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The mane-six want to have fun at the beach along with Spike. During the water filled weekend, Dash has been acting rather... odd around Spike. Overly teasing; physically getting close to him; acting like it's nothing. Just what is Rainbow trying to tell him?
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Side note ignore the comments about grammar issues I got I fixed and will side future chapters to editors before submitting them.
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Grammar.......
Also will this include the rest of the photo sets?
Good idea, grammar needs a lot of help. I suggest either an editor or copy and paste MS word to help clean it up.
5580484 no sorry I just want this to be just SpikeDash
Though is will end like one of the M&M commercial
Good premise, but I can't say the same for the English. Can I be your editor?
5580755 yes please
Continue this. I really wanna see where this goes.
Your discreption has a few typos
Let's take a moment to look at your story description.
You see all the underlined words in red above? These are all typos, spelling errors, and other errors. Additionally, there are other punctuation errors not indicated, and most of your description is composed of run-ons and malformed sentences.
The purpose of a story description is to get people to want to read your story. If your description is this riddled with errors, people are less likely to read your story. Which, going by the comments, is in pretty much the same shape as your story description.
5582789 thanks for the tip, I do have an editor working on it and i'll do a chapter of his request.
5581978 what would you like to see?
5585263 Well for example bikini tops accidentally coming off, or one of the girls sneakily removing one of the other girls tops. Something like that.
Got an idea now
5585411
5582633 I think I got it now
5585457 yes you did as far as i can tell
5585496 the story self is being edited
5585579 Nice. I love it, keep it up.
5585579 ...You do realise you need punctuation ar the end of speach right?
"Like this," y'see? Commas for when you want to continue a sentence, "Apostrophise for the end."
"The dog went woof, I swear!"
"Well," she said with a huff, "you've been known to say the cat went moo in the past."
And well...you just need to read theough what you've written and sound it aloud, if it doesn't make sense to you, change it.
Dude...really this is poorly written I don't think it's supposed to have this many errors in it you should send this to your editor first before you post something ok?
5588527 got it
5580484
5588527
5582789
5580611
5580484 it has been edited please tell me what you think
5589125 Aww sorry not having Microsoft word really sucks.
The description I have an idea
5589146 What does Microsoft Word have to do with anything?
Much better my friend. If Microsoft word is failing you use docs. That's what I use, and trust me it works. It works on your phone or computer.
5589169 grammar check
Dyslexia really bites
But now I think I fixed the description
5589185 what about grammar
5589211 Like this fragment. “Me to.” docs would underline “to” and allow you to change it to “too”. Or if you do something like “We'll that's what she told me to.” it would change “We'll” to “Well” and of course “to” to “too” and etc. But if all else fails just request an editor. I'd be happy to help.
5589244 OK hanks
(Correct)OK thanks
5589169 thank you for your honesty
It's much cleaner and more readable now. So need any ideas for what happens next. I can see Rainbow taking the time to try to teach him how to surf in order to be close to him. Or you could go with the classic asking Spike to put sunscreen on her back.
5589955
I can put the first one together with wildcard25 idea. And of course the classic
Great job on editing! You have alot of potential nice work...
5598628 fav it
5600297 quickmeme.com/img/5a/5a594c30c37db765a820796ab96b94d3283cbd143afe0af99ba0480d6ae0f7c8.jpg
5601806 it will have to be teen rating so I'll see what I can do.
5597825 I'm starting to think that one other comment by another user was bogus. Mainly BC he said that it looked worse. Maybe he was trying to push me me to do better in the future.
I gotta say what I like most about this fic so far is how you have written rainbow dash.
5630706 wait till you see the next chapter. it's with an editor rich now and will be out soon
Loved the chapter. I can't wait till they get to the beach. Then the real fun begins.
Huh, looks like Spike feels a little something for RD. That will help as long as she doesn't go overboard with the teasing. It would either turn him off or make him snap and jump her...Though she is probably hoping for the latter.
I feel the vibes~!
5677855 up vote then
5677861 TO THE MAX!
5677871 have u read my other story Spike is screwed.
An older teen Rainbow Dash is attracted to a younger teen Spike story?
Tis begun.
AMAZING STORY! Can't wait for the update!
sup its me 941214 from DA
5714232 hi what do you think. And check out Spike is scewed