<---- Falco Judging your cringe
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I see many errors but much potenshail. You might need and editor or not rushing it.
Thanks
No two ways about it, this really needs the attention of a thorough editor.
The entire description is a run-on sentence, and I see at least one spacing issue at the end and a typo after it. I don't feel compelled to read this.
My advice is, go to a proofreading group (the site has tons) and try to get someone from there to beta your story.
BTW, if you want to reply to someone, there's that >> button on the top right of their comment. Clicking on it will add a tag that will notify the person when your response is posted.
You misspelled Twilight.
I had went through and fixed any errors I saw if you guys see any tell me.
Awesomeness is here
ADORBS
IT HAS HIT ME IN ZE FEELS
You do know that his Aunt Luna is the Dream Watcher of the Night?
5284158 Hehe yuuuuuup =^v^=
Captilization here and there. Spacing as well. Just double check it.
Look like something is going right for are teo friends.
Wow three hundred views so far and over thirty likes thanks a lot for taking the time out of your busy browsing to look at my story. The more views and likes I get the more that comes. Thanks and remember come for some of The homemade R3m3dy B)
Five-hundred and still climbing I'm impressed but please leave a like for me . Thanks for looking at this through your busy browsing
This is great and i mean it!
Soo firstly I am now writing my stories on gdocs, secondly I well be going back through this story and editing it myself, and third up until the story is finished I will try to space each chapter about a week to ten days apart.
Hacked by your gf I looove the story its making me get the feelzzz looove you
Bet you the first thing they'll question first was "So, how was it?"
A week to ten days? how bout you just put the knife in my heart already
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So yeah Apple Jack askedmtat question and it been in her mind for a while
I did not get notify of the update for this
5401834 Really. That's odd
hehe I like this story
oh god apple bloom in the story made me laugh way to hard
YOU Sir, have made me laugh so hard that I cryed. Your jokes are something worth reading. Very cool
I give ths chapter 5/5 mustaches
Rarity's life is now complete
m.memegen.com/bqpzgj.jpg
Sexy time between those two!
He !most his verginity and became a man
That was kinda hot.
A very small amount of character emotion here, however it is merely the first chapter. There are some grammatical errors as well like:
I think you need an 'and' in between older and taller.
Ill continue, but I'm leaning more towards stopping so far. Hopefully my mind will be changed next chapter.
5660789 Well since Applejack is your favorite pony I have a Applejack and Spike oriented story if you want to check it out
Its like they never Had the talk about the birds and the bees
5718140
Kind gives me an idea for a sequel.
Tooken...... Should be taken. Im so sorry but i needed to point it out. Lol
5760985
W-wha
I don't think spike is the one who should be sitting cockily if he just got told off.
Sequel! Sequel! Sequel!
The clop could use more (ie tit sucking, tit fucking, blow job ect.) It was good for what you had, though.
Well done.
I've reviewed this story for the Goodfic Bin, and you can find the decision here. Unfortunately, there were a great many problems I had with the beginning, both mechanically and story-wise, and I have rejected the story and removed it from our folders.
4 life
Wow... no holding back. Just said it without a care.... ๐๐๐๐