Been hanging on to this fic this far. There are a number of grammatical errors that you really should get rid of, they can get quite distracting at times. For example the word "whom". Be careful with it, you use it frequently in places you shouldn't. And try to get some variation in describing speech. ".. said X in a Y tone" got old around chapter 5.
On the story on the other hand, I'm feeling reluctantly interested. As pedobear said it, "how can something so wrong feel so right?"
Oh, one more thing. I just had to loop this in the background, all the talk about minuets got to me. :3 Minuet=/=minute.
All that aside, good job. Can't write to save my life meself, so I'll just tip my hat for you. Keep it up.
well daaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn shipping the ship out of this kikikiki okay not really but loving it but the sex bits are getting in the way of the story less clop more plot.............. kikikiki jk just messing with you
Bravo! Bra-fucking-vo my good sir! I know you probably won't respond to this but that doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this fic! That is all.
ohhh I wonder what's going to happen next *jumps excitedly up and down like a jackhammer*
.....I.....there are no words for how amazing this story is.
too much for me to 'bare' Okay. I cannot bear it any longer. Seeing this is just obnoxious
Bare: to make known, to show, blah blah blah
Bear (v): to hold up, to withstand, be capable of
Unless you are talking about showing themselves or getting undressed, bear is the word you need to use.
Sorry, but it bothers me a ton. Other than a few other instances of your/you're mistakes and minor grammar, im still McDonald'sing it.
Been hanging on to this fic this far. There are a number of grammatical errors that you really should get rid of, they can get quite distracting at times. For example the word "whom". Be careful with it, you use it frequently in places you shouldn't. And try to get some variation in describing speech. ".. said X in a Y tone" got old around chapter 5.
On the story on the other hand, I'm feeling reluctantly interested. As pedobear said it, "how can something so wrong feel so right?"
Oh, one more thing. I just had to loop this in the background, all the talk about minuets got to me. :3 Minuet=/=minute.
All that aside, good job. Can't write to save my life meself, so I'll just tip my hat for you. Keep it up.
well daaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
shipping the ship out of this kikikiki okay not really but loving it but the sex bits are getting in the way of the story less clop more plot.............. kikikiki jk just messing with you
Wow... I... uh... got... quite excited reading this. Uhh... I.... WOW...
Bravo! Bra-fucking-vo my good sir! I know you probably won't respond to this but that doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this fic! That is all.
Fun times.
I smiled
sexy n sweet <3