just another brony with random story ideas.
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Twilight Sparkle, aspiring student of Princess Celestia has been tasked with the most difficult challenge a Magian must face. Making friends. Along the way she will discover what it means to truly be a friend and uncover a power unlike any other.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I am interested in where your story goes. I am hoping you really use Spike and don't have him as just a joke. I mean to be honest your Spike sounds like he could be the shit with him being so tough and strong seeming more then the average for his race so I would think he would want to protect his friends. Not to mention to be honest I can see your Spike with Shy more then Rarity they just seem like they could make a cute couple he would be her protector and my the gods have mercy on anyone that makes her cry lol.
(if you can't tell Spike is my fav character lol
)
4581327 I'm a rather big fan of Spike myself and I hate seeing him just sit on the sidelines of things. He'll play a big part in this, but as to who he might end up with if that might happen...well I'll just leave that until it happens
4581585 Lol I can take that and you being a Spike fan puts a smile on my face. To be honest i can see Spike with ANYONE really. That is the draw of Spike lol. I think it would be great if you adress his age as well since he is only 3-4 years younger then them he is just short due to his race. He doesn't need to be treated like a damn baby when he clearly isn't. ... Hell most time he is more mature then the girls are lol.
4581610 Yea, I don't have him as a baby in this. I'd say Twilight would be about 17-18 years old and Spike would be about 15-16
4581641 Oh fun. The perfect anime antagonist age. I wonder will Twi stay in a sister role or will start to be seen in a more friend role. You throw two teens around that age together it will only lead to funny moments and considering how strong Spike is I can only think he might have a nice body under his shirt which could lead to some golden moments with him and the girls lol.
4581671 Hey! No spoilers for you!
But maybe.
4581703 Lol the last thing I want is Spoilers... they make everything taste like bland lol
. But I Do love throwing out ideas,like I would love to see them all loving Spike's 'backrubs' that he does so well.
Usually, I'm not much on Humanized "Pony" stories, but this one is really interesting. I like the different takes on Canterlot, Ponyville, Earth Ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi, Alicorns; etc.; so I will be following it with much interest.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
4582069 Next chapter is in the works and about halfway done. These first two are pretty much writing themselves as they are based off the two-parter at the beginning of the series. The rest of the story however will only loosely be based on events of the show while making this world more of its own thing with only major events from the show as important pieces of the story. Though there might be some slice of life stuff in there. Thanks for the fav and comment!
4582083 Cool to know; I look forward to them.
And I kinda figured that, since, with a few slight alterations, the story is pretty much those two episodes. And honestly, I like that.
And to be even more honest, I had to bite my lip to keep from busting out laughing when Rainbow plowed into Twilight and knocked her into the mud...again. It's even more hilarious the way that you wrote that scene than it was in the original episode! Wonderful! Can't wait for more!
And that's cool to know. Nice to see some fairly original ideas about that. As I said earlier, I eagerly await more of your world-building with this story.
And you're quite welcome, sweetie. I was happy to put in my two bits.
Gotta say I'm really enjoying this so far, and the inclusion of Spike makes it all the better.
That was interesting. I knew Spike could only play so big of a part during the gathering of elements but unlike the show you at least had Spike there and do something.I get the feeling they all are going to kick so much ass lol. I want to hear them ask if Spike is Twilight son or little brother and the two of them laugh like it is the funniest joke ever and he tell them that she is his friend and his 'mother' is Celestia. I would love to see Spike get some armor from Crystal Empire for becoming their savior and the one that embodiment of what they stand for most.
4585560 as of this moment Spikes only armor his his own skin/scales when he changes. The armor the girls have is made of magic, crafted from the Elements when in use, just one of several powers granted them.
4585454 I'm glad you think so. I hate seeing Spike on the sidelines doing nothing but comedic relief.
It's pretty good but there is some things you should improve like the fact that it's rushed! Take more time to move your caracter, they seem to appear out of nowhere .
Anyway, good job, keep going!
4585853 rushed? These first two chapters went at the pace of the first two episodes of the series O_o
Thanks though
This is an interesting retake of a familar story. It's good to see that Spike is playing a more center role in their adventures and being of help. I hope Spike gets more chances to be in the spot light.
