They say that love can drive a stallion to do anything for a lady, and that couldn't be more true for a single, lonely stallion. As Pen Name stands on a bridge in Canterlot while the rain pours down upon him, he waits in desperation for a mare he has never meet.
Link to the original short story: Rain on the Bridge (Original Version)
(Re-write) Edited by tommal & Princess Amore Dudette
(Re-write) Pre-read by link4
Artwork by Little Tigress
Based upon the song "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne
Chapters (1)
Oh, I think I am going to like this...
Sad story, but with a hopeful yet somewhat bittersweet ending. Not bad. (And I have a feeling I think I might know who that mysterious mare was... Though if I might be wrong I won't say anything.)
A bit dull and short to be honest
7964571 That's the most common downfall of most short stories. Besides, I never wanted it to be special in the first place.
7965452
True, but you can still make even a short story engaging
Awww! How sad!
You should make a sequel where the stallion is going on an adventure to find the mare. Could be interesting
8353107
I'll think about it.
7965848
Challenge accepted... I'm rewritting this story into something a bit more longer and more emotionally engaging. Thank you for this comment. It's one of the reasons why I'm doing it.
8515890
Wait what?! :derpy1:
Huh... forgot about this
That was amazing!
I liked the first one, but now I don’t think I could have preferred the first, this one is just... Ah! I loved it! So... well described, all of Pen’s feelings, the environment he was in, I could have sworn I heard rain when I read it.
And that ending... I never imagined who the mare was in the first version, in this one that little detail adds a lot more to that scene- my favorite moment of the first one, by the way -, it’s so cute and satisfying even though it’s not exactly a happy ending.
Excellent story, my friend! You really kept the spirit of the original as well as you created a completely new story!
Simply amazing!
You can has review!