After returning from a trip to the market place, Fluttershy tries to feed a lonely fox.
My first little One-Shot with some experimental elements.
Reviewed by ReadingSins!
Reviewed by Blunt Reviews
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 17th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Last Monday
Nugget
"Hi! I'm Nugget, and I'm your friend to the end. Haydeeho! Ha ha ha!"
Nugget
Joined 17th Jun, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Nugget · 2.7k words · 83 5 · 1.8k views
- Durant · 3.2k words · 30 9 · 2.1k views
- Taialin · 10k words · 51 2 · 1.2k views
- Shipper_Overlord · 2.6k words · 75 15 · 1.9k views
- Pink Rocket · 2.2k words · 49 24 · 1.5k views
Featured In18
The Writers' Group56,406 stories ·9,292 members
One-Shots18,919 stories ·2,369 members
Fluttershy4,016 stories ·2,925 members
Slice of Life8,154 stories ·1,460 members
- Author Support4,371 stories ·2,069 members
- Comment/Review Trade782 stories ·125 members
Short Stories5,073 stories ·548 members
- Group of Authors who love to have fun and a good time!4,659 stories ·577 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.089 seconds
Total duration
1,044 users online
1,809,558 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
All I can say after this is... WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!
Anyway, good story. REALLY underrated.
Aww, this is cute.^^
oh good Story
4818349
4818150
4817745
Thank you all very much for those replies!
Also, WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?!
4818466 Small details:
1. Why didn't you mention the fish in the first paragraph?
2. It's shuddered, not shuttered.
3. Since she doesn't eat meat, you might have mentioned that the fish was for one of her predatory critters.
Other than that, it's well done. Thumbs up.
Aw...
That is why Fluttershy is my favorite pony, no matter what species or creature, she will always make sure that an animal and it's family is fed and cared for. 
4818466
My pleasure.
As for what the Fox says; this depends really. A Fox can produce many a different sounds, for example a sharp, high "yipp" sound when he is frightened, a bark similar to a dog´s (since they are a related species) and my personal favourite, a shout that sounds disturbingly human-like in quality.
Sorry, could not help myself there.
4818466
My pleasure.
4818584
Eeyup. Foxes make multiple sounds that sounds completely different, unlike other animals. Also, you memorised all of them?
Short, sweet, and well written. Kudos to you, good-sir.
4818783
You could say that. I live in a small countryside village with lots of lush forests all around. I have Deers, Rabbits, Hedgehogs and Foxes as literall neighbours. One morning, I left the house, heading for work and stumbled over a full grown red Fox. It was sitting on my doormat, eating a mouse. That was when I learned about the "Yipp" sound.^^
4818541 That is one of the reasons why she is my favorite as well. Her caring nature for them really connects to my passion for animals as well.*
*Although I only have a fish right now.
4818935 Thank you! The positive responses have really helped me to know the joy of writing a story that everyone is delighted to read.*
So... Thank you, again!
*Although, I am very open to constructive criticism.
4818537
1. It is mentioned.
2. Fixed... Along with some other mistakes I found.
3. It should be implied that Fluttershy doesn't eat fish, but bought them to feed her more carnivorous animals.
Thank you for the comment, though!
4821751 I'm an animal lover myself. I can never stand to see an animal hurt or hungry.
4822019 I can understand what you mean by that. In fact, my mother and I took in a baby black and white pinto that had its mother killed my coyotes. It's name is Tuff.
MOAR FOX FICS!? OH YEAH!
4822106 YEAH!!!
4822183 This song gives foxes a bad name.
This was really nice. Look forward to reading more works from you, BW.
....
4824008 Thank you. I hope I will be able to continue to please you and my readers with great stories!
Another nice little slice-of-life sort of piece. The plot was lighthearted and fun and felt like something that would have happened to Fluttershy while in the woods.
One thing I would suggest is expanding your descriptions. Because these stories are so small and the plot or themes aren't too important, you have the change here to really work with the writing, to experiment with the sound of it and bring the scene to life. For example, in your first paragraph you say "Fluttershy was happy and content with herself as she beamed a expression of delight for the peaceful nature that surrounded her." Instead of just saying how Flutters is feeling, show it to us. I know the whole "show don't tell" spiel is cliche at this point, but cliches are cliches for a reason: the work (usually). Show how the wind plays with her mane, what the forest smells like; maybe it reminds her of a fond memory? Idk just some thoughts on where to go from here.
Have a Blunt review!
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/202157/blunt-reviews-group/thread/298486/blunt-review-fox-and-the-flutter
7856733 Thank you.
Cute and soft and gentle, just like Fluttershy herself
I have reviewed this story as part of The Reviewers Cafe,
Please find the review here
8435436
I'm very sorry to have wasted your time with a review on it. In fact, I did pull it out of the Reviewer's Cafe beforehand since I knew it wasn't any good after another story failed in there.
Also, this is one of my earliest stories as well. I've grown from this and moved on, leaving this story behind.
8435989
Oh nugget! You far from wasted my time! In fact I personally enjoyed reading fox and the flutter. It was beautifully written just poorly executed. It doesn't matter it got a bad review, you only know what to do next time. You are a really good writer! There is a reason i followed you after doing that review.
It just lacked a story structure and a proper plot line, if you learn from that I would be more than happy to accept later fics, which I most certainly would'nt say to all authors.
You have to have a little more faith in yourself! And i really hope to see more content in the future.
8436014
If you read a lot of my later stories, you will see how far my writing has changed, shifted focus, and grammatically improved. Besides, this was an experimental fic, exploring details while not focusing completely on the story.
Everything you pointed put are things I've already learned, yet I still feel bitter and upset over it.
This was so adorable
That was a good story.