A 24 year old aspiring fanfiction writer, cosplayer and partner of Cerulean Voice
Years have passed since the discontinuation of the apple farm that resided south-west of Ponyville, yet even after the long, slow decay of the once vibrant orchard; one pony still lingers in the wheat grass and reminiscences in the sunlight.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I helped edit, credit me?
5489495
Sure, however most people wanted to remain anonymous for some reason.
5489531
Thanks, I'm glad you thought so.
Quick note about the description as I have not read it, it should be passed* instead of past. Passed is a verb, past is a noun.
You have certainly written a wonderful story. And you have inspired me to write even more. I love just how each part of this story was expressed so nicely. Definitely will add this my favorites.
Has cute Luna avatar, I will read this. That is, unless 5489692 is iffy on the subject. However, Black Jesuz liked it. And Jesuz can't be wrong, especially since he is black.
5490691
Thanks for your consideration, I hope you enjoy it.
5490147
Thank you so much. I wasn't sure how good it was so I really appreciate your feedback.
5489692
Good to see a big-shot such as yourself considering the works of a unknown writer like me. You support is most appreciated.
Nice story! Some wonderful descriptions in there, the scene was definitely described pretty well. It would be sad if they ever had to give all that up, but at least she can look back on it and have good memories.
I did wonder at a couple details, though, such as:
I hope I don't start feeling old that soon...
Which is it?
Anyway, little nitpicks aside I enjoyed this one. For all that it made me a little sad, I enjoyed it. Then again, I believe evoking that response was kinda the point of this story.
Very nice work
Looks like you forgot a "go".
Wait, but you just said she was at the peak of her adulthood, this would mean she is at her prime. There is a reason star athletes are between the ages of 20 and 35.
Maybe "leaves" should be "blades"? As in blades of grass.
I feel this "she" should be replaced with "Applebloom". And it is spells "colors" you crazy Brit (or someone with similar English training).
"Face" was just used in the previous sentence, I suggest a synonym.
I think "tire swing" would work better.
Story mentioned Luna, instantly 21% better.
There are a lot of questions left over, but it does get the sense of nostalgia across. It is something people can relate to and so be able to sympathize with Apple Bloom.
5492818
Thanks for pointing those out for me, I'll be sure to fix up those nitpicks soon.
5491758
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
5491458
I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to read it, it makes me happy to know people liked it.
Apple Bloom is two words.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mylittleponyccg/images/8/85/CrystalGames_019.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width/300?cb=20141122070049
too many instances to point out all of misspelled Apple Blooms.
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Pick I, or Ah not both (since Ah is a strong phonetic I, and part of a natural accent when used. You can't have both. At least not grammatically.)
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Decent little one shot.
5493323
No problem, it is a little thing I do while reading. If I see one little error that trips up my reading, it cascades from there till I am pointing out everything. Example:
It would be "Institute" and "Ill".
Overall this was simply a good story that just had to be added to my favourites (so I can read it once again, which I will). I thought you delivered
well in terms of characterisation and the overall pacing was on par. Damn... is really all I can say!
-frost
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
Saw this in group. Will read later and let you know how it is
You can has review!