I normally stay as for away as humanized pony stories as possible. However, something in the description drew me in. I have no idea what, but I'm glad it did. I am going to read the second chapter now. BTW, are you going to just redo all the episodes or are you going to throw in some original concepts or both.
4585970 only redid the two parter episode. The rest of the story will be loosely based around certain episodes while building its own world with the major episodes (Discord, Chrysalis, etc) being rewritten to fit this world. Though Discord plays a bit of a different role in this story. But that's something to be discovered later.
4585941 Its funny you say that...ERROR 207 SPOILERS REMOVED FROM COMMENT
So, Discord is going to form his own pieces isn't he? I'm hoping Gilda, Trixie and Diamond Tiara to be among those pieces. I will be following this.
i like this but i do have to say i am confused by Dash she seems to have this grudge against Magians though she seemed a little too accepting of twilight but i suppose that we will find out exactly why she is like that later on but past that confusion with Dash i am interested to see where you take this series
4586406 There is a reason for Dash not really caring much for Magians and its mostly because of the others that she is accepting of Twilight. The two of them will still butt-heads however until Dash's reasons are revealed.
4586136 I'm glad someone caught that. It seemed like everyone was just ignoring the random shadowy figure in the background nomming on popcorn.
When are you gonna update and thanks for actually involving spike like common he is a dragon he could actually help the group instead of doing whatever it is that dragons do in there free time
4599093 i've got ideas and bits of chapter written, just piecing it all together. should hopefully be able to update soon.
loved it! and what a twist at the end!
Okay, didn't see that coming. Should be interesting how you explain this one.
I did a Twilight there... I blinked, then I blinked again. A Magian that can fly. Curious. I'll be waiting to see the explanation for that one! Keep 'em coming, hotshot. Goodness knows I need my daily dose of Awesome Fanfiction (tm) to keep me sane.
4625561 Glad you enjoyed it
4626182 Very carefully and with word things
4626409 This comment made me happy. Thank you
This is a awesome story you know your like making it awesome even better since its not entirely based on things that happened in the show like most people do you add your own little twists and ideas to it can't wait to see more.
4628495 Next chapter is probably gonna make you hate me, fair warning. But its the explanation chapter and must be done!
The meme of shamylan must be quoted
What a twist
in a good way that is
4629181 oh theres more than one Shamalamadingdong twist. But i'll leave those for later
Well that was interesting. It just goes to show that even the best of intentions can do more harm than good.
Wow... That was pretty deep stuff, right there. I have the sinking feeling something terrible is going to happen to Spitfire and Soarin - either that or Firefly turns out to be some sort of fillynapper... Maybe I'm just overthinking things. Looking forward to the next update! I want to see whether or not I'm right!
4650721 well there is a part three and possibly a part four to Rainbows story. I'm just mulling over if I should write the therapy sessions.
Well I say you should put in the therapy parts but just don't drag on too long on the subject
4650770 That feels like something that should be done later. Maybe after something happens and she needs to apply some bizarre techniques the therapist taught her.
4651376 its not the therapy itself or what goes on exactly during therapy that makes me want to write it. Its WHO is in charge of her therapy that makes me want to write it.
4651308 the sessions would be quick snippets of just the important info, mostly it'd be the relationship between Dash and said therapist who I can't reveal for spoiler reasons.
4651696 t-pain? or the boring route of working with a unicorn.
4653253 what?
troll.me/images/well-played/well-played-i-suppose-thumb.jpg
4663344 indeed
This has been a quite an interesting backstory. Are you going to do this with the others and Spike? Man Discord looks creepy!
4665371 I might, but right now its a matter of "Do I make it a part of the main story or make it its own sidestory" Most likely it'll be the main story seeing as its about all of them in general.
Dr Dickson Accord... Dr Discord. How did I not see that...
..... and I need to find a large pile of bricks to throw for the really bad Puns. Cause if Discords name is any indication you are probable going to miss a few really atrocious one slip thru, Later.
Either way, this is a very nice chapter.
Dr. Dickson Accord hm? I had you at the part with the candy raining cloud Mr. D.
Well, this is an incredible well written humanisation with a hell of depth, the races as you picture them fit like a glove (at least to me) and the backstory behind RD so far is really enrapturing yet a solid bit of sad/grim.
Im defs looking foreward for more. =^-^=b