Mark Fénix, a thirty-four year old man, as well as a builder and an admirer of art,finds himself falling through the Canterlot Castle roof after simply trying to flop onto his bed at night...although the forces of nature had something to do with this transition between planes. He'll have to wait at the castle before he can return home, but will he WANT to return home? Especially with the wonders that this new world holds.
Apparently, the one who made that work of art is called Moe, but I can't really reach his page.
Chapters (13)
Liking the story so far, has some good humor, the main charecter is well played. Spelling errors are a minimum, and overall this looks like it could have some great potential!
Just one thing, dont over-explain, we dont need to know if he was standing up or sitting down.
Otherwise you have the foundation for a well written story!
Oh dear, it seems our protagonist has fallen into a hole. I'm sure he'll be fi-
blogs.ngm.com/.a/6a00e00982269188330133f2090170970b-500wi
...
This interests me. Tracking
I'm not entirely sure what happened here, did he boop Luna, or a random bystander? And assuming it was Luna, how did she hit him in the face, seeing as he's slightly taller than Celestia (assuming Celestia has a height of about six feet) and Luna has to use all four of her hooves to stand on? Did she rear up?
413610
I was assuming unicorn horn magic, really. Telekinesis ought to be able to boop you good.
Looks good! I'll be keeping an eye on this as it develops
love it.
I thought he bopped celestia
Good chapter I liked it alot *EDIT* FIRST!
I love this and finaly a hie with a sense of humour
415783 Someone who actually thinks I have a good sense of humor?4.bp.blogspot.com/-yVy9kNKQ3r0/Tn4hyAGCHNI/AAAAAAAAAKw/1AlSB5jxumA/s1600/manly+tears+discord3.png
There are some spelling mistakes and random letters here and there. Other than that, I love your humour. Keep it up!
415820 ... I'm well aware of those. It's because I type extremely fast with only my left hand. Noone needs to remind me everytime I start another story. I already know about those.
415823 Sorry, I didn't read any other of your stories so I wouldn't know. Again, sorry.
415827 I took no offense.i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/117/014/GsE3k.jpg
I think this is one of the first stories I've read where the human isn't completely outclassed by the ponies in terms of brute force. I also liked the silliness with the guards. I personally think Celestia just keeps them around for their looks.
416040 Molestia aprro...you saw nothing.
Can't help but wonder how strong he is in their world if it took both of them to stop him, lol
416163 I could do that later on, but it would be a "friendly" fight
416173 I have something planned. Don't worry. And the first one doesn't involve the princesses.
416183 Exactly. Now then :chaoticsignal.com/image/original/quiet_you_picard.jpg
is Mark Fenix a homage to Markus Fenix from Gears of War?
mark Pheonix XD
Wait... if he was going to bed... wouldn't he be naked and/or in boxers?
416546 images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2379-99229_-_animated_applejack_Applelie_liarjack_what_.gif
416638 Some people, like me, like to go to bed wearing shorts or pants and a shirt. I'll redo that part where he goes to bed to properly explain that he was wearing the underwear, teh pants, und a shirt.
416912
BUT THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR AWKWARD!
IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE HAVE HIM NOTICE THAT HE HAS BEEN IN BOXERS THROUGH THE WHOLE OF HIS SHENANIGANS!
416924 'kay, but I'll still give him his shirt.
416927
close enough
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416943
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416955arcadboymugen.webs.com/photos/ZeekyZapper/dude%20what.png
416967
Oh Noes... you deleted the picture of lyra going EW!
My revenge:
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41697524.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmnflhbn9M1qi1nrwo1_400.jpg
416979t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR--kuTGrT0YVCEmwkQFTINCaiKNfBZ_dYoVIEJYd8GtrLeED50wIw3HWZzkw
I am liking the story so far but I have one problem.
The part where he fell onto the bed and broke through the floor didn't flow too well. it seemed a bit rushed and could have used a bit more detail as to what happened. Also I feel like he should have had a bit of a different response to what happened
417566 Meh. I get your point, but I made it like that so that the reader would get confused. I plan everything in advance, even without knowing! I'm simply too images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw898_large.png
for my own good.
The story would have been much better if you didn't add little comments between the dialog between characters. It kind of takes away from the mood set by the story and, while funny, lowers overall quality of the story.
If you bring out more of these, I will read them. Just please keep the comments out of the story.
417724 Then I will remove them.
417737 Well... idk you could probably change them and incorporate them into the thoughts of character in the story. And don't get me wrong... I am loving the story. It is, for the most part, very well written and has an awesome story line.
417744 I aim to shoot originality IN. THE. HEAD.
417748 Couldn't hold my laughter back when I saw that line coupled with insane pinkie.
I do appreciate your sense of humor.
417794 You acuse me of...of having a sense of humor...i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/239/933/63b.png
This guy talks to himself WAY to much. Might want to put in a 'he muttered' every once in a while so it doesn't seem like a he's a complete whack-job.
So when tasked by the ruler of Equestria to watch over a potential threat, Philomena hangs onto him for a while and then decides to bugger off? Trollestia has trained her well.
Also Mark is now Neo from the Matrix.
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421774pictures.mastermarf.com/blog/2009/090523-one-of-us.jpg
421782 It did take an hour...just think that Mark was thinking retromodo.co.uk/img/p/17745-19959-large.jpg
Good chapter. I love this guy's inner artist, especially when he sees something like the valley and starts describing it. Keep up the good work, man!
422580 It's based on the character from the story of said name. I have BIG plans for him. Oh, and you wanted to see the story where Nightmare Moon is reborn? Sorry but, I've found in error in the storyline and I need to redo everything so that it can follow up. Instead, I'll do another HIE fic until I can sort my ideas for Nightmare Moon out, unless, you want to see Psycho's return...
GenericApplejackBuckingTheHellOutOfHumanMoment.mp4 or at least attempt to...
that darn apple family