The Fox
The Fox and the Flutter
***
As the golden rays of the sun shone down upon a tiny tree cottage that lays on the outskirts of Ponyville, a pale pegasus named Fluttershy was returning home from her trip to the market place. Held by her mouth, a small picnic basket, with a fresh assortment of grains, fruits, fish, and carrots, for Angel Bunny, dangled and rocked to the chirruping of the birds that twirled and soared above the pegasus’s head. Singing along with the tune, Fluttershy was happy and content with herself as she beamed a expression of delight for the peaceful nature that surrounded her. That was, until a single leaf fell from a tree and touched her rump.
Dropping the basket and instantly hiding in a nearby bush, Fluttershy shaked and shuddered from her encounter with the terrifying leaf of death and destruction, of perfectly trimmed lawns that is. However, as she was getting out of the bush, a little red tailed fox hopped onto the dusty trail and into Fluttershy’s direct line of sight. Upon seeing it, Fluttershy noticed that was sniffing and sweeping the ground with it’s little head that moved side-to-side in a desperate search for something considered edible. This was followed by it looking up and noticing Fluttershy’s basket, to which she thought, Hmm… Maybe it smells the fish I have in here.
She whispered to the fox, “Hey there little buddy… Are you hungry?”
It stared at the pony.
As Fluttershy trotted over to her basket, the movement alerted the fox and made it step away from her direction. Almost instantly, Fluttershy pleaded, “Hey, don’t be alarmed there, buddy. It think I might have something for you.” She pulled out from the basket a fresh sardine.
Smelling the fresh acrid odor from the dead fish, that lays on top of Fluttershy’s hoof, the little fox raised its nose and smelled the foul aroma that encompassed its interest. Then as it lowered its snout towards the sardine, the red fox took a single step with its left paw and flattened it back, perfectly horizontal to the ground. Arching its tail, the fox used its nose to point at the fish while deadlocking its eyes on it. Meanwhile, Fluttershy tried to encourage the creature to come a little closer towards her.
“Come on, little guy… Don’t be so shy,” said the little pony.
The fox remained in its place.
Fluttershy continued to quietly beg, “I sure you would love this fresh sardine.”
The fox tilted its head towards the side before twitching its nose again. It took a single step further.
Fluttershy vocal tone sharpened as she said, “Good little foxy, now please take another step.”
The fox took a left step before sniffing the air again.
Fluttershy repeated her words. “Come on, that’s it. Just a little closer…”
The fox continued to inch its way towards Fluttershy, taking a couple more paces while still smelling the fish’s reeking scent. Before long, the fox was only about one meter away from her with eyes that were sharply focused on the sardine. Fluttershy could see that the fox really wanted it.
Fluttershy spoke up, “That’s it buddy, just a couple of more steps. Pretty please?” She batted her eyes while slowly leaning down. Placing herself on the same level as the fox, the shy pony put the sardine on the ground and scooted it almost in front of the critter. Meanwhile, observing her movements, the fox peered its head down and took another step while it sniffed and twitched its nose.
While the fish and fox measured about less than a meter away from each other, the fox still was hesitant to take the fish from the huge horse that remained on the same height, but not in weight, level as him. Therefore, it still had to act on its instincts, just in the case Fluttershy decided go rampant and potentially put its life in danger. However, as time passed, the fish was still within a manageable distance away from the pony that stayed in the same spot. To which, the fox decided to take another step and almost put its nose on the scales of the dead sardine.
Fluttershy, almost silently, cheered, “You can do it, foxy. One more step.”
The fox lifted its left leg and moved, grabbing the fish by its mouth.
Fluttershy was overcome by joy as she jumped up and shouted, “Yay!”
Alarmed by the sudden reaction, the fox clenched onto the sardine and ran off into the bushes. Meanwhile, Fluttershy, after coming down from her two meter jump, immediately felt sorry for scaring a poor innocent creature and decided to chase after it in an attempt to make up for what she did. Luckily, she was able to see what direction the fox ran off to.
Unfolding her wings, she flew over the same bush the fox jumped into. Afterwards, she scanned the ground for any marks or trails the fox might have left behind. Quick to find small footprints that were left in soggy mud, Fluttershy came back down to Earth and followed the tiny indentations in the ground towards the forest that was near her cottage.
Continuing to the follow the brown path, Fluttershy pushed aside the branches and leaves, from the trees that stood above her, while dodging the oncoming spider webs and tall weeds that pledged the forest floor. While she began to lose hope on finding the tiny fox, she motivated herself to continue forward and didn’t pay attention to the small tree root that obstructed the ground in front of her. Hitting her left forehoof on the root, Fluttershy lost control of her balance, stumbled pass the natural barrier, and fell face-first into a hole that was big enough to fit her head inside.
“Ouch,” she muttered while pulling her head out. “Uggg...” Fluttershy grunted before saying, “I guess I will never find that fox by this rate.” She then slumped her shoulders and hung her head low.
To her surprise, after she looked down, the pegasus noticed the tiny brown trial again and that it lead into the same hole she stuck her head in. Bewildered on the thought of, there is no way that it’s true, Fluttershy turned her body back around to face the small gap in the ground. Happy about the fact that she might have found her red creature again, she took a deep breath of air before she gazed into the tiny entrance, making sure there is enough light for her to see inside it. To her absolute amazement, she found the same fox from before… along with the rest of its family.
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All I can say after this is... WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!
Anyway, good story. REALLY underrated.
Aww, this is cute.^^
oh good Story
4818349
4818150
4817745
Thank you all very much for those replies!
Also, WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?!
4818466 Small details:
1. Why didn't you mention the fish in the first paragraph?
2. It's shuddered, not shuttered.
3. Since she doesn't eat meat, you might have mentioned that the fish was for one of her predatory critters.
Other than that, it's well done. Thumbs up.
Aw...
That is why Fluttershy is my favorite pony, no matter what species or creature, she will always make sure that an animal and it's family is fed and cared for. 
4818466
My pleasure.
As for what the Fox says; this depends really. A Fox can produce many a different sounds, for example a sharp, high "yipp" sound when he is frightened, a bark similar to a dog´s (since they are a related species) and my personal favourite, a shout that sounds disturbingly human-like in quality.
Sorry, could not help myself there.
4818466
My pleasure.
4818584
Eeyup. Foxes make multiple sounds that sounds completely different, unlike other animals. Also, you memorised all of them?
Short, sweet, and well written. Kudos to you, good-sir.
4818783
You could say that. I live in a small countryside village with lots of lush forests all around. I have Deers, Rabbits, Hedgehogs and Foxes as literall neighbours. One morning, I left the house, heading for work and stumbled over a full grown red Fox. It was sitting on my doormat, eating a mouse. That was when I learned about the "Yipp" sound.^^
4818541 That is one of the reasons why she is my favorite as well. Her caring nature for them really connects to my passion for animals as well.*
*Although I only have a fish right now.
4818935 Thank you! The positive responses have really helped me to know the joy of writing a story that everyone is delighted to read.*
So... Thank you, again!
*Although, I am very open to constructive criticism.
4818537
1. It is mentioned.
2. Fixed... Along with some other mistakes I found.
3. It should be implied that Fluttershy doesn't eat fish, but bought them to feed her more carnivorous animals.
Thank you for the comment, though!
4821751 I'm an animal lover myself. I can never stand to see an animal hurt or hungry.
4822019 I can understand what you mean by that. In fact, my mother and I took in a baby black and white pinto that had its mother killed my coyotes. It's name is Tuff.
MOAR FOX FICS!? OH YEAH!
4822106 YEAH!!!
4822183 This song gives foxes a bad name.
This was really nice. Look forward to reading more works from you, BW.
....
4824008 Thank you. I hope I will be able to continue to please you and my readers with great stories!
Another nice little slice-of-life sort of piece. The plot was lighthearted and fun and felt like something that would have happened to Fluttershy while in the woods.
One thing I would suggest is expanding your descriptions. Because these stories are so small and the plot or themes aren't too important, you have the change here to really work with the writing, to experiment with the sound of it and bring the scene to life. For example, in your first paragraph you say "Fluttershy was happy and content with herself as she beamed a expression of delight for the peaceful nature that surrounded her." Instead of just saying how Flutters is feeling, show it to us. I know the whole "show don't tell" spiel is cliche at this point, but cliches are cliches for a reason: the work (usually). Show how the wind plays with her mane, what the forest smells like; maybe it reminds her of a fond memory? Idk just some thoughts on where to go from here.
Have a Blunt review!
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/202157/blunt-reviews-group/thread/298486/blunt-review-fox-and-the-flutter
7856733 Thank you.
Cute and soft and gentle, just like Fluttershy herself
I have reviewed this story as part of The Reviewers Cafe,
Please find the review here
8435436
I'm very sorry to have wasted your time with a review on it. In fact, I did pull it out of the Reviewer's Cafe beforehand since I knew it wasn't any good after another story failed in there.
Also, this is one of my earliest stories as well. I've grown from this and moved on, leaving this story behind.
8435989
Oh nugget! You far from wasted my time! In fact I personally enjoyed reading fox and the flutter. It was beautifully written just poorly executed. It doesn't matter it got a bad review, you only know what to do next time. You are a really good writer! There is a reason i followed you after doing that review.
It just lacked a story structure and a proper plot line, if you learn from that I would be more than happy to accept later fics, which I most certainly would'nt say to all authors.
You have to have a little more faith in yourself! And i really hope to see more content in the future.
8436014
If you read a lot of my later stories, you will see how far my writing has changed, shifted focus, and grammatically improved. Besides, this was an experimental fic, exploring details while not focusing completely on the story.
Everything you pointed put are things I've already learned, yet I still feel bitter and upset over it.
This was so adorable
That was a good story.