Today three friends decide to get their dungeon crawling cutie marks.
This fiction doesn't recognize anything past Season 4. It also doesn't recognize the Equestria games episodes of season 4 and takes place before Tirek.
(Optional) - If you see this at the end of a chapter title that means you don't have to read it.
(Optional?) - If you see this at the end of a chapter title it means you don't got to read it, but it is highly recommended you do.
The next arc is This is...
Ideas/Advice - FIMScourge
Chapters (16)
This story needs a LOT of work. I couldn't even get all the way through. Your writing style needs improvement and the story needs a lot of editing.
After reading this description, I have decided not to read the story. Why? The grammar, spelling, and syntax are so bad, it ruins any creativity the story may have. Either learn to write, learn to use MS Word's built in spellcheck, or get an editor. Then I might read your story.
I want to see where this goes, and I'll even help edit it. Message me if you're interested.
One year later in September, this happens. Can't wait to see what direction this story will take. :)
Here we are! Its not perfect (And nothing will ever be) but its getting there!
You have come along way, and you have done well!
The only problem that I can see is you tend to be very repetitive.
For example:
Try this:
Some aren't worded very well, and make it awkward to read.
for example:
Could be turned into:
Also, you mention 'they' we don't know who 'they' is, just that Scootaloo is there. First they should be replaced by CMC, or something along those lines.
I will try to be in contact.
6459402 Hey thanks for the comment and the help. :)
These are exactly the kind of things I need help with. I will be going over your suggestions and probable use them or a modified version thereof. Don't be afraid to point out anything else. I really do appreciate any help that could make this a better quality than I'm capable of making myself.
Another good chapter! I can't wait to read the next one. :)
So this takes place between the 23rd and 24th episodes of Season 4. Am I right?
6696820 Yeah, that sounds about right.
6696968 Thanks.
It's nice to see that this story isn't dead.
Will the Cutie Mark Crusaders be adorable in this story?
6940270 There's some moments when I defiantly tried to make it that way, whether or not I was successful would be up to you.