-ing.
I really don't drink much else other than there stuff.” Should be "their", instead of "there".
We could wait another week if your feeling under the weather.” Look, I think your a wonderful filly, but I’m not attracted to you.” “At least not till your older I would hope.” Three instances where you should use "you're", instead of "your". It's kind of odd when people make that mistake in reverse, but I don't think you did that.
Anyway, I liked this chapter. I'll be waiting for what happens next. If she goes into the Everfree, then let it be known that I so called it.
You're thinking of earth horses. Equestrian Horse Tribes can Vomit. It's canon. Well that and they do a lot of things that are really bad / lethal to horses on Earth. A major diet of Apples, able to eat Quinces, technically noone really knows what meat in a horses diet does and horses on earth can eat meat (and have been known to do so). But Equestrian Horse tribes canonically eat seafood (Inspiration Manifestation episode).
So yeah, an Earth Horse is in capable of vomiting. But in Equestria those ones can.
In the show, her CCG, and proper english. It's two words. Like Granny Smith, or Big McIntosh / Big Mac. Applejack is the only one word name of those 4 family members [named after the method of hard cider, Applejack which uses Freeze Fractional Distillation to make hard cider.]
That and while Apples do Bloom Applebloom isn't a word. So no, it's not a matter of opinion. It's a matter of misinformation where one person somewhere [like the only hottopic shirt in existance that did it ages ago. Or one of the many hundreds of slaughtered southern Fics] and everyone ran with the misspelling. That doesn't make it right. Apple Bloom is two words. It will always be two words, and not one.
Oh, that's pretty cool. I can see plot's picking up too. The idea of Cheerilee complying because of the risk of being blackmailed clears some of the OOC-ness up, and drunk Sweetie-Belle is quite hilarious. The moment it got to Cheerilee drinking the non-alcoholic drink, I was all like, "Aww sheejt!"
Again though, might want to work on some more "Show, don't tell". Rather than saying that Sweetie Belle replied in a drunk tone, you could just slur her speech up a bit, and that'd be much more pleasing to the reader. Just a few things you could quickly address by "Ctrl + F"-ing.
I really don't drink much else other than there stuff.”
Should be "their", instead of "there".
We could wait another week if your feeling under the weather.”
Look, I think your a wonderful filly, but I’m not attracted to you.”
“At least not till your older I would hope.”
Three instances where you should use "you're", instead of "your". It's kind of odd when people make that mistake in reverse, but I don't think you did that.
Anyway, I liked this chapter. I'll be waiting for what happens next. If she goes into the Everfree, then let it be known that I so called it.
FYI, you called Sweetie Belle "Apple Bloom" at one point...
One thing you should know is that equines cannot vomit, they are physically incapable of doing so.
Fun ride so far :)
what did cheerilee do to the waitress?
1174687 Ohhhh, alittle of this, alttile of that
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Congratulations.
I dub thee master of random factoids!
Now rise, sir CommandoDude,and...
Okay, what did I just do there?
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I'm 36 weeks late, but yes. I took care of horses once and it's true they can't vomit.
Strange really.
Ddddddd Drunken adventuressss.
Yay
capitalize
_____________
Apple Bloom
___________
584798
2007087
You're thinking of earth horses. Equestrian Horse Tribes can Vomit. It's canon. Well that and they do a lot of things that are really bad / lethal to horses on Earth. A major diet of Apples, able to eat Quinces, technically noone really knows what meat in a horses diet does and horses on earth can eat meat (and have been known to do so). But Equestrian Horse tribes canonically eat seafood (Inspiration Manifestation episode).
So yeah, an Earth Horse is in capable of vomiting. But in Equestria those ones can.
5516855
For the applebloom one, it's all a matter of opinion.
6928557
No it's not.
In the show, her CCG, and proper english. It's two words. Like Granny Smith, or Big McIntosh / Big Mac. Applejack is the only one word name of those 4 family members [named after the method of hard cider, Applejack which uses Freeze Fractional Distillation to make hard cider.]
That and while Apples do Bloom Applebloom isn't a word. So no, it's not a matter of opinion. It's a matter of misinformation where one person somewhere [like the only hottopic shirt in existance that did it ages ago. Or one of the many hundreds of slaughtered southern Fics] and everyone ran with the misspelling. That doesn't make it right. Apple Bloom is two words. It will always be two words, and not one.
Also straight is spelt strait in this. OCD overload